Running to Stand Still

by J Theron

  “I used to think so. But now I don’t know. If I loved him, why do I want you to kiss me so desperately?” She trailed her fingers over his lips and he opened his mouth to kiss the tip of her index finger.

  He trailed his hand over her back to where her dress fastened behind her neck and gently tugged at the bow. He watched in fascination as the dress fell away from her upper body, exposing her breasts. He brought his hand around and pushed the dress away completely, not touching her breasts but caressing the skin of her shoulders.

  “I’ve never been with anyone before. I don’t know if I can do this,” she said softly.

  “I want you to kiss me. I’m not expecting sex, Danni. I’ve fantasized about you since I was eighteen years old. I have you in my bed now and I don’t intend to ever let you go.”

  Danielle looked at Michael for a long time. Then she slowly got out of bed. Before he could protest she pulled her dress over her head and slowly pushed down her black lace panties until she was standing naked before him.

  Michael never took his eyes off her as he sat up to push his boxer shorts down. She stared at him in fascination. He was truly the most beautiful man she had ever seen. He had a muscular chest and arms without appearing bulky and his stomach was flat with rippling abdominal muscles. She swallowed when she looked at him. She had seen naked men before, but this was the first time she had wanted a man to make love to her.

  She slowly got back onto the bed and sat on her heels, when he grabbed her and pulled her over him. She was momentarily disoriented by the rush of emotion and she could not move. The reality of where she was and what she was doing paralysed her and she had to breathe deeply to suppress the feeling of panic washing over her.

  He lifted her and flipped them over, pinning her body underneath him. He was breathing hard and his pupils were dilated. She could feel his arousal against her stomach and it both frightened and exited her to know she had such an effect on him.

  “I am going to kiss you now,” Michael said.

  He waited for her to respond but before he could bring his lips down she grabbed his head and kissed him first. He made a harsh sound in the back of his throat and forced her mouth open to devour her with his tongue. There was nothing gentle about the kiss, and the way he repeatedly and rhythmically thrust his tongue into her mouth, only made her more desperate to press her lower body against his rock hard arousal.

  She felt as if all reason had fled her mind and she could not get close enough. She locked her legs around his waist and lifted her pelvis from the bed almost in desperation. She could feel his erection sliding against her and she could not remember ever feeling this aroused.

  Michael groaned and stopped kissing her. “If you don’t want me to fuck you senseless, I suggest you stop doing that, Danni!”

  “I’m sorry. I’m aching for you to make love to me, but I’m also scared,” she whispered.

  He caressed her face and kissed her tenderly on the lips. “Lucky for us there are a lot of other things we can do.”

  He gazed at her wickedly before moving down her body to kiss her neck, and then her collarbone. His fingers moved slowly between her breasts before circling around the outer curve of her breast. She arched her back, desperate to feel his mouth on her body.

  “You’re so beautiful,” he groaned. “I will make love to you. That’s a promise. And it will be soon.” She gasped as he gently licked the tip of her breast before taking it into his mouth. He sucked hard before grazing her nipple with his teeth and she could feel it all the way to her core.

  “O God. This is killing me,” he whispered hoarsely as his hands roamed her body, touching her everywhere, exploring her skin.

  “Michael, it feels amazing.” She could barely breathe. His fingers left a trail of fire on her skin and she wanted more. She closed her eyes and was completely lost in sensation when she became aware that he had stopped touching her. When she opened her eyes he had moved away from her.

  He was watching her and his eyes were ablaze with fiery passion. His chest was heaving and he seemed to struggle to regain self-control. “I can’t do this,” he whispered. “I thought I could be here with you and do this, but I’m afraid that I won’t be able to control myself. I have never wanted anyone as much as I want you.” He sighed as he pushed himself from the bed. He took a few steps away from the bed and ran his hand through his hair in agitation.

  Danielle sat up and pulled the sheet over her nakedness. It took a few seconds to regain control and she struggled to comprehend what he was saying. “Why do you want me so badly? Tell me. I need to know.”

  He smiled and shook his head. “You really don’t know, do you my beautiful Danielle?”

  She stared at him for a long time. “No, I don’t. I have never been able to tell what goes on in your head, Michael. You’ve been a mystery to me since the first time I laid eyes on you.”

  Michael had an incredulous expression on his face. “Because I fucking love you, Danielle. I have loved you since I was eighteen. And I have never been able to stop loving you. God knows I’ve tried.”

  Danielle was momentarily speechless. Time seemed frozen as they stared at each other and she came to a decision that she knew would change her life irrevocably. “Then make love to me,” she whispered almost inaudibly.

  He gaped at her and she could see the shocked expression on his face. He seemed torn and she was about repeat it when he said, “I will only ask you one time. Are you sure?” His voice was strained and she could see it took every ounce of his restraint to remain standing where he was.

  “I’ve never been so sure of anything in my life,” she replied. “The reason I have never been with anyone was because I was waiting for you. I realise that now. I love you. It has always been only you.” Danielle watched Michael closely and could see how the look of doubt turned to a look of utter determination.

