Changes

by A B Turner

  “Get up and dressed, Kat is here for lunch!” I ordered.

  “You don’t seriously think I’m going,” Lainie shot back sarcastically, having lost any patience I had, I pulled the cover back,

  “Now, what you think about me, well, that’s up to you, but you are not going to cause any problem in front of Kat, understood? So I suggest you get ready quickly and start acting like the adult you keep telling me you are !”

  Without waiting to hear a response, I slammed out of the bedroom and answered the front door, on seeing me, Kat beamed,

  “Hello honey, where’s our girl?”

  “She’s just finishing getting dressed,” I answered firmly, “Come in.”

  Almost as soon as we sat down, Lainie appeared, gave Kat a hug and sat down on the armchair opposite, taking great care to avoid any eye contact with me. For several minutes, she answered every one of Kat's questions with, what she clearly believed, was just the right amount of humour and good manners, but it quickly became clear, Kat was not so easily fooled.

  “OK, you two, what’s happened?” she asked, her eyes looking first at Lainie then back at me, when neither of us answered, she put her handbag down and rested back into the deep cushions,

  “We’re not going anywhere with this atmosphere, so it’s up to you how long we sit here,” she continued, sounding like a mother addressing two errant children, when I heard this tone, I knew I had to say something, but Lainie spoke first,

  “I just found out my mother likes being knocked about during sex, don’t you?” her voice sounded flat but still accusing, “She’s covered in bite marks and, God knows, what else, why don’t you show her,Mum?”

  I expected Kat to turn and look at me, but she didn’t, instead she looked steadily at Lainie,

  “There’s no need for your mother to show me anything, what she does in her personal life, is her concern,” she said firmly. Lainie stood up from the chair and threw her hands up in disgust,

  “You can’t honestly sit there and say you’re OK with this !”

  Kat remained seated, still fixing her eyes on the increasingly-agitated Lainie,

  “As long as she is OK, I am, it’s that simple, she is my dearest friend, and as such, there is nothing she could do, that would make me, treat her as disrespectfully as you are, right now,” the cold tone of her voice seemed to freeze the air in the room. But Laine remained unmoved,choosing to persisting with her rant about how horrified she was at my behaviour, Kat listened intently, waiting for the younger woman to stop, when, at last, Lainie ran out of steam, Kat stood up slowly and walked over to her.

  “You have said a great deal, now I should like to ask you something?”

  Without waiting, she continued,

  “Has your mother ever let you down? Have you ever not had everything you’ve ever needed in your life? In fact, isn’t it true to say, you would not be cruising your way merry around Rome, if she hadn’t worked all the hours God sends to pay for it?”

  Lainie looked down, desperate to avoid Kat 's gaze,

  “Yes,” she mumbled, “That’s true.”

  “And, after all that, what does she get in return from you? Abuse and total disrespect, now, college girl, does that sound right?” Kat asked, with all the vigour of a prosecuting counsel, “Does she deserve this from you?”

  Lainie glanced across at me, hoping perhaps I would rescue her from this barrage, but, for some reason, I remained motionless, as I could think of no reason to intervene, as our eyes met, she sniffed loudly,

  “No, Kat she doesn’t..........I’m sorry, Mum.."

  A large tear began sliding down her cheek which she quickly wiped away, Kat looked back at me,

  “Is that OK with you?” she asked, when I nodded, she sighed and, after congratulating herself for resolving the issue, ordered Lainie to finish getting ready, which she did, without saying anymore. As soon as we heard the bedroom door close, Kat sat next to me on the sofa, a mischievous smile crossed her lips,

  “And, as for you, well, it seems I’ve got some catching up to do, you little tiger..”

  I smiled back,

  “Another time,Kat, OK?”

  She hugged me,

  “I will hold you to that, now what about lunch?”

  Chapter 9

  Despite Kat's welcome intervention, I was still not comfortable about the prospect of going out to lunch with Lainie, a feeling, I had no doubt she shared, but neither of us had truly taken into account, just how relentless Kat could be, when pursuing a good time. By the end of the afternoon, everything seemed to be back to normal, so when we reached home again, Lainie and I were back on speaking terms and genuinely enjoying each other’s company. Later that night, as we prepared for bed, she wandered into my room and sat down on the wicker chair by the bedroom window. Having half-expected this, I took my place on the bed and waited for her to speak,

  “About before,” she began hesitantly, “I know it’s none of my business, but can I ask you something?”

  “I suppose so,” I replied carefully, she paused, for a moment, as she obviously wanted to phrase her question in such a way, it would be less likely to cause another argument. I said nothing, instead I just waited patiently for her to speak, after several moments, she sighed and looked over at me,

  “How can you let someone do that to you, after what happened with my father?” I didn’t find her tone confrontational, but the question itself temporarily threw me, so I stalled for time,

  “What do you mean?” I asked, Lainie moved from the chair and sat next to me on the bed, her large green eyes filled with a kind of sadness,

  “I know he hit you, Mum,” she said quietly, the simplicity of her words felt like a punch to my stomach, for a moment, I wanted to begin telling her she was wrong and demanding to know her reason for saying such a thing, but one look at her face, told me such an outburst would cause more problems than solve, so I opted for the truth.

