April Fools

by Mari Carr

  Asher couldn’t agree with that. Because he believed Fiona this time. He was genuinely convinced Brock was history.

  He recalled her face the last time they’d split. He and Owen had been kicked back at his place, watching a preseason game between the Ravens and the Saints when she’d shown up. Unlike after the previous breakups, she wasn’t crying. Instead, she was pissed. She’d plopped down on the couch between them and sworn off Brock forever, promising the next guy she slept with was going to be the right one, the last one.

  Then she’d calmed down, helped herself to a beer and kicked her feet up on the coffee table. She’d quietly murmured something about wishing she could find a guy like them, before settling in to watch the game.

  Fiona got her love of sports from her family. She may not have grown up in Baltimore, but there seemed to be some sort of instilled devotion to the local teams passed down through the genes. She’d cussed the refs up one side and down the other every time they made a call against the Ravens.

  While the game may have distracted Fiona, Asher couldn’t stop thinking about turning toward her, gripping the back of her head and pulling her toward him for a kiss. It was the first moment he realized he wasn’t in love with Christina.

  Brock had been waiting at her place after the game, her entire apartment lit with hundreds of candles, a rose-petal path leading to the bedroom, and Eric F-ing Hutchinson—apparently a personal friend of Brock’s—playing the guitar and singing “Breakdown More” to her. Big Gesture Number 487.

  “Shit,” Asher murmured, trying to knock the thought out of his head. The alcohol was impairing his better judgment. “Teddy’s right. We’re pathetic.”

  Owen nodded. “So here’s the plan. There are only three women in the place worth braving that dance floor with. We’ll take turns dancing with Fiona and her cousins. It looks like Yvonne’s on a break and Sunnie just came back out of the kitchen.”

  “Good call,” Asher said, standing up and weaving his way through several tables until he could reach out for Yvonne’s hand. Fiona’s cousin laughed as she tugged off her apron and jumped right into “Baby Got Back.” Yvonne appeared to know every single word, and he laughed as she rapped all the lyrics to him. The Collins women shared the same infectious sense of humor.

  He looked over to see Owen had grabbed Fiona on her way back from the bathroom, and she was treating Owen to the same silly concert. Teddy and the bonbon were skirting the lines of public indecency with their bump and grind, and Asher chuckled when he caught a glimpse of Tris’s face, his eyebrows raised so high they nearly touched his hairline.

  When the song changed, Owen handed Fiona off to him, pulling Sunnie away from the bar as Yvonne went back to work. Asher had gotten the better—or worse—end of the deal as a slow song came on.

  Fiona stepped into his arms as if it were the most natural thing in the world. It probably was. Over the years, the two of them had shared countless dances at friends’ weddings, after-parties, birthday celebrations.

  “I love this song,” she said as she placed her head against his chest. The lead singer was doing a pretty decent job with Ed Sheeran’s “Perfect”.

  Fiona fit him perfectly. Her five-foot-six frame snuggled in just right against his six-one. Owen had him by an inch at six-two, and while it wasn’t much, it meant he had a longer distance to travel to reach Fiona’s plump, rosy lips.

  Dammit. Again with the kissing.

  “You really believe me?” Fiona asked.

  “Yeah. I do.”

  She continued talking, her head still pressed against his chest. “His career will always come first, and as amazing as those big gestures were…they never lasted. It was this burst of closeness followed by months of distance—physically and emotionally. We never seemed to master the everyday routine of just enjoying each other’s company. He was always too busy or away. And I know it sounds stupid, but I want that nothing-special day that’s perfect because I’m with the person I love.”

  “You deserve to be someone’s number one. Not just their close second.”

  Asher wasn’t sure who moved first, but he looked down at the same time she tilted her head up. His nose brushed hers, they were so close, and she giggled. He didn’t, so her quiet laugher died, her eyes going from amused to aroused in a single blink. Neither of them moved and for a moment, he got the strong sense that she wanted him to kiss her.

  He could feel her hot breath on his face, the light scent of the beer they’d both been drinking, in the air between them. She licked her lips, drawing his attention to them.

