'Til I Kissed You

by Pam Howes

  ***

  As the song came to an end Roy put down his guitar and thanked everyone for coming. A huge cake, adorned with eighteen-lighted candles, was carried on stage and everyone joined in a rousing Happy Birthday to Nick, who stood in-between his proud parents and Jess. He blew out the candles then amidst cheers, pulled Jess off the stage, out of the marquee and back into the garage.

  He unlocked the passenger door of his new car and she climbed in. He clambered in beside her and turned his face to hers. ‘I know we can’t go anywhere tonight, but I wanted to sit in it for a while with you.’ He took her in his arms and kissed her long and hard. ‘Do you promise to love me always, Jessie-Babes?’

  ‘For ever and ever, Nick.’ She shivered as he looked deep into her eyes.

  ‘Are you cold?’ He rubbed her bare arms and pulled her closer.

  ‘No. A little ghost just ran across my grave, as Gran would say. Strange, really.’ She smiled reassuringly and kissed him.

  ‘You are staying tonight and not going back with your parents?’ Nick ran his hands through her long hair.

  ‘Of course I’m staying. We’re a proper couple now. I’m not leaving you on your own. But are you capable, Nick?’ she teased.

  ‘Of course I am. I’m a Cantello, we’re always capable. Let’s go and say goodnight to my guests and then I’ll show you just how capable I am!’

  They clambered out and he shut the car doors carefully, gave the bonnet a loving stroke and locked the garage door.

  ‘Come along, Nick, your guests are waiting to go,’ Sammy called out to him.

  ‘Good,’ he whispered to Jess. ‘The quicker they go the sooner I can drag you off to bed!’

  ***

  Roy placed his arm around Sammy’s shoulders as he watched Nick saying goodbye to his friends. ‘The present went down very well, didn’t it, love?’ He looked into her cool blue eyes and added, ‘I fancy you in this slinky dress, Mrs C.’ He ran his hand down her back and caressed the top of her thighs through the fine fabric. ‘It’s so silky and soft I can almost feel your flesh.’

  ‘I chose this fabric and designed the dress especially with you in mind,’ she told him.

  ‘Is that right?’ he grinned. ‘Well it works ’cos you look very sexy in it.’

  ‘You know what I’d like to do, Roy?’ she said, sliding her arms around his waist.

  ‘No. What would you like to do?’ he replied, eyes twinkling.

  ‘I’d like to shag in the marquee when everyone’s gone home,’ she giggled drunkenly.

  ‘Sammy! Actually, you took the words right out of my mouth. I was going to suggest the very same.’ He grinned lasciviously. ‘Our dirty minds obviously think alike.’ He caught a movement to his right and turned to see Livvy observing him holding Sammy close.

  ‘I’m about to leave,’ she told them, looking coolly at Roy. ‘Thank you for a lovely evening, Mr and Mrs Cantello.’

  ‘Roy and Sammy, please, no one calls us Mr and Mrs. It makes us feel so old,’ Sammy said, smiling at Livvy. She was momentarily distracted by Jane who came over to see if she could help with the clearing up.

  Livvy turned and marched into the house. Roy seized his moment and followed her up the stairs to a spare room that was doubling as a cloakroom.

  ‘Livvy?’ He closed the door quietly.

  ‘What?’ She looked at him, eyes brimming with tears.

  ‘Please don’t get upset, love. You know the score.’

  ‘Oh yeah, I know the score all right,’ she spat. ‘You still love her, don’t you?’

  ‘Of course I do. I’ve never lied to you and told you anything different, have I? I’ve always loved Sammy, I always will.’

  ‘And me, Roy, what about me?’

  ‘I love you, too; you know I do. You make me feel wonderful, alive and young again. I do need you, Livvy,’ he replied with honesty.

  Livvy nodded. ‘I need you, too. I can’t be without you, Roy.’

  ‘I’ll try and come over tomorrow night after I leave Eddie at the pub. I won’t be able to stay too long, but we should have an hour or so and then I’ll see you on Monday after work as usual. If there’s a chance tomorrow afternoon to call you I will, but it might be a bit difficult with the house being full. My parents and Sammy’s are staying over and Jason’s mate, Jules, not to mention Jess and Nick, but I’ll try.’

  ‘Okay,’ she nodded. ‘Well, I’ll leave you to make love to Sammy in the marquee then. Have fun!’ She pushed him out of the way and left the room.

