Cold As Ice

by Paige, Violet

  “Thank you for going out with me. I’m honored.”

  My heart beat faster. He was honored.

  “When was your last first date?” I dared to push the romance discussion further.

  He drank his cider and I was mesmerized by the sharp cut of his jaw. It seemed perfect in the firelight.

  “I don’t remember.”

  “Was there someone back in Milwaukee?” Just how available was this guy? Was he like me? Single and unattached.

  “I dated back home, but there isn’t anyone that I’ll see again.” Jack’s hand found mine under the table. His fingers coasted over the tops of my knuckles until our fingers were wound together. I held my breath. The contact was warm and ignitable. It was the spark that made my belly flutter in a way I hadn’t felt in months. His thumb pressed into my thigh. It was slight pressure, just to let me know he noticed. He felt the pull that I did. Our attraction was crashing into each other.

  I’d been here before. I’d felt the undeniable attraction to a man that robbed me of conscious thought. Would I let lust like that shatter me again?

  The moment was interrupted when our server returned with two trays of food. Platters heaped with grits cakes and fried green tomatoes. This was only the first course.

  “You have a little bit of an accent,” I commented in between nibbles of my grits cake. “Where is that from?”

  “I’ve been in the States a long time. I thought I’d lost it.”

  “Almost.” I smiled.

  “I grew up in the Czech Republic. Well, back then it was still Czechoslovakia, but I was too young to remember all that happened with the government.”

  “And why did you move to the U.S.?” I asked.

  “To play hockey.” He flashed a smile, but there had to be more to his history than that. Would he let me pull the threads and weave his story together?

  “But you call Milwaukee home?” I lifted the cider to my lips. I liked how Jack focused on me when I talked. It was possible I had spent so much time eating quick dinners with a kindergartner that normal adult eating habits had been erased from my memory, but I still liked it. I liked him.

  “You really want to go there on a first date?” He leaned closer. There was one green tomato left between us.

  It could be a scare tactic or way to shift the conversation back to me. “I do. I want to go there.” I was feeling adventurous after half a cider.

  “All right.” His voice dropped an octave and I was instantly pulled into his story. Another round of ciders was placed in front of us. I drank and listened quietly, trying not to interrupt while he told me about his childhood.

  “I never met my father.” Jack was matter of fact, laying out the facts. “He left the country after political protests and the unrest before things were stabilized. All that took place while my mom was pregnant with me. She said she tried to find him, but I don’t know if that was ever true. It was hard to believe much of what she said.”

  My throat tightened. My instinct was to believe Jack’s mom. To side with the single mother. To relate to the pregnant woman who had been left alone with no father for her child.

  “I think that was kind of the end for her. The last time she was happy. I’m not sure.” He traded out glasses of cider and continued. “She was never really awake. Does that make sense? Just not a whole person. She kind of stared into the distance. She forgot dates. She forgot if I had school. She didn’t make meals. I think that’s something mom’s do.”

  I nodded, trying to understand. “It is, but I’m not that good at it either,” I answered quietly.

  “Anyway, someone from the school reported her when my clothes became too small and I started sneaking into the lunchroom to load up my bag at the end of the day. The first time I was caught, the teachers thought I needed a snack, but the third time they caught me in the fridge they knew I didn’t have food at home. They put me in a children’s home.”

  “Jack, I’m sorry.”

  “It sounds weird to say, but it was better than being at home. I had food and friends. I had a sponsor who paid for me to play hockey. It wasn’t a bad life. At first, my mom came to visit me every week. She wanted to get better. I believed her. But then the once a week visits turned into once a month visits and then only stopping by at holidays. The first time she missed my birthday I kind of knew she had moved on.”

  “Moved on?” I squeaked. A horrible sadness spread through my body.

  “She wasn’t required to see me. I did go by the house when I was moving out of the city. It was empty. I didn’t bother searching for a forwarding address.”

