Without

by E. E. Borton

  A moment later Perry returned to the kitchen with Doc. A few seconds later a woman walked in behind them. She had a fresh scar extending from the corner of her eye to her jaw. It did nothing to take away from her stunning features. She was breathtaking. When she put a bag as big as the one Doc was carrying on the ground, she pulled at a wisp of her jet black hair, trying to cover the scar. I felt a ping of anger, knowing a coward put it there.

  “Christ, son,” said Doc. “What’d the other guy look like?”

  “They got the worst of it,” I said, forcing a smile, thinking about the fourteen-year-old girl I killed.

  “Good,” said Doc. “Is there a room where we can make a mess?”

  “Yes, sir,” said Perry. “Let’s go upstairs.”

  “Damn my manners,” said Doc. “This is Kelly. She’s gonna be helping us out. She’s the best nurse in the state. You’re in good hands with this one.”

  Kelly smiled. I couldn’t take my eyes off of her. River was right. It was a good day.

  Chapter 37

  First Date

  I stood in a corner and watched them prepare the room for my surgery. (They put small tarps of plastic over a chair and the bed.) I was looking forward to getting rid of the pain in my arm and face. All of the gunshot wounds were infected, but the only one shooting lightning bolts was the lead in my cheek. I was ready to get that thing out of me.

  When Uncle Perry left the room after talking to Doc, he came back a minute later with a bottle of whiskey. Without saying a word he unscrewed the cap, handing it to me. I wasn’t naïve. This was gonna hurt.

  “Come sit down over here and start hittin’ that bottle,” said Doc.

  I complied as he began his assessment. Kelly was leaning over his shoulder as he prioritized my injuries. She then opened both the large bags, taking out the supplies they’d need for each procedure, laying them out on the bed. It was a lot of stuff.

  “I’m going to give you a local anesthetic for the bullet in your face,” said Doc. “We’re going to start there. It’ll probably feel better once I lance it, but then it’s going to get painful when I have to dig it out. There’s quite a bit of swollen tissue and infection around it. Once I get it out, that’s going to be it for the anesthetic. I’m sorry about that, but we’re running mighty low on that stuff. So drink up, son. That’s how the cowboys did it.”

  “I appreciate you giving it to me straight, Doc,” I said, taking a long pull off the bottle.

  “After your face, I’m going to reduce that arm. That means I gotta yank on it to realign the bones. We’re going to have to secure it to the arm of the chair. Then your uncle and Kelly are going to sit on you so you don’t come out of it. That’s probably going to be the worst of it. I can feel the rest of the birdshot pellets just under your skin in the other wounds. It’ll burn a bit pulling them out, but not as bad as that arm. The last thing will be stitching up that gash under your right eye. You getting all this?”

  “Yes, sir.”

  “Good. Let’s get started.”

  Doc drew a syringe to numb my face. The needle prick wasn’t bad until he started rolling it around, spreading the anesthetic. After a few seconds I couldn’t feel a thing but the pressure of the swelling.

  Kelly handed him a scalpel and he lanced the wound. It was fantastic. The pressure instantly disappeared. The euphoria disappeared just as fast when I caught a whiff of the infected material that was running down my neck. I was only a few hours away from gangrene. There’s no doubt in my mind it would’ve killed me.

  A minute later I heard the lead pellet hit the stainless steel pan. I exhaled. The damn thing was out of me.

  “I’m going to leave this open until I finish the other procedures,” said Doc. “I bet that felt good, huh?”

  “Very,” I replied. “Thanks, Doc.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. You’re going to hate my guts in a few minutes. Take another couple slugs of that anesthesia. I’ll be right back.”

  Doc walked out of the room with Perry behind him. Kelly was hovering over my face with gauze, sopping up the mess that was coming out of me. It was a helluva first date.

  “Looks like I’m going to win,” I said, starting to feel the effects of the booze.

  “Win what?” asked Kelly, cocking her head.

  “The scar race,” I said. “I’m going to have a matching set on my face.”

  There were many moments in my life when I knew I had just screwed up by saying something stupid. I was now having one of those moments. All I could do was smile like an idiot.

  “He’s very good,” replied Kelly. “Your scarring will be minimal. This lovely thing on my face I had to do myself.”

  Just shut up, moron. Don’t say another word.

  “I think you did a great job,” I said, ignoring myself. “You’re gorgeous.”

  Shut the fuck up!

  “You’re drunk,” said Kelly. “A few more sips of that and you’ll be hitting on Doc. You should stop talking now. You’re going to need your strength.”

  With perfect timing, Doc and Perry entered the room. They wasted no time securing my arm to the chair. Before I could say anything else stupid, he grabbed my wrist and yanked. I bit through my lip. The pain was more intense than when I broke it.

  Perry was sitting on my legs with his hands pressed into my shoulders. Kelly was leaning across my other arm, preventing me from punching anyone within range. Feeling the room start to spin, I threw up on Perry. I threw up all over Perry.

  I did my best not to puke in his face, but there was little I could do with him pinning me down. He had an unusual frown and was staring at me with twitching eyes. I thought he was going to choke the life out of me. Yep, this was one helluva first date.

  “I’m so sorry, Uncle,” I said, exhaling. The sharp pain of the reduction was replaced with more manageable throbbing. “I couldn’t stop it.”

  “We’ll talk about this later,” replied Perry. “Doc, are you gonna be needing me for anything else?”

  “Nope,” said Doc. “I think you’ve done your part here. I appreciate your help. This arm is going to set just fine.”

  “I’m so glad to hear that,” said Perry, dismounting, pulling his shirt away from his chest.

  “Uncle, I –”

  “You should stop talking now,” said Perry, cutting me off.

  “I told you,” said Kelly, grinning.

  “The worst is over, son,” said Doc. “That was his best whiskey, though.”

  I took everyone’s advice and I stopped talking. For the next thirty minutes, Doc proceeded to pull the rest of the lead out of me. With every ping in the steel pan, I knew I was getting closer to recovery and further away from death. Two hours later he sewed the last stitch under my right eye.

  “All right,” said Doc, standing to stretch. “That’s it. I’m going to leave you a round of antibiotics to kill that infection. Even if you feel better, keep taking them until they’re gone. I wish I could leave you something for the pain, but we’re running low on that as well. I suggest you drink your uncle’s cheap stuff.”

  “I have antibiotics and pain pills, Doc,” I said, being helped into the bed. “I don’t want to take from your supply.”

  “That’s okay,” replied Doc. “Take what you have for the pain, but you keep those antibiotics. We have plenty of that. Try to get some rest. I’ll come by later tonight to check up on you.”

  “I don’t hate you,” I said. “Thank you for everything. I owe you my life.”

  “Glad I could help, son. Now get some rest.”

  I took two pain pills, hoping they would knock me out. It worked. When I awoke it was dark in my room. When I stirred, an oil lamp was lit. As the warm light filled the room, I was happy to see the face sitting next to my bed. Then I remembered.

  “I have a lot of people to apologize to, don’t I?”

  “Really, just your uncle,” said Kelly. “He got the worst of it.”

  “Did I get you, too?” I asked, ho
rrified.

  “You pretty much sprayed everything in the room.”

  “Kelly, I’m sorry. I can’t remember the last time I drank that much whiskey in one sitting.”

  “No need to apologize to me,” said Kelly, starting a wide smile. “The look on your uncle’s face after you…” She lowered her head, laughing. “It was priceless. Oh, my God, that was funny.”

  “Glad I could entertain you,” I said, joining in the laughter. I think it had been a long time since either one of us has laughed that hard. I didn’t care that it hurt.

  “How are you feeling?” asked Kelly, recovering.

  “Minus the hangover and the throbbing arm, I feel better.”

  “I told you Doc was good.”

  “I do have to apologize for what I said to you. Again, I blame it on the booze.”

  “So you don’t think I’m gorgeous?”

  Wow. Was I really doing it again?

  “No, that word is inadequate,” I said. “Kelly, you have one of the most beautiful faces I’ve ever seen.”

  “You’re a little more eloquent when you’re not drunk,” said Kelly, leaning over me to check my dressings. “Thank you. That was sweet.”

  “How long was I out?” I asked, trying to leave on a win.

  “Twelve hours,” said Kelly, moving back to her chair. “Who’s Sam?”

  My heart dropped into my stomach.

  “Why…why do you ask?” I said, fumbling.

  “You called out to her a few times. Then you started talking to her. You kept telling her you were sorry.”

  I turned my eyes away from her, choosing the ceiling instead. I wished that I were still drunk. I didn’t know what to say.

  “And now I’m sorry for asking,” said Kelly. “I should go now. You need to get some more rest. Your dressings look good.” She stood up from the chair, reaching down for her bag.

  “She’s someone very important to me,” I said, wanting her to stay. “She was killed a few years ago. I left her to go get the car so we could take a mugging victim to the hospital. When I came back forty-five minutes later, I found her. There was nothing I could do. They murdered my Sam.”

  Kelly lowered her head again, but this time we weren’t laughing. That ship had sailed. This new world didn’t let anyone laugh for long.

  “I was walking home from the hospital when I was attacked,” said Kelly, raising her head. “It was dark and I never saw their faces. There were at least four of them waiting for me outside of my house. I live alone on ten acres, so nobody heard me fighting them. When they finished one of them pulled a knife and gave me this. It was right after I gouged his neck with my fingernails.”

  “I was ambushed a few days ago,” I said. “That’s where I got most of this. I was able to fight them off, but one of the shooters was a young girl. It was dark.”

  “Did you –”

  “Yes, but I didn’t know.”

  “If you had known, would the outcome have been the same?”

  “Funny you should ask,” I said. “I thought about that afterwards. My answer was yes, the outcome would’ve been the same.”

  “That’s an honest answer,” said Kelly. “It seems we’re both wearing our scars on the inside and out.”

  “Were they caught, the men that attacked you?”

  “No,” said Kelly. “But I’m sure they’re from around here. They knew me. I just wish I could’ve identified at least one of them, but they were wearing camouflaged masks. You know, the kind hunters use.”

  “Do you think they’re still around?”

  “I do and so does Doc. Some of the locals decided to stay in the mountains instead of coming down to Stevenson with the rest of us. After I stitched my face I walked down, and I haven’t been home since. I’m sure there’s nothing left of it. They come down every once in a while, causing trouble trying to steal from us.”

  “You’re able to keep them out?”

  “When you have men protecting you like your uncle and cousin, you tend not to worry about too many things. They’re quite a team.”

  “No doubt in my mind,” I said. “My father, his brother, was the same way. They’re good men with big hearts.”

  “And I’m sure you’re no different.”

  “Kelly, I got drunk and threw up on you an hour after we met.”

  “Every girl’s dream.”

  Chapter 38

  (Day 32)

  Falling Up

  I woke up to sunlight beaming through my window. A smile crept over my face as I turned my head toward the chair. As if a cruel joke had been played, my expectation of seeing the face of an angel was replaced with the face of Uncle Perry. For a man in his mid-sixties, he looked good, but he was no Kelly.

  “Well, good morning, buttercup,” greeted Perry, grinning. “Did you sleep well?”

  “I did. Uncle Perry, I can’t tell you how sorry –”

  “Oh, shut up,” replied Perry, standing. “Doc said to get you on your feet as soon as possible. Well, it’s as soon as possible. Donna’s cooked up the rest of that bacon for you, so let’s get moving. I figured that would help motivate you out of bed.”

  “Good call, Uncle.”

  I flexed the fingers on my broken arm. It ached but felt much better. The only sharp pain I experienced was when I sat up in bed, feeling the effects of the pellet removal from my rib. Leaning down beside me, Perry reached under my good arm to help me stand. Most of the pain in my ankle was gone as well. As I passed the mirror in the bedroom, I chuckled. My face looked like I went ten rounds with the world champ. I was looking forward to the day that I’d recognize myself again.

  It still took a while to get me cleaned up and down the stairs, but as I looked around the beautiful home, I couldn’t remember the last time I felt so good – so welcome. My survival philosophy of putting distance between myself and others was wearing thin. Even though it damn near killed me, making the decision to look for my uncle did more than just save my life. In less than twenty-four hours, it made that life worth living.

  I had slept through the usual breakfast time for the family, finding only Donna sitting at the table. Greeting me with another warm smile, she stood, offering me her chair as she made my plate. She was glowing.

  Perry didn’t let me go until he was satisfied I was secure in my seat. He turned away from me, walking up behind his wife, wrapping his arms around her waist. Kissing her cheek, I could hear him whisper that he loved her and her cooking. He then came back to me, stood behind me and put his hands on my shoulders.

  “It’s good to have you here, son,” said Perry, leaning down to the side of my face. “You take it easy today. I’ve got some errands to run, but I’ll be home early. Doc may come by in a bit to see how you’re doing. I don’t want you lifting a finger. You just get yourself stronger, okay?”

  “Can I ask you a question?” I said.

  “Sure.”

  “You told Joey you knew I’d make it,” I said. “How did you know I was coming here? I mean, I haven’t talked to you guys in years. How did you know?”

  “Well, I’m pretty sure we’re the only family you’ve got left,” said Perry, squeezing my shoulders. “Where else would you go?”

  It was that simple for him. It wasn’t for me, but I was learning.

  “I told him you were probably married with a family of your own,” said Donna, setting down the plate in front of me. “A sweet, good looking man like you doesn’t stay single for long in the big city. Well, good looking once the swelling goes down.”

  “Thank you,” I said, laughing. “I’m still having problems with mirrors.”

  “Oh, you’ll get that pretty face back in no time,” said Perry, patting the top of my head. “You’ll need it going after her.”

  I almost choked on my bacon.

  “Who?” said Donna, squealing. “Kelly? It has to be her, right?”

  “Honey, you should’ve seen his face light up when she walked into the room,” said Perry. “Even through
all that mess, I could see it in his swollen, black eyes.”

  “Oh, I love that girl,” said Donna. “Terrible what those animals did to her, but you know what? She never let it slow her down. That’s one very strong woman.”

  “And she’s sweet on him, too,” said Perry. “She stayed in that chair all night, right beside his bed. She tried to play it off and say that Doc told her to stay, but he didn’t. I know ‘cause I asked.”

  “Do you two need me here for this?” I said. “Look at me. Not to mention I threw up on her.”

  “You threw up on everybody,” said Perry.

  “I told you I was –”

  “Come on now, boy. Are you sitting there trying to tell me you don’t have a thing for her? But I have to tell you, it ain’t going to be easy. Boys have been chasing that girl since her family moved back here when she was thirteen. Hell, even Joey had a crush on her in high school.”

  “I think they’d be perfect for each other,” said Donna.

  “I feel like I’m in high school,” I said.

  “Just don’t push,” said Perry. “The ladies don’t like it when you push. I know that, too. Donna damn near gave me my walking papers when I did.”

  “You were a bit overwhelming in your courting, dear,” said Donna.

  “Is this really happening?” I said, lowering my head.

  “Eat your bacon, Romeo,” said Perry. “I’ve gotta run. If I see Kelly, I’ll tell her you were asking about her.”

  He laughed at himself down the hall and out the front door.

  “He’s just teasing you,” said Donna. “He won’t say anything.”

  “Why do I have the feeling you’re not telling me the truth?”

  “Because I’m not.”

  I spent the rest of the morning with Donna at the kitchen table. We had coffee and talked about everything under the sun. There were a few points during our conversation when she wasn’t smiling or laughing. Like I said, this new world doesn’t let anyone laugh for long.