Love Me Again

by Teresa Greene

  Not bothering to knock, her father entered her room. Abby glared at him with hatred. He had said terrible things, things she would never forget as long as she lived.

  In a stern voice, he replied, “I have given it a lot of thought. I doubt Andrew will want to marry you because of the child you carry. Not many men would raise another man’s bastard.”

  Abby’s back stiffened when he called her unborn child a bastard. She didn’t understand how he could be so mean. “After you have this baby, we will find it a good Christian home; a place with two loving, God fearing parents. By the grace of God, if Andrew still wants you, you can marry him.”

  Abby looked at her father as if he was crazy. Stubbornly, she snapped, “I will not give my baby away. Nothing on this earth could make me give it up. I am keeping it. There is nothing-.”

  Jacob sneered, cutting her off, “Not under this roof. I am your father and this is my home. If you want to stay here, you will do as I say.” Cold hard eyes stared at her as if daring her to argue.

  Panic began to take over. “Father, please reconsider. This is your grandchild. Surely, you do not want it to be raised by strangers.”

  He loomed over Abby pointing his finger in her face. “Your child was conceived through sin. You have brought enough sin into this house lying with a man you were not married to. I will not allow you to bring God’s wrath down upon us. ”

  There was such deep sorrow in Abby’s deep blue eyes. She wanted to rant and rave but knew it was useless. Her father made the rules and would not back down on his decision. She snapped her mouth shut and waited for him to leave. After he disappeared through the door, Abby bounded out of bed and got dressed.

  Frantic with worry, Abby raced to the barn. “Nick!”

  From the loft, Nick peered down at her with a pitchfork in his hand. “What is it, Abby? Has something happened?”

  By the time Nick climbed down the ladder and stood face to face with Abby, tears were streaming down her face. “Father is demanding I give my baby away when it is born. I will not.”

  Concern in his voice, his arms encircled her. “I’ll talk to him. I’ll make him realize how cold hearted he is behaving. I will stand by you and together we will convince him to let you keep your baby.”

  Abby dried her tears and sniffed loudly. “Where is he?”

  She felt him stiffen and knew she was not going to like what he had to say. “He has gone to speak to Andrew.”

  Abby let out a deep breath as she pushed away from him. “I must leave, Nick. I can’t stay here. If he forces me to marry Andrew, all will be lost. Andrew will mistreat my baby. I know he will. You have to help me.”

  Nick stared at her as if he could not believe she would leave her home. “Where will you go? Surely you do not want to go to Cord’s brother’s plantation.”

  “No, Nick. I would not dream of going there. But I must go somewhere. I can no longer stay here.”

  Nick’s brows drew together in concentration. He replied, but not with much enthusiasm, “How about Uncle Taylor?

  She thought about their mother’s younger brother, Taylor Johnson. She had never seen him, but he had written letters to her mother often before her death. He still lived in Durham, taking over the family plantation after his parents’ death. “He can’t turn me away now can he? I am family.” For the first time after realizing she was with child, Abby felt like there was a solution to her problem. A plantation would be a great place to hide out until her baby was born.

  The worry returned as she wondered where they would get the money for her to travel to Durham. After the crops were harvested and taken to market they would have money. But at the moment they had no funds. “There is only one problem. How are we going to come up with the money for my train ticket?”

  Nick’s voice lowered. “Do you remember the day I brought your saddle into the barn?”

  “Yes, I remember.”

  “Cord’s brother put several hundred dollars into the saddle bags in case you changed your mind and wanted to join him in Raleigh. I didn’t want to upset you further so I hid it. It is more than enough to get both of us to Durham.”

  Abby’s face lit up. “You’re coming with me!”

  “I can’t very well let you go by yourself. You need an escort. Besides, I need to make sure Uncle Taylor does not turn you away. Together we will convince him to take you in.” Nick pushed her toward the barn door. “There’s even enough money for Sugar’s fare. Go pack. We need to make it to Tarboro before the train departs.”

  Packed and ready to leave the only home she had ever known, Abby touched the daguerreotype of her mother on the mantle. Warm green eyes and a pretty smile stared back at her. She missed her mother so much. If her mother were here, she would know how to comfort her, help her make the right decisions. But then if her mother were still living, her father would not have treated her so horribly. How had her life become so complicated? Everything had been so perfect when her mother was alive. Her father had been happy and their home felt warm and full of love. Now it was full of pain, some of which she caused herself.

