Bound by Her

by Danielle Fox

  Today was my favourite day, Saturday, and I had already decided I was taking Emily out for lunch. It seemed like a long time since I had had Emily alone and all to myself, so when Samantha asked if she and her boyfriend, Michael, could take Maia out for the day, I didn’t even give Emily the chance to answer. I had answered yes for her.

  I had promised to visit my mother in the morning, so before our lunch date, I headed for the hospice.

  “I’d love to meet her.” Emily glanced across at me briefly before turning back to look out of the window, as if she was afraid of eye contact, as I pulled the car to a stop in the small car park. Why was she afraid to look me in the eye?

  “I thought you were happy to wait in the car.” That would be why, I concluded. I was a dick when it came to trying to protect Emily; I just never seemed to be able to find the right words to say without offending her. “I’d love you to meet her, Emily, but I need to make sure I can trust her first.” I gave her an apologetic smile and squeezed her thigh.

  “She won’t hurt me, Julian. Why would she? Besides, you’ll be there, as well as her carer, I assume.”

  “I don’t know.” I rubbed at my eyebrows before sneaking a peek at Emily from the corner of my eye. Her perfect features were marred by a deep frown as she stared out of the passenger window, seemingly at nothing. It killed me to think that I was hurting her, that was the last thing I wanted to do, but how could I be sure? How could I be sure that my dream wouldn’t become a reality? Her reality. Mind you, if I saw my mother springing for attack, I would be the last person I’d be thinking of protecting, unlike my dream. I would never let anybody harm Emily, least of all my mother.

  “Okay.”

  “Okay what?” She may have been pretending to be unsure of my meaning, but I could tell by the subtle raise in her brows and the instant life behind her eyes that she knew exactly what I meant, and she looked ecstatic. Though I couldn’t imagine why.

  “Let’s introduce you to my mother.”

  I suppose I would have to sooner or later, it may as well be now.

  “You should know, she can be kind of unpredictable. She gets confused and she may not be nice to you.” I found myself feeling almost embarrassed as I wondered what Emily would think of my mother’s seemingly constant mood swings.

  “Julian, I understand. Don’t worry.”

  But I couldn’t stop myself from worrying. More than worrying, actually. I was petrified as we walked towards the building, my heart beating hard against my rib cage. What if my mother did turn? What if she did attack my fiancée? I would have no choice but to protect Emily, which could well end up in me harming my own mother. Something that I had never once intended on doing, no matter how much I had despised her in the past. As far as I was concerned, no man should ever lay his hands on a woman. Women should be respected, treated like royalty whether they were or they weren’t. I suppose that particular belief came from years of seeing a woman, my mother, being manhandled and disrespected in every way possible at the hands of my father. Many would argue that witnessing this sort of behaviour was bound to make you turn out the same way, if it was all you had ever known. But I disagree. When you’ve seen that kind of suffering, felt her pain and shared her tears, there was nothing in this world that could make me do the same. In that respect, I was nothing like my father. In fact, I couldn’t be any further away.

  But, all that being said, if she tried to harm Emily, I don’t think I’d give a second thought to that particular belief. And that was the very thing I was struggling with as Emily stopped me before we entered the homely looking building.

  “Hey, don’t worry. It’ll be fine,” she soothed and I could feel the beads of moisture beneath her fingers as she stroked them across my temple. But what she wasn’t aware of was the fact that I was seriously pondering the thought of harming my frail, mentally ill mother if it came to it. I must be a monster. Let’s just hope it wouldn’t come to it.

  “Where is Isabella?” my mother asked as she eyed Emily suspiciously.

  Emily lingered in the doorway fiddling with her fingers but smiling widely. She looked like an angel, her cheeks were glowing a soft pink as her eyes gleamed at me.

  “She had to work today, remember? She’ll call in later this afternoon. I have someone I’d like you to meet, if that’s okay?” My mother’s eyes narrowed as if trying to figure out what I was asking, before she simply nodded. I glanced at Emily and beckoned her to me with a quick movement of my head and held my hand towards her. My mother stood from her chair, to greet my guest I assumed, but I took a step back away from her, just in case, as my heart rate soared. “Mum, this is Emily, my fiancée.”

  My mother’s face remained expressionless for what seemed like a long time before a heart-warming smile appeared and her eyes came alive. “Oh darling, Isabella never told me you were getting married. How lovely to meet you, Millie. Is that short for Mildred? I do prefer to use a person’s full name, you see.”

  Emily smiled even wider, her eyes warming. “Actually, it’s Emily. It’s lovely to meet you.” Emily extended her arm towards my mother. My mother moved forwards and I instinctively stepped in front of her, positioning myself between the two of them, although I had no idea why I felt the need.

  “Julian, I wish you wouldn’t feel the need to do that. I was only going to give her a hug.” My mother sounded wounded, her voice weak. “I’m not the person I used to be, Son. You can trust me.”

