Lipstick and Lies

by Viggiano, Debbie

  I stared at her. My mouth momentarily had lost the power of speech. A part of what Selina was saying struck a chord. Stevie had sent me to hell and back. I’d always suspected he’d been unfaithful but Stevie had repeatedly denied it. He’d made me out to be some sort of over-possessive basket case. And then I’d caught him out. Literally. I had a flashback. Walking in on Stevie. Seeing him welded to Cynthia Castle, a neighbour no less. It had been the talk of our cul-de-sac for weeks. Hadn’t I gone a bit potty for a while? My mind had certainly worked overtime dreaming up revenge tactics. Popping a bit of superglue in Stevie’s condoms. Giving Cynthia’s car a top coat of paint stripper. Needless to say I hadn’t done either of those things, but it had been a close call. Unlike Stevie’s current girlfriend – Charlotte – who only a few months ago had spectacularly lost the plot and trashed his entire house. Losing in love was a soul destroying experience. Was it any wonder that sometimes there were casualties?

  ‘Okay,’ I let out a shaky breath. ‘I can identify with some of what you’re saying.’

  Selina nodded. ‘So, truce?’ She extended a hand. I stared at it. I really didn’t want to take it. ‘You don’t have to like me Cass. You just have to tolerate me.’

  Tolerate. That word again. Only this morning, while walking in the park, Morag had said the very same thing. “You don’t have to be her friend, just tolerate her.” Everybody had said it. Jamie. Edna. Nell. Morag. And now Selina herself. There was so much to lose. And everything to gain. I had my husband’s career to think of. And my children’s future. They were growing up fast now. Before I knew it they would be wanting driving lessons. Cars. Money to pay for university. More money to pay for digs. And then there was Eddie’s schooling. Only a little while ago Morag had been talking about enrolling Henry in an exclusive prep school for boys. “There’s a three year waiting list Cass. The education is second to none. Just think how wonderful it would be to give Eddie such a golden opportunity to fulfil his potential. Our boys could go on to Eton! They might even be Prime Minister one day!” And whilst I was pretty damn sure my baby boy wasn’t going to be walking in David Cameron’s shoes, I understood Morag’s fundamental reasoning. All mothers want the best for their children. And if there was any way of guaranteeing the best for one’s child, what mother wouldn’t go the extra mile? Could I go that extra mile now? It was a no-brainer. Selina’s hand remained proffered.

  ‘I’ll never be your friend,’ I told her, ‘but I will tolerate you.’

  And then I took her hand.

  Chapter Nine

  After Selina had taken herself off downstairs, I gave my hair a quick blast of the dryer, pulled on some jeans and a clean sweater and then went to find Jamie. He was in the kitchen giving Eddie a bottle while chatting to Edna. My mother-in-law immediately excused herself on the pretext of wanting to watch a DIY programme on the television.

  ‘How’s my hubby?’ I kissed Jamie on the mouth and pulled up a chair next to him.

  ‘I’m good. And what about Florence Nightingale?’ he teased. ‘I hear you’ve started a new career in midwifery.’

  I grinned. ‘Mother and baby are doing fine. And Ben too – after his bang on the head. What a performance,’ I tutted. ‘But never mind that for now. I’ve hardly seen you this evening. You were on the phone for ages. Any progress with Ethan’s business trip?’ I leant forward and stroked Eddie’s hand while he was glugging. His chubby fingers gripped mine.

  ‘Ethan is flying home tomorrow. He’s delivered! The American bank is officially our client. This is going to open so many more doors Cassie. I can’t tell you what a great feeling it is,’ Jamie exhaled with relief.

  ‘That’s fantastic news,’ I smiled. ‘So the hard work is paying off.’

  ‘And some.’

  I looked around. Dropped my voice an octave. ‘Has Selina gone home?’

  ‘No. She’s in the study talking to Ethan. I must take her home when she’s finished the call.’

  I straightened up. ‘Didn’t she drive here?’

  ‘Her car is at the garage. Some mechanical problem. She took a taxi here.’

  ‘So let her take a taxi home.’

  Jamie pulled a face. ‘It would be rude not to offer her a lift.’

  I could do rude. ‘Greenwich isn’t just around the corner Jamie. And you’re tired.’ The doorbell rang. Eddie was almost asleep in Jamie’s arms. ‘Who can that be?’

  ‘Maybe it’s my mother’s admirer,’ Jamie waggled his eyebrows.

