Jeff hadn't even thought about it. He was too focused on Carmella. It made him feel even guiltier. Everything for the last couple of days had been highs and lows, guilt then pure bliss.
He got away from his sister and went back to meet with the elders. He also had to go see Vanessa. They knew each other quite well, but he never would have imagined that he would have to marry her. She was beautiful, sure enough, but there was something missing. He would never feel for her the way he felt for Carmella.
Vanessa was waiting for him. They had made a date the day before, and while he was fifteen minutes late, she was happy that he had come at all. She said as much, and he just kind of smiled in response.
“I was starting to think you weren't going to come at all, Jeff.”
He shrugged. “I'm here.”
Vanessa smiled. The redhead was practically glowing. Her smile was big, and her green eyes twinkled back at him. There was attraction there, and something else. Jeff had a feeling that Vanessa wanted to be the alpha’s mate. It didn't really matter who the alpha was, just that she was the one by his side. She hungered for power in the way his father had.
“Yes, you are. When I heard about your father, I was devastated.”
He just nodded because he had heard those types of statements for the last couple of days, even though he knew they were all crap. Nobody felt that way about his father. Nobody.
“I didn't know the two of you were close.”
“We actually were. He helped me several times when my family needed it. He has always been generous.”
For a moment, a thought occurred to him, and he blurted it out before he even knew what he was doing.
“Have you been with my father?”
She looked at him questioningly and then shook her head, like she couldn't believe that he would ask such a thing.
“Do you really think that of me?”
“Truthfully, Vanessa, I don't even really know you. We went out once many years ago and now I'm expected to marry you. Forgive me if I don't understand how this is even possible. Now, if you were with my father and you had some sort of connection with him, I guess it would be easier to understand. Without that, though, I guess I just don't get it.”
It wasn't the best way to start a marriage. As much as he was frustrated with the situation, it made no sense to make everything more complicated.
“I don’t know you very well, either, Jeff, but I never thought of you as a cruel person. I guess I was wrong.”
She got up and walked away. Jeff was there, feeling like an idiot, but there was nothing he could do about it. He’d failed on all sides. He failed to get justice for his father, failed his love for Carmella, and failed his soon-to-be wife. Jeff didn’t know how much more failure he could take.
Chapter Seventeen
Vanessa went to Jeff’s house later that evening because she had not conducted herself very well the last time they’d seen each other. He had hurt her feelings, so she had taken it upon herself to get offended by it. That had not done any good, though. They were still a way from where they needed to be. Vanessa had known about the decision that Jason had made. If he wanted her to marry his son, he should have prepared Jeff for it.
Now, she didn't know how to feel. She was shown into the dining room. The servant said they were going to get Jeff. Vanessa was looking around, trying to get used to this being her house. It wouldn't be long until she lived there. That had Vanessa smiling. She just needed to focus on the good. Soon she would be married to a powerful alpha and would be able to do whatever she wanted.
She already was everything that a wife of a leader needed to be. It hadn't been hard to win Jason over; it appeared it would be a little more complicated when it came to Jeff.
Vanessa heard someone coming in and moving around into the kitchen; she got up, thinking it was Jeff. She believed he was making her a drink, so she stopped when she saw that it was actually Jason's fiancée. She had never talked to her, but Vanessa had heard enough about her from Jason. Jealousy came through her, but now she wasn't jealous of her at all. She would not be leading the clan. Instead, she would be sent away, to wherever she was supposed to go.
She put a smile on her face and said hello. Carmella did not jump, only offering a moment of silence, and then she repeated the same hello back. Vanessa felt almost disrespected because she did not look at her fully. Here Vanessa was, checking her out, and Carmella didn’t seem to even be bothered by her presence.
“I'm sorry to hear about your fiancé.”
Carmella looked up again. Thanked her for her condolences. Never once did her eyes fully meet Vanessa’s. It was really starting to bother her, so she moved closer to Carmella and got in between her and the cup of tea she was making on the counter.
Carmella finally looked at her and asked her if she needed something.
“There's nothing that I need. I am just getting acquainted with my new house. I'm going to be married to Jeff soon, so this will be mine. Have you decided where you're going to go now that your fiancé is dead? I mean, you can't possibly think that you will be able to stay here much longer.”
Now she had Carmella's attention, and their eyes finally met. Vanessa expected to see some kind of weakness, sadness, something. Her life had been turned completely on its head, and Carmella should've shown some kind of sign of coming apart from it. Vanessa didn’t see it, though.
“I suppose I will have to make arrangements. It has all happened so suddenly. I'm sure Jeff will let me stay until the funeral is over, at the very least.”
Carmella sidestepped Vanessa, and there was a moment the redhead wanted to physically harm her. Why did Carmella make her feel that way so immediately? She was a nobody. She was supposed to marry Jason, but Jason was dead now. His son was going to be the leader. Why was Vanessa so concerned with such a lowly person in the grand scheme of things?