  “Of course he trusts you.” Emily pushed me aside and greeted my mother with a hug whilst I watched on tenterhooks, the beads of perspiration covering my forehead again, no doubt. “Julian never did tell me your name.” Emily smiled as she shot me an awkward glance.

  “No manners, that boy.” My mother winked. “I’m Gloria Scott. But you can just call me Gloria.”

  For the next hour, Emily and my mother talked utter nonsense and laughed as if they had known each other forever. Even I couldn’t get a word in. Emily brushed my mother’s hair and when she asked for a plait, Emily was thrilled to style it for her. I watched as her fingers entwined around each section of my mother’s greyed hair and expertly arranged it into a neat plait that started at her crown and ended just past her shoulders at the centre of her back. Now she almost looked normal.

  “Is there anything you would like, Gloria. We can get you some bits and drop them in later.” Emily asked as she smoothed an unruly curl that hung around my mother’s face with her fingers.

  “No, darling. Don’t bother yourself with my shopping.” My mother smiled and patted Emily’s hand that now rested on her shoulder. Emily glanced at me and her brows creased together as she smiled at me tightly but I couldn’t imagine what was bothering her. My mother had appeared normal for the entire visit which was a pleasant surprise, so surely she hadn’t upset Emily in any way. Maybe she simply felt sorry for her.

  After we both said our goodbyes to my mother, Emily insisted on talking to the nurses that huddled around the small, busy reception desk in the main foyer. I had no idea why, mind you, as I lingered by the door and replied to a couple of emails that had popped up on my iPhone, but I caught something about creams and bubbles. Like I said, no idea.

  When we climbed into the car, Emily’s smile was beaming.

  “What are you so happy about?” I asked, answering her wide smile with a tight grin that was no doubt marred by my confused frown.

  “Thank you, Julian. Your mother is lovely.”

  “Don’t thank me, she created me remember, not the other way around,” I joked.

  She smacked my shoulder playfully with the back of her hand. “You know what I mean. Thank you for letting me meet her.”

  “No problem.” I pulled her towards me with a gentle hand around the back of her neck and kissed her deeply, passionately.

  I still wouldn’t say I trusted my mother a hundred percent, but she seemed to have really taken to Emily and I had found myself relaxing considerably towards the end of our visit. I loved Emily more than
life itself, and now that I realised I also loved my mother, it thrilled me to see the two of them so naturally together, my worries and fears seemingly pointless.

  Chapter Fourteen

  We headed straight for the Japanese restaurant that I had booked for lunch. Emily let out a small gasp as we walked into the bar area. It really was magnificent. The bar area was dimly lit, even in the middle of the afternoon, and was made up of shiny wooden tables surrounded by plush velvet armchairs and a selection of welcoming sofas. Tall green plants lined the pale walls, giving the illusion that you were actually in a jungle. This had always been my favourite restaurant, but it felt even better than usual to be here with Emily. I had had plenty of business lunches here, but never had I bought a woman here. And I was glad Emily was my first. And my last.

  For the next hour I struggled to keep a hold on my amusement as I watched Emily attempting to master the skill of using chopsticks. It was her first time, and she wasn’t a fast learner. At one point I noticed her stabbing the squared chunk of pork straight through the middle and popping it quickly into her mouth, clearly unaware that I was watching her every movement.

  “What do you want to do now?” I asked her, stifling a laugh as she poked at her desert. Each time she thought she had the knack; she would push the sticks together, only for the food to pop upwards and slide across her plate. It was frustrating just to watch. I could quite imagine her screaming very soon, she wasn’t the most patient of people. I leaned forwards and picked up the chocolate spongy stuff with my own chopsticks and held it out towards her mouth. She eagerly took it into her mouth and I couldn’t help but watch her, mesmerised - and aroused - as she chewed it, making the occasional appreciative groan.

  “I wouldn’t mind doing a bit of shopping,” she replied, as soon as she had finished swallowing her mouthful.

  “Shopping sounds great.”

  I usually hated shopping; in fact I very rarely did it. I usually sent Maria out to get whatever I needed, whether it was simply groceries or a new suit. But shopping with Emily, I was sure I could enjoy.

  We braved the heaving crowds on Oxford Street. Not once did I allow Emily to let go of my hand, I was sure I would lose her within minutes if I had. Constantly dodging and side stepping masses of bustling bodies was not my idea of fun, but with Emily, it didn’t seem so bad. I simply concentrated on keeping my focus on Emily, rather than the ignorant fucks that didn’t even attempt to alter their direction as they came towards us head on.

  Emily only entered a few shops, and only tried on a handful of outfits; every one of them looked perfect. Even a simple faded pair of jeans made her look incredible. I was surprised when she informed me that she was in fact shopping for a new coat as she hadn’t so much as even glanced at a single one yet. I kept my eyes peeled, at her request, and actually got a little excited myself when I saw the perfect winter coat for her. I pulled it from the hanger and slipped it onto her shoulders as she grinned at me like a child on Christmas morning.

