Choose to Love [Blackhawk Brothers 2] (BookStrand Publishing Romance)

by Lavada Dee

His voice penetrated her thoughts. “You know that I’m three quarters Comanche?”

  “I knew you were Indian. I think you are very lucky to know your true heritage. The only reason that I know I have Native-American blood is that I look like my father. If I had my mother’s complexion, she wouldn’t have known who my father was.”

  He again kissed her temple. “It doesn’t matter to me, except that it makes you unhappy.”

  “It used to, and I hated her for it. Now, well, it just doesn’t seem so important anymore. You’ve given me that.”

  She felt his smile against her face. “Good, because I want you to always be happy.” He took a long breath and said, “The Comanche people believe they have an ancient totem that is part of them. That it protects and guides them. They believe it’s stronger in warriors and healers.”

  He fell silent. Baylee wasn’t sure how to respond. She’d read about similar myths but had always relegated them in with things of fairies and fantasy.

  His voice deepened. “My totem is the wolf.”

  Now she really didn’t know what to say. Was he kidding her? She opened her mouth to reply, but he continued before she could get any words out.

  “Let me guess. You don’t know whether to laugh or take me seriously.”

  He picked her hand up from where it rested on his leg and wound his fingers through hers. “It’s okay. I don’t blame you. For years I suppressed the need, hell, even the knowledge, and buried it as deep as I could. Nevertheless, things like this really do exist, and when I met you, my totem, the wolf, would no longer remain silent. He sensed the bond between us even before I did.

  Baylee backed away from Grant. She needed to gain some perspective. On one hand, she was flattered that his, um, totem, thought so much of her. It was just so—surreal. She didn’t know what to think.

  Grant stood silent and still, waiting.

  “Okayyyy.” She dragged the word out. “So how does this work?”

  “Sure you want to know now, or maybe this is enough for one night. Maybe you don’t really want to know about shift changers or...”

  “Shift changers? Grant, you have to spoofing me. People can’t shift into another form. That only happens in fantasy novels and movies.”

  His eyes seemed to gleam in the night, and she saw the feral look in them. She’d seen that look before. When they’d made love. When he was angry. When he looked at her like nothing else on earth mattered more to him. Yes, she knew that look. Even more, she trusted it. Trusted him. Her heart sped up, but not in fear.

  His gaze found and held hers. “I’m a doctor, and I can tell you that it can’t happen. That it’s impossible for a body to go from one shape or form to another, but I’ve seen the impossible.”

  She wasn’t sure why she whispered, but she couldn’t make herself take part in this conversation in a normal voice. “Have you ...”

  She swallowed and tried again. “Have you changed into a wolf?”

  He didn’t say anything. The silence engulfed them. Finally he said, “Not consciously, at least, that I know of. It’s more like a dream, where I feel the wind and freedom of the high mountain meadows. Yet, when I wake up I’ve found grass, twigs, and other items around me.”

  “Does it happen often?”

  “No, only a couple of times, and always when something happens that I feel is out of my control. Like when I left you at the airport. When I got home, I went out to the lake and fell asleep.”

  Baylee didn’t know what to make of any of this, but she didn’t care what Grant was. She knew him as a man and as a doctor. If there was another side of him, then she’d take it, too, because she knew without a doubt she couldn’t be happy without him.

  He still held her gaze. “Do I scare you now?”

  Baylee shook her head then held it high so he’d see there was no doubt in her heart. “No, I love you. All of you.”

  She lowered her eyes to their joined hands. Their skin tone was the same with his just a little darker. “What about your family? Do the others have this gene?”

  “I have three brothers. I know Tyrell has it.”

  Instead of asking how he knew this, she instead said, “The warrior.”

  “Yes, his is stronger. Where mine is benign, his is more in keeping with what he does. It may change when he gives up doing special ops.”

  “What about your other brothers?”

  “Cooper has an affinity for animals that are injured or hungry. They seek him out. Growing up, he’d smuggle them into his room. After an incident with a skunk, Dad built him a little infirmary. But no, if he has a totem, it doesn’t manifest itself. Or at least not that I know about.”