She didn't have an answer but decided that it would be better for her to take the high ground. There was always time later to get her revenge for the slight she found Carmella committing. It would just be that much sweeter, Vanessa assured herself. It actually brought a smile to her face—that is, until she saw how Jeff was looking at Carmella from the doorway.
Jeff pulled Vanessa up to one of the libraries in the house. It was on the second floor and plenty far away from Carmella, which Vanessa was now mentally blaming for the cold reception she got from Jeff. It couldn’t be a coincidence, and she hadn’t been seeing things.
“I didn't expect you to come over. After the way we left things the other day, I thought that it would be best for us to take some time apart.
Vanessa waved him off like she didn't want to talk about it. “I don't think that is a good idea. Marriage is for the long haul, right? It would be better if we just work through this. I know that this may not be what you had in mind, but it's not like you're dating anybody right now. Are you?”
He agreed that he wasn’t, but Vanessa was waiting for something else. She wasn’t stupid. She had seen something in his eyes when he looked at Carmella, and Vanessa was sure that something had happened between them. She just wasn't sure what, but she was going to find out. Vanessa was also determined to get Carmella out of the house as soon as possible.
“So, it's settled. We're going to be married, and lucky for us, there's a full moon tomorrow. I guess instead of the other wedding, we can do ours then.”
He immediately disagreed. “I don't think that would be a good idea.”
“Why not? There isn't going to be another full moon for weeks. Do you really want to wait that long?”
She was trying to look sexy and to talk him into it. If he couldn't see the sense of it, then maybe he would see something else that he liked and that would propel him forward. However, it didn't work. He barely even looked at her before he told her that he didn't mind waiting.
“Can I ask why you want to put it off?”
“Because my father just died and the last thing I want to do is get married
on the same day he was supposed to marry. It just doesn't seem right, and hopefully as my future bride, you can understand that.”
He worded it in a way that made it impossible for her to object. Of course, she had to go along with it now. If not, she would be considered thoughtless, and Vanessa couldn't have that. Her family was of good blood, and she needed to act like it, no matter how hard it was.
“Of course. I wasn't thinking. I am just excited to be with you, Jeff. That's all. You have to know that there are many women in the clan who have always admired you from afar.”
“You seemed pretty busy to me, Vanessa. After we broke up, it didn't take you long at all to move on.”
Another barb that she just deflected and pretended that she didn't get hit with.
“Well, I couldn't wait for you forever, could I?”
“I guess not.”
“We were both young and made mistakes. I wasn’t the only one that moved on pretty quickly if I remember right. You didn’t seem fazed by it either.”
“And now things are different?”
“They are. We are to be married; it is our fate, so why wouldn’t we enjoy it? We have been together because we chose to be already. I don’t think that it would be that hard to imagine that we could be together again. You will become the alpha and I will be there by your side, ready to do your bidding. Though we don’t have to wait for it to be official if you would like to get to the fun parts.”
Vanessa knew that he was the sort of man that saw all of the beautiful women and knew he could have any of them. She would let it be known that she was there for him. She was there to fulfill all of his desires.
When she moved closer, putting her hand on his chest, he moved back. It was clear that he didn’t like the touch, but Vanessa didn’t want to stop it. She wanted him to see that she was there for him. She started to take her shirt off, but he stopped her.
“Stop, Vanessa. That is unnecessary.”
Her pout was immediate. That spurn she could not ignore. He was turning down her sexual advances, and that was hard to handle.
“You don’t want me?”
“You’re a beautiful woman, Vanessa, so I think you know what you do to a man.”
That got a smile out of her, and she relaxed some. “So, you want to wait until we’re married and it’s more special? I like the idea of that too.”
Chapter Eighteen
Jeff saw Carmella coming in, and he groaned.
“Please don’t come in here yelling at me, Carmella. I can’t take another hysterical woman right now.”
Jeff looked up and Carmella was frowning. It wasn’t hard to imagine that she didn’t take kindly to his words. He was putting his foot in his mouth repeatedly, apparently, yet didn’t know how to stop.
“Fine, I won’t yell at you. I didn’t realize that you were so sensitive. I need you to do me a favor. I know that I don’t have the right to ask, but since we have been together intimately, I know no one else to ask.”
He braced himself for what words would come next. Surely, they wouldn’t be good.
“Of course, I will help you in any way that I can, Carmella. I also want to talk about all of this. You kind of didn’t want to, which is understandable, but we have to talk about it. We can’t just pretend that nothing happened.”
“I am not interested in talking about it. I can’t go back to before I met you, unfortunately. It’s impossible. The damage is already done, as they say.”
He frowned at her, but she didn’t meet his gaze. She instead seemed to be picking up courage to say something, and he waited to see what it was going to be.
“Look, after talking to Vanessa, it came to my attention that I don't have a reason to be here anymore. It is probably time for me to go, although I am not sure where I'm going. I know that's not your problem and everything, but I was hoping you would do something for me to help me out on that end. From the sound of your fiancée, I need to get out of here pretty quickly and I want to make sure I don’t overstay my welcome.”
Jeff was surprised the two of them had really talked. He had seen Vanessa and Carmella together in the kitchen, but he didn't realize there was such a conversation. It bothered him that Vanessa was inserting herself into his life already. Yes, they were supposed to be married, but just because his father wanted them to get married and put things in place for it to happen didn't mean that he had to.
“I am sorry if anybody made you feel like you had to leave. This is my house, and you can stay as long as you want, Carmella. I would never kick you out in such a time.”
“Why, because I am eaten-up with sadness over your father?”
He frowned again. She said it with a derision in her voice that he did not like to hear. Of course, she would say something like that. There was more to it. They both knew it, and Jeff obviously remembered quite well what they had done together. The idea that it was his father's fiancée was still crystal clear in his mind. Jeff knew that it was the wrong thing to do, but he would choose the same path again. He did not regret his night with Carmella. What he regretted was the next morning when the world came down on their heads.
“Look, just tell me what it is that you need and I will do everything in my power to make sure that you get it. All you have to do is ask.”
She took another deep breath and he was starting to get worried. She was making it into more than it was going to be, surely.
“I want you to find me a husband, Jeff.”
“What?”
“You heard me. You said before that there were many people in your clan that would marry me. I guess I'm hoping that you will find me one. You know everybody better than me so you would make a better choice. Obviously, it's not about love, but convenience, and I don't know what else to do. Do you think you could help me?”
She looked at him, her blue eyes imploring him to do as she bade. All he wanted to do was throttle her, his hands itching to go around her neck. Did she realize what she was asking?
“I must have heard you wrong, Carmella. I could have sworn that you asked me to find you a husband.”
She looked at him a little strangely and then agreed. “Yeah, that's what I asked for. I really need your help, and I was hoping that since you're about to be the alpha, you could at least point me in the right direction.”
“So, you're just going to marry some random person?”
He got a dirty look for that question.
“What do you think I was going to do before? You were the one that changed things and made me think that it could be different, but now I see that I was just being silly. I am not going to get the fairy-tale ending, so maybe I can at least get a husband out of it. Now that I am tainted, I hope that somebody will take me.”
Jeff was feeling queasy to his stomach again. The last thing he wanted to think about was another man touching her, ever. She was right, of course. Here he was about to get married to another woman and he just expected her to be okay with it. The mere mention of her with another man, though, made him fill with rage that took over his entire being.
How could he tell her that there was no way he could do such a thing? He loved her, and he didn't want her to be with anybody else. It didn't mean that he could be with her himself, but Jeff would never be able to stand aside and let another man have her.
“I just can't do that.”
“What do you mean? You won't even help me? You just said that you would do anything, as long as I asked. This is me asking.”
“I didn't know that's what you would ask of me. Surely, you can understand that that is a bit too much for me.”
“No. I don't get it. You can take my virginity and make me feel loved, and then the next day you're getting married to someone else. That’s a bit much. I can't go back home, so I need to find someone here that would take care of me. That is how it was always supposed to be. I guess I am just going back to the original plan. If you don't want to help me, I can go back to Jamie and see if she has another client that would
be suited for me.”
She was talking herself into it, and before Jeff could stop her, she was walking out of the room. He was left in a daze, his mind reeling, trying to figure out her angle. Was she just messing with him? Was she being serious? All he knew for certain was he didn’t want Carmella to go anywhere. He didn't want her to disappear in the night and never come back. He didn't want to think about it, but he knew that Carmella would leave in the middle of the night if she had to.
Could he really help her? Could he set her up with another man?
Jeff knew he might not have a choice, but the very idea of it made him sick to his stomach. How would he ever be able to do that? Losing her was bad enough but giving her away to someone else wasn’t something he was strong enough to do.
Chapter Nineteen
Carmella left in a rush, and it wasn't because she was mad. She was actually upset, and she felt like she was on the verge of tears that she didn't want to shed in front of him. That would have been even worse than the sadness that she felt in her heart, the embarrassment of him knowing that she was taking it so poorly.
She figured that since he was going ahead and getting married, he would help her out. It wasn't like he cared for her. How could he when he had taken everything from her and then just thrown it away? It didn't seem possible to be able to carry on. After talking to Vanessa, Carmella knew she had to get out of there quickly.
When she got back to her room, she threw herself on the bed and tried her best to get herself together. It didn't last very long, though, only a few minutes before she just let the tears stream down the sides of her face and get lost in her hairline.
She laid there staring at the ceiling for at least half an hour, maybe even an hour, before she finally moved. She wiped the wetness out of her ears and down her neck. It had been a long time since Carmella had let herself give in to the self-pity that wanted to take over. Usually, she could push it away and find some sort of silver lining. There was none at the moment.
Alpha Shifter Bride Service: (A Paranormal Romance Series) Page 18
