Cold As Ice

by Paige, Violet

  I looked down when my phone buzzed.

  Good morning. Still overhot?

  It was a text from Jack. I smiled.

  Maybe.

  I added a wink emoji.

  I think I am. I’m going to hit the ice. Want to bring Phoebe?

  The ice? She would flip out. Ice time was rare and expensive. This would be huge for her.

  I have a friend coming over. What time?

  What’s his name?

  She is my best friend.

  She? Good.

  I felt a sliver of satisfaction that he was jealous, or at least slightly protective.

  Whenever you two are ready.

  I knew I should play it cool and make up an excuse, but I didn’t have one. At least not one that I was willing to concoct. The coffee began to drip into the pot. Alana would be here soon.

  How about 11?

  I’m getting you in a pair of skates today. See you then. Meet me at the back of the arena.

  My stomach flipped. Another date? Did it count as a date if Phoebe was a part of it? I hurried to the shower and decided to add washing my hair to the process. Whether it was a date or not, I wasn’t going to look like the disheveled mom I was half the time.

  Alana was a few minutes late. She knocked on the side door to the kitchen.

  “Hi.” I crossed the floor to greet her. Alana’s golden hair was thick and lustrous. Pregnancy looked good on her.

  “Good morning.” She saw the towel wrapped around my hair. “Are you going out?”

  “Yes. Later. I’m taking Phoebe skating, but she doesn’t know it yet.” I pressed a finger to my lips. There was no way I was going to tell her until ten minutes before we had to leave.

  “Skating? With him?” Alana’s pale, but perfectly arched eyebrows rose up and down.

  I blushed, pouring us each a cup of coffee. I placed the mugs on the table along with a small pitcher of creamer.

  “Yes. He texted this morning.”

  “This is fast,” she examined.

  “Is it?” I touched the hot porcelain to my lips. “Because I think it should feel fast, but it doesn’t.”

  “Tell me about last night.”

  We easily settled into our familiar routine. Although, I usually talked about work, Phoebe, or how the men in my family were driving me crazy. It had been a year since we had date to dissect. Alana was married and lived two blocks away. We had been friends in high school and even though we went to different colleges, we fell back into our friendship when we both moved home.

  “I want details. The really juicy kind.” She grinned like a wolf ready to pounce on the meat of my love life.

  I laughed. “It did get a little juicy.”

  “Good. I need to hear it. Robbie has been traveling so much lately for work that my sex life sucks.” She lowered her voice.

  “It’s okay. Phoebe is totally captivated by the Doc and her stuffed animals. She’s not paying attention to us.”

  Alana nodded. “Well, someone needs to be having sex around here because it’s not me. Being six months pregnant doesn’t help either. I’m either ready to go or completely uninterested, and it never matches up with when Robbie is home. So tell me something good. Really good.”

  “I didn’t sleep with him,” I explained. “But kissed? Yes. Made out? Yes.” I gripped the steaming mug.

  “That all leads to sex.”

  “We’re not there yet. It was a first date. A really good first date.”

  “Where did he take you?”

  “Well he asked me where I wanted to go, so I chose SBG. Guys like beer, right? I thought the beer garden would be a safe fallback if it turned into a disaster.”

  “But it wasn’t a disaster.”

  “No.” I shook my head. “It was perfect. He was perfect. Which scares the absolute shit out of me. Who looks like that and is actually a nice guy?”

  Alana considered my question. “Lots of guys, I think. Robbie’s cute and nice, but more in that book nerd kind of way.”

  We laughed. “And you know what else has my head spinning? He’s good with kids. Not just good, great. I saw him at the Ice Puppies camp. Phoebe thinks he’s amazing. He talks to her like she’s a person, not an alien.”

  “Speaking of your incredible little girl, did you tell him about her?”

  I rose from the table to peek in on Phoebe. She was in the same place I had left her.

  “No.” My voice was quiet. “He opened up about his childhood. And how he never met his dad. His mom found out she was pregnant with him, and the dad took off.”

