Love, Life and Naughty Bits

by Tania Cooper

  As she turns towards the door of our building, she notices he doesn’t turn her way, but can still see his creepy stare as he watches out of the corner of his eyes. A feeling of nausea washes over us. My girl struggles to maintain her composure as she makes her way through the crowded lobby. She is about to step onto the elevator when someone grabs her elbow. She screams in fright as her mind imagines Mr. Stalker slithering through the crowd, waiting to catch her with her guard down.

  “I didn’t mean to scare you Lex, I just wanted to tell you we haven’t received any phone calls lately. “

  Holy fuck! It’s just Alecia, the receptionist from our own offices. Damn, my poor girl’s heart is taking a pounding with that fright. She has tears at the back of her eyes she is desperately trying to keep from falling.

  “Thank you Alecia, I really appreciate you letting me know.”

  I’m thankful the ride is packed as we all cram in and Alecia starts to talk to someone else she knows. My poor girly needs a moment to compose herself before heading into Lane’s office.

  I don’t want to walk in there. How is my Eight going to take the news that the waiting game is back on? Will Lane agree or will he get sick of the complications? Work romances aren’t always romantic, they can be complicated and dangerous in more ways than one, but with their workload only going to increase with each coming week, distracting each other will only cause unwanted stress. Well, that’s what Alexis is thinking when she walks into Lane’s office ready to tell him her thoughts.

  “Oh Hot Lips, today is going to be a good day, baby.”

  “Umm, I’m not so sure about that, Eight.”

  “What? Why baby?”

  “Maybe you should just wait for Alexis to start talking. Just remember, it’s not forever.”

  “What the fuck?”

  Lane is just finishing up a phone call when Alexis walks in and places her laptop and bag down at her desk. She is trembling with fear and doubt, yet I can still feel that she is adamant that what she’s about to say is for the best.

  “Good morning, Lexi. I have something important I need to discuss with you.”

  “Morning, Lane. There is something I also need to tell you. Do you mind if I go first?”

  “Of course Lexi. Go for it.”

  He is awfully chirpy today. I’m not looking forward to the aftermath of this next conversation.

  “Lane … I’ve been thinking. With the pressures of this campaign only going to increase, along with the workload, I can … I can no longer continue what’s going on between us right now. It’s becoming difficult to separate life and work and that’s resulting in my productivity decreasing. I’m having to do more work from home when it’s late and I’m tired and I feel as if I’m not giving our client my best. I just … I just never saw myself in this type of situation. An office affair is not something I ever considered being a part of my life. Maybe when the project’s finished we will both see things differently, but for now, work has to be my main focus. I hope you understand.”

  “Whoa, Hot Lips. This is bad, this is real bad. My boy’s blood pressure just went through the freaking roof. He planned to confess his feelings for her and she comes out with that!”

  “Hang on, what did you say?”

  “He had this whole speech prepared and was going to tell her exactly how he feels, I mean exactly how he feels. He wanted to make her officially his and then was going to promise that he wouldn’t let it affect their work. He had it all worked out in his head and now … fuck! This is bad.”

  “I understand, Alexis. This has been affecting our work and I can see the quality in what I produce is not up to my usual best. I agree it’s for the best that we stop.”

  “Eight, he sounds so cold. This is breaking my girl’s heart. She was hoping they could go back to their friendly selves and at the end, start something really meaningful together. Now she feels as if her worst fears are coming true and he really didn’t have strong feelings for her.”

  “This is beyond fucked up, babe. My boy is pissed and hurt at the same time. These two are in exactly the same spot but neither realise it because they hold their feelings close to their chest for too fucking long. This is such a clusterfuck!”

  “Oh Eight. What’s going to happen now?”

  “We pray, baby, we pray.”

  Alexis swallows hard as Lane stares at her with no emotion on his face, like she is a stranger who is interrupting his work day. She shifts from one foot to the other, not sure how to deal with this awkward moment and the feeling of her heart breaking in her chest.