  “Oh my God. That’s terrible. You have no idea what happened to her?”

  He shrugged. “I don’t. See? Not a good first date story. I tried to warn you. It’s too heavy and I don’t want pity, which is what I usually get when people find out my parents couldn’t handle being parents.” His smile was sad, but genuine. “I knew hockey was going to be my life when my first coach pushed to get me on the elite team. It was the only thing I had back there that I could count on and it’s been that way ever since.”

  I reached for his hand. My fingertips grazed his. “That’s a lot for a little kid to handle.” Our eyes met. “Too much for a little boy to ever have to endure.”

  “I turned out okay.” He winked and a jolt of heat zinged through me.

  “Yeah, you did.”

  12

  Jack

  Dinner was romantic. Intimate. Personal. I had no intention of laying my soul at Noelle’s feet, but I wanted her to know upfront. From the very beginning. I wasn’t a man with a happy past. I didn’t have great parents. There were no beautiful Christmas stories or birthday cake pictures of me in a pointy paper hat. I didn’t have celebrations with my parents after winning games. I didn’t know how any of that worked for people. If that scared the shit out of her as much as it scared me, then she could run now. Run before we fell so hard off the cliff there wasn’t a way to climb out.

  Being a mother raised all the stakes. I was going to meet her with honesty, even if it cost me a second date.

  “Is it too late for you to have a drink at my place before I take you home?” I asked when I started the car. “What would Lucy think if I kept you out a little longer?”

  She bit her lip. I knew she was considering the time. Thinking about dinner. Had I presented myself as a heartless broken man, incapable of family love?

  “I’d love to. I can take an Uber or something home. You don’t even have to drive me.”

  “Not a chance.” I smiled, making a U-turn on the downtown street. “My apartment is only a few blocks from here. I will make sure you get home safely.”

  I wanted her to see my place, but it didn’t have a sliver of warmth that the cottage she had decorated did. No crayons. No artwork on the walls. I had an incredible TV and speaker system and matching furniture that someone else picked out for me.

  I opened the door and Noelle stepped inside. The citrus scent from her lotion hung between us. Nothing had smelled so bright and warm in my apartment. The rooms were predominantly male with leather couches, a small bar of expensive bourbon, and the occasional splash of cologne.

  Her eyes widened when she took in the exposed beams overhead. “Wow. This is really cool. I love how it’s open.”

  “Thanks.” I locked the door. “I only signed a six-month lease.”

  “Oh? You aren’t planning on staying with the Dires?”

  I shook my head, sliding the coat from her arms. I placed it over the back of a barstool. “I just want to make sure I like the apartment. I only had a week to make a decision. Maybe I’ll move into a house. I don’t know. I might stay right here a little longer.”

  I poured two bourbon drinks and dropped a few ice cubes in the glasses. “This is all I have. I hope it’s okay.”

  “I like bourbon. I think.” She laughed lightly. “I’ve never tried it on the rocks.”

  “Let me show you around.” I led her to the master bedro
om and turned on the light to the bathroom. She seemed to like the free-standing tub the most. Then I led her to the guestroom, which was mostly a storage space until I could figure out what to do with it. I didn’t have a need for an extra room, but the one-bedroom apartments didn’t have balconies. I flipped the latch and walked Noelle onto the terrace. It was freezing. She leaned into me as we peeked over the railing. Her body fit perfectly cradled against mine.

  “The view up here is incredible. You can see the river. I’ve forgotten how pretty the downtown rooftops are.”

  I wasn’t staring at the lights on the water. The only view I gave a damn about was the one pressed into my side, making twenty degrees feel like a tropical climate.

  “I’ve spent more time out here than inside.”

  “Even when it’s cold?” she asked. I wrapped my arm tighter.

  “I like the cold. It’s never bothered me.”

  “You and Phoebe.”

  I chuckled. “I caught her doing something I do.”

  “What’s that?”

  “She likes to smell the ice.”