  He approached the bed slowly before grabbing her and pulling her forcefully into his arms. He kissed her in what could only be described as possession. He held her away for a second and looked slightly uncomfortable before he spoke. “I have to get a condom.”

  Danielle watched quietly as he opened a drawer in the wooden headboard of the bed and removed one. He tore the foil packet with his teeth and she watched in fascination as he rolled it on. He turned back and took her in his arms again.

  “Are you still okay?” he asked.

  “I’ve never been better. Kiss me again,” she replied.

  They lay back on the bed and he raised himself on one elbow to look down at her. His hand travelled down her side and when he reached her thigh he gently pushed her legs apart. He parted her folds and inserted his index finger into her wet heat.

  “You’re so tight and wet for me,” he whispered. “Are you ready? I need to be inside you.”

  He kissed her deeply as she nodded, unable to speak. He rose above her and positioned his erection at the opening of her core. She gasped when he entered her body and he stilled his movement, giving her body time to adjust to the fullness.

  “Tell me when I can move, Danni,” he whispered in her ear. His whole body was trembling and she could feel the muscles of his arms bulging as he struggled to keep his body under control.

  Danielle gradually became aware of a sense of urgency to move her body as the burning sensation subsided. She locked her legs around his waist to lift her hips and marvelled at the exquisite sensations that shot straight through her.

  Michael groaned and slowly began to move with her. He made love to her as if she was the most precious thing he had ever touched. He put his weight on his elbows, placed both his hands on her cheeks and rested his forehead on hers as he moved in and out of her. Their lips were almost touching, but not quite, and she could feel every breath and hear every sound he made. It was branded on her soul and she could not tell where he began and she ended. All her reservations and fear melted away as they made love and when she reached her climax she cried out in an ecstasy she had never thought poss
ible. He followed soon after and he buried his face in her neck as he tried to get his ragged breathing under control.

  Afterwards she lay in his arms and he was gently caressing her back when he cupped her chin and turned her face to look at him. “Are you okay?” he asked and she could see the uncertainty in his face.

  “I’m fine. Better than fine. I feel as if my world just tilted on its axis, actually.” She kissed him softly on the lips and the touch was electric.

  “Danni, I know it was painful, but it will get better, my love,” he said tenderly.

  “If it gets any better than this I’ll have an aneurysm,” she exclaimed. “Is it always like this? It was incredible….”

  He hugged her close, his face pressed into her neck. “I’ve never felt like this before. It is definitely not always like this.” He kissed her neck before sitting up.

  “Let’s take a bath and then have breakfast. I’m starving. I never had a chance to cook you dinner last night! I won’t be able to make love to you if you go into a hypoglycaemic coma.” He grinned as he rose from the bed and lifted her into his arms as if she weighed nothing. He carried her down the stairs to the en-suite bathroom of the bedroom he never used, before gently placing her on her feet as they entered the bathroom.

  The walls were white washed and it had beautiful wooden floors and massive floor to ceiling French doors that opened onto the secluded back garden. White gauzy curtains were hanging from a black wrought iron curtain rod above the doors, ensuring privacy. He turned to open the copper taps that emptied into the huge Victorian bath in the centre of the floor. “I will leave you alone for a bit. I’ll be back soon.”

  Michael gave Danielle some privacy and she was relieved not having to ask him to leave her alone. She was not comfortable telling him she needed to use the bathroom. He knocked on the door a few minutes later and waited a few seconds before entering. He was carrying some clean towels and two bath robes. He was still naked and he seemed completely at ease. He closed the taps when the bath was full before turning to Danielle.

  “From now on you’re staying with me. We can go to the hotel after breakfast to pick up your luggage.” He placed his hand behind her head as he spoke to her. He looked at her intently and she knew that she wanted to stay in his house indefinitely.

  “Okay.” Danielle reached up and wound her arms around his neck, pressing her naked body against his. She was surprised that she was so completely at ease being naked in his presence. As she kissed him she felt him smiling against her lips.

  “Why are you smiling?” she asked. She pulled back to look at him.

  “I didn’t expect you to give in so easily. You like to argue,” he replied.

  She slapped him against his shoulder and pulled away from him. He tightened his hold, refusing to let her go, and she could feel him becoming aroused again as she struggled against his iron grip.

  “I like it when you struggle. It turns me on,” he said hoarsely.

  She could tell he was teasing her, but she feigned indignation. “I’m definitely going back to the hotel now! I will stay here when hell freezes over!”

  Danielle pushed at his chest with force, but it was like pressing against a stone wall. She could see the rush of desire in his eyes and the next moment she was pinned against the cold wall. His erection was pressing against her and her breasts were crushed against his chest. His kiss took her breath away. She could not get enough of him and she wrapped one of her legs around his hip.

  He grabbed both of her legs and wrapped them around his waist before entering her with one powerful stroke. He seemed to lose control and thrust into her forcefully. She momentarily lost all reason as he pounded into her with reckless abandon before halting abruptly.

  “Danielle, we must stop,” he groaned, as if in agony. “I’m not wearing a condom and I’m assuming you’re not on any birth control.”

