Without

by E. E. Borton

  “He moved to Buffalo about ten years ago,” said Donna, speaking of her other son, Conrad.

  “Found the girl and job of his dreams, had two beautiful baby girls, and then didn’t have much time for dear old mom and dad. They’d visit us every other Christmas, but mostly Perry and I would head up there to visit my baby. I think about them every day.”

  “I’m sorry, Donna,” I said. “I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you and Perry. Not knowing.”

  “It is,” said Donna. “It’s harder on Perry, though. He’s very close to his boys. We talk about Conrad every night before we fall asleep. He tries to dream up ways to get to them and bring them home, but I have to remind him that this isn’t their home anymore, you know. I’m sure Conrad’s fine, doing the same things up there as we’re doing down here. I know it’s why Perry is so happy you made it.”

  “Really? Why’s that?”

  “Now, don’t take this the wrong way,” said Donna, reaching over the table for my hand. “Nobody could ever replace our boy, but having you here means the world to him. He was telling me last night that he was so proud of you for going through everything you did to come here and be with us.”

  “Donna, don’t take this wrong, but coming here wasn’t part of my plan,” I said, not wanting to lie to her. “It wasn’t part of my plan until a few days ago.”

  “It doesn’t matter when you decided, it matters that you did. Even if you don’t know why, he does. We all do. Let me tell you something. You coming through that front door felt like our son coming home. You never have to thank us for anything. The look on Perry’s face and hearing him laugh and cut up again, I need to be thanking you.”

  “You may be the sweetest woman on the planet,” I said. “But I won’t be able to stop thanking you for everything you’re doing.”

  As the morning pressed into afternoon, I found myself growing tired. Donna helped me back up the stairs to my room. Tucking me in like a child, she kissed my forehead, telling me she’d wake me for dinner. She told me that the family did their best to sit down for at least one meal a day. And Perry was planning something special for me.

  Settling in, staring at the ceiling, I wondered if my family would be as welcoming if they knew everything I had done to get there. I had left a trail of bodies from my front door to theirs. (Not to mention I blew up his brother’s fine home.) Even with the thoughts of the throats I had cut and the young girl I sent to the grave, I had a feeling they’d understand, or at least try. If I wanted to stay – and I did – I’d have to tell Uncle Perry everything. I decided that my new life was going to start with a clean slate.

  When Donna woke me for dinner, I walked down the stairs and into a Norman Rockwell painting. The sun was setting, but light and laughter were everywhere. River was sitting on the counter, talking to her mother while she stirred a pot on the stove. Joey was holding the hand of a pretty woman as they sat at the kitchen table.

  I looked past them out onto the deck where Perry was flipping steaks on the grill as Doc hovered over him, inhaling the aroma of the thick cuts. Torches on each corner were dancing against a dark blue sky as Kelly walked up the steps carrying an armful of wood for the fire. A man I didn’t recognize walked up behind her with another stack.

  Shit.

  “Oh, my God, you look awful,” said River, jumping down off the counter to get a closer look. “How long is it going to stay like that?”

  “You look good, too,” I said.

  She reached up to touch my face. “Does it hurt as bad as it looks?”

  “Only when you stare at it.”

  “River, cut it out,” said Donna, turning around. “I think some of the swelling has gone down, sweetie. It’s already looking better.”

  “It makes you look tough,” said Joey.

  “Thank you,” I said, nodding to him.

  “This is Courtney,” said Joey, introducing his girl.

  “Pleased to meet you,” I said, extending my good hand.

  “It really isn’t that bad,” said Courtney, trying to hold back a smile.

  “Yes, it is,” I said. “But thank you for lying. You’re very sweet.”

  “How’s my patient doing?” asked Doc, coming inside, carrying a magical stack of meat.

  “Much better,” I said, taking a seat. “You do good work, Doc.”

  “I must,” replied Doc. “Apparently, this is your uncle’s payment for my services. If I’d had known this before the power went out, I’d have made everyone pay with a home cooked meal.”

  “You earned it, Doc” said Perry, carrying more steaks and then turning towards me. “But this is our payment and a celebration for our family. You went through a lot to get here. The least we can do is feed you well while you recover.”

  I smiled while they spoke, but I was focused on the window, watching the conversation taking place on the deck. Kelly looked smitten as the stranger moved in to whisper something in her ear. She pulled back, laughing, slapping him on the arm.

  Shit. Shit.

  My stomach turned, like a jealous schoolboy watching his girl flirt with the captain of the football team. It didn’t help that he was young, lean, and all the skin on his face was the same color with no stiches. It took a fair amount of restraint for me not to walk out there and beat him bloody with my cast.

  When I got over the urge to kick his ass for no reason, I focused on the gathering around the table. More and more food was taking up every open space. I didn’t know how often a meal like this was put together, but judging by the excited stares, it probably didn’t happen every day.

  Perry took me by the arm as he pulled out a chair. Once again he was making sure I was taken care of before anyone else. But as I was about to sit, Kelly and the asshole came through the door. I stopped my descent, wincing through the jarring pain of the abrupt change of direction. I wanted him to know that I was taller.

  “Hey, handsome.”

  Funny girl.

  “How are you feeling?” asked Kelly, holding on to asshole’s arm.

  “Better than I look,” I said, forcing a smile.

  “This is Pastor Jenkins. He wanted to welcome you in person.”

  “A pleasure to meet you,” said Pastor Jenkins, aware enough to extend his left hand. “My wife wanted to be here as well, but she’s tending to her pregnant sister.”

  Yep, I’m going straight to hell.

  Chapter 39

  (Day 42)

  Seven

  It was time to get rid of the scruff. I hadn’t shaved for ten days since Doc removed the bullet from my face. I didn’t want to do anything that would risk extending the time it would take to heal. As I swiped the soapy brush across my jaw, I felt much better about my appearance. I was looking forward to walking with Perry into town, meeting some of the folks who were holding down the fort.

  After splashing cool water on my face, I stood at the mirror, admiring Doc’s work. All of the swelling was gone, leaving only dark circles under my eyes that would be gone in a few more days. The scar on my left cheek from lancing through the bullet wound started near the corner of my eye and went down over my cheek bone. On the right side, where my head had bounced off a limb, the scar was smaller, only about an inch long under my right eye.

  I wiggled my fingers which were sticking out of the cast on my broken arm. Doc said it would be another four weeks before he’d cut it off. It felt great. The pain was gone.

  Turning sideways to the mirror, I inspected the four red dots where he removed the rest of the birdshot. I had finished the round of antibiotics and there was no sign of infection. There was still some aching in my side and ankle where the pellets had hit the bone, but every day it was getting less noticeable. I considered myself out of the woods.

  It had been raining steady for the past two days, saturating the ground. There was concern that the Tennessee River would overflow its banks, flooding Stevenson. The TVA no longer had the ability to automatically control the floodgates in the dams. If t
here was nobody to manually open or close the valves, a flood or dam break was imminent. When I went downstairs for breakfast, Perry was discussing the issue with the family.

  “I’m not as concerned about Guntersville Dam as I am about Nickajack,” said Perry. “Nickajack is upriver about twenty miles or so. If it’s wide open, then there’s no doubt Stevenson will flood. It’s not an if, it’s a when.”

  “But what if Guntersville Dam is closed?” asked Joey. “Won’t that be just as bad? I mean, eventually the water will back up to here, right?”

  “It’s not likely,” said Perry. “It’s downriver about fifty miles. I’m pretty sure the water will spill over the top before it gets backed up enough to flood here. No, Nickajack is going to be the problem.”

  “Do you know how to close a dam?” asked River.

  “I don’t,” said Perry. “But there’s going to be two gentlemen at the meeting today that do. Both the Kramer boys work for the TVA. They say the valves can be opened or closed manually. More importantly, they know where they are.”

  “Good morning,” I said, walking into the conversation. They all greeted me with the usual warm smiles.

  “You feel up to taking a walk today?” asked Perry.

  “Very much,” I said. “My ankle feels ready.”

  “Good, good,” said Perry. “We’ll head down to the river before we go into town. I want to see for myself how swollen it is.”

  “I have to tell you, Perry. I’m not a fan of the water anymore. I’ve been in it three times so far, and all three have ended badly.”

  “Well, you can wear a life jacket then,” said Perry. “But we need to go look at it. Doc’s coming with us, so we’re going to swing by his place. It’s on the way.”

  “Can I go with you?” asked River.

  “Sure, sweetie,” said Perry.

  “I don’t know about that,” said Donna. “It’s not safe for a young lady to be that far from town.”

  “She’ll be fine, honey,” said Perry. “She’s gonna have an army around her.”

  “Okay,” conceded Donna. “Please be careful. All of you.”

  After finishing the meal, the traveling party assembled in the living room. It had been a while since I had needed to strap on my gun belt. (Joey had been kind enough to clean all my weapons while I was down and out.) Even though I had just spent ten days in the most comfortable environment since I left my apartment, I knew the world outside was ten days further into its decay.

  I loaded my shotgun, racked in a round, and then picked up the assault rifle I took from my father’s gun cabinet. Holding it out to Perry, he gave me an odd look. He didn’t reach out for it.

  “What’s this?” asked Perry.

  “It’s yours,” I said. “Right?”

  “Yes, it’s my old one,” replied Perry. “You keep that. I can’t fire two of them.”

  “This is a valuable piece of equipment, Uncle Perry. What if someone else in the house needs it?”

  “You say that as if you’re going somewhere, son. You are someone else in the house. No, you hold on to that. It’s already helped you out of a jam, hasn’t it?”

  “Absolutely,” I replied. “Thank you.”

  “Did you bring all the rounds from your dad’s house, or are they still there?” asked Joey. “As soon as you get that cast off your arm, you and I need to go get those other guns. He had a badass collection.”

  I still hadn’t cleaned my slate. Now was as good a time as any. I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.

  “Guys, there is no house anymore,” I said. “I did hide the weapons, ammo, and food, but I blew up the house.”

  “Come again?” said Joey, jerking his head around to me. “You blew it up?”

  “I did.”

  “What the hell, man?” said Joey. “Your own parents’ house and you destroyed it?”

  “If I didn’t,” I said, “then I would’ve never left. I know it’s difficult for you to understand, but I had to remove it as an option. I needed to move on.”

  “Oh, that beautiful house,” said River, dropping her head into her hands. “I really wanted to go back there someday. We had so many good memories there. You’re right, I don’t understand.”

  “I do,” said Perry, standing beside me, putting his arm around my shoulder. “And I don’t blame you. Sometimes you gotta take away that safety net. It was a pretty house, though.”

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I really am.”

  “Well, at least you spared the guns,” said Joey, smiling.

  “I did save a lot of things from inside. I do want go back and get them.”

  “We’ll all go with you,” said Perry. “We can cross the river at Bridgeport.”

  “I’d appreciate that,” I said.

  Bristling with guns to make Donna feel a bit more comfortable, we started out down the road. Doc’s house was less than a mile away. He had a breathtaking plantation style home with dogwood trees canopying the driveway. I could only imagine how beautiful it was when they bloomed. He was rocking on the front porch, sipping a cup of coffee when we arrived. Kelly was rocking beside him.

  “Beautiful morning, isn’t it?” greeted Doc.

  “It is,” replied Perry, shaking his hand. “Even more beautiful with this one sitting beside you.”

  “Always such a gentleman,” said Kelly, standing to give Perry a hug. “Donna’s a very lucky woman.”

  “Please tell her that next time you see her,” said Perry. “I still don’t think she knows.”

  “Oh, she knows,” said River, laughing. “Are you coming with us?”

  “I am,” said Kelly, turning to look at me. “You look like a different man every time I see you.”

  “It’s amazing how sobriety can change a guy,” I said. “It’s good to see you.”

  “The gang’s all here,” said Pastor Jenkins, coming out the front door. I was impressed to see an AK-47 slung over his shoulder and a 9mm on his hip.

  “Good morning, Pastor,” I said, extending my hand.

  “Please, call me Rick. You look good, my man. You know, chicks dig scars.”

  I liked him.

  “How old are you guys?” asked Kelly.

  She stood, pulling the slide on her pistol, chambering a round. She returned it to her holster and reached down beside her rocking chair for a shotgun. As the seven of us headed down the driveway, I thought about how right Perry was. We were a small army. I had known three of the seven for only ten days, but I’d be a warrior for any of them if need be.

  “It’s good to see her out and about,” said Kelly, walking beside me, nodding towards River. “That’s one very strong lady.”

  “For you to say that, she must be,” I said.

  “You don’t know?”

  “I know her husband died trying to save their daughter from a house fire,” I said. “I didn’t think I needed to pry about the details.”

  “We think it might have been the same group that attacked me,” said Kelly, lowering her voice. “They held them hostage for two days before killing her husband and then setting the house on fire. River had succumbed to the smoke when a neighbor pulled her out. They couldn’t get to her daughter in time.”

  It was like somebody had punched me in the stomach. “The same group?”

  “Your uncle, Joey, and Rick went looking for them,” said Kelly. “They were gone for two days up on the mountain, but they didn’t find them. Mine and hers aren’t the only stories. We figure they attacked at least five other families.”

  “Fucking animals,” I whispered through clenched teeth.

  “I agree,” said Rick, walking up beside me. “If I ever got a hold of them, God would have to forgive me after.”

  “Do you think they’re still around?”

  “I hope so,” said Rick, moving up the line.

  “He’s not your typical pastor,” said Kelly.

  “Not like any I’ve known,” I said. “He seems like a good man.”

  “He
is,” said Kelly. “He tends to take it personal when any of his flock is hurt by someone else. I believe him when he says he’ll find them.”

  “I like his style,” I said.

  “He likes you,” said Kelly, turning to look at me. “He says he can see it your eyes.”

  “See what?”

  “Determination.”

  “What do you see?”

  “I see how Perry laughs again like he used to all the time,” said Kelly, moving closer to me as we walked. “I see River up there with a smile on her face, walking with confidence. I see Doc who talks about you incessantly.”

  “Really?”

  “Really,” said Kelly. “He says you’re a fighter. He also says there’s something about you that’s very intriguing. It’s the only way I can figure he’s walking with us instead of being at the hospital where he practically lives.”

  “That still doesn’t answer my question,” I said. “What do you see?”

  “I will say there is something about you, but I’m not sure what that is.”

  “Well, it’s not my good looks,” I said, smiling.

  “They’re getting better,” said Kelly, grinning.

  A mile from where the river was supposed to be, we were standing at the water’s edge. Twenty yards out, it was moving fast. Everyone knew it meant the river was still on the rise.

  “I guess that settles it,” said Perry, scanning up and down the banks. “We’ve got to get the Kramer boys up to Nickajack Dam. Any more rain and we’ll be swimming through downtown. It’ll soon be the same story in Bridgeport and Scottsboro.”

  “Until we do, we need to get everybody to higher ground,” said Doc. “We’re back in the Stone Age with any kind of weather forecasting. By the time we see dark clouds over our heads, it’ll be too late.”

  “Higher ground,” said River. “You mean going up into the hills, right? Their hills.”

  “Our hills,” said Doc. “Not theirs. Those chickenshits won’t come after a big group.”

  “No offense, Doc,” said River, “but they’re not going be afraid of old men, women, and children. You and I both know my dad, Joey, Rick, and every other able bodied man will be leaving us.”