  “Oh shit,” Alana whispered.

  “I know. It just hit too close to home. It’s just too heavy. Too much too soon. I don’t know how it he would take it. I couldn’t drop that during dinner. Not when everything felt so magical.”

  “I get it. Save that conversation for at least a second date.” I almost spit a mouthful of coffee on the table.

  “Yes, I’ll wait until our day date for that one. It’s the perfect thing to talk about when we’re skating.”

  “What do Cal and Daniel say about him?”

  I stared at her. “Oh, I have not said a word to them. And I won’t until we have made it through all four seasons, and I know he isn’t going to run.”

  “Like the others? That’s fair. But definitely sleep with him. I looked him up online and his team picture is yummy. Those aren’t always the best shots.”

  “It is?” I hadn’t done that much homework.

  Alana revealed an open page on her phone with Jack’s face on it. My stomach fluttered.

  “Okay. I’ll admit he is yummy.” He was more delicious in person. I knew. I had tasted his lips.

  “So have fun with him. You don’t have to marry him. Just have lots of hot wild sex and then tell me about it.” She rubbed her stomach. She and Robbie decided not to find out the gender of the baby. They wanted to be surprised. I was convinced it was a boy. She thought it was a girl.

  “I’m trying to be careful this time. It’s not as if I haven’t been burned over and over. There’s a reason I stopped going on dates. I couldn’t take the bullshit anymore. I still don’t know if I can.”

  “Yeah, but you went out with him. There’s something there. There’s something different about him that made you want to try again.” Her eyes lit. The eternal optimist. I believed everyone needed a friend who was a genuine cheerleader. Alana was mine.

  “Maybe that’s the scariest part.” My eyes lowered to my coffee cup. It was the heart of my fear. The attraction I felt when I was near Jack seemed like it was bigger than us. As if it could live and breathe on its own. It was the kind of feeling that made me want to be reckless and free. But if I was right. If it was real, I needed to take things slowly. I needed to make sure he was the man I thought he was. Because if I was wrong, I wasn’t going to break only one heart. I would be responsible for Phoebe’s broken heart too.

  14

  Jack

  It wasn’t hard to get the ice to ourselves when it was All-Star week. It was a quiet Saturday at the arena. Camps were over. There were no games or practices. We had the rink to ourselves.

  Phoebe skated laps, one faster than the one before it. Noelle held onto my arm while her skates slid back and forth beneath her. She was more like a baby deer on the ice than the confident woman in killer boots last night, but she was just as cute. I liked knowing she had a vulnerable side.

  “You’ve almost got it.” I tried to pry her hand off my arm.

  “I don’t know how you even talked me into this,” Noelle groaned. Her grip tightened.

  “If you had told me you were a figure skater, I would have believed you. Before today.” I chuckled.

  “Why would you think that?”

  “You’re graceful. Beautiful. Your daughter can skate circles around her friends.”

  “She didn’t get the skating from me. I’m not athletic at all.”

  Was I allowed to ask about Phoebe’s dad? I wasn’t sure. I wanted
to know. Was I dealing with a ghost? With a deadbeat? Who was the man who was no longer in their lives? It was too soon to wade into it. I changed the subject.

  “Did she like the Ice Puppies camp? Are you going to sign her up again?”

  I thought Noelle’s face changed to a lighter shade.

  “She loved it. Really loved it. But I’m not sure yet about the summer camps. It’s still a few months away.”

  “I could pull some strings. Make sure she’s at the top of the list.” I smiled. We stopped skating and I held Noelle’s waist, so she was secure in front of me. I wouldn’t let her slip or fall. I had her.

  “No. No. Don’t do that.” She shook her head. “I’ll take care of it when I can. I bet registration isn’t even open yet.” I had the distinct feeling she would have skated away from me if she had been able. I had accidentally hit a nerve.

  My fingers sank into her hips. She felt warm, bundled in a long-sleeved fitted fleece and gloves. Her ass looked fantastic, hugged in black leggings. I could feel the heat of her skin through her clothes. Her eyes turned upward. Did she know what she was doing?

  I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to drown in her like I did last night. But not here. Not in front of the kid.

  “I probably should have said this on our date, but I’ve never dated anyone with kids before.” I brushed her hair off her shoulder.

  “So does that mean you’re having second thoughts? I get it. I do. Really. I wouldn’t date me, not me, but someone like me.” She was babbling. “I know dating someone with children automatically makes everything more complicated. If it’s too much, Phoebe and I will thank you for the very generous ice time and head home. It’s okay, Novak.” She smiled softly. “It’s not something you have to handle. You don’t need to explain anything else. It’s really okay.”

  “Whoa. Whoa. You steered that in the wrong direction.” I eyed her. “I just wanted you to know I could really screw things up and have no idea I’m doing it. I’m trying to skate by. I think you’re beautiful and smart. And you’re sweet but strong. I only said that because all I can think about is kissing you again. And that kind of seems like something I shouldn’t be thinking about.”

  The way her eyes sparkled I knew I had touched something. “Really? You’re okay with the single mom thing?”

  I nodded. I hadn’t analyzed it thoroughly, but there was a simple answer. “Yes,” I replied.

  Her lips parted. “You want to kiss me again?” she whispered.

  “I do.”

  “It’s what I’m thinking about too. But we do have an audience.” My fingers curled with more pressure against her waist. I was able to draw her toward with the glide of the blades.

  Phoebe zipped past.

  “Can I take you out again tonight?” I didn’t care if I sounded like a fucking teenager.

  “I can’t tonight. I have a party.”

  “I like parties.” I smiled.

  “It’s my dad’s birthday party and my brothers will be there. I’m taking lasagna.”

  “I can help you make lasagna.” I’d never made lasagna in my fucking life. Toast. I should tell here I could make toast.

  She laughed. “Are you trying to get an invite to my dad’s sixtieth birthday party?”

  “Are you asking?” I teased. Phoebe completed another lap.

  “The men in my life are scary and nosey. Stubborn and a little over-protective. I don’t think you know what you’re getting yourself into.”

  “Scary? Scary is being slammed into a wall by four 200-pound men at once. I’m not scared of your brothers.”

  “You don’t think it’s too fast after only one date?” I knew she had a valid point. Things seemed to be on an accelerated speed since I asked her out.

  “No. It doesn’t feel fast. I want to see you tonight.” Honestly, it was all I wanted. I wanted time with Noelle. If that meant enduring her family, I could handle myself. If it meant watching a movie with Phoebe, I could handle that too.

  She exhaled. “I don’t know if it’s too fast for me.”

  “The easy part is there isn’t anything to tell anyone, right? One date. There’s no story to tell.” I winked.

  Her lush lips formed a smile. “Okay. You make a convincing argument. You can back out if you change your mind.”

  “I’m not backing out.” Her forehead crinkled as if she was worried. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know if I can skate all the way back to the tunnel, and I really want to take the skates off.”

  I laughed. “I can take care of that.”

  I scooped my hands under Noelle’s knees and lifted her to my chest.

  “Jack,” she squealed.”

  “I’ve got you.”

  She wrapped her hands around my neck. I skated to the tunnel while she buried her face into my cheek. She was too afraid to watch. I wouldn’t drop her.

  I turned to look over my shoulder when we reached the tunnel. Phoebe was at the other end making figure eights and trying to slap a puck into the net.

  I lowered Noelle’s skates to the ground as I pressed her against the wall.

  “What are you doing?” she whispered.

  I tipped her chin toward me as my lips crushed hers with a wild and urgent kiss. I knew the seconds were ticking down. But I wanted her to feel it. The burn on her lips. The thrashing of my tongue. I wanted her to know she drove me crazy. Every second I was near her I wanted my hands on her body and my lips on her skin. I had a chance with this kiss to tell her all of that.

  She moaned as my lips dragged over hers. She tasted so fucking good. I pinned her hands to the wall.