  Roy stared after her, shaking his head. She’d obviously overheard every word he and Sammy had said to one another. He sighed, wishing he’d never started the affair in the first place. But he couldn’t finish it; he needed her. Not only that, he didn’t want to stop seeing her.

  ***

  Eddie was standing alone in the hall as Roy walked slowly downstairs.

  ‘Where did you disappear to?’ Eddie asked, frowning.

  ‘Just upstairs,’ Roy said eyes downcast.

  ‘Livvy ran past me looking really upset. What do you know about that?’ Eddie stared closely at Roy, waiting for a reaction.

  ‘We had a few words,’ he muttered sheepishly.

  ‘What about?’

  ‘I’ve been seeing her, Ed. She got a bit upset tonight because I was with Sammy. She finds it hard to handle.’

  ‘What, you mean seeing her as in shagging her?’ Eddie raised an eyebrow.

  ‘Yeah!’ Roy sighed.

  ‘I knew you were up to something. You’ve been secretive lately and that’s not like you. Is this the aftermath of that lunchtime session you had a few months ago? You’re a bloody fool, Roy,’ Eddie continued as Roy sighed again. ‘You’re really playing with fire. Put a stop to it right away. It’ll destroy your marriage if you don’t.’

  ‘I can’t just abandon her, Ed.’ Roy pulled Eddie into the now empty lounge from where Sammy’s mother Molly had just emerged, shooting a curious glance at them, before going upstairs.

  ‘You’ll have to, mate. If she’s upset at seeing you with Sammy then you can bet your life she’ll be spilling the beans before too long. She’ll land you right in the shit!’

  ‘She wouldn’t do that. She knows it’s important to keep the affair secret. I don’t want to hurt her. She’s a lonely little soul. She’ll go to pieces if I finish it.’

  ‘Well stop sleeping with her then. Be her friend, if you must. Be supportive, but encourage her to make friends of her own age.’

  ‘She never goes out anywhere, apart from the odd drink after work with Sean and your Jon and even then she goes home early. She’s a bit timid around men.’

  ‘Well how the fuck did she get so involved with someone like you then?’ Eddie asked.

  ‘That was my fault entirely and you’re right, it followed on from me taking her out to lunch. I couldn’t resist her and she wanted me. She’d never slept with anyone else.’

  ‘Jesus, Roy! She’s only a bit of a kid. How could you?’

  ‘I can’t stay away from her, Ed. I really love her,’ Roy confessed.

  ‘Fucking hell! You love Sammy.’

  ‘Yes, I do. Christ, what a bloody mess.’ Roy shook his head.

  ‘What are you two looking so guilty about?’ Jane asked, walking silently into the lounge, taking them by surprise.

  ‘Nothing, Jane. We’re just talking about the new song-writing contract we’re due to sign next week and whether or not we should sign it if we’re planning on reforming The Raiders,’ Eddie fibbed.

  ‘Well you can do both, surely?’ Jane said, frowning. ‘You did before the band split up.’

  ‘Yes, but look how exhausted I was,’ Eddie replied, glad of the diversion.

  ‘Well the answer to that is don’t do too many tours, pace yourselves. Anyway, Ed, come on, the taxi’s waiting at the front door. Jon and Helen are already in it. Nick and Jess have disappeared upstairs and Sammy’s on her way to the marquee to look for you, Roy.’

  Roy smiled and n
odded. ‘Well in that case I’d better go and find her. Wouldn’t want to disappoint her now, would I? See you both on Monday when we bring the lads and their baggage over for France.’

  ‘Jon wants a 7:00 AM start,’ Jane said. ‘So make sure you crack the whip as early as possible.’

  ‘We’ll be there, Jane. Goodnight.’ Roy patted Eddie on the shoulder, kissed Jane on the cheek and waved them off.

  ***

  Jon and Nick shared the long drive to Portsmouth. They’d borrowed Eddie and Jane’s imported Cherokee Jeep, which was loaded to the gills with bags and guitars. Jess, Helen and Jason were in high spirits, all looking forward to their two week holiday.

  Following Jess’s visit to Helen’s home, her mother had agreed she could go with them. Jess had reassured Sandra that Helen would be sharing a room with her and that she would personally vouch for her daughter’s safety.

  Jon had been overjoyed when Jess returned home with the good news.

  ‘Get her up the stick, Jon and I’ll never forgive you,’ she warned him. ‘That woman was so trusting. I felt awful lying to her about the room sharing.’