  He untangled her legs from around his waist and gently lifted her from his rock hard arousal. He pushed away from her as she slid to the ground and he seemed to struggle to catch his breath.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve never seen the need to be on birth control.” She was leaning against the wall, her legs feeling like jelly. She took a deep breath before she spoke again. “This is an awkward question, but do you have any sexually transmitted diseases that I should know of?” She did not for one second believe that she should be worried, but her medical brain never allowed her to take anything for granted.

  “It feels a bit strange discussing my sexual history in a cold bathroom while we are both standing here naked. Maybe we should get in the bath first.” Michael had an amused smile on his face and his hands were on his hips as he looked at her.

  Danielle noticed that the bath was almost filled to the brim and she sighed as she got into the warm water. She was quite tender from their lovemaking but did not want him to notice that she was uncomfortable. He got into the bath behind her and leaned back, pulling her between his legs with her back against his stomach.

  “What do you want to know?” he asked as he took some liquid soap from the rack next to the bath and started to lather her skin.

  He started with her torso, gently moving his hands over her breasts with agonizing slowness, returning again and again, brushing over them with the flat of his palm. Danielle struggled to concentrate while his hands were caressing her and she found it difficult to form coherent thoughts.

  “How many women have you slept with?” She kept her voice nonchalant but could not suppress the jealousy she felt at the thought of him being with other women.

  “Does it matter?” he asked.

  “I guess not,” she replied, but her answer sounded false to her own ears.

  “I didn’t sleep around, if that’s what you’re worried about, but I haven’t been celibate either. I made sure I never did anything reckless though. I will never do anything that would put you at risk.”

  “I never doubted that.” Danielle arched her back as she spoke and pressed her breasts against his palms.

  Michael sensing her need but not giving in to her silent demand, squirted some more soap onto his hand and proceeded to wash her thoroughly. “Are you tender, Danni?” he whispered in her ear as he continued his gentle movements.

  “A little.” She tilted her head back and kissed him, desperate to taste him.

  “I want to make love to you again, but I think maybe we should wait a bit.” He pushed her away from his body before taking the soap to wash himself.

  She turned around and rested her back against the opposite side of the bath, watching with avid interest as he soaped his chest and then the rest of his lean, muscular body. She was mesmerised as she followed his hands with her hungry gaze and she could not help but lean forward. She smoothed her hands over his chest and his abdominal muscles and marvelled at how strong and smooth his body felt in the water. He groaned when she moved her hands to his thighs and shuddered when her fingers gently brushed against his erection.

  “Fuck, you are sexy,” Michael said suddenly. “You make me forget all my honourable intentions!”

  Danielle was startled when he shot upright and pulled her with him, spilling water over the side of the tub. He did not bother to grab any towels. Instead he lifted her dripping body into his arms and he carried her through the connecting door to his bedroom. He deposited her roughly on the bed and pushed her legs wide apart, kneeling between them.

  He lowered his head and kissed the wet skin of her lower abdomen. She gasped when he pushed her legs further apart and kissed the inside of first the one and then the other thigh. His thumbs were caressing her inner thighs and she arched her back as his mouth moved to her core. He gently suckled her sensitive nub before pushing his tongue inside her. Danielle did not think she could again experience the heights of passion they reached previously, but Michael made her soar and just before she reached her moment of release he pulled away.

  “Not yet, baby,” he said.

  She was vaguely aware that he r
olled away from her and took a condom from the nightstand next to the bed. He pulled her over him so that she straddled him. He entered her slowly and she almost expired in bliss as they climbed higher and higher to unparalleled ecstasy. Their movements became frantic and they shattered as their mutual climax washed over them.

  Danielle collapsed on Michael’s chest and she was unable to move. He stroked her hair before whispering in her ear, “You’re going to be the death of me woman.” He gently pushed away from her body, taking care not to hurt her, and rose from the bed with a determined expression on his face.

  “I’m going to get back into the bath and then I’m going to make breakfast. I want you to stay in bed and away from me until I’m done, otherwise I’ll never make it out of this bedroom today. There are some unused toothbrushes in the top drawer of the vanity and you can use any of the clothes in my closet. I’ll see you in the kitchen.”

  Danielle heard the water of the bath and closed her eyes as she turned on her side. She realised she had to phone Jonathan. She could never marry him now. She was desperately in love with another man.

  CHAPTER 10

  Danielle did not realise how hungry she was until the smell of toast and bacon permeated the air. She entered the kitchen, wearing one of Michael’s T-shirts and a pair of his sweatpants. She wasn’t wearing any underwear and she felt sexy knowing that his clothes were touching her bare skin. She had to roll the top of the sweatpants over to keep from tripping on them. She walked over to where Michael was standing in front of the gas stove. He was wearing a pair of cargo pants but no shirt and he was barefoot.

  “Hi. It smells divine. I never knew making love would make me this ravenous.” She hugged him from behind and put her cheek on his back.

  “Hey. I missed you.” He turned around to put both hands on her face and kissed her firmly on the mouth before pulling away. He resumed cooking as she walked to the oak table.

  She sat down and stared at his naked back for a few seconds before mumbling, “I have to phone Jonathan.”