  Noelle sighed. “I wonder sometimes what I’m supposed to do when she does those things that I know I can’t understand. How am I am supposed to relate to her?” Her eyes turned upward. My heart thumped deep in my chest.

  “Just let her love it,” I answered carefully.

  “But I don’t know that part of her. And it scares me so much.” She looked out toward the river. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get into that tonight. We’re having a hard time keeping it first-date lite.”

  “I like that idea.”

  “What?”

  “First-date lite. No more heavy stuff. Just you and me having fun.” I felt my date shiver. “Come on. Let’s go back inside. You need to warm up. This calls for more bourbon. It warms from the inside out,” I explained.

  She nodded with enthusiasm and followed me to the open living room. I dropped one cube in her glass and splashed bourbon on top. “This is what we would drink when the temperature dropped below freezing outside, so we could play longer.”

  Her eyes widened. “You played hockey outside?”

  “Everyone in Czech Republic does. It’s like baseball or soccer here. It’s a national pastime. With bourbon.” I winked.

  I joined Noelle on the couch. I watched as she took a big sip of the bourbon.

  “I love the boots.” I nodded at her legs. “They’re really sexy on you.”

  She swallowed. “Sexy?”

  “Hell yeah. That little bit of skin showing.” I drew a line along the only bare part of her thigh. “I’ve never seen anything sexier.”

  It was the first time I’d seen Noelle blush. Maybe it was the bourbon, or maybe she wasn’t used to a man who thought she was gorgeous. If that was the case, something was wrong in this world. She needed to know how fucking beautiful she was.

  She licked her lips. “Sorry, I feel a little out of practice with dating. Flirting. All of it. I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I don’t want to do the wrong thing. Practice before tonight would have been good.”

  I took the glass from her hand and placed it on the coffee table. It was almost empty.

  “There’s nothing to practice.”

  I cupped the side of her face. I moved closer, my lips lingered over hers, taking one breath and then another. Noelle’s eyes closed. My mouth descended on hers and I wrapped my arms around her waist. I nipped and sucked at the corners of her lips. She parted as my tongue slipped inside, savoring how she tasted. How the bourbon mingled on our tongues.

  She groaned as my hands coasted over her hips. The kiss became deeper and more urgent as she pulled against my neck.

  “Novak,” she whispered. It seemed like a statement and not a question. My name sounded hot on her lips. I wanted to hear it over and over when I took her bed.

  My hand canvassed the top of her thigh, moving deliberately to find the zipper on her boots. As sexy as they were on, I wanted to take them off. I tugged until the zipper ended at her ankle. Noelle stepped out of the boots and I draped her legs over my lap.

  God, she had gorgeous legs. Firm and long. My palms rubbed her calves and trailed across her thighs. I wanted to study every freckle. Get to know every curve. Kiss every inch.

  I returned to her lips, kissing her, holding her in my arms while our bodies pressed into each other, desperate to make contact through our clothes. The friction built as I gulped for air. My lips explored her neck and behind her ear. I licked and sucked, kissing her sweet skin.

  “H-hot,” she murmured. “We’re too…overhot. Overhot.” She pushed gently on my chest. I made space between us.

  “Overhot?” I questioned.

  “It’s not a r-real word,” she stammered.

  “I didn’t think so.”

  I put the bourbon with the melted ice in her outstretched hand when she reached for the coffee table. Noelle sat forward to take a few sips.

  “I can get a glass of water for you,” I offered.

  She shook her head, licking her lips. I saw fire and heat in her eyes. “I’m okay.”

  Noelle threw her hands around my neck as she climbed into my lap. Our mouths moved urgently, finding each other again. Her purrs filled my ears. I tugged on her dress until it was up around her hips. Things were hot. Maybe overhot was the right word. I cupped her ass in my hands and my cock lunged with sudden need. I was hard. Maybe a little drunk. And I liked this girl. More than I should at this point. Her teeth raked over my bottom lip. Fuck, she could kiss.