  “Come on, Abby. We need to get moving.” Abby took Nick’s hand, stiffened her back, and walked out the door.

  ****

  Abby stood back, a jumble of nerves as Nick knocked on the huge double doors of their Uncle Taylor’s plantation home. It was difficult to believe her mother had once lived in such a beautiful home. White with bright green shutters, it stood two stories high with four heavy columns. The well manicured yard looked impressive with several huge oaks shading it from the sun. A huge statue of an angel stood at the bottom of the steps with her hand extended to welcome visitors. If she were not so anxious, Abby was sure she would have found the scene before her peaceful. Instead her heart hammered loudly in her chest, making it difficult to enjoy anything.

  Wishing someone would answer the door, Abby wiped the sweat from her brow with her arm. It was a hot, sultry day and she was extremely uncomfortable as the June sun beat down on her.

  A thin, colored lady opened the door and looked at them curiously. “May I help you?” Obviously the cook, her pristine white apron had specks of flour clinging to the front. It seemed they had interrupted her duties in the kitchen.

  Nick stated kindly, “Will you please tell Mr. Johnson his niece, Abigail, and nephew, Nicholas, are here and request an audience.”

  Abby felt it rude to show up unannounced, but it could not be helped. They rushed to board the train, and didn’t have time to send a telegraph before leaving Tarboro. She feared her father convinced Andrew to marry her even though she was carrying Cord’s baby. She was determined to leave Tarboro before he could force her to marry Andrew against her will. The last thing she wanted was to have another huge argument with her father over a man she had no intention of marrying.

  They were escorted to the parlor to wait until Mr. Johnson could see them. Abby thought the room breathtaking. High ceilings, shiny floors, a sofa and chair covered in rich fabrics in neutral tones; everything looked perfect. She assumed the oil paintings adorning the walls were family ancestors. Did it look the same as it did when her mother was a child?

  Running her fingers over the huge piano, she imagined her mother sitting at the bench playing a happy tune; her beautiful voice drifting through the house. On Sundays her mother had played the piano at church and Abby had enjoyed watching her mother’s fingers fly across the ivory keys. Her mother had always pined for a piano of her own, but they could not afford to buy one with their limited funds.

  The door swung open and Uncle Taylor strode into the room. His merry gray eyes swept the room searching for them. Seeing Nick first, he immediately moved toward him. His hand reached out and grabbed Nick’s, pumping it up and down.

  “I’m so glad to see you. I feel like I know you after my correspondence with your mother. Martha bragged on you two so much. I wondered if you could be the saints she claimed you to be.” Taylor slapped Nick on the back. “You have Martha’s high che
ek bones and green eyes. I can see so much of her in your face.” Rounding on Abby, Taylor picked her up and hugged her tightly. “You look nothing like your mother. Where ever did you get all that glorious auburn hair and blue eyes? It must be from your father’s side.”

  Automatically, her hand touched her hair, which for once was not confined in her usual bun. The lack of time kept her from arranging it before she left. Besides, it was her father who always insisted she wear it in a bun for vanity reasons. “My mother said I got it from her grandmother.”

  Taylor chuckled, “It must be from a grandmother I never met. You are exquisite. Compared to you, our grandmothers looked pretty drab.”

  Abby’s cheeks turned pink. “Thank you, Uncle Taylor.” She wished she knew more about her family. Her mother very rarely spoke of her parents. She assumed it was because she married her father, and left home without their consent. For a reason she didn’t know, they did not approve of her father. At least her mother had been close to Taylor as a child and spoke of him often.

  “Sit down, sit down.” Taylor waited for Abby and Nick to sit on the sofa, and then he took the chair across from them and shouted, “Lizzy!” causing Abby to jump. She tried to calm her racing heart. Never had Abby seen so much energy and excitement from anyone but Nick. Now she knew where her brother got his energy.

  The colored woman who escorted them to the door, entered. “Will you please bring some refreshments for our guests?” Again he turned his attention back to Nick and Abby, he replied, “It’s hot today. I know you need something cool for your thirst. Listen to me going on and on. What brings you so far from home?”

  Abby looked at Nick. She was too ashamed to tell her uncle, who seemed genuinely thrilled to see them, that she was expecting a baby. Especially after he conveyed their mother described them as saints. Before Nick could speak, Lizzy returned with a tray of sweet cakes and sweet tea.

  No one spoke until Lizzy exited the parlor. With trembling hands, Abby lifted a glass of tea from the tray and took a sip. She feared the glass would slip from her fingