Dreams

by Linda Chapman

  Luke raised his eyebrows at Ellie. “Still not been forgiven then?”

  She sighed. “Nope.”

  Luke dumped Lucifer’s saddle on the saddle rack. “You know,” he said, glancing at her, his tone changing. “The show yesterday was fun.”

  Ellie nodded but her thoughts were with Joe. She hated him being in a mood with her. She chewed a fingernail. She wanted to make up but there were always so many other people around. I’ll talk to him as soon as I can, she decided.

  But Ellie’s good intentions came to nothing. It was such a busy day that she didn’t have a chance to talk to Joe at all. There were horses to get ready for a show the next day and the horsebox needed to be loaded for an early start. In the afternoon, Len tried backing Solo for the first time—or at least the first official time. The chestnut pony behaved faultlessly. He looked slightly surprised to have Len there, but was completely happy to be led around, tacked up and for Joe to sit on his back.

  “Looks as if your extra handling’s done some good,” Ellie heard Len say to Joe as she watched from the gate. “But then he’s always been an easy pony.”

  That evening Ellie hoped to speak to Joe alone, but he stayed downstairs, talking to Len about the show. In the end, Ellie went outside. Lucifer was looking over his door. Ellie remembered how he had been that day and thought of Jeff Hallett coming to see him tomorrow. They really had to get to the bottom of his problems. Ignoring his flattened ears, she let herself into his stable. He shot to the back and stared at her warily. “It’s OK, boy,” Ellie soothed. Lucifer turned his back to her, threatening to kick. His body bristled with tension. I just want to help, she told him in her head. Talk to me.

  She edged closer. When she had spoken to Troy she’d been touching him, she reasoned, but as soon as she was within touching distance Lucifer stamped a back hoof down in his straw bed. Ellie took no notice. She was sure she needed to get close enough to touch him. However, as she tried to get around towards his head and neck, he swung his hindquarters at her threateningly.

  “I only want to help you,” she told him in exasperation.

  She tried again, but this time Lucifer lashed out with his back hoof.

  Ellie paused. She wasn’t frightened because she didn’t feel that Lucifer really intended to hurt her. Although he’d been threatening ever since he arrived, he hadn’t actually bitten or kicked anyone. And if he’d wanted to hurt Ellie, he could have chased her out of the stable by now. Her instincts told her that Lucifer’s behavior was meant as a warning to keep her away. But if she did that, she couldn’t help him. Ignoring his warning, she moved in on his head again. This time he swung around, his teeth snapping at her. She jumped back just in time. Ellie felt like stamping her own foot in the straw. This was pointless. She was getting nowhere and Lucifer was just increasingly wound up.

  With a sigh, Ellie gave up and left the stable.

  I just don’t understand, she told Spirit five minutes later. He won’t speak to me, but why not? I can talk with other horses—I was able to with Troy. What do I need to do, Spirit?

  The gray horse nuzzled her. Listen carefully.

  A picture grew in her mind—she saw herself and Lucifer. She was just standing there. Ellie caught her breath, waiting for him to show her what to do. But once again nothing happened.

  I can’t see what you’re trying to say, she said in frustration. She sighed, feeling stupid. I’m sorry. She patted Spirit. We can talk again later. I’d better go.

  Spirit was still watching her as she left the stable.

  Ellie fell into bed exhausted that night. She half woke up at about 5 a.m. as she heard Joe getting up to set off for the show with Stuart and the horses. “Good luck,” she whispered to him from her bed. Rolling over, she decided that as soon as he was back she’d make sure they talked. She hated there being such an atmosphere between them.

  An hour and a half later her alarm clock woke her. She staggered out of bed and, throwing on the first clothes that came to hand, went outside.

  “That’s what I like about you, Ellie. You always make such an effort in the mornings,” Luke commented as she went into the kitchen.

  Looking down, Ellie realized she was wearing an old pink sweatshirt with holes in it and there was a stain down the front of her purple jodhpurs. “I guess I’d better get changed before Jeff Hallett arrives,” she sighed as she made herself a mug of coffee.

  Len came in. “Soon as the breakfasts are done, get that black gelding groomed and ready for Jeff’s visit. Make sure he behaves a damn sight better than yesterday. After he’s been ridden he can go out in the field with one of the others. It’s time he had some company out there.” He rubbed his hands. “Let’s get started!”

  By the time Jeff Hallett arrived later that morning, Lucifer was tacked up and ready in his stable. As Luke led him out, Jeff Hallett nodded approvingly.

  “He’s looking a million dollars.” Ellie had to agree. With his muscles rippling under his satin-soft black coat, Lucifer looked every inch a champion show horse.

  “Let’s get him into the ring then,” said Len with a nod at Luke.

  Ellie followed them. At first Luke rode Lucifer on a long rein and everything was fine. The horse relaxed and walked and trotted around calmly, showing off his beautiful paces.

  “He’s looking good,” commented Jeff, pleased.

  But as Luke gathered up the reins, Ellie sensed a change in Lucifer. Tension prickled in the air around him and he put his head up. Feeling the gelding’s pace slow, Luke used his legs strongly. Lucifer swished his tail and pinned back his ears. Conscious of Jeff watching, Luke smacked him and Lucifer exploded. Plunging forward, he threw his head down. Luke kept his seat and pulled the horse’s head up, but as he smacked him again Lucifer went wild, kicking his heels up in a series of twisting bucks.

  “Christ Almighty!” The exclamation burst out of Jeff.

  Len was already through the gate. “Get him together, Luke!”

  Ellie had no idea how Luke managed to stay on top of the horse, but he did, and finally he managed to pull Lucifer into a circle and stop him. Len reached them and grabbed hold of the bridle. Lucifer snorted but stayed still.

  “What the hell was all that about?” demanded Jeff Hallett.

  “There must be something up with him. He’s never done anything like that before. Maybe there’s a soreness somewhere,” Len said. “Off you get, Luke. We’ll get the vet and have him checked out.”

  Ellie saw a brief look pass between them as Luke dismounted. “Yeah, he’s never behaved like that before,” said Luke to Jeff.

  Jeff was frowning. “He’d better not have done.” He turned to Len. “I’m paying you good money to make sure that horse is in the ring and gets his ticket for the Horse of the Year. He won’t win anything if he behaves like a bucking bronco. He’ll embarrass us all.”

  “He won’t do that. Don’t worry.” Len’s voice was jovial. “He’s been a dream to work with the last few days. There must be something up with him today. He’s a winning horse, there’s no doubt about it.”

  Jeff Hallett looked slightly mollified. “Right, well, see you get him sorted. Isn’t Anna entered for a show on him soon?”

  “Aye, in four weeks’ time. We’ll have him ready for then,” said Len, his voice ringing with a confidence that Ellie was sure he didn’t feel.

  “Good.” Jeff Hallett looked at Len as Luke led Lucifer out of the school. “I brought him here because I thought you were the best. That’s why I sponsor you. And if you’re not…” His words hung dangerously in the air.

  “We are. There’s nothing to worry about,” said Len levelly.

  “I hope not. I’ll see you at the show with him in four weeks’ time and I expect him to be in the final line up.” Giving a brief nod, Jeff Hallett strode back to the car park. Len watched him go and then, swearing under his breath, went back to the yard.

  Ellie stood by the ring. What had been up with Lucifer? He hadn’t gone well the day before
but he hadn’t tried to buck Luke off like that. Her heart sank as she heard Len shout at Helen about some loose straw on the yard, and then at Sasha for not hanging a headcollar up properly. He’d be in a foul mood all day now. We’d all better keep out of his way, she realized, her heart sinking.

  However, staying out of her uncle’s way was impossible. The disastrous meeting with Jeff had put him in such a dark mood that he seemed determined to pick fault with everyone. Ellie was roared at for using a plastic curry comb on Picasso’s tail instead of untangling it knot by knot with her fingers, and when Len checked a water bucket she was refilling and found it hadn’t been scrubbed out properly, he threw it across the yard.

  Len checked Lucifer over but found nothing wrong with him—no stiffness, no sore patches, nothing. There was no reason why the horse should have behaved as he did.

  At lunchtime, Ellie tacked Spirit up. After not riding him the day before, she was determined to today. She had just led him to the courtyard and mounted when she heard Len shouting to Luke. “Luke! Get Merlin and stick him in the field with Lucifer. We’ll see if being out with another horse helps him calm down. I’ve got John coming this afternoon to have a look at him too.”

  Ellie felt a prickle of unease. She hoped Merlin would be all right out with Lucifer. “Come on, boy,” she said, touching her heels to Spirit’s sides. He didn’t move. “Come on.”

  He made a whickering noise and shook his head, taking a step backwards.

  “What is it?” Ellie clicked her tongue. “Walk on.”

  Spirit pulled up the slope towards the pony barn.

  “No, we’re going out for a ride.” Ellie was puzzled. She squeezed with her legs again and Spirit walked on. But he moved reluctantly, looking around over his shoulder, and as they reached the car park and rode out on to the lane he lifted his head, stopped dead, and gave a whinny so loud that it shook him. “What’s the matter, boy?” Ellie asked.

  She wished she could talk to him properly, but she’d tried connecting with him before when she was riding and it had never worked. They usually had to be standing still.

  Spirit finally walked on but Ellie was left with the uncomfortable feeling that something was wrong. She wasn’t sure quite how to define it, he didn’t feel nervous or in pain but she could sense a feeling of trepidation in the air around him. Almost as if he was very worried about something.

  They reached the end of the lane and crossed over the quiet, winding road into the woods. The banks at the side of the bridle path were covered with bushy plants full of pink flowers; bluebells pushed themselves up in the roots of trees. It was quiet and peaceful with only the sound of birds singing, but Ellie couldn’t get rid of the feeling that something was very wrong.

  It preyed on her mind, and when she headed for home and saw the vet’s car at the other end of the lane she felt a lurch of alarm. But then she remembered that Len had arranged for the vet to check Lucifer out.

  Spirit pulled at the reins, wanting to trot. She let him, only trying to slow him down when they neared the car park, but Spirit had no intention of walking calmly. He whinnied twice and Ellie was suddenly gripped with a strange sense of urgency. Jumping off, she led him to the courtyard. The sight that met her eyes made her stop dead. Helen and Sasha were both crying. Luke had his arm around them both.

  “What’s happened?” Ellie could feel icy pinpricks tingling over her skin. “What’s going on?” She looked from one to the other.

  Luke looked up, his eyes for once stunned and without a glint of humor. It was then that Ellie knew it was really bad.

  “It’s Merlin,” Sasha sobbed. “It’s…he’s…”

  “What? He’s what? What’s happened?” Ellie’s voice rose. Spirit nudged her back but for once she ignored him.

  “Lucifer attacked him,” said Luke. “When Merlin was put in the field with him, Lucifer went for him. Merlin tried to get away but Lucifer chased him. We couldn’t stop him. In the end Merlin tried to jump the cattle grid to escape.”

  “And?” Ellie stared at him.

  “He didn’t quite make it. He caught his back foot.”

  Ellie’s heart seemed to stop. “Has he broken his leg?” A broken leg meant a horse would have to be put down.

  “No, but he ripped his tendon to pieces.”

  Relief rushed through Ellie. Tendons could mend. She knew that from having been on her dad’s vet rounds with him. They needed a lot of rest and they didn’t always get better, but often with a year off, the horse or pony would recover. “So that’s why the vet’s here?” Luke nodded. “Oh, poor Merlin.” She looked at the three of them in front of her, not understanding why they were so upset. “I guess he’ll just have to be turned out for a year, but at least he hasn’t broken it and—”

  “Ellie,” Luke broke in. “They’re going to put him down.”

  She blinked, the words not seeming to make sense. “Put him down?”

  Luke nodded and Sasha started to cry more. “Len won’t keep him for a year if he can’t work and there’s no guarantee he’ll get better anyway. He’s old, he might not mend.”

  Ellie was shaking her head. “They can’t put him down. He’s Joe’s pony…”

  She saw Luke’s face and knew with absolute certainty that her uncle could do anything he liked. “No!” she cried. And leaving Spirit where he stood, she sprinted towards the field.

  Chapter Eleven

  ALL ELLIE’S THOUGHTS WERE fixed on one point: they were going to put Merlin down. She was aware of everything around her—the sound of her boots falling on the gravel, her breath coming in short gasps, the pale blue sky with white clouds scudding across it. She felt like she was running in slow motion. Merlin, Merlin, Merlin…

  The single word pounded over and over in her head.

  As she rounded the bend the sight in front of her almost made her throw up. While Lucifer trotted uneasily up and down the line of electric tape, her uncle and John Taylor were standing by Merlin near the cattle grid. The pony’s head was low and his left hind leg was lifted off the ground. Even from such a distance, Ellie could feel the waves of pain coming from him. Racing to the gate, she clambered over. Lucifer looked at her and snorted. Ignoring him, she ran up the field, her eyes fixed on the bay pony, each breath hurting her chest now.

  She reached them just as John started walking away. “I’ll go and fetch it from the car,” she heard him saying to her uncle.

  “What are you doing?” Ellie gasped.

  Her uncle looked at her in surprise. “What’s it to you?”

  Ellie reached Merlin and touched his neck, for a moment blocking out her uncle, taking in the pony’s trembling sides, his heavy breathing, his eyes clouded with pain. She looked at his leg and winced. She’d seen many injured animals when she had helped her dad, and this was bad. Merlin’s leg was torn open and blood was running down it. But it didn’t have to mean the end. “It’s just his tendon. Luke said.” She looked at her uncle.

  “There’s no just about it.”

  “But all he needs is rest. He might get better.”

  “He’s old. His time’s up.”

  Ellie felt as if she was in the worst sort of nightmare, seeing something bad about to happen, being unable to stop it. “But you can’t put him down! If you just left him out in the field, kept him off work…”

  Her uncle’s face was set and closed. “I’m not a charity.”

  “What about Joe?” Ellie’s voice rose desperately. “At least wait until he’s back. Merlin’s his pony.”

  “He’ll do what I say and I’m not leaving the pony to suffer more. It’s got to be done now. Good lad.” Len patted Merlin and walked off.

  “No! You can’t!” Ellie shouted. “You can’t do it!” But Len ignored her.

  Ellie swung around to the pony, her heart hammering in her chest. She couldn’t let this happen. “It’s OK, sweetie. It’s all right,” she whispered frantically. The breeze seemed to lift up her futile words and sweep them away. Ellie moved q
uickly to Merlin’s head and took the weight of it in her hands, one on either side of his face. She bent her forehead to his, instinctively pouring love out, not knowing what she was doing but sending everything she could, wishing she could heal him.

  Instantly she felt it—the click, the connection. The link she had been looking for so hard with Lucifer. Waves of Merlin’s pain rolled over her. It was almost more than she could bear.

  It’ll be OK, it’ll be OK, she told him, her mind racing through possible solutions. Maybe she could get him away from here. But how, with his leg…?

  She felt his desperate pain and concentrated on that again. The pony’s trembling quietened. Hush now. Little by little she felt a change in the energy around them, a sense of peace gradually chasing the fear and pain away. She felt as if she and Merlin were cut off from the world. Love, more love, her instincts said. She gave it with every cell of her being. I’m here with you. Don’t worry. Don’t be scared, she told him. You’ll be OK. I know you will. I’ll think of something. I will. I’ll…

  She jumped as she heard the sound of footsteps nearby and looked around. John was standing there, the humane killer weighing heavily in his hand. Ellie swallowed. She knew it would send a bolt straight into Merlin’s brain and kill him instantly. Suddenly it came crashing down on her that there was nothing she could do to stop this. It was going to happen.

  “No,” she whispered, shaking her head hopelessly.

  “I have to, love. Your uncle wants me to and it’s his pony.”

  A hard lump blocked Ellie’s throat. “But Merlin could get better.”

  The vet looked at her, his gaze sad. “Maybe. Maybe not. He wouldn’t mend easily at his age.”

  Tears started in Ellie’s eyes. This wasn’t fair. Why couldn’t she be older? Why couldn’t she stop it? “Joe’s not here,” she said, her voice cracking.

  “The lad’ll be upset, I know. But we can’t let this old boy suffer any more. It’s not fair. He won’t know a thing about it.” John walked past her and ruffled Merlin’s thick mane. “Come on, my beauty. Let’s see you off.”