Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Lavada Dee

  He put his finger over her lips. “Shhh, we’ll work it out.”

  “But...”

  He shook his head.

  She reached up to lightly kiss him, but he had other idea’s on what kind of kiss he wanted, and he deepened it. With a moan, she melted against him. “Let’s go straight home.” She breathed out the words.

  He smiled and stepped back. “We have all night, and we’re close to Jeffrey and Tracy’s, right?”

  She nodded.

  He kissed her on the cheek then covered the spot with the tips of his fingers. “Good, we won’t stay long, and by the time we get home...” He let his words trail off as he again took her mouth with his.

  Chapter 17

  Grant leaned back in his chair and took the beer Jeffrey offered him. Baylee had gone into the house to help Tracy clean up from the barbeque. He could see the two women as they moved around the kitchen and forced himself back to the conversation. “Thank you for feeding us. As late as we were, it went beyond hospitality.”

  Jeffrey smiled. “Baylee knew there wasn’t a set time. We’re just glad you could make it. We don’t see enough of her out of the office.”

  He waved his hand toward the house, where Grant could see that Jeffrey’s daughters had joined the women and were talking a mile a minute to Baylee. “They love her. We all do.”

  “She talks about you and your family. It’s nice to have friends like you.”

  “She’s like family to us. Did she tell you we met in school? You’d think the difference in our ages would have been a deterrent, but I’m not sure Baylee was ever young.”

  Grant took a drink and nodded. He couldn’t agree more, but he wasn’t going to go into it any further with Jeffrey. Baylee was a delightful combination of things that went beyond age. Innocent, passionate, intelligent, and more woman than he had ever hoped to find.

  He jerked his self back to the conversation again at Jeffrey’s next words. “And I’m worried about that nutcase.”

  Grant sat forward in the patio chair. “Whoa, I didn’t catch all that. What nutcase?”

  “She didn’t tell you she has a dicey divorce case in process? I hope it will be over in a week. It would have ended by now, but opposing counsel had an emergency appendectomy.”

  Grant remembered the court case Baylee had to get back from Seattle for. And like Jeffrey, he’d worried with the little he knew about the guy. “How dangerous is the situation?”

  “His wife is terrified of him, and not without cause. I’ll be glad to have this one over.”

  Grant frowned. He’d like to hear more of what Jeffrey had to say, but it would be getting into client-attorney territory. Anyway, it was a moot point since the women were coming out of the house.

  Baylee leaned over the back of his chair and put her arms around his neck. He liked it and liked that she wordlessly acknowledged them as a couple. She bent down, her breath tickling his neck. “You about ready to go?”

  Tracy set up a protest. “Do you have to? I want to hear more about this house and more about this guy.” She winked at Grant.

  He took Baylee’s hand and stood up, pulling her in front of him. It was getting late, and they still had an hour drive.

  Baylee looked over her shoulder at Grant and answered Tracy. “That would take all night. Grant’s going to be here for a couple of weeks, so why don’t I call you, and we’ll set up a dinner date for sometime next week.”

  The ride home seemed shorter than going out, but it was still past midnight when they got there. Baylee reached for the door handle. The lights from the city lightened the night, unlike in Montana where only the moon and stars illuminated the sky. “You’ve been quiet, letting me babble away.”

  “You weren’t babbling, and I enjoyed getting to know you.”

  “Well, I probably told you more than you wanted to know, and besides, we sort of did the getting-acquainted thing with e-mails, didn’t we?”

  “Not the same thing.”

  His voice lowered, and she leaned in to hear him. He took her hand in his and traced the palm with his thumb. “I like getting to know you. I won’t lie, I love the over-the-top physical attraction. The excitement, the intense emotions, but I like it when you tell me more about your life, too. It brings depth to us, and it makes me feel a deeper intimacy with you.” He laughed. “I’m not making any sense here, am I?”