  “Still overhot,” she whispered.

  “It is. It’s cooler in my room,” I groaned, trying to show some damn restraint. But I wanted to throw her dress on my floor. I wanted to see what color the silk panties were, she was wearing. “Come on.” I kissed her roughly, ready to move into my bedroom.

  Noelle wiggled back, almost sliding over my scar. She took an intake of air. “I can’t stay. Babysitter, remember?”

  Fuck. What was I suggesting? I screw her and put her in an Uber? That wasn’t how Noelle should be treated. It wasn’t what I wanted either. I wanted to wake up with her. Maybe break in the new kitchen with an omelet. Or we could order from the bagel shop downstairs. I wasn’t going to kick her out of bed.

  “Right.” I ran my hand over my face. “The babysitter.” I was surprised how easy it was for me to forget there was a kid at home waiting for her. Maybe I should walk on the balcony and cool off, or at least open the doors to let the wind in off the river. I carefully deposited her next to me on the couch and strolled to the patio for fresh air. I inhaled. I needed the cold to go straight to my cock.

  She walked up behind me in her bare feet. “I already ordered a ride.” She held up her phone.

  “No.” I shook my head. “Let me take you. I should drive you home.”

  “I’ve got it. Plus, I don’t want you to worry about having had too many. It’s okay. I don’t mind.”

  “All right. If you insist on taking a ride back to your house, I’m going to wait with you until the car is here.”

  She nodded. “Okay. But he’s going to be here in five minutes. I need to get my coat.”

  She turned for the couch and started zipping up the boots. They still had the same effect on me. Noelle stepped into her coat while I held it and I walked her downstairs to the sidewalk.

  She huddled next to me and I rubbed her arms for warmth.

  “Dinner was good. I have a favorite place to eat in the city thanks to you.”

  She leaned closer. “Thank you for a fun first date.”

  Her lips turned upward, and I couldn’t resist. I bent to kiss her. Our lips were still pressed together when the Honda Accord pulled up next to the curb.

  I leaned inside the car. “Take care of her,” I ordered.

  The driver looked stunned.

  “I’m serious. She’s going to call me as soon as she walks in the door.” I glared at him.

  “Jack,” she urged.

  I kissed h
er on the cheek. “Good night.”

  I closed the door to the backseat and watched Noelle be driven away. I didn’t want to let her out of my sight.

  13

  Noelle

  The next morning, I stared at the ceiling. I studied the cracks around the fan. I watched the shadows move from one side to the other while the sun rose outside on a cold Saturday morning.

  I was still riding my first date high with Jack. It wasn’t a regular date. It wasn’t an above average date. It was an epic and romantic date. He was sweet and sexy. He was a damn good kisser. I pulled a pillow over my face to squeal quietly. I kicked my feet under the sheets.

  I could hear Phoebe in the living room, watching cartoons. Soon she would want breakfast and I would have to jump back into mom mode. It didn’t seem fair after a date like that to have to switch gears. For one night I had felt like a beautiful woman. There wasn’t a trace of oatmeal on my dress or minion stickers on my jeans. Jack looked at me like the girl I used to be. Alana would want details.

  I sent my best friend a quick text to see if she wanted to come over for coffee. I smiled when she answered she’d be here in thirty minutes. It gave me just enough time to start the pot of coffee and jump in the shower.

  I tied my short kimono robe at the waist and padded into the living room to check on Phoebe. As I suspected, she was glued to the television.

  “Hi, Mommy.” I waited for her to ask about Jack, but sometimes I forgot she was only six. Her world revolved around things that affected her the most. Jack must not have tipped off her radar yet.

  “Aunt Alana is on her way over. I’m going to hop in the shower. Are you okay for a few minutes?” I asked.

  She nodded. Her mouth was half-open while she shoveled in dry cereal.

  “Okay.” I headed to the kitchen to start the coffee. I scooped grounds into the filter and poured the water.