  “And, the other brother?”

  “Ah, Devon. I am almost positive there’s no sign of the gene in him. He’s a genius with computers, and if he talks any language, it’s computer. Our ancestors wouldn’t know what to make of him.”

  Baylee sighed as she walked forward and wrapped her arms around Grant. “I love you so much. I can’t believe you’re in my life.”

  His voice sounded husky and rough. “Let’s go home. Somehow I’ve run out of words.”

  Baylee heard the clock chime midnight. The day had been perfect. After they’d gotten home, Grant had dispensed with words and shown her more of himself in his gentle, exciting lovemaking. Afterward, sleep should have come easy for her, but it hadn’t. Her mind wouldn’t shut down, and it wasn’t from anything Grant had shared of himself. She somehow fully accepted, even welcomed, the ancient gene within him.

  Something else didn’t feel right, and she knew darn well what it was. Grant was doing all the giving. He was not only planning to relocate to San Francisco, he was doing it without asking anything back from her. It not only didn’t feel right. It was dead wrong. She wanted an equal partnership, and this wasn’t the way to start it. Grant had said he didn’t care where they lived as long as it was together. Why did she want to stay in San Francisco? She stared at the wall where lights from the city traced patterns, and she knew the answer.

  She had to be independent. She had worked hard to extricate herself from the lonely hopelessness of her childhood. If she trusted someone, would she become needy? Her mother had always needed a man, someone to take care of her. She couldn’t live like that. So she should what, be selfish? Grant told her he wanted her to be happy, and if she was, he would be, too.

  Baylee felt a weight lift. She loved Grant, so wasn’t loving him and wanting him to be happy enough? Not caring that he was asleep, she turned over to face him.

  He mumbled something in his sleep and pulled her against him.

  She couldn’t see him in the darkened bedroom but instinctively knew if he were awake, he would be able to see her. She reached up and kissed his lips, letting hers linger. She felt him respond and smiled. His body didn’t seem to need to be fully awake.

  Validating her thoughts, he whispered against her mouth. “I don’t need to be fully awake to make love to you.”

  “Well, you need to be fully awake to hear what I want to tell you.”

  “Can’t wait until morning?”

  “I can’t sleep.”

  “I’ll give you something to dream with,” he replied sleepily.

  “Yes!”

  His hand traced across her naked hip and pulled her closer.

  Baylee fought to stay focused. Another second and she’d forget about talking. “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

  Grants eyes flew open, and he pulled back so he could see her. “Hallelujah! When? Soon? I can’t think of better words to wake up to.” Laughing, he hugged her. “You’ve just made me the happiest man alive.”

  She smiled at him and propped herself up on the pillow. “But I don’t want you to move to San Francisco.”

  He sobered immediately, and she could almost hear his thoughts. No long distance.

  She knew he could see her and smiled. “It doesn’t make sense for you to move here. We both agree we want an equal partnership, we both want to make
the other happy, we both...”

  He tensed, and she hurried her words. “So look at our lives as a couple. If we make our home here, we give up your family. If we make our home in Blackhawk, we won’t leave any family in San Francisco. I’m not giving up a home. I don’t have one right now. You do. A beautiful house that, together, we’ll make into a home.”

  She could feel him staring at her and said, “I should have realized Saturday when I kept looking for a house like the one you’re building.”

  Grant finally moved. “Are you sure? I’m serious when I say I won’t be happy unless you are.”

  “I know, and the same is true for me. For the first time in my life, I know what love is. I’m not giving anything up. I’m getting it all.”

  Grant’s voice sounded gravelly with emotion. “I’m the one getting it all. But I promise I’ll do everything possible to enable you to fulfill your dreams.”

  “A baby?”

  He laughed. Reaching over, he kissed her and whispered. “At least two.”

  Baylee sobered and said, “Seriously, what if I decide to do something besides law? Or maybe the type of law, I’d like to try something other than handling divorces.”

  “As long as you’re not giving it up for us.”