  ‘I promise you, Jess, I won’t,’ he reassured her.

  Jane, overhearing their conversation, pursed her lips and started to lecture Jess that it was very wrong to deceive Helen’s mother in that way. She caught sight of Eddie’s raised eyebrows and blushed.

  ‘Like mother, like daughter!’ he muttered, referring to the time she and Sammy had done exactly the same thing, lying to their parents about room sharing in Brighton.

  ‘Okay, I’ll keep my mouth shut. Be very careful, Jon, that’s all we ask. You don’t want to ruin Helen’s future, or yours come to that.’

  ‘I will, Mum, don’t worry,’ he’d replied, laughing at Jane’s crimson face. ‘I promise not to make you a granny before you’re forty!’

  ***

  Jon manoeuvred the Jeep off the ferry in St Malo and, slightly less tired than Nick, drove the three hours to La Croix Hellean where the farmhouse was situated.

  Jess stepped from the vehicle into pitch-blackness and switched on the flash lamp that her dad had advised her to bring.

  ‘Jon, I think you’re amazing. How on earth did you remember the way?’ she said as he took the key from his pocket and unlocked the solid front door.

  He smiled down at her tired face and put his arm around her shoulders. ‘Dad’s directions were pretty good, and also I’m dead smart,’ he replied.

  ‘Yeah,’ she said, laughing, ‘and don’t you bloody know it.’ She switched on the lights and looked around, sniffing the air appreciatively. The whole place smelt pine fresh and clean.

  The flagstone floors gleamed and the old stripped furniture showed signs of being recently waxed. Jess ran lightly upstairs and peeped in the bedrooms where the beds were made up, a welcome sight, ready and waiting. The elderly caretakers had obviously been very busy the previous day, she thought, as she came back into the kitchen.

  ‘Take a look in the fridge,’ Jon said. ‘It’s positively groaning with cheese and ham and salads and stuff. There’s a big bowl of fruit on the table, fresh bread and six bottles of wine.’

  ‘Well we certainly won’t starve for a few days,’ Jess said. ‘Oh look, this is for Nick.’ She picked up an envelope from the table addressed in a spidery hand to Nicholas. ‘It’s probably a birthday card from Madame and Monsieur Delabres. You’d better go and wake the others, Jon or they’ll stay in the Jeep all night. Which bedroom would you and Helen like, Mum and Dad’s or Roy and Sammy’s?’

  ‘Roy and Sammy’s please. I won’t feel quite so guilty in their bed!’

  ‘So I’ve got to feel guilty in my parents’ bed, have I?’ she laughed as Jon put his arms around her and stared into her eyes for a long moment. He gently stroked her cheek.

  ‘You never feel guilty, Jess,’ he said softly. ‘But I tell you one thing, I wish to God I was Nick tonight.’ He bent to kiss her lips, but she moved her head as Jason staggered into the kitchen, rubbing his sleepy eyes, and the kiss brushed her cheek.

  ‘Helen and Nick are awake. We wondered where you two were. Point me in the direction of my bed, Jess, I can hardly stand up.’

  Jess nodded, her head reeling from Jon’s statement. ‘Either of the two singles, Jase,’ she replied, ‘you can take your pick.’

  Nick and Helen strolled in, yawning loudly. ‘Why didn’t you wake us?’ Nick frowned at Jon who still had his arm draped around Jess’s shoulders. ‘How long have we been here? What were you two doing, coming in on your own? Why are you blushing, Jess?’

  Jess sighed and extricated herself from Jon’s arm. Nick’s jealousy was rearing its head, and with good reason, she thought. ‘I’m not blushing. I’ve a headache starting and I feel hot. We were just debating which rooms to have. There’s a card for you on the table over there.’ Jess distracted Nick, shooting a warning glance at Jon.

  Nick picked up the envelope and opened it. ‘It’s a birthday card from Madame and Monsieur Delabres,’ he said. ‘That’s kind of them. Your mum must have told them about my birthday, Jess.’

  ***

  ‘Right, I’m off to bed, I’m so tired I could sleep for a week.’ Jason yawned loudly. ‘G’night you lot.’ He left the others standing in the kitchen and made his way upstairs to the front single bedroom.

