Spend My Life with You

by Donna Hill

  The question was so out of left field that it caught him off guard, making him hesitate a split second too long.

  Lee Ann held up her hand. “Never mind. Don’t answer.” She pushed her plate aside. “I’m tired. I’m ready to go.”

  Preston wasn’t sure what was happening—only that in the blink of an eye things had made a wrong turn. And for the first time in all the nights that they’d spent together since they’d met, they didn’t make love.

  He was sure she wasn’t asleep even though she hadn’t moved a muscle since she got under the covers and pulled the sheet up to her neck. He stared up at the sky twinkling through the skylight. This was their last night together—a lousy ending to a perfect two weeks. She wanted honesty but wouldn’t give him the opportunity to be honest. He thought they’d gotten past the whole Charlotte thing until she sprung that question on him. He couldn’t understand why she needed to ask. He was with her, not Charlotte.

  The more he thought about it, the more pissed off he became. If that’s all it took to shake them up, what chance did they have of surviving the real bumps in the road? If she thought that he still had feelings for Charlotte, after everything that she’d done to him, then she didn’t know him at all. He flopped over onto his side, giving Lee Ann his back. Fine, if that’s the way she wanted it. Fine.

  Lee Ann lay curled up in a ball as if wrapping herself up could provide some kind of barricade. She was miserable. Why couldn’t he answer her? What was the hesitation in his eyes? Did he really have to think about it? She knew what it was like to wonder “what if?” She’d played that mind game with herself for months—even years—after she and Maxwell broke up. What if I’d been more understanding, taller, better in bed, prettier, funnier, the daughter of someone else. The questions tumbled around in her head until she thought she’d go out of her mind. Did he ever wonder “what if?” when it came to Charlotte? And that question plagued her throughout the night.

  The car was in front of the bungalow at 6:00 a.m. ready to take them to the airport. Preston and Lee Ann moved about the space and each other like strangers, only passing the barest of niceties between them. They sat on opposite sides of the limo, staring out of opposite windows, both wondering why things had gone so wrong.

  Chapter 12

  They’d already planned for the car to drop off Lee Ann at home and take Preston to his place before bringing him to the airport so that he could head right out to Washington. But with their current stalemate the parting seemed much more profound, much more permanent.

  Preston helped her with her bags and brought them up to the front door. They stood awkwardly next to each other, neither knowing what to say to make everything all right again.

  “You need me to bring those in for you?”

  “No. Thanks,” she said, hoping that she didn’t sound as sad and frightened as she felt. “I can manage.”

  Preston shoved his hands in his pockets and nodded. “Well, I’ve got to get going.”

  She swallowed over the knot in her throat and lowered her head so that he wouldn’t see the tears that were threatening to spill. “Okay. Have a safe flight.”

  He started to touch her.

  She held her breath.

  Preston turned and strode toward the waiting limo and didn’t look back.

  Lee Ann knew that she was going to crumble into a million pieces. She needed to get inside, get to her room before she fell apart all over her front steps.

  Fighting back tears, she reached for the doorknob just as it was being turned on the side. The door swung open. And when she saw her brother, Rafe, whatever willpower she had to keep from crumbling was lost. She buried her face in his chest and wept.

  Instinctively, he wrapped his arms protectively around her. “It’s all right. It’s all right, cher.” His dark eyes flew to scan the property, and it took him a minute to realize that she wasn’t hurt, at least not physically. “Come on, let’s get you inside.”

  “My bags,” she muttered, wiping at her eyes.

  “Forget the bags. They’ll be fine. Come on.” He shoved the door closed and ushered her into the study on the ground floor and shut the door behind them. “Come on. Sit down. Take a breath.”

  She bobbed her head and slumped down on the small sofa. Rafe pulled up the office chair and sat in front of her.

  “You want to tell me what’s wrong?”

  “It’s…all so stupid,” she managed.

  “Okay. What’s so stupid?”

  “Everything,” she sniffed.

  Rafe’s brows rose and fell. He pursed his lips in thought. “You’re probably right, but what in particular about everything is stupid?”

  “Preston,” she blurted out.

  Rafe’s chest filled. “Did he hurt you?” He clasped her shoulders, shocking her with the intensity of his grip. “Tell me, Lee Ann.” His nostrils flared. “I swear, if he hurt you I’ll break him in half, I don’t give a damn if…”

  “Rafe, please. It’s not like that.”

  “Then tell me what it’s like, Lee Ann,” he said, trying to get a grip on his boiling temper. “I promised him if he even thought about hurting you I—”

  “We…I got upset about another woman.”

  He shook his head in confusion. “Another woman? In Cancun?”

  “No.” She shook her head and tried to get her thoughts together. She wiped her eyes and folded her hands in her lap. Slowly she told him about the conversation they’d had from start to finish and how he reacted when she’d asked him about Charlotte.

  Rafe sat back in the chair and tried to keep from laughing. This wasn’t anywhere near as bad as he’d thought. “Darlin’, take it from a man who’s found himself in all manners of mess with women. Here is a man who has confessed to being in love with you, opening up to you about a woman from his past, telling you that he promises that the future is going to be open and honest and you turn around and ask him is he over some woman that he clearly doesn’t care about.”