  “I won’t, but I might just do part time. I’ve worked since I was thirteen years old. I lied and told the restaurant I was sixteen. It would be nice to be able to have time to read for pure enjoyment, and I’d love to try writing a novel and I’d...”

  “Taking time for yourself sounds like a great idea. And that would also mean more time for us, which sounds even better.”

  Baylee snuggled back down in bed. Feeling drowsy, she mumbled that now that they knew what they were going to do, they’d figure how to do it in the morning. Almost immediately she was asleep.

  * * * *

  Grant, on the other hand, could not shut his eyes. He watched her sleep. He heard her light snore. He saw the early morning sun lighten their room and watched Baylee waking up. She looked like a sleepy kitten. The bedside clock said six o’clock. Plenty of time for—

  She smiled at him, and his heart skipped a beat. He kissed her, intending it to be light and playful, but when her arms came around his neck, his body took over. He slanted his mouth to gain better access.

  She immediately melted into him. He could get used to mornings like this. In the soft light she looked at him with an invitation in her eyes.

  “Did you mean what you said last night about wanting to live in Blackhawk?”

  “Ummm, it makes sense and feels right.”

  She sounded like her mind wasn’t fully awake. But the way she moved against him said that her body didn’t want to talk. And unlike last time, he was going to listen to her signals.

  With a groan, he joined her and let his body take control. Slowly, he ran his hand over her hip, savoring the feel of her.

  She took the initiative and moved over him. A different kind of excitement surged between them as she gently made love to him with her mouth and hands. Grant struggled to let her explore and seek. Finally he couldn’t hold back. He reversed their positions. A sigh escaped him when her warmth drew him deep inside.

  Her body was tight, and a few long thrusts brought her to a shuddering climax. Not holding back, he joined her.

  Grant braced his arms to relieve her of his weight but stayed joined. “I love you. Do you absolutely have to go to work today?”

  She murmured a soft “yes.”

  “Open your eyes and tell me you love me,” he whispered.

  She smiled and slowly did as he asked. “I...love...you.”

  “And?”

  “And I have court today. And it’s a full day. And the first case is one I want to get settled.”

  Baylee pushed from under him and pulled the sheet under her arms as she sat up.

  Grant laughed. After what they’d done with and for each other, and she was still modest enough to use a sheet. Swinging off the bed, he headed for the bathroom. “Let me pull on some pants, and I’ll make coffee while you shower. I want to get this long day over as fast as possible.”

  Baylee made short work of showering and dressing. By the time he had the coffee done and toast made, she’d joined him in the kitchen.

  He let out a whistle. Gone was the kitten-looking lover of this morning. She had on a black pin-striped power suit complete with a tailored white silk shirt. The pair of three-inch pumps added height and presence to the outfit.

  “Wow, where did you come from?”

  She did a little pirouette. “You like the look?”

  “More like I’m intimidated by it. You look every inch the kick-ass attorney.”

  Baylee laughed and pulled his head down for a kiss. “And now?”

  A growl erupted from Grant’s throat. “Now I want to take your hair down, your coat and shirt...hell, the whole wardrobe off. And...”

  She danced away from him, her eyes twinkling with playfulness. “You’ll mess me up.”

  “Yeah, that’s the idea.”

  Chapter 19

  Baylee walked into the courtroom wishing she didn’t have to be here. Gladys Brakenbush, Joseph Perkins’s attorney, nodded to her. She didn’t see Mr. Perkins, so maybe, like Cindy, he had chosen not to be present. She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding. Maybe this would go better than she’d expected.

  Their case was the first of the day, and Baylee made her way to the front. The clock on the wall read nine fifty. Ten minutes to get her papers out and organized.

  Gladys looked over at her and shrugged. The courtroom filled up behind them with people seeking dissolutions from their marriages or other family matters.

  To Baylee it took on a surreal feel. It had been her world for the past five years. She was young for the position she held. It had been a good run, but she was tired of all the drama. She had never thought that way until Grant had given her a glimpse of another life. With that first look, she’d felt a crack in her world. Now she wanted to throw the door open and step with him into a new life.