  ‘Ooh yes. Amorous Arthur. With a bouquet of spanners.’ I stood up.

  ‘I’d like to meet this chap. Mum was doing quite a bit of mentionitis while you were upstairs. Arthur strokes his planer this way. Arthur prefers screwing to banging. I had great trouble keeping a straight face.’ The doorbell rang again. ‘You see who it is while I take this little fellow up to bed.’

  But when I opened the front door, I wasn’t greeted by a pensioner with a big tool and a twinkle in his eye. Instead my ex-husband stood there, his face partially shadowed thanks to the angle of the porch’s courtesy light.

  ‘Hi Cass. Sorry to turn up unexpectedly,’ Stevie smiled apologetically, ‘but your mobile was switched off and the landline seems to be constantly engaged.’

  ‘Ah yes. Someone is indeed using our phone at the moment. And I switched my mobile off earlier because I was at the hospital. Nell’s finally had her baby. A little girl. Oh my goodness – I clean forgot to tell Morag. I must text her.’

  ‘That’s great news about Nell. Give her and Ben my love.’

  ‘I will. Anyway, come in out of the cold.’ I shut the door on the freezing night air. ‘Would you like a cup of coffee?’

  ‘Sure. Why not.’

  Stevie followed me through to the kitchen. I picked up the kettle. Empty. ‘Is everything all right?’ I asked. Shoving the kettle under the water spout, I hit the tap too hard. Water droplets sprayed across my sweater.

  ‘Yeah,’ Stevie slid out of his jacket and hung it over the back of a chair. ‘I was just missing the kids and thought it would be nice to say hello.’ He sat down near the range, rubbing his hands together for warmth.

  ‘I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to see you. Do you want to take them out for an ice-cream or something?’

  On the whole, my ex and I were on reasonably good speaking terms. And where the children were concerned, we’d made sure there had never been conflict. The twins’ emotional well-being was of paramount importance to us. Despite Stevie’s womanising, I’d never bad-mouthed him to Livvy and Toby. Whatever Stevie’s faults as a husband, he’d been a good father. Withholding access as a means of revenge – like some women – had never been my style.

  ‘It’s a bit cold for ice-cream,’ Stevie chuckled. ‘Anyway, it’s a school night so I don’t want them being late back. They’ll be with me this weekend so there’s time for ice-cream then. I just wanted to give them a hug.’

  ‘I’ll call them down.’ As I made the coffee, I couldn’t help noticing how tired my ex-husband looked. The corners of his mouth were uncharacteristically turned down. ‘What’s up? You look like the weight of the world is on your shoulders.’

  ‘Oh,’ he shrugged, ‘this and that.’ He accepted the coffee and stirred in some sugar. ‘Actually, Charlotte and I aren’t seeing eye to eye at the moment.’

  ‘What’s new,’ I grinned. Charlotte had been Stevie’s live-in lover for the best part of a year. Give or take a month here and there when she packed her bags and stalked off home to Mother. A statistician would surely have put the odds on Charlotte – stunningly beautiful and half Stevie’s age – as being the one to give him the run around. And whilst young lads did occasionally beat their chests and vie for her attention, for some bizarre reason she only had eyes for my ex. There was no denying Stevie was in good shape for his age, and he had a silver tongue when it came to charismatic chat-up lines. But at the end of the day, no matter how you dressed his personality up, he was still a cad with a wandering eye. He never said
no to an extra-curricular leg over. A psychologist might have diagnosed Stevie as suffering anxiety over the aging process – that he was a man worried about the shelf life of his pulling power. After all, everybody’s sex appeal had a sell-by-date. But for Stevie it was a struggle to come to terms with. Hence the tom cat behaviour. Even Charlotte’s parents despaired of their daughter not wising up and dumping Stevie permanently. Perhaps it boiled down to the treat ’em mean keep ’em keen mentality. But Stevie’s relationship was no business of mine. I was just relieved to be free of the shoes Charlotte now walked in.

  ‘She wants a baby,’ Stevie rubbed his forehead wearily.

  ‘Ah,’ I pulled out a chair and sat down opposite him, ‘and you don’t.’

  ‘Definitely not. I’ve been there. Done that. And in all honesty Cass, much as I love our kids to bits, I look back and sometimes wonder–’

  ‘What?’ I prompted.