  “I didn’t know you knew, I tried so hard to keep it from you,” I replied, Lainie took my hands in her own,

  “I know, and I love you for trying to protect me, but I was there, Mum, I may have been only young, but I heard things, then there would be the days when I would get up really early and you already had make up on......” she stopped when the memory clearly became too painful to recount any further.

  “And I thought I was doing so well, keeping it from you,” I replied ruefully, “I should have known better, you were always bright,” I stroked her hair almost absent-mindedly, she smiled, but it was only momentary,

  “So why, Mum? How can this be happening now?” she persisted, gesturing towards my torso, which although fully covered, still seemed to be showing all its scars to her. It was my turn to pause and consider my words carefully, somehow I had to strike the balance between honesty and maintaining my privacy, as despite everything, I still felt I was entitled to having a piece of my life that was mine alone. Lainie sat patiently until, at last, I knew what I was going to say,

  “Lainie, being your Mum is the single best part of my life, you must know that,” I looked at her for confirmation of this statement, when she smiled, I accepted, and continued,

  “But I’m also a person, a woman and, although I can cope well with being alone, I need more sometimes, do you understand ?” I paused again, looking at Lainie who was, in turn, deep in thought, trying to absorb my words.

  “Yes, I suppose, but...” she began, but I raised my hand as a gesture of wanting to finish,

  “What I do and who I do it with, I’m afraid, will have to remain my business, just as I respect your privacy, I would ask you respect mine...but I can assure you, no-one, and I mean, no-one, treats me as your father did....and they never will again.”

  Lainie looked at me steadily, if there were more questions in her mind, she resolved they were never going to be answered, so instead, she leant forward and hugged me tightly,

  “Just promise me ,you’ll be careful,” she whispered.

  �
��I always will,” I replied, hugging her back, probably with twice as much force, as I was so relieved we had managed to weather this particular storm, we parted and she wandered back to her own room.

  Just as I eased into bed, my mobile vibrated on the bedside table, a quick glance showed a text from Kat, checking everything was alright, I quickly answered ‘yes’, adding how grateful I was for her help, within a moment, her response appeared,

  “Hey, just call me Oprah !”

  I laughed, put the mobile back and tucked down to sleep,

  “Night, Mum, love you,” Lainie called from her room.

  “Love you more,” I replied, happy to receive confirmation, if it were needed, everything was alright between us again.

  The next day, we spent together, busily making the final preparations for the hen weekend, we travelled from restaurant, to club and hotel, to ensure everything was in place, to make this unforgettable for Kat. Although I was fairly sure I had thought of everything, Lainie added numerous touches, which gave every stage of the evening an extra lift, I looked on, as she carefully explained to the restaurant manager how the tables should be arranged, when we reached the club, by the time I had confirmed with security as to where valuables could be safely stored, Lainie had spoken to the bar manager about how much money would be placed with him to pay for drinks and how to ensure only our party benefited, explaining she had been at other functions and the bar tab had been quickly exhausted by other people cashing in on a ‘free drink.’

  By the time we drove up to the hotel, we were still exchanging thoughts and ideas, with hers becoming increasingly elaborate while I reminded her of the financial restrictions of the budget we had to work with,

  “So no to the helicopter then?” she asked, I laughed and replied with a firm, but good-natured negative response. As we stepped out of the car, Lainie looked up at the large, imposing country house with unrestrained awe,

  “This place is amazing !” she gasped, “How can we afford it ?”

  “We can’t, this part of the experience is all due to Matt, he wanted to treat the three of us,” I explained, as we walked up to the large doors, Laine paused and looked at me,

  “Tell me again, why you let him slip through your fingers ?” she laughed.

  “He was never mine to have,” I replied, pushing open the door, “Come on.”

  The doors opened into a vast hallway, dominated by an ornate, sweeping staircase which led to the upper floor. As I glanced up, every inch of the vaulted ceiling seemed to be a vast canvas, covered in the most lavish painting depicting ancient mythological figures enjoying every kind of pleasure imaginable, there was so much to try and take in, it would have been easy to stare at it for hours, in the hope of not missing any detail. I looked across at Lainie, who was equally lost, our dreamlike state was finally interrupted by a polite voice,

  “Good afternoon, Madam, can I help you?”

  I turned sharply to see a slim, uniformed young woman poised at my shoulder, her dark hair was swept up into a bun, without a single stray hair out of place,

  “Yes, thank you, I’m here to check everything is ready for a party of three booked for the weekend,” I answered, silently wishing, for some ridiculous reason, I had worn something smarter for our visit, despite the fact, I knew I looked perfectly fine.

  “Of course, if you’d like to follow me to our reception desk...” she smiled, before walking towards a long oak desk, which fitted neatly into one of the enormous bay windows. Lainie and I followed, both of us now, trying to appear as if we were completely unfazed by the sheer luxury of our surroundings. The young woman carefully held her skirt as she sat down, the prospect of any kind of wrinkle seemingly unthinkable in this rarified atmosphere, far from thinking this foolish, I was filled with admiration, after all, it could not be easy working in such a place without being fully aware of how your appearance had to be as perfect as everything around you.

  “I am Sophia, the head receptionist here, may I have the name?” she asked, opening a large, leather-bound volume,

  “The name is Croft,” I replied, “Matthew Croft.”

  After only a few seconds, Sophia had found the booking and proceeded to confirm every treatment, Matt had obviously booked for us, a seemingly-endless list of massages, facials and other experiences designed to make a person feel completely pampered. As Sophia spoke, I did momentarily wonder why wasn’t marrying him myself, as it all sounded simply amazing. Once she had finished, she glanced back at me,

  “I believe that’s everything, are there any other requirements ? ” she asked, I glanced across at Lainie who was obviously still trying to come to terms with not only the place, but what was to come when we stayed here, so I thanked Sophia and assured her I felt everything was exactly as Mr Croft had expected. She smiled, clearly unsurprised by this remark, we all rose from the desk, after I assured her we had no other questions, she shook both our hands and we left through the huge doors and out into the drive. As we stood on the huge steps, we gazed out across the grounds, laid out now, as they had probably been designed when the house was first built,

  “It’s hard to believe this was once someone’s home,” Lainie commented breathlessly, “Can you imagine having all this?”

  I shook my head, equally lost in the beauty of the place, we wandered along the drive, as we turned one corner of the house, an incredibly intricate garden spread out before us, an ornamental patchwork of flower beds framed with perfectly-clipped hedges. In the centre, a marble fountain, a statue of a woman with a deer,

  “Who do you think that is?” Lainie asked curiously.

  “I think that’s Artemis, the Greek goddess, she’s something to do with hunting, I think,” I replied, Lainie turned to me slightly incredulous,

  “How do you know that?”

  “You had that book when you were young, don’t you remember? All about the ancient myths and legends,” I answered, Laine paused,

  “Oh yes, that’s right,” she looked back at the statue, “It is Artemis, I can’t believe you remembered that book.”

  We turned to walk back to the car, she linked her arm through mine,

  “Do you know everything about me?” she asked.

  “I don’t think anyone really knows everything about another person, there are bound to be parts you never see, from one reason or another,” I replied carefully, as I suspected where this line of conversation may be headed, especially when I saw a slight frown cross her face,

  “Up until recently, I thought knew everything about you,” she said quietly, not quite able to look me in the eye, a situation I quickly rectified by taking her face in my hands and forcing our eyes to meet,

  “Lainie, you do know me, at least, the Mum part, that will never change and you know it, I think maybe you’ve just realised there’s more to me than that, don’t you?”

  I searched her face for some sign she understood, but the frown was still there,

  “You used to say I was the best thing that ever happened to you...did you mean it?” despite myself, I smiled, more at myself than her, I had worried so much about her growing up, yet here she was, still, in some ways at least, a little girl in need of reassurance,

  “Of course I did, especially all the times you were sick, not to mention the sleepless nights when you had bad dreams and don’t get me started on the hours I spent trying to help you with your maths homework, in fact, knowing you has aged me horribly !” I laughed, Lainie scowled her displeasure evident at my comment,

  “I’m only joking,” I said reassuringly, the scowl turned into a smile,

  “I knew that,” she said, we parted and as we walked towards opposite side of the car, I was about to get in, when she paused and looked across at me,

  “I really am sorry about what I said before, have you really forgiven me?”

  “Of course,” I smiled, opening the car door, Lainie beamed back at me,

  “You never can stay mad at me for long,” she laughed before getting into
the car.

  “If you say so,” I answered, refusing to admit she was right, even though we both knew her statement was true.

  When Kat phoned later that evening, I assured everything was fine, not only between Lainie and myself but, more importantly, the plan for her special weekend. We were just ending our conversation, when Lainie burst into the room,

  “Mum, it’s Damon, he wants me to meet him in Paris, tomorrow !” she gasped, her face glowing with excitement,

  “What did she say?” Kat asked, caught between the two, I quickly repeated Lainie’s words to her, before turning my attention back to my daughter,

  “What did you say?” I asked.

  “He’s still on the phone, I wanted to check with you first,” she replied breathlessly.

  “Tell her to go,” Kat ordered in my ear.

  “I can’t see a problem as long as you’re back by Friday for Kat ,” I replied, Lainie beamed at me, but then almost a dark cloud crossed her face,

  “Of course, but that’ll mean Damon will be here on his own.”

  “Tell her Matt will come and pick them up from the airport, leave her with you and bring Damon back here, he can go on the boys weekend with the rest of the guys,” Kat suggested, still in the middle, I relayed this idea back to Lainie, who readily accepted the offer and skipped back to her room to pass on the news.

  “Are you sure this is a good idea?” I asked.

  “Of course, the guys will look after him, and what’s the worst that can happen? He’ll just come back with no hair and a tattoo on his butt !”

  We both laughed and said our goodbyes, I wandered into Lainie’s room, she was whirling around, tossing various clothes into the open mouth of a small suitcase, muttering to herself as she went. Saying nothing, I watched her pack, she barely seemed to have arrived and yet, here she was, off once more, I knew I was being selfish, but I had hoped to have her to myself for a little longer.