  “Then why didn’t he tell me in the first place when she showed up?”

  “There’s something you need to understand about men. There’s three things that we do: protect, profess and provide. His not telling you was not to lie to you or him hiding something from you. It was to protect you from that part of his life that hurt him. Men don’t ever really want the woman that they care about to see them weak or humbled. And he professed his love to you.”

  Lee Ann turned it all over in her head. She knew she had overreacted, and it created a snowball effect. The entire thing had gotten blown up out of proportion, and she had no one to blame but herself.

  “I told you it was stupid,” she said sheepishly.

  Rafe chuckled. “Yeah, you did.”

  “I should call him.”

  Rafe nodded. “So he’s made up his mind about Paulsen?”

  “He says he has.”

  “Do you believe him?”

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “Good. I’d hate to think that he would take the bait. It’s not worth it in the long run. It’s one of the main reasons I don’t want any part of politics. It’s a big payola operation.”

  “But things do get accomplished.”

  “Yeah.” He chuckled. “They get things accomplished in spite of themselves.” He stood. “Call him.”

  “I will.”

  “And next time give the man a chance. That’s what’s wrong with women always ready to jump to conclusions,” he muttered as he walked out.

  Lee Ann sniffed back the rest of her tears, wiped her eyes and tried to figure out what to say to Preston.

  The car was waiting for him outside of his house. He dropped his suitcases in the closet, tossed a few things in his carryall, talked with Merna and roughed up Rocky before he headed back out to the airport.

  Sitting in the back of the limo he thought about the weeks ahead, the long days and nights, all of them possibly spent without the hope of having Lee Ann at the end of the rainbow.

  He
wasn’t sure what had stopped him from simply telling her that he didn’t have feelings for Charlotte. He just couldn’t get his mind wrapped around the idea that she would even ask him that after everything he’d said, everything they’d shared, the new place that they’d arrived at. It knocked him for a loop. And she took that hesitation to mean something that it didn’t.

  The driver took the turn onto the highway leading to the airport. Preston watched the city disappear behind him.

  Lee Ann paced the length of her bedroom listening to Preston’s phone ring until it went to voice mail. Each time, she hung up. She should leave a message, she kept telling herself, but she didn’t. She’d initially tried him at home, hoping to catch him, but Merna said she’d just missed him. She been calling his cell phone ever since.

  Frustrated, she tossed her phone on the bed and decided to wait until later and try again. She decided to go through her suitcase and get out the gifts for her sisters before they came home, when she remembered she’d never brought her bags in from the front steps. Hopefully Rafe at least put them in the house on his way out.

  She went back downstairs, expecting to see her luggage by the door. She stopped in her tracks.

  “Your brother let me in.”

  “But I thought…you should be at the airport. You’ll miss your flight.” Her legs shook as she came down the rest of the stairs.

  Preston walked to her, meeting her on the bottom step. “I couldn’t get on a plane and leave things the way they were between us.”

  “I’m sorry. It was silly and insecure…”

  He put his finger to her lips. “Let me say this now, once and for all. It’s over between me and Charlotte. It has been for a very long time. Whatever feelings I had for her, I left in the church years ago.” He stepped closer. “I love you. You. And I need you to know that you can trust me—trust me with your secrets, your dreams, your fears, your heart. And I won’t betray that trust.”

  Tears of joyful relief slid down her cheeks.

  “Those are happy tears, I hope.”

  She nodded and wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing her mouth to his, sinking into the security of his embrace, the sweetness of his kiss. Her heart soared. “I love you,” she murmured against his mouth.

  “Tell me again.”

  “I love you,” she said, tossing her head back, her voice filled with laughter.

  Preston held her tighter, kissed her exposed neck. “Now that we have that straight,” he said, his breath hot and intoxicating against the length of her neck.

  “How much time do you have?” she asked in a thready whisper.

  He looked into her eyes, and a slow grin moved across his mouth. “Why?”

  “We’re the only ones home.” She started backing up the stairs.

  “I guess I can catch a later flight.”

  Chapter 13

  Preston returned to Washington renewed and determined to rid himself of the albatross of Paulsen and Charlotte before things got out of hand, and also to gain an audience with the president, neither of which would be easy as the commander in chief was managing two wars—the economic war at home and the war on terrorism abroad—and he was relying on the House and the Senate to do their jobs, the ones the people had elected them to do.

  He hadn’t been back in Washington for a good week when he got a call from Charlotte wanting to know if they could meet for lunch—just to talk.

  Do you still have feelings for her? The question continued to haunt him even though the issue was resolved between him and Lee Ann. But he needed to settle it for himself once and for all. He’d agreed to meet her downtown at two at Buddy’s, a place they were both familiar with.

  When he looked for a parking space at the restaurant, Preston spotted Charlotte seated at one of the outdoor tables. As usual, she looked like she was ready for a photo shoot. He watched her work her show with the waiter, who nearly tripped over himself to get her the drink she’d ordered. There was no question that she was a gorgeous woman. But she had a heart of stone. No soul. Charlotte Dupree would auction off her own mother if she thought it could get her what she wanted.