  ‘Well. You know. I wonder if we’d still be together if we hadn’t become parents. Blokes like me – I’m not making excuses for my past behaviour – but when your partner is big with child and then subsequently knackered with a newborn,’ he shrugged. Took a sip of coffee. ‘It can put the best of relationships under pressure.’

  ‘Jamie and I have had a baby. Eddie is wonderful. We certainly have no regrets.’

  ‘Yes but Eddie isn’t the glue in your relationship. You and Jamie were good in the first place. Charlotte and I have never been solid.’

  ‘Then you’ll have to tell her straight I guess.’

  ‘Mmm. I did. She took it badly,’ Stevie looked sheepish, ‘which is another reason why I’ve come out this evening. The air at home is poisonous.’

  ‘Oh dear.’

  At that moment Toby came into the kitchen looking for a TV snack to take up to his room. ‘Dad!’ he put his arms around Stevie and gave him a hug. ‘Jonas has Paranormal Activity on DVD. Want to watch it with us?’

  ‘Is that suitable viewing?’ Stevie asked.

  ‘Probably not,’ Toby grinned. He extricated himself from Stevie and palmed a family sized bag of crisps from the larder.

  I checked my watch. ‘You can have an hour’s viewing Tobes, but then I want all four of you in the shower. School tomorrow remember.’

  ‘Sure.’

  At that moment Selina came into the kitchen. ‘Sorry to hog your phone for so long Cass.’

  ‘That’s quite all right,’ I said stiffly. Stevie clocked my body language. He gave me a curious look as he stood up to follow Toby. ‘Selina, this is Stevie. Toby and Livvy’s father.’

  She held out a hand. ‘How do you do?’

  ‘I do very well thank you Selina,’ said Stevie switching on the charm as he shook her hand. He held it a fraction longer than necessary.

  ‘I’m a colleague of Jamie’s,’ Selina explained.

  ‘Lucky Jamie,’ Stevie winked.

  ‘And Selina is also the fiancée of Jamie’s business partner,’ I added.

  ‘He’s lucky too,’ Stevie grinned.

  ‘We’re watching Paranormal Activity,’ Toby said to Selina. ‘Would you like to see it too?’

  ‘I absolutely adore scary films,’ Selina clapped her hands together, ‘and crisps,’ she added.

  ‘Cool. You can sit next to me Selina,’ said Toby. He puffed his chest out importantly. Clearly my son was thrilled to bits knowing he’d have Dad on one side and crumpet on the other. I stared after them as they piled out of the kitchen. Well don’t mind me. Do make free with my house. And my bags of crisps. I stood up to shut the larder door. When was that wretched woman going home?

  Wandering into the lounge, I picked up the remote control. Snuggling down with a cushion, I found myself watching a repeat of The Real Hustle. A little while later Jamie came in.

  ‘There’s all sorts of shrieks and screams coming from Toby’s bedroom,’ he said as he sat down next to me. ‘I just stuck my head around the door and it’s like a cinema in there. I see Stevie’s here,’ Jamie put an arm around me, ‘and batting his eyelashes at Selina.’

  ‘I wonder if she’ll flirt back.’

  ‘Unlikely. I’ve told you before. She’s nuts about Ethan.’

  ‘Yes, she went to great lengths to expound that fact when she paid a little visit to me upstairs earlier on. She apologised profusely for all the past behaviour. Assured me she was a born-again sane person.’ I gave Jamie a re-run of the conversation.

  ‘You see,’ he squeezed me reassuringly. ‘I told you she was sorry. Give her a tiny bit of credit for having the bottle to talk to you.’

  ‘Huh,’ I rolled my eyes.

  ‘What are you watching?’ Jamie went to take the remote control from me, a sure sign that channel hopping was about to take place. I clung on to it possessively.

  ‘I’m watching unsuspecting members of the public being duped by con artists. I can’t believe people can be so gullible.’

  ‘That’s because conmen can be convincing. It happened to you once,’ Jamie gave me a sidelong look.

  ‘What are you talking about?’ I spluttered.

  ‘Do you remember the time those two guys rang the doorbell and wanted to use our phone?’

  I screwed up my face in concentration. Flipped backwards through pages of memory. ‘Y-e-s. They’d had a puncture, and neither of them had a mobile phone.’

  ‘That’s right. And you were more than happy to invite them in to use our telephone.’

  ‘Where is this leading to exactly?’

  Jamie whipped the remote out of my hand and turned the volume down. ‘Do you also remember one of them asking to use the toilet while the other made his phone call?’

