Wherever My Heart Roams (Brides of the West Series Book Nine)

by Rita Hestand

  "I sometimes wish I were. You mesmerize me Beth." He smiled then leaned to kiss her once more.

  She still had the gown on, and when he pulled her into his arms, he crushed her against him. He groaned loudly.

  She pulled away quickly this time, not wanting the kiss to consume them, especially if he was going to be so noble about it. "As long as you kiss me, I don't mind the tease." She chuckled.

  But it was a tempered kiss, not meant to enflame her senses.

  "I'd like to start making your breakfast in the mornings." She told him, as she tried to recover from the near full blown kiss.

  "You would? Why?"

  "Yes, because I'm your wife and I should prepare some of your meals at least." She told him. "How else will you know that I'm a good cook?"

  "You don't consider it a chore?"

  "Not at all. I'd like you to taste my cooking. I'm a fine cook." She insisted. "What's the use of learning something if you don't use the talent."

  "Alright, tomorrow you can start, but this morning we'll eat in the dining room with mother, if that's alright with you."

  "It's very alright." She smiled.

  Chapter Ten

  Mother Cahill was sitting at the table, in a dark purple silk dress, and a big feathered hat. She looked like a queen or something. But she didn't intimidate Beth a bit. Beth liked her, just the way she was.

  "Good morning," Beth smiled at her.

  Mother Cahill glanced up at her, and her dress. "That's a very pretty little outfit."

  "Your son bought it for me, from New Orleans. You might as well know right now, I only had two dresses to my name when he found me." Beth whispered. "I come from a very poor, but happy family."

  Mother Cahill smiled, "I like her Wade, I really do. She doesn't put on airs. As beautiful as she is, she's so natural."

  "Should I? Put on airs?" Beth asked as the waiter poured her another cup of coffee. She thanked him, something Mother Cahill noticed quickly and winked at Wade.

  "Not on your life." His mother sent her a wink.

  "Mother Cahill, Wade says we'll be stopping off at port tomorrow, would you like to go ashore with me?" Beth asked.

  The older woman glanced at her with a slight frown, "I don't get around as easily as you."

  "Oh, no worries about that, I'll be glad to help, that is if you don't mind." Beth asked waiting for her answer.

  Mother Cahill shot Wade a incredulous look, then stared at Beth. "Usually I do, but I am sure you are quick on your feet and I will need some help keeping up with you, so the help would be appreciated. Thank you. And I'd love to go."

  "Wonderful. Let's plan on it." Beth said looking up at her husband.

  "Well, all must have gone well. I haven't seen a smile on Wade's face this early in the morning in a long time." Mother Cahill chuckled.

  Beth blushed. This was one thing she didn't know how to talk about.

  Wade saw her perplexed look and sat down beside her, taking her hand in his. "We had a wonderful night mother, Beth and I are off to a good start."

  "I'm glad. Perhaps you will see to having some grandchildren for me before long…" Mother Cahill blurted.

  Wade wasn't at all shocked. "One thing at a time…we're still on our honeymoon."

  Beth smiled at him. As far as she was concerned, the honeymoon hadn't started yet.

  "That General came by this morning. Wanted to know where you were. I told him you were on your honeymoon, but he certainly seemed persistent."

  Wade's smile turned sour, and he looked out over the water through the open curtains. "I suppose I will have to speak to him sooner or later. I hate to tell the two of you this, but the war has started."

  "You aren't getting involved in the disputes are you?" His mother asked, with concern.

  "They aren't just disputes any longer, mother. I’m doing my best not to. I've told Beth and I suppose it's time you knew, they want me to join the north. Very soon in fact. Mississippi and eleven other states have seceded from the union. They are talking of electing a President of the Confederacy."

  Beth gasped. "Then it is happening, isn't it?"

  "Yes, it is. The states are already making plans for some form of government. "

  "You don't think it will really happen do you? I've heard the rumors from our own passengers, but I refused to believe it would come to all-out war." His mother put her napkin in her lap and sipped the rest of her coffee.