  The judge settled herself behind the bench. Joseph Perkins still hadn’t appeared. Baylee let out a sigh of relief. Not that she was worried about the outcome. California had a no-fault divorce law, and without exceptional cause, Cindy’s dissolution petition would be granted.

  The judge addressed Baylee, asking if the petitioner was in attendance. Baylee rose to answer, but before she could get to her feet, the door to the courtroom crashed open. Joseph Perkins stood in the open door. His eyes darted around the room with a crazed look in them. A murmur of alarm sounded from the people, and the judge banged the gavel, asking for order.

  Joseph made his way to the front of the room. He stopped about four feet back from Baylee and Gladys. His lips barely moved as his eyes raked past Baylee to his attorney. “Where’s Cindy? You told me she’d be here.”

  Gladys held her hand out to him. “It’s okay, Joe. It’s...”

  “No!” he yelled.

  Baylee started to move toward Gladys as Joe drew a gun out from under his coat.

  Joe screamed out, “No, it isn’t okay!”

  As if in slow motion, Baylee watched as he raised the gun and fired. The bullet hit Gladys in the neck, and Baylee saw the red blood soaking through her white shirt. She lurched forward to help, barely seeing the guard by the door go down as Joe swung his gun toward the retreating back of the judge. He fired then turned back toward her. She could see the cold, steel barrel of his gun pointed directly at her.

  Baylee screamed.

  * * * *

  Grant booted up his laptop. The apartment felt lonely without Baylee. He heard Jeffrey call out, and then the sound of feet rushing up the stairs. Grant reached the door, and swung it open just as Jeffrey hit it from the other side. Jeffrey shouted at him, “There’s been a shooting at the courthouse!”

  Grant didn’t stop to ask questions. In seconds the two men were out the door. “I’ll drive,” Jeffrey panted as
they ran down the steps.

  Grant didn’t argue. His heart was pounding so hard he wasn’t sure he could.

  It was only a few blocks to the courthouse, but Jeffrey said that if they needed to go to the hospital, they’d need a car. Grant clenched his jaw shut. He felt like howling at the anguish surging through him. He didn’t want to think about a hospital or the need to get to it.

  Jeffrey’s face went white when they rounded a corner and saw the scene outside the courthouse. Grant knew his own face probably mirrored the look. “Damn it, pull over and let me out.”

  Without a word, Jeffrey did as Grant instructed. The car was still moving when Grant swung the door open and jumped into chaos. People were streaming out of the courthouse around uniformed officers trying to get in. Sirens from police cars and medic van’s pierced the air.

  Grant cursed under his breath and made for the open doors. Following the officers, he raced up the stairwell. There were a group of people coming down, and Grant sucked in his breath. They were covered in blood. He didn’t pause or give thought that any of them might be injured. They were walking on their own, and his one intent was to find Baylee.

  At the door to the courtroom, he was stopped by a uniformed officer. “You can’t go in there.”

  Grant could see into the room, and what he saw caused his heart rate to soar. It looked like a slaughter. Blood splatters dripped from the bench and covered the floors. What in the hell had happened? It looked like an automatic gun had sprayed across the room.

  He reached for his wallet for ID to let the officer know he was a doctor, but before he could get it out, the officer had his hand up behind his back and was pushing him toward the floor.

  Grant tried to keep the panic out of his voice. “It’s okay, I’m a doctor. I was just trying to get my ID to confirm it for you.”

  The officer released him but kept his hand ready to unholster his gun. Grant made a mental note to be more careful. Everyone would be on full alert.

  When the officer was satisfied he was who he said he was, he motioned for him to go on in. Grant quickly scanned the room but didn’t see Baylee. There was one team of medics working on a guard, and within seconds another team joined them. Grant moved farther into the room. A man lay on the floor, and it would be a miracle if he were still alive. He’d been shot in the head. Even if he lived, he wouldn’t thank them for saving him. At best it would be a horrendous recovery, and at the worse—