  ‘I do as it happens. I directed him to the loo down the hallway.’

  ‘Well I never told you this Cassie, but the guy came into our kitchen – where I happened to be sitting at the table quietly reading the newspaper. He looked quite shocked when he walked in and saw me. He clearly thought it was just you at home that day.’

  ‘Credit me with some sense Jamie. I wouldn’t have invited strangers into the house if you hadn’t been around.’

  ‘Yes, but the point is they were opportunists. And they took a chance you might be on your own.’

  ‘So what happened when this bloke saw you sitting there?’

  ‘Oh he made some spurious excuse about mistaking the kitchen for the cloakroom. So I re-directed him and waited outside while he went through the motions of flushing the chain, before leading him back down the hallway. His mate finished his pretend phone call, and then I waved them both off the premises.’

  ‘So how do you know they weren’t legitimate?’ I frowned.

  ‘Did you see a flat tyre on their vehicle?’

  ‘Gosh I don’t know. Not as such no. I didn’t go out there and demand to inspect the puncture if that’s what you mean. It’s not something anybody would do is it?’

  ‘Exactly. And none of their tyres were flat. And as they drove off I made a note of the registration number. It turned out the van was stolen.’

  ‘No!’ I gasped. ‘Why didn’t you tell me this at the time?’

  ‘You were pregnant with Eddie and I didn’t want to frighten you. But I’m telling you now. So be warned Cassie. Be vigilant and have your wits about you at all times.’

  ‘Good heavens,’ I muttered faintly.

  The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs could be heard. Stevie and Selina appeared in the lounge doorway.

  ‘Thanks for letting me see the kids Cass,’ said Stevie. ‘I’ll be off now.’

  ‘I must go too,’ said Selina.

  Hurrah. At last.

  ‘Can I call you a taxi?’ I asked quickly, before Jamie could volunteer his services.

  ‘That’s very kind Cass, but no thank you. Stevie is going to pop me home.’ Selina gave Stevie a winning smile. ‘Are you sure you don’t mind? I don’t want to take you out of your way.’

  ‘No trouble at all,’ Stevie assured, as if popping twenty miles to Greenwich and then t
wenty miles home again was nothing more than a five minute round journey.

  ‘Well don’t let us keep you,’ I trilled. Standing up I steered them into the hallway. ‘And no problem seeing the twins, Stevie. Anytime. You’re always welcome.’ I didn’t follow through with a similar assurance to Selina. Hopefully she’d twig my subliminal message. Jamie stood up too and followed everyone to the front door.

  ‘Well good-bye,’ Selina hovered, unsure whether our truce might include pecks on cheeks. They didn’t.

  ‘Good-bye,’ I opened the door to usher her out. She stood her ground. Looked at Jamie.

  ‘I’ll see you at the apartment in the morning.’

  ‘Sure,’ Jamie nodded.

  Selina gave me a look. I could have sworn it was one of triumph. ‘My car,’ she said by way of explanation.

  Ah yes. The car with an abundance of mechanical problems. How convenient. It occurred to me that in the space of just a few hours this woman had achieved both my husband and ex-husband running around after her. Stevie placed the palm of one hand in the small of Selina’s back and guided her out into the night. There followed a few more goodnights and words of thanks before they finally took their leave. I shut the door after them.

  ‘What’s the matter Cassie? You look like you’ve swallowed a wasp.’

  ‘That woman.’ I drew in a breath. ‘She doesn’t fool me for one moment.’

  ‘What are you talking about now?’ Jamie gave a sigh of exasperation.

  ‘You’ve just finished giving me a pep talk about conmen. Instructed me to have my wits about me at all times. Well frankly, darling, you should heed your own advice.’

  ‘How do you work that one out Cassie?’ Jamie took me by the hand as we walked back to the lounge.

  ‘Because I can’t shake the feeling that Selina is conning the lot of us.’

  Chapter Ten

  The letterbox clattered as it spewed forth a new day’s delivery from the Royal Mail. Envelopes fell in an untidy pile on the doormat. I bent down and gathered everything up. Walking into the kitchen, I nearly tripped over Wallace and Gromet. The cats were waiting patiently for their breakfast, tails folded primly over paws. As soon as they saw me, they began a cacophony of yowling. Wallace stood up and weaved around my ankles. I frisbeed the post onto the kitchen table, and got on with opening a tin of cat food. Jamie came into the kitchen, Eddie in his arms.