  What was he doing here? Why even risk being seen with her? To prove to himself that he could withstand her charms? Looking at her through untinted eyes, he finally realized that he was over her and what he’d felt for her all those years ago wasn’t love but lust. He knew what love was now, and he had no intention of screwing it up.

  He pulled into a parking space across the street from where she was seated and got out of the car. Checking traffic, he walked across the street and came up beside her.

  She looked up over her dark shades. “There you are. I was beginning to think I’d been stood up.”

  “I’m not staying. I’m not even sitting.”

  She frowned. “What are you talking about? I thought we were having lunch.”

  “No, Charlotte, we’re not having lunch. We’re not having anything. I let unfinished business with us pull me back into even having a conversation with you. My mistake. It’s over, Charlotte. We’re done. I don’t want or need your so-called help. I don’t want your phone calls. I wish you all the best. I really do. I hope whatever it is you’re looking for you eventually find. I finally did.” He looked at her, and for a moment he thought he actually saw real hurt in her eyes. “Take care of yourself.” He turned and walked away, secure in the knowledge that chapter of his life was finally closed.

  When he returned to his office, he took Anthony Paulsen’s card from his wallet. He took his cell phone out of his jacket pocket and dialed his number. He answered on the third ring.

  “Senator Graham, great to hear from you. I hope you’ve come to a decision about having us help support your efforts.”

  “Yes, I have thought about it. The answer is no. I’d rather do things my way.”

  “But Senator…”

  “The answer is no. But I’m sure you’ll find someone who is willing to sell their soul. It just happens not to be me.” He disconnected the call and suddenly felt like celebrating.

  There was a light knock on his door.

  “Yes?”

  “Senator, the president’s scheduling secretary is on the phone.”

  “Thanks, Denise.”

  He drew in a steadying breath and waited for his secretary to close the door behind her before he picked up the phone. He cleared his throat.

  “This is Senator Graham.”

  “Good afternoon. The president wants to know if you are available tomorrow at 3:15 p.m.?”

  “I’ll make myself available.”

  “Wonderful. I’ll let the president know, and we’ll see you tomorrow.”

  Slowly he hung up the phone. This was it. This was his opportunity. He rubbed his jaw. He wasn’t going to blow it. He picked up the phone and dialed Paul’s number. They agreed to meet at Preston’s apartment when Paul finished overseeing the editing of the evening news segment.

  “I told you, man,” Paul said as he took a long swallow of his Corona. “He already knows you are a man of action. He’s seen you and worked with you on the ground. All you have to do is present your plan. It’s a winner. It only needs the right backing to make it fly.”

  Preston smiled. “I know. If we can just get one model into operation,” he said, holding up one finger, “it will be replicated across the country.”

  “Have you told Lee Ann about it?”

  “Not yet. I wanted to tell her when I knew something.” He focused on the contents of his glass.

  “What aren’t you telling me?”

  “She doesn’t really know anything about it.”

  Paul leaned forward. “Why?”

  “Because her father oversees that committee. He’s the one who has been pushing for the votes for the current education reform bill to pass. He’s worked on it for the past year. If I come in there wanting to turn things around and go against Senator Lawson in the process…”

  Paul held up his hand. “I get it. And you see
ing his daughter only compounds your problem.”

  “Exactly.” He finished off his beer.

  “Well, buddy, a private meeting with the president of the United States doesn’t stay ‘secret’ very long.”

  Lee Ann walked across the grounds of the college campus intent on getting home and cooling off. It was only the middle of June, and the temperatures had skyrocketed. Fortunately there was only a week left of classes before the summer break. And summer break for her also meant summer break for Preston. She smiled to herself as she approached the parking lot. With so many measures needing to be dealt with in Washington, her and Preston’s time together was becoming more and more limited. More often than not he worked so late on Fridays that he couldn’t catch a flight out, and leaving on Saturday morning to arrive late afternoon only to turn right back around was exhausting for him at best. So she’d started coming down on Thursday evenings since her last class was Wednesday. It worked out, and she was slowly shedding her cloak of guilt for leaving her sisters and brothers. As Teresa kept reminding her, they were grown, and if they didn’t know how to take care of themselves by now then they had a lot more to worry about than her being gone for a couple of days per month.

  She would just be glad when they were both free to see each other. Even though they didn’t talk about the strain of commuting, it was beginning to wear on them both. Preston had been unusually edgy over the past few days. Their late-night talks were short and often devoid of their passion and promises. Talking to each other late at night was what helped to bridge the distance between them. When she mentioned it to him last night, he told her to hang on. He would tell her everything tonight when they talked.

  She couldn’t imagine what it was. She deactivated the alarm on her car and was just opening the door when she was stopped by a young woman who at first she thought was one of her students until she showed her identification.

  “The Advocate?” Lee Ann frowned in confusion. The woman was a reporter for the Baton Rouge press. “All of the media for the college is handled by the main office.” She started to open her door.