  She studied her appearance in the mirror and made a strange kind of gasping sound. “I love it!” she almost squealed in delight. It was a simple coat, but it looked incredible on her small frame. The creamy colour seemed to set off the tone of her glowing skin and I was sure her eyes looked bluer somehow. The belt that wrapped around the middle was pulled in tight, accentuating her perfectly defined waist. I was semi-hard just watching her. As she pulled the coat off, her face dropped and I realised that she had seen the price tag.

  “It’s on me,” I said, taking the coat from her hands and placing it back on the hanger.

  “No, it’s not,” she argued. “You’re not spending that amount of money on a bloody coat.”

  That amount of money? It was £429 for Christ’s sake, hardly breaking the bank balance.

  “Call it an early Christmas present. Besides, it’s not for you, it’s for us. And we agreed I could spend whatever I want on us.”

  “For us? Are you going to wear it on the weekends? ‘Cause if so, I’d better get a bigger size.”

  I chuckled at her quick wit before thinking carefully how I could tell her how much it had just turned me on seeing her in it without sounding like a pervert. Right now, all I could think about was Emily wearing nothing but a pair of sky scraper heels and that coat.

  “That size is just fine, Emily. I like you in it, you look incredibly sexy, and therefore it’s benefitting me as much as it is you, if not more.”

  She finally gave in and allowed me to pay for the coat. Well, she didn’t really have much choice.

  When I pulled out of the car park, Emily informed me that she needed to go somewhere and directed me to a small retail park. I glanced around, wondering what she could possibly want from here that she couldn’t have got earlier. There was a large sports shop ahead of me, I couldn’t imagine her in a pair of trainers, a large boots store, some sort of clothes shop that I couldn’t make out the name of, and what looked like a bed shop. A new bed?

  I pulled into the nearest parking space. “What are we doing here?” I looked around me and raised my brows as if to say ‘what could you possibly want from here?’

  “I just need to pick up a few things. For your mum.” She swung her bag over her shoulder and began across the car park towards the giant Boots store.

  “For my mum? What things?” I asked, quickening my stride to catch up with her.

  “I thought she might like some girly things, you know. Might cheer her up.”

  “I’m not sure what she’s allowed in there.”

  “I’ve asked already, everything I have in mind is fine.” Oh yes, creams and bubbles. At least that made sense now.

  I followed behind Emily as she strolled casually down a number of aisles, filling the basket that now hung on my arm with various cosmetics. Bubble bath, a bath bomb - whatever that was? Cleansing gel, toning fluid? Total effects cream, which apparently fights the seven signs of ageing, according to the box, but I was certain it was already too late for that. A hair brush, some hair ties and various clips, and a few make up items later, Emily was finally at the till and reaching into her bag for her purse.

  “Oh, no you don’t,” I warned, gently lowering her hand with my own. “I’ll get this,” I said, pulling out my wallet.

  “No, I’m getting it. Put your wallet away.”

  “You are absolutely not spending a small fortune on luxuries for my mother. She’s my mother, I’m buying it.”

  “I want to do this for her, Julian. Please don’t try to stop me.” Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me, her eyes pleading with me. I was about to argue, but then I remembered the time when Emily had gotten really angry and stormed out of the cafe when I had refused to let her pay for breakfast. That had really upset her, and I had felt terrible for it. But I couldn’t let her pay for all this for my mother.

  “Emily, please. I can’t let you pay,” I begged, sounding weak and like a moron in front of a queue of nosy onlookers.

  “You can, and you will.” Emily pushed herself in front of me and handed the check out assistant her card.

  “I would take him up on his offer if I were you. What a Gent,” the petite woman behind the counter chirped as she accepted the card cautiously.

  “Oh, he’s already been generous enough today,” Emily replied, glancing at me and raising her brows in a scolding manner. It reminded me of the time my English teacher, Mrs Pike, had caught me shoving a boy’s face into his locker at school and she had been disappointed in me, she had said, rather than being angry with me. And I had actually felt a little guilty after that. If Mrs Pike had shouted and dragged me to the head’s office it would have only fuelled my own anger and I had never been capable of feeling remorse whilst anger still coursed through my veins. But to speak softly to me and manage to sound genuinely hurt by my actions, that had gotten to me. Pissing people off, sure, that was fine by me, but disappointing people, that was something entirely different.

  “As you wish.” I managed a tight smile as
I shoved my wallet back into my jeans pocket. I suppose I should be grateful each time Emily proved to me that she wasn’t at all interested in my money, but I wasn’t. I wished that, just for once, Emily would happily take my money. I wanted nothing more than to spoil her and ravish her with gifts and luxuries, but I knew she would never accept it. And I knew I would only make her feel cheap by doing so, so I fought hard against the urge every day.

  Samantha called Emily and practically begged to keep Maia for the night, so as soon as we got back to my apartment, I poured Emily a glass of wine, grabbing a beer for myself, and ran a hot bath. Emily slipped in in front of me, resting her back against my chest as she sipped slowly at her wine. Every damn time she moved, no matter how slight that movement was, the base of her back rubbed against my already hardening erection.