  Baylee’s eyes were shining with unshed tears. “You’re making all the sense in the world. I never dreamed of anything like what I feel with you, for you. No one has ever cared for me the way you do.”

  He cupped her chin in his hand and kissed her. “Let’s take this inside.”

  He could tell that she was tired. She’d finished the workweek to find him unannounced on her doorstep. Neither of them had slept much last night, and then there was the full day today. Hell, he was tired. She had to be exhausted. He felt the wolf protest deep and low in his gut but tamped it down. Sleep first then—

  Baylee gave a token resistance but let him lead her through the apartment. She was asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow. He pulled her against him and heard her sigh. What would she have to say when he asked her to marry him? He was used to feeling confident and in charge, and right now he felt anything but. After hearing about her childhood, he wasn’t sure she could trust someone completely. And he wouldn’t and couldn’t settle for less. The only thing that he was sure of was that she loved him. Lust, that too, but they had so much more. His alter ego growled in frustration. To hell with waiting for her to catch up. They needed to talk.

  He gently kissed her shoulder. He held a lot of woman in his arms. Somehow he’d convince her to take a chance on marriage. He’d have to, because he wanted it all.

  * * * *

  A cool breeze floated in through the window. Baylee vaguely remembered Grant opening it last night. She didn’t want to wake up and didn’t want to move. Grant’s arms felt strong around her waist, and she could feel his warm breath on her neck. He’d be fully awake soon. She could tell by his breathing. And she loved that she knew him intimately enough to recognize it.

  Last night had been so perfect. On the ride back from Jeffrey and Tracy’s, they’d laughed together about some of her stories. He’d fallen silent when she’d recounted some of her growing up times. He didn’t like what she said about her mother. While he hadn’t said anything, she’d seen the muscles in his jaw when he clenched his mouth shut. She wasn’t sure what had come over her. She never talked about her childhood. She knew Grant’s life had been so different from hers. He’d known only love, and it came with support and encouragement. How could he truly understand how important it was to her to be independent and to be in control?

  His sleepy voice roused her from her thoughts, and she turned to face him. He gave her a quick kiss and said, “Been awake long?”

  “How did you know I was awake?”

  “You snore when you’re asleep.”

  She pulled back and punched his shoulder. “I do not.”

  “You do, too, and how would you know?” He smiled. “I know there hasn’t been any other man who could have told you.”

  She feigned indignation with a pout. “I should have never told you that you were the first. Now I’m going to have to endure that self-satisfied look forever.”

  His laugh sounded deep and sexy. “If I remember right, you didn’t tell me. More like you showed me.”

  Baylee felt her face heat up. Remembering, her body responded, and she reached for Grant’s mouth.

  When he pulled back, a soft moan of protest escaped, and her eyes flew open. This isn’t what she’d expected. When he didn’t say anything, she felt the old fear of rejection spread through her.

  “What’s wrong?” Her voice sounded loud, and she struggled to get her bearings and soften it. “Why are you looking at me this way?”

  Grant brushed a kiss across her mouth, and she fought not to pull his head down. All the insecurities flooded into her. He didn’t wan
t her and didn’t want to make love. She hugged the sheet to her and swung her legs off the bed.

  “Whoa, come back here.” His arm came around her waist.

  “Why, you obviously aren’t interested this morning.” She made another attempt to get up from the bed. This time, he let her go. She caught a glimpse of him falling back on his pillow and putting his forearm over his eyes. Did she imagine the muffled howl?

  * * * *

  Grant turned off the shower and stepped out. The room was steamed up, and he wiped at the mirror with a washcloth. Morning beard darkened his face. Baylee never minded it. In fact, she said she liked the feel of him. At the thought, his body tightened. Damn, he’d really blown it. He had wanted to talk. She’d wanted to not talk. He shook his head, thinking of the scene he painted. If that wasn’t a switch, what had he been thinking? That was the problem. He’d been thinking. They needed to talk. However, maybe he needed to reconsider the when of it.