  “You deserve to be fucking worshipped, Noelle,” I growled into her ear.

  Her head rolled back on the wall.

  “And I’m going to be the man to do it.”

  I took a step back. I noticed Phoebe was out of pucks. We had to cool off before she skated in our direction. We were both out of breath and Noelle’s eyes blazed with desire. The same look I had seen last night with the river lights dancing around us.

  Shit. So much for taking things slow.

  15

  Noelle

  The only thing I told Daniel on the phone was that I was bringing a friend with me. Any more details and I would be dragged into a conversation about Jack. I wasn’t ready to take a deep dive into how the last four days had unraveled. Daniel would search for specific answers. Answers I didn’t have. That was why he was the serious brother. The one I counted on when I needed to choose a school for Phoebe. The one who went house hunting with me. The one who helped me prep for my job interview at the museum. He was that kind of brother and I loved him for it.

  I tried to warn Jack that meeting my dad and brothers wouldn’t be a breezy experience, but nothing seemed to throw him. After the kiss in the tunnel, I didn’t know if I could be talked out of it either. With one kiss he had changed my mind about deep lines I had drawn in the sand.

  I pulled on the oven door and leaned down to inspect the cake pans. The cake was going to be a red velvet cake, Dad’s favorite. I pressed the top of the first pan. The spongey red cake bounced back. They were ready. The baked lasagna was resting on top of the stove. I had finished it with just enough time to finish the birthday cake.

  “I want some cake,” Phoebe exclaimed. “It smells so good.”

  I laughed, pivoting to line up the three pans on the counter to cool.

  “Not yet. These are for Grandpa. I still have to add the frosting,” I explained.

  “Can I help?” she asked.

  “Of course. I’ll let you decorate it. But after they cool down. Okay?”

  “Let’s do it now,” she pleaded. My daughter wasn’t patient.

  “Not yet. I’ll call you back in when it’s time to help.”

  Phoebe groaned and skipped out of the kitchen. I knew she was still excited Jack had invited us to skate. School started Monday after her quick winter break and it would be a while before she was on the ice again.

&
nbsp; I didn’t want her to get used to special favors. I didn’t want her to expect anything from him. I knew he pulled strings to get us on the ice. I knew it wasn’t likely to happen again. The stars had aligned perfectly. But how did I put a governor on my daughter’s hopes or emotions? How did I tread into this situation with Jack with enough sanity for both of us? Alana wanted me to go for it. Jump in like a single woman with no attachments would. But I wasn’t that woman. I had to protect my daughter from heartbreak.

  By the time we iced, stacked, and decorated the cake layers I only had twenty minutes to get ready for the party. I touched up my makeup and wiped Phoebe’s face. The corners of her mouth were coated in frosting. I didn’t try to talk her out of the red cape. At least she had on a cute pair of leggings and clean shirt underneath.

  The only thing missing was Jack. Party prep turned to nervousness while I waited for him to arrive. What had I done? Another impulsive decision had led to this moment. Maybe I should look at this with an alternate lens. If we didn’t know each other well, then meeting the family wasn’t a big step. It wasn’t a step at all. It was inviting the new neighbor over to get to know people.

  I wrung my hands together when Jack pulled into the driveway. He was here and there was no backing out.

  The doorbell rang. Phoebe whipped open the door.

  “Hi, Jack.” She grinned.

  “Hi, kid.”

  “Hi.” I stood holding the covered cake plate. Phoebe clutched her grandfather’s gift, wrapped with some questionable taping decisions. I kept my mouth shut while she struggled with the paper. I let her work it out on her own.

  “Can I carry that for you?” Jack offered, nodding at the birthday cake.

  “I think I feel better holding it. It’s three layers of red velvet.” I tried to imagine his immense hands propping up the cake on the pedestal. I knew it would be safe. As safe as I was when he carried me across the ice, but I couldn’t let it go. “There is something you can help with. There is a huge pan of lasagna you can carry. It’s on the kitchen counter.”