  "I'm afraid it already has. Things are escalating mother. That's the reason the General is so insistent. The north needs the crops from the south, and the south needs everything from the north."

  "But the south cannot possibly win!" She declared.

  Wade frowned, "Keep your voice down dear, we don't want to alarm anyone."

  She glanced about. "Can they?" she whispered.

  "I don't know mother. We haven't the resources that the north has, that's true enough. Problem is, it took a war to wake us up to to the fact."

  "They want you to enlist?" His mother looked disturbed now. "In the north?"

  "This boat would be an asset and they know it. If the north got control of it, they could transport men, ammunition, and many other things through the south. I don't intend being put in the middle. And I won't let them use this boat to do battle."

  "Can you avoid it?" She asked staunchly.

  "I don't know. But I'll sure try." He announced.

  Beth put her hand on his. "Surely it won't come to that."

  "It could easily come to that." Wade muttered. "The tension now is unbearable. Everyone is talking about it. It isn't going away…"

  "Can't you stop them from taking this boat?" His mother asked.

  "I'm not sure I want to…"

  "What are you saying?" His mother gasped.

  "We'll talk of this later, mother, but not here and now." Wade told her and the look on his face told him he would not allow her to control this.

  She nodded, "We certainly will…"

  "Now, while you ladies are enjoying the sites tomorrow I'll be playing some poker." Wade announced changing the subject. Beth sensed he didn't want to talk of the war any longer and hoped his mother wouldn't insist. "However, keep your eyes and ears open as you go about and if you see any trouble, come back to the boat immediately. Understand."

  "Of course we do," His mother nodded. "What kind of trouble, though?"

  "I don't really know yet…but there could be trouble."

  "We'll shop a bit, have lunch and come back then." His mother told him.

  "That's a good idea. Things are in chaos right now. I don't want anything happening to either of you." Wade told them.

  When the Captain came to find him, Wade excused himself and they went off to talk.

  Beth watched until Wade was out of sight.

  "Don't you fret now. Even if they have a war, it won't last long…" His mother was saying.

  Beth looked doubtful. "I can't imagine…I wonder if Texas has seceded from the Union."

  But her question was answered when she saw a newspaper laying on a table that afternoon.

  "Texas, the seventh state to secede the Union has joined the confederacy on March 2, 1861."

  Beth stared at the paper for a long time. No wonder Wade had been so worried. So many states had seceded.

  War was inevitable.

  Her mind ran rampant. What would her family do? Would they be alright. She feared for them.

  Mother Cahill had gone to take a nap, and she went outside to the railing to watch the water. Wade always helped her to her bed, so he left with her.

  As Beth stared out over the water, she felt its beauty was now marred by the talk of war. Usually the gentle movement of the water calmed her nerves, but not now.

  Beth wondered what that General wanted of Wade. Why had he been so persistent?

  She looked across the countryside and wondered if it would ever be the same again.

  Her stomach roiled.

  Part of her wanted to go home and hide, the
other part wanted to hang on to Wade. They had come into a perfect world here, on the water. His mother liked her, she was falling in love with her husband…

  When had that happened? When had she decided it was love?

  She knew…it was when she saw that war was imminent. She could lose her husband. A husband she had barely gotten to know. A husband, she hadn't shared herself with.

  Panic squeezed her insides together.

  A war was threatening her perfect life.

  She leaned heavily against the railing.

  "Beth, honey, are you alright?"

  "It's just…I saw…"

  "You saw what?" Wade asked taking her into his arms.

  "Texas seceded from the Union."

  "I know…I didn't want to alarm you or mother. How did you find out?"

  "There was a paper on a table. I saw lots of people gathering, talking. I wondered what was going on. When they left, I went to their table and saw the paper. I can't believe it."

  "I know honey. Come on, I want to talk to you and mother about this…"

  "Now?" She asked.