  Well, it wouldn’t be hard to switch gears if he hadn’t managed to piss her off past the point of getting back in the mood. Damn, he sucked at this. His heart pounding, he stepped into the kitchen.

  Baylee was leaning against the counter, a cup cradled in her hands. At the sight of him, her eyes widened, and a smile spread across her face. Good sign. Maybe not shaving and with the towel wrapped loosely around his hips had been the right way to go.

  “That coffee smells good.”

  Her eyes followed him as he crossed the room and covered her hands with his, bringing her cup to his lips.

  His gaze held hers over the rim of the cup. “Tastes good, too.”

  He lowered the cup and leaned forward, taking her mouth with his. Still holding the cup with her, he used only his mouth. Her instant response, as always, thrilled him. She didn’t hold anything back. She was his, and she made sure he knew it.

  Breathing hard, he pulled his mouth away. “We need to talk, but right now I can’t remember why.”

  He took the cup from her hands and, reaching around her, placed it on the counter. He’d bet she didn’t have anything on under the toweling robe she had belted tightly closed. He nuzzled her neck as his hands untied it, and his hands moved inside. He’d been right.

  Within seconds he’d scooped her up, dispensed with the robe, found the bed, and covered her body with his. “Let’s start the morning over. This time I’ll get it right.”

  No foreplay would be needed. She was as ready for him as he was for her. He held back, thrusting long and hard. When he couldn’t hold it any longer, he let himself go and gave a self-satisfied groan when she climaxed in unison with him.

  Sated, he rolled to the side to take his weight off her. Now he didn’t want to talk. He just wanted to lie quietly and give his senses and emotions free reign.

  Half dozing, it took him a second to respond when Baylee started to get up. She was off the bed before he realized it, and he reached for her hand to pull her back. “Whoa, we don’t have to be any place or do anything today, do we?”

  She laughed. “No, but I want to show you San Francisco, and if we don’t get moving, the day will be gone.”

  “Then we’ll see it at night or...” He pulled her close and lightly kissed her. “Or next week. I’ve got two weeks before I need to be home.”

  Baylee shook her head. “Come on, lazy bones. I’ll feed you some breakfast. You need to be refueled.”

  “Is that how it seemed a few minutes ago?”

  He watched color flood her face and a smile play across her lips. His smiled matched hers, and again he gave her a light kiss. “We’ll get up in a minute, but first I want to talk to you...to ask you something.”

  When she didn’t say anything, his pulse quickened. “Baylee, will you marry me?”

  She drew in a deep breath as he held his. He watched her swallow. The tip of her tongue moistened her lips. Silence filled the room, and he closed his eyes, waiting.

  Finally she whispered. “Marry? I thought...”

  “I know, I thought the same thing, but I didn’t have an idea I could feel what I do for you and with you.”

  His gaze held hers. “Baylee, I love you, and I want it all. You, kids or not, dog or not. You are enough. The rest is added frosting.”

  Baylee looked like she wanted to cry. Grant traced his finger across her lips. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. Not that he had any experience, but wasn’t the woman supposed to yell and shout “Yes, yes, yes?”

  Her voice still whispered, as though to say anything loudly would shatter their world. “I don’t know what to say. I...”

  “You might try, ‘Yes, Grant, I’ll marry you’. Or even just ‘yes,’ or barring that, maybe, ‘I love you’.’”

  He swung off the bed in one motion. “Hell, Baylee, I don’t know what you say when a guy asks you to marry him. However, it seems to me that silence is as damning as an outright no.” He lowered his voice as pain pounded through him. “You don’t want any part of it, any part of me. Or at least not on a forever-after basis.”

  He pulled on his clothes, furious with himself for not seeing this coming. Somewhere he’d lost track of reality. Somewhere he’d thought she shared his feelings. He had to get out of here.

  He stuffed clothes in his bag and headed for the bathroom to get his things from there. At the door he turned. She sat watching him, her eyes wide and filled with tears. His heart rhythm sped up. Anger and grief fought for dominance, and he glared back. When a lone tear escaped and ran unchecked down her cheek, he groaned out a curse. In seconds, he found himself back across the room and pulling her into his arms.

  She instantly melted into him. Hungry for her taste, he kissed her. She opened her mouth, and he deepened the kiss. She made little sounds, driving his excitement to a fever pitch.

  “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

  A growl escaped when he pulled back. Her tears reflected an image of his feral look, and neither of them moved. She broke the spell when she leaned forward and brushed her lips against his. Her breath pushed her words into him. “You’re crazy, but I love you. And I’m sorry I didn’t give you what you wanted. I...” She stopped and took a deep breath. “I want to give you back what you give me, and I don’t know how.”

  Again she stopped, and this time a sob escaped. Grant pushed her hair back and kissed her neck. “Shhh, it’s not your fault. I had over a week to get what I felt straight. I don’t know how I could have expected you to catch up when I show up on your doorstep unannounced and tell you I’m planning to move to San Francisco. Then, without waiting for you to sort it all out, I propose.”

  He again pulled back and smiled at her. “Chalk it up to a guy thing, like we don’t know how to talk or something.”

  She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him back down on top of her. “It’s not you. It’s me. If I think, I have doubts.”

  “Doubts about what, not about us because there is no doubt at all that we have something very special.”

  Baylee put her finger over his lips and smiled when he kissed them. “I know, but sometimes it’s hard for me to believe you can feel this way about me. You are so perfect. Remember, I was the one that wanted you to father my baby.”

  “Yeah, I do remember something like that.” A soft laugh punctuated his words.

  Baylee rested her head on his shoulder. “I love you, but I need time. Let’s take it slow and see where we go.”

  Grant pulled back so he could see her face. “You still don’t trust me, do you?”

  “It isn’t like that. I do trust you. Why wouldn’t I?”

  He said, “Maybe because you think that if you marry me, I’ll try to control you. That you’ll lose your independence.”

  “Maybe. You’re used to being in control. So am I. What kind of partners would we make?”

  Grant let silence fill the room. When he spoke, it was deep and low. “The best kind. We respect one another. We’re honest with each other. If we don’t already complement each other
, we’ll learn.” Baylee let out a sigh. “I don’t know, Grant. I don’t want to hurt you, and having you give up your home, your family, and your practice. Well, it doesn’t seem like a good way to start.”

  He placed his finger over her lips, silencing her. “I’m not giving anything up that counts. I still have my family. They’ll be my family no matter where I live.”

  He kissed her lightly on the forehead. “I can see you need time. Let’s leave it for now. I’ll try to be patient and wait for your answer.” Somewhere in the deep recess of his soul, he heard a growl and the echoed words. It better be soon, and it better be the right answer.

  Chapter 18

  The lights of the Golden Gate Bridge flickered and then turned the bay into a light show with their illumination. Baylee sighed. This place always filled her with awe. She and Grant had finished a perfect day at Crissy Field, the restored Army base. The center rested in the shadow of the bridge and was one of Baylee’s special places.

  Grant’s arms tightened around her, and he kissed her temple. “Thank you. It’s been one of the best days ever.”

  Baylee nodded. She hoped he wasn’t thinking about the way the day had started. Every cell in her body wanted to tell him yes, she’d marry him. But first she needed to think things through. She had never dreamed anything like this could happen for her. That she could care like this. It made her realize that it wasn’t just about her. What if she said yes, and then she couldn’t make him happy. Grant had everything, a loving family, wealth, a job he loved, and physical looks. He could have any woman he wanted, so why her?

  No, before she said yes, she had to make sure he’d be happy. One thing she’d recently discovered was that the definition of love, versus lust, was its unselfishness. Grant had proven that in his choice to move to San Francisco. Leaving his family seemed the ultimate sacrifice. One he appeared to be content with. However, would he still be happy a year from now? Two years? Five?