  Was that an invitation?

  “Fee,” he whispered.

  The sound of her name on his lips seemed to break the spell, and they both moved back a few inches. Fiona gave him a sweet, guilty grin that made him wonder if she felt more than she was letting on. He glanced across the floor and saw Owen staring at them.

  Owen was in love with her too. He and his best friend had it bad for the same girl. It was the unsolvable predicament.

  Fiona, unruffled, put her head back against his chest and their slow swaying resumed. He tightened his hold as regret washed through him. Regret over the missed kiss. Suddenly it felt like things were about to take a turn, no matter how hard they tried to stick to the straight and narrow, to the tried and true. Asher wanted her so badly, it was a genuine physical pain.

  The song was over too soon, and Owen came to steal her away. Asher needed a break so he returned to their booth, taking a long chug of Guinness. Maybe the beer would mute some of the shit rumbling around inside him.

  He watched Owen and Fiona laugh as he spun her around. Damn woman loved to twirl around. It was impossible to be with her and not have fun. She was crazy, and she was making him the same.

  “You going to let Owen slide in there without making an effort?” Teddy asked, slipping into the booth.

  Asher looked around. “Where’s the bonbon?”

  Teddy crinkled his nose. “Pretty to look at, but dumb as owl shit. Was afraid I’d have to teach him how to unzip a zipper. Ain’t nobody got time for that. Answer my question.”

  “There’s too much to lose, Teddy. Him. Her. Us.”

  Teddy rolled his eyes so far back, Asher wondered if the gesture hurt. “Jesus, you wear me out. Show her Biggus Dickus and it’s game over. You win.”

  Asher laughed, even as he shook his head. “My dick isn’t that big, and that joke is as old as you trying to recruit me to your team.”

  “Biggus Dickus is why I’m trying to recruit you.”

  “I’m being serious here, man.”

  “So am I. I love Fiona more than my leather harness—and you know how I feel about that harness—and since I don’t want to have sex with her and get married and make babies, I think she should be with you.” Then he hesitantly added, “Or Owen.”

  “Which one of us?” Asher asked.

  “I don’t know. You’d both be great with her.”

  Asher nodded slowly. “Pretend you have to choose. Which one of us?”

  Teddy frowned, glancing from Asher to Owen and back again. “I don’t wanna choose.”

  Looking toward the dance floor, Asher watched Owen and Fiona attempting to “Wobble.”

  “So how do you expect us to ask Fiona to?” Asher asked.

  “Fine. Be reasonable and responsible…as always. Or…throw caution to the wind. Did you ever consider Fiona might only be into you? After all, she and Owen already tried dating and he belly flopped…big time.”

  Asher took a swig of beer, studying the way Fiona looked at Owen, who was seriously fucking up the dance. It was similar to the expression she’d just flashed his way when he’d thought she wanted him to kiss her.

  “Do you really think that’s true?” Asher asked, even though he knew it wasn’t. “That she doesn’t still have feelings for him?”

  “No. It’s pretty obvious she loves both of you.”

  Asher’s gaze flew to Teddy. “Did she say that?”

  Teddy
shook his head. “She didn’t have to. I know that girl. She’s been crazy about both of you for a long time. But she’s just as stubborn and stupid as you are.”

  Asher sighed and leaned back in the booth, watching Owen and Fiona dance. For a second, he considered going out on the floor and joining them, basking in the fun that never ran dry when all of them were together.

  “Hey,” Teddy perked up. “I got it.”

  “Got what?”

  “Your answer. Ménage.”

  Asher laughed. “How drunk are you?”

  “Very. But that doesn’t mean it’s not a stellar idea.”

  Asher rolled his eyes. “Threesomes aren’t really considered normal.”

  Teddy finished his beer. “No one in the world is normal. Not one single person. Hey, aren’t those uncles we just met living in a committed threesome?”

  Asher nodded. “Killian and Justin. Yeah. She’s got another uncle, Sean, who’s living with two partners too.”

  Teddy considered that for a second. “You know, the Collins family might be the closest to normal I’ve ever met. They’re not paralyzed by their hang-ups, and they don’t hide their flaws and kinks and crazy in the closet like the rest of us do. They own it. Embrace it.”

  Before Asher could reply to that, Owen and Fiona returned to the table. Teddy slid over to let Owen in and Fiona claimed the spot next to him.

  “Where’s the Bulgarian dude?” Owen asked Teddy.

  “Had the IQ of a wet tea bag. Only capable of talking about himself, his hair and himself. In that order and on repeat.”

  Fiona grinned. “You told me once, everyone looks the same in the dark.”

  “It wasn’t the looks that were the problem. It was the noise. Short of gouging my eardrums, I couldn’t block out his stupid. It just kept spewing all over the table and polluting the air around us.”

  “Great imagery,” Asher muttered.

  “I’m a writer,” Teddy replied with a wink.

  “Did you finish my beer?” Fiona reached across the table for her empty mug.

  “Oops.” Teddy gestured toward the table he’d shared with his date. “Left mine over there.”

  “So it’s back to Tinder?” she asked.

  “Oh yeah. That was only strike one.”

  Tris stopped by the table with another pitcher and a clean mug for Teddy. Asher swore the guy was the greatest bartender on the planet. Nothing got by him. Then he tried not to groan as he considered drinking more beer.

  “Someone wants to say hi,” Tris said.

  They had all been so preoccupied by the dancing, they hadn’t seen Fiona’s grandfather come in. Asher smiled when he saw the old guy walking toward them. Fee’s Pop Pop was well over ninety, but no one would ever think of him as elderly. In fact, Asher imagined that in his day, he’d been every bit as intimidating as his son, Tris.

  He sat up straighter as Fiona’s grandfather smiled down at them, and Tris took over the introductions. “Pop, you remember Fiona’s friends Asher and Owen, right?”

  “Sure do,” he said with a smile.

  “And this is Teddy, the only one you’ve never met.”

  “Patrick Collins,” he said, reaching out to shake his hand. “Fiona’s told us so much about you, Teddy. Nice to finally meet you.”

  Asher expected Teddy to be his usual overly gregarious self, so he was surprised when his friend simply reached out and shook Patrick’s hand, the picture of reverence and politeness.

  “You too, Mr. Collins. Fee thinks the world of you.”

  Mr. Collins smiled and shook his head. “None of that Mr. Collins stuff. We’re in the pub. In the pub, I’m Pat.”

  They chatted for a few minutes and then Patrick returned to his usual spot at the bar, surrounded by a group of men Fiona called his cronies. She filled their glasses once more from pitcher number…Asher didn’t have a clue. Eight? Nine? Thirty-seven?

  He was definitely skirting the line between wasted and drunk, which was the only explanation he had for almost kissing Fee on the dance floor. A sober Asher would have shown restraint.

  They spent the next half hour discussing party plans, including what signature cocktail they could serve to match the theme. There were solid arguments made for both the Screaming Orgasm and Party Naked, until Asher pulled out his cell and found a recipe for an actual cocktail called Anything Goes that sounded pretty good. He’d tried to hang in there on the conversation, but too many times his thoughts had drifted back to Teddy’s suggestion—the word threesome rolling round and round in his mind.

  He dismissed it. For one thing, he was certain Fiona would never go for it. Well, he was pretty sure. Or…

  Finally, he had to admit she probably wouldn’t blink twice at the suggestion.

  The problem was Owen…and him. Having a ménage sounded good in theory, but in practice? Asher wasn’t sure he had it in him to share, but there was also very little he wouldn’t do to protect his friendship with Owen…hell, with everyone at this table.

  Fiona was the first to cry uncle. “We better go to bed and sleep this off or we’re never gonna get any work done in the morning.”

  Owen winced. “By morning, you mean…one? Two o’clock in the afternoon, right?”

  “I vote for waking up natural,” Teddy said. “Everyone text when you wake up and when the last man standing gets out of bed, we’ll reconvene here at the pub.”

  Asher shook his head. “No deal. We’re working in the hotel suite. None of us is capable of self-control in a bar.”

  “Damn,” Teddy muttered to Owen. “Thought I could slip that in unnoticed.”

  “We are on vacation,” Fiona pointed out with a mischievous grin.

  Owen laughed. “No worries. There’s a minibar in the room.”

  Asher knew they were just jerking his chain, but he played his part, giving all of them the expected disapproving scowl.

  As they rose, Owen and Teddy gave Fiona a hug and headed toward the door. He held back for a second.

  “Thanks for the dance, Ash.” She wrapped her arms around his waist and squeezed tightly. She was about to let go when the alcohol took over.

  He reached around her shoulders, tugging her back against him and placing a kiss on the top of her head. She looked up at him with a confused expression and before he could think better of it, he leaned down and touched his lips to hers.

  He wouldn’t even call it a kiss because the second they touched, his brain engaged again and he pulled back.

  Fiona didn’t look shocked or appalled or even amused.

  Instead, she tilted her head, and in that coy, adorable way she had, she said, “Little longer next time,” before she turned away and walked toward the stairs to the Collins Dorm.

  Owen and Teddy were both shaking their heads when he approached them, but he was in no mood for their teasing.

  “Not. One. Word,” he said through gritted teeth as he pushed between them and then the doorway to the sidewalk.

  His friends followed. And for the first time in their lives, they actually did what he said.

  4

  Fiona considered Asher’s attempt at a kiss the whole way up the stairs.

  What the hell was that?

  What was messing with her even more was Owen on the dance floor. They’d danced together a thousand times, but tonight’s dancing was something more, something hotter.

  Once, when she turned around to mimic the bump and grind Teddy and his bonbon were doing next to them, she’d been shocked to realize Owen was sporting a serious erection. She started to move away, not wanting to make the situation awkward, but Owen grabbed her hips and suddenly the joke was on her as he pressed closer. Was he letting her know without words that what she’d felt was for her?

  The whole night had been one what-the-fuck after another. And it had all started with her announcement that she’d dumped Brock.

  Sunnie was hanging out with Colm and Lochlan when she got upstairs. Fiona lived alone in California, so she wasn’t used to
having people around all the time.

  Sunnie took one look at her face and patted the spot on the couch next to her. “Uh-oh. What happened?”

  “How do you know something happened?” she asked as she sat next to her cousin.

  “Because when I left an hour ago, you were drunk as a skunk and laughing your ass off on the dance floor. Now you look like you’ve lost your best friend. Did you get into a fight with one of the guys?”

  “Which guy?” Lochlan asked immediately.

  Fiona hadn’t needed to grow up here to still find herself enveloped in the protective arms of her male cousins, most notably Tris and Lane’s twins, Padraig and Colm, and her oldest male cousin, Lochlan.

  Lochlan was very much like his dad, Uncle Will. To outsiders, he appeared serious and stern and scary, but underneath the gruff exterior, there was a born warrior wrapped in pure marshmallow, the type of guy a girl definitely wanted at her back because he’d make her feel safe and adored and cared for all at the same time.

  It was times like this when she understood Ailis’s desire to live in Baltimore, to always be under this blanket of love and protection.

  Although, when she considered it, she’d caught glimpses of that same warrior in Asher from time to time.

  “I sort of wish we had gotten into a fight,” she muttered. “That would be easier to understand.”

  Lochlan’s scowl faded. “What do you mean?”

  “I think my best friends have lost their minds.”

  Colm snickered. “I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, Fee, but are you sure Teddy has ever been sane? Dad was telling me some of the things he was saying to him and—”

  She laughed. “He was the only person who was acting sane. Well…like his usual self tonight. Owen and Asher…”

  “What about them?” Sunnie prompted.

  “I told them I broke up with Brock on Valentine’s Day—”

  Sunnie interrupted. “You broke up with Brock? Six weeks ago? And we’re only just hearing about it?”

  Fiona was usually shit at keeping secrets, but she’d definitely held on to this one. Not only had she resisted telling her best friends, she hadn’t spilled the beans to her family, either. Not even to her sister…and she told Ailis everything. “I wanted to be sure it would stick.”