  He switched on the bedside lamp and collapsed wearily onto the bed. He kicked off his boots, wriggled out of his jeans and lay back against the pillows. He was missing Jules already. Pity he couldn’t have come with them then he wouldn’t feel such a gooseberry. But with five adults, the mountain of luggage and guitars, there hadn’t been the room to squeeze him safely in. Jason had never met anyone like Jules before and they’d immediately hit it off the day they met and enrolled at college.

  Jules wasn’t from a privileged background like he was. He’d gone to a state school, his Mum was divorced and he was an only child. But there was a connection, yeah, that was the word, Jason thought, he was like the other half, always knowing how he felt and what he was thinking. Nick was always saying that Jess was his soul mate. Well, if it was okay to have a male soul mate, then that’s exactly what Jules was to him. Jason turned on his side, pulled the quilt up to his chin and flicked off the bedside lamp.

  ***

  ‘Come on, Helen, let’s hit the sack.’ Giving Jess a last glance over his shoulder, Jon led Helen upstairs. He threw open the bedroom door, scooped her up in his arms and carried her over the threshold. She squealed with laughter as he bounced her down onto the old brass bedstead, the springs protesting noisily.

  ‘It’s lovely in here,’ Helen said, smiled, running her hand over the white lace bedspread. ‘Very rural France.’

  ‘Yeah, it’s really nice. Mum and Sammy worked hard, shopping at local flea markets and antique shops to get the look.’ Jon glanced round the attractive room. The windows were shuttered against the dark night, but in a few hours the early morning sun would be filtering through the cracks, throwing subdued light on the white painted walls and stripped wooden floors.

  Jon kicked off his shoes, removed his clothes and chucked them untidily onto the floor. He lay naked on the bed next to Helen. ‘Are you leaving your clothes on all night then?’ he teased.

  She smiled shyly and slipped out of her jeans and T-shirt. Jon peeled off her underwear and gazed at her body. Although they’d had sex, he’d never seen her naked as their love making so far had been conducted in his car in the dark. He leant up on one elbow, tracing her face with his fingers. She was a decent looking bird with an amazing body and alright, she wasn’t Jess, but he knew he was lucky that she was there with him.

  ‘I’m so glad your mum agreed to let you come with us,’ he said.

  ‘So am I. Although she would lay an egg if she could see us now. I’d have hated you being away for two weeks without me. You’d have found someone else.’

  ‘I wouldn’t. I’m not like that.’

  ‘Well both you and Jess told me that yo
u’ve had hundreds of girlfriends.’

  ‘I have, but nothing serious.’

  ‘Good.’ She smiled and kissed him.

  ‘Are you too tired to make love?’ he asked.

  ‘No, are you?’

  ‘I’m never too tired and I’ll make love to you properly tonight.’ He turned off the light; took her in his arms and kissed her ‘This is so much better than being squashed up in my car,’ he said, trying to block out the thoughts of Jess with Nick in the bedroom next door.

  ***

  Jess was sitting alone on the doorstep in the early morning sun, smoking a joint when Jon came downstairs.

  ‘All alone, Sis? Where’s Nick?’

  ‘Asleep,’ she replied. ‘There’s fresh coffee in the pot on the stove if you want it.’

  ‘Thanks.’ He poured himself a mug and joined her. ‘Nick been raiding his Dad’s tobacco tin again?’ he asked as she handed the joint over. He took a long toke and handed it back.

  ‘Jon,’ she began, ‘about last night and what you said.’

  ‘Sorry, Jess, I was out of order. I shouldn’t have said anything. Just forget it, please.’ He put his arm around her and pulled her close, kissing the top of her head. ‘What’s wrong, Sis?’ he said as she shivered.

  ‘I don’t know. I had that “falling” dream again and I keep having strange feelings that this can’t all last. I shouldn’t be so happy. Things are going too smoothly.’

  ‘That’s an odd thing to say.’ Studying her serious expression, he could see she wasn’t joking. She looked genuinely worried. ‘Is it because of me? I know Nick’s jealous of our closeness. Or is something wrong between you and Nick?’

  ‘Everything’s fine, most of the time anyway. I’m just being silly. How’s Helen?’

  ‘Sleeping, she’s knackered after that long journey.’

  ‘And you, dear brother wouldn’t be partly responsible for her tiredness, would you?’ She smiled and handed him the remains of the joint.

  ‘Moi?’ He raised an innocent eyebrow. ‘Not me, Sis.’

  Jason appeared in the doorway behind them. ‘Bloody hell, I’m tired!’