  “Lane … I hope we can go back to our friendly selves. We still have a few more weeks left of this project with the stress only mounting. I hope this situation doesn’t add to that.”

  “It won’t. We will just focus entirely on work. So let’s get started, shall we? We need to go over the change in colours for the digital campaign’s main title; the last one looked too bland.”

  Okay, that right there was a direct hit to our girl. She had chosen that original colour, and at the time, Lane loved her choice. So this is how it’s going to be now? He is going to revert straight back to Mr. Uptight? No in between, no real Lane, no compromise at all? To Alexis’s credit, she holds her head high and moves over next to Lane to choose another colour while trying her hardest to hold her heart in place.

  “Baby, I’m sorry. This is just … self-preservation. He is hurting and his only way of coping is to completely shut himself off from her. Give him time, he will realise it soon enough.”

  “I just hope it’s not too late when he does.”

  The rest of the morning is suffocating. You could cut the tension with a knife it’s lying that thick in the cooped up air of this office. After choosing a new colour for the main title of their digital campaign, a colour Alexis believes will not work so well, but didn’t want to cause an argument with Lane by speaking up, they spent the rest of the morning at their own desks in silence. The click of their keyboards is the only sound in the room. That and the loud beating of my girl’s shattering heart.

  She decides to be herself despite the ache in her chest and reach an olive branch out to Lane.

  “I’m on a roll here, Lane, and it looks like you’re also on a streak. Would you like me to order some lunch in so we can continue working?”

  “No thank you, Alexis. I have a meeting to get to. In fact, I better get going. If anything work related comes up just text me.”

  Lane shuts down his laptop then pushes it into his briefcase before taking his suit jacket from the back of his chair and sliding it on. He grabs a set of keys from his top desk drawer and walks out of this office so fast I don’t even have a chance to say a goodbye to Eight.

  Alexis sits stunned for a few more minutes before she quietly gets up, walks over to the door and closes it. Flipping the latch to lock it, she slowly walks back to her desk and sits down on her chair. Then there is silence. Her breathing is slight and her heart is slow. It’s not a reaction I was expecting and quite frankly, it’s more alarming than if she was to burst into tears and drop her head onto the desk.

  She breaths in slowly, lets it out just as slow, and then turns her attention back to her computer, continuing with the research she started an hour ago. I’m not sure what to do. If I knew exactly where her head was at, I would know what hormones to pump her with to get through the sting that Lane has left by his cold demeanour.

  Seeing as it’s work she is currently focusing on, big brain and I pump up her creative juices to hopefully keep her distracted, but the nothingness she is displaying is still alarming. She continues to hold her emotions back as the day slowly turns into night. When it’s time to finish and Lane still hasn’t returned, or messaged that he has been held up, well, that’s her breaking point.

  A single tear slips down her cheek, gripping the edge of her jaw for a few seconds before dropping to the document below. Her head quietly falls forward, and she stares at the water stain on the white paper slowly spr
eading out before it comes to a stop. Time is frozen in this single moment of silent pain. Soon another stain appears and another and then another. Tears silently fall as she tries to hold onto the heartbreak that is threatening to suffocate her.

  As she sits there quietly sobbing, I feel a loss I have never felt before. Even the ex didn’t cause this type of devastation. Is it because she truly saw Lane as being different despite her fears? Or is it because she was hoping he would understand and respect her need to quell things between them until the project was over? He agreed the first time they decided to put their attraction on hold. She didn’t even get a chance to tell him she wanted to see where things went when the campaign was all over. His cold response left her feeling unable to ask him if he would … well … wait. His quick agreement to her words was not the response she was dreaming of.

  So what now? How do you move on when you were doing everything you could to protect your heart and it ended up being broken anyway? You call your friends. We need our girls, stat!

  

  Even though the girls know Lexi isn’t in the mood for some male company, they believe a little man candy wouldn’t hurt, so that is why we are sitting in the garden of Largerfield Bar and Beer Garden, up against the glass, watching the lights of the city sparkle away.

  “So what happened exactly? You told him that you both need to concentrate on work and he basically blew you off?”

  “Something like that. I just … I really thought he would understand and say at least he would be willing to wait before we really started something, well, something more than office fucking. I feel like such a fool.”

  “No honey, you are not a fool, you did what you thought was right. We know you, we know your ironclad work ethic, so we understand and you were right to hope, no, expect him to respect that and in turn respect you. He’s the fool, not you.

  “I agree, Lexi. You did the right thing for both of you. You were thinking with your big head, and he wasn’t, obviously. You deserve better. Like that tall glass of yumminess checking you out at the doorway. Now he looks like the respecting type. Enough respect to make a woman come first.”

  “Umm, thanks, but not tonight, Mel.”

  “Hey, a little harmless flirting will perk you up faster than that Cosmo in your hand. Just saying.”

  Zali and Mel give Mr. Yumminess at the doorway and his three mates a couple of sly smiles, which of course have them walking over within a minute flat and joining our little group for more cocktails and beer.

  “Hey sweetie. Your girl is giving off some pretty sad vibes. Is everything okay in your world?” Aww how sweet. Some dicks are nice.

  “Just had a bad day, handsome, that’s all.”

  “Well if we play our cards right, I could get my guy to make things better by morning. Unless she just needs a good cry and sleep to get her out of her funk. I don’t want to cross a line or anything here.”

  “Thanks for the offer, but tonight’s not a good one for us. But thanks for being sweet.” My girl is in no shape for a one nighter at the moment and I have to agree, neither am I.

  “Oh come on, Lexi is so in need of a good shag, something to fuck away her funk is definitely called for. Nothing better than the endorphins of an amazing O to wash away the sads. That’s why so many single people hook up at a wedding. All those lonely people wishing it was them that had found true love, mixed with free booze, creates a wonderful shagfest.” Mel can have all those type of hook-ups thanks, we’ll pass.

  “The way my guy just moved closer to your Lexi chick indicates he is about to try and pick her up. If you want me to back him off, please just say so, sweetie.” As I said, some dicks are sweet, and some can be sour, but now’s not the time to pay any attention to my tastebuds’ memories.

  “Aww, see, all dicks are not dicks all the time. You are so sweet. If Lexi is up for at least some harmless flirting, send your man my way.” Yep, Mel is not fussy at all.

  Lexi smiles at Mr. Yumminess but it’s not her true flirty one. But I feel her wondering if this man is any better than Lane or will he also turn out to only be attracted to the thrill of something new and then move on. He places an arm around Alexis’s shoulder and she doesn’t shrug it off. She just sits quietly listening to the chatter around her.

  “Hun, are you and your girl okay? I can feel Zali worried about her. She was hoping the man candy might at least distract her, but it’s obviously not working.”

  “She’s not doing so well. I think we should call it a night actually. She needs time to think and let today sink in. Then we need to find a way to move forward. I just … I just wish my Eight was here.”

  “Oh babe, I’m so sorry. If it’s meant to be it will all work out. Don’t lose hope just yet.”

  Alexis announces she is going to hop on a tram and head home. After saying our goodbyes, we are surprised that Mr. Yumminess says he will walk us to the tram stop to keep us safe. We are even more surprised when he grabs Alexis’s hand as they stroll down towards her stop. When she turns to say thanks and goodbye, we are stunned silent when he leans in and places a soft sweet kiss to the corner of her lips.

  “I know that just cheered my night up, I hope it cheers yours up also, if even just a little bit. Night, Lexi, it was lovely to meet you.”

  Aww, what a nice man. Maybe we should have got his number, just for future references of course. The ride home is a blur as my girl’s emotions start to catch up with her. Once inside the door of our apartment, she heads straight to our bedroom, strips off, gets under the covers and lets go. All of her insecurities come crashing down at once. Her worst fear was realised today as Lane did nothing but turn his back on her.

  If only she knew that he was about to tell her he loved her. Bad timing fucking sucks!

  Lane, where the hell are we going? Lane, Lane! For the love of God Lane, slow down, where the hell are you going? We need to go back, we’ve been gone an hour, Lane, we have work to do. Lexi is going to worry. You’re taking me away from my girl, Lane, now fucking stop and go back to the office this instant!

  “I spend all this time, showing her the real me, letting her in, we spend a weekend at the one place in the world that no one but me has been to in years; and now, she just tosses it all back in my face. Did none of it mean anything to her?”

  Lane, get your arse back to that office now, stop being a complete punk and moping over the situation. I think you have it wrong, get back there and fix this. In that office are the women we love, the woman who, for the first time since Miss Queen Bitch, managed to chip her way through that iced block and deep into your heart. So get back there and talk to her, Goddamn it.

  “Fuck it, I’m over it! I’m done, finished; file this under ‘O’ for over. I only agreed to that insane idea to save face, not just for me, but for her, and what do I get a face full of? Rejection and nothing more. Damn it, I could cry right now, this is so fucked up.”

  Lane, are you going to listen to me? Lane. Lane!

  

  Bro, you’ve got to slow down, you’re going to crash and burn if you keep up this pace. Oh for crying out loud, at least use a glass for pity’s sake. Oh Hot Lips, I wish you were here baby, this is too much for me to deal with on my own. Lexi has shattered him with a single sentence! Damn it, baby, I need you so badly right now.

  Lane, lie down, stop, cease and desist. Put the bottle down and go to bed, please for the love of God just stop. Damn it Lane, I love you, man, but you are seriously testing the limit here, there are only so many times I can wake up to the daily sting of the night before, before it becomes too much. Or causes internal damage down my shaft.

  Oh why do I even bother now? You stopped listening ages ago and now, well, Lexi and you weren’t even officially in a relationship and here you are, falling apart at the first damned hurdle. I’d hate to see what’d happen if you two had had kids.

  Can you at least call the boys and drunkenly pour out everything before you get to the third bottle?

/>   “I … I uh, I call need to Bookend phone.”

  Okay, so you’re pissed already, not good, but you’re thinking … I think. At least you can have someone here that isn’t so far into the wind that they’re passing Mary Poppins on the inside lane. Just call Benji and Booker and get them over here, now Lane.

  “Benji, Benji. Fucked Benji. Everything, nothing right all gone fucked.”

  “Lane, what’s wrong, do you need me there, mate?”

  “Fucked Benji, all fucked.”

  “I’ll be there in ten bro, and I’m bringing Booker.”

  Lane, I would say it will all be okay, but that is only going to happen if you actually turn round and fight for the women we love. Yes we. I know you love Lexi, you fell almost the moment you saw her, all that bullshit coldness was fear, childish, fear. All pushed forwards by that witch that broke your heart, only yours, not mine. I never liked her, she smelled wrong, very wrong. And her muff, well, she was caustic; every time I was with her I was surprised I came back whole.

  But now, now we need to get the boys in and you, you need to get your head out your arse and make a move to get our girls back. Ah shit, you’ve passed out. Well, I ain’t going to piss your pants, no matter how relaxed you’re getting. Don’t need to make you any worse emotionally than you already are.

  

  “Damn Bookend, take a look at this drunk bugger.”

  “Good thing the dull git left us both spare keys to this place. Guess it’s his old man’s prepper nature, most squaddies are like that. But still, shit, Laneway, look at you, your folks would be mortified. Fuck, I’m mortified. Get your arse up.”

  “Fucked, all fucked, tried to say. I tried to say.”

  “Balls, he’s on a bloody loop. Benji, put the coffee machine on, we need this dickhead sober enough to talk us through what the hell has happened. I don’t think he can be without adult supervision at the moment.”

  “Yeah, no shit. Ain’t seen him this bad since … well …”

  “Yup.”