  "Yes, now." He insisted.

  "Alright." She let him guide her to the sitting room where he had helped his mother stretch out on a couch.

  He woke her and then he set in front of her and Beth.

  His mother was still a little groggy so he ordered a hot tea for them both and waited until the waiter brought it for them before he began.

  "We are a family, and we have to talk about this. War has been declared, that much is certain." Wade began. "In time all that we now see will have changed. You must prepare yourselves for it. This boat is an important thing to both sides. And I have a plan, it's bold, it's a gamble, but I think it will work."

  "What is it?" Beth asked, grabbing his mother's hand and holding it securely.

  "They want me to join the North." Wade announced letting that sink in.

  "But…you can't. You’re a southerner." Beth cried.

  "I will join, but I want the two of you to know something here and now, and only the two of you, no one else must know." Wade made them both promise. "Not the employees of the is boat, not anyone. Do you understand?"

  "Of course…what is your plan?" His mother looked him in the eye.

  "I'll join the north. But I'll spy for the south also. I've already got a connection. It's arranged."

  Beth's mouth flew open. "A spy."

  "But you must never say that word again, honey. Never."

  Beth nodded numbly.

  "They are gonna want to use this boat for transporting purposes. That's fine, at least that way I'll know what they are transporting and when. I've already got a contact, and it's arranged."

  "Have you thought this through. If they catch you they could hang you." His mother frowned.

  "Then I'll have to make sure they don't catch me, won't I?" Wade smiled at her.

  "It's very risky…" his mother cautioned.

  "I know that mother."

  "Do you have to do this," Beth stood up and reached for him.

  He took her in his arms, and held her close. "Yes, I do."

  "Then I want to help." She turned to him and pledged.

  "Help?" He made such a face. "Beth you can't do that; you are a woman."

  "I know that. But I won't let you do this alone…."

  Mother Cahill saw her son protest but stood up and put a hand on both of them. "You're going to need help. Let her help you. Let us both help you. You can instruct us, and we can do things for you as you need. We'll be here for your back. You're going to need our support all you can get."

  "I can't risk it." He nearly shouted. "I can't and won't risk losing either of you."

  "I want to help," Beth pleaded, and tiptoed to kiss his lips, right there in front of his mother.

  "God help me…." he murmured and finally pushed her away. "We'll see…" He conceded.

  She nodded and smiled.

  "No matter who questions you, you must never tell." Wade told them.

  They both nodded.

  "From this moment on, the ship is our first priority." He informed them. "It has to be. Now, a lot of things will look as though I'm working for the north. But you must always remember that my loyalty is with the south. Even if we lose. I don't think that will change, but if it does, I'll tell you both."

  "Is that possible?" His mother asked. "That we might lose?"

  "Very…"

  Again they nodded.

  "This isn't a game…" He warned. "It's going to be very dangerous. Some things I'll have to do whether I want to or not. I want you both to understand that. At times it may look as though I am for the one side, when I'm doing it for the other side. You must cope with me. Trust me."

  His mother nodded. "Of course. But you must realize that you could be hung by either side if they knew."

  "I do realize that, but I don't intend getting caught. And from time to time, I might need your help, both of you."

  "We'll do whatever we need to do to help you." Beth assured him.

  Chapter Eleven

  Beth had readied herself for going portside and was dressed in a beautiful green outfit when Mother Cahill came down the special ramp that Wade had built just for her. She looked like some queen, dressed so elegantly in her silks and big feather hat.

  "You look beautiful, my dear." Mother Cahill took her hands.

  "As do you. I'll have to watch those older men; someone might try to sweep you away." Beth chuckled.

  "I have to admit, I'm rather excited about getting out. I haven't been on land in ages and I'm afraid my sea legs might not support me." She chuckled.

  "We'll have a wonderful time." Beth assured her.

  "Where is Wade this morning?" Mother Cahill asked.

  "He's in a poker game. He said if there is any sign of trouble to come back to the ship immediately." Beth told her.

  "Of course. But we won't have a bit. I just know it. There is this perfect little tea shop I can't wait to show you. I haven't been there in years." Mother Cahill's voice lilted.

  "Sounds wonderful."

  Beth let Mother Cahill push herself until the unloading ramp became congested with so many people. She then pushed her gently down the ramp, exclaiming to a few men with no manners that a lady was trying to get through.

  Everyone seemed to stop and look at Mother Cahill, and apologized.

  Beth led her off the boat then with ease.

  The landing was packed with people too and getting through the crowds was no easy feat, but Beth managed. She noticed many flatboats and keelboats unloading freight, so this created a lot of traffic and people.

  Along the riverbanks many homes could be spotted perched majestically high on cliffs above the river.

  "Cotton and sugarcane are the biggest crops here, and there are many plantations built along the river in Mississippi, one reason it is so beautiful here. A lot of the homes are Greek architecture. Quite beautiful."

  "I've never seen such huge homes in my life. I was out on deck admiring some of them before we docked."

  "You must have gotten up early dear."

  "Yes, I was excited about going inland this morning." Beth smiled at her.

  "I'll admit, I was looking forward to this, myself."

  "Does everyone here have so much money?" Beth asked.

  "No…not at all. Mississippi has a lot of slave labor, that's the only way all this can be accomplished. The plantations are huge and it takes a lot of people to work them. But you'll find many nationalities here too, French, Indian, African, and Spanish."

  "I didn't realize…"

  "Oh my yes. A long time ago, the French and Indians dominated Natchez."

  "You know so much about it…"

  "I've been here often, in the earlier days." Mother Cahill explained wistfully. "The Choctaw Indians dominated this area until Andy Jackson had them put on reservation lands. And then back in 1840 there was a great tornado, killed over three hundred people, mostly people on the flat
boats, but it took a lot of lives. They still talk about it a lot, they called it "The Great Natchez Tornado".

  "How awful. Well, I've witnessed a few back in Texas too."

  "Yes, and this is a slave trading city. Forks of the Road Market is where many slaves were bought and sold. We won't be going around there."

  "How terrible for them…" Beth whispered.

  "Yes, I agree, Beth…" Mother Cahill glanced up at her and saw real tears in her eyes.

  A group of young soldiers were standing on a street corner and Beth couldn't help but stare. They wore gray uniforms and looked quite happy.

  She overheard some of their conversation as they passed.

  "We'll whip Grant and his bunch in no time…"

  "Yeah, he won't know what hit him. Yeah, I hear they want old Jeff Davis to run for President of the Confederacy."

  "But ain't he the Senator here in Mississippi?"

  "Yeah, but he resigned that position as soon as we seceded. He'll lick that Yankee General in no time, wait and see."

  Beth wondered at their confidence.

  Beth also noticed a strange flag, it looked a lot like the American flag, but had stars and bars, the stars in a circle.

  "Let's get a buggy and ride around?" Beth suggested when she saw several ladies riding in them.

  Mother Cahill nodded, "Over there…"

  After renting a buggy, they drove around some of the famous homes in the area. "You know Beth some of the richest people in our country live here."

  "Really, I don't doubt it. I've never seen homes like these. So big you could put several families in them."

  Around noon, Mother Cahill directed Beth to a small café and they ate. There were a lot of customers as Natchez was a busy city. Finely dressed women with beautiful hats and lovely clothes adorned the café.

  People were all muttering about the war and its outcome. The way they talked this war wouldn't last a month. That was a relief, Beth thought.

  But Mother Cahill shook her head. "They are all day-dreaming. This is a serious matter and Lincoln won't rest until he has all the states back in the Union. They are wrong Beth. This war will be long and bloody and you and I must do everything we can to help. And as divided as people are, fathers will be fighting their own sons in this war. I hate to see it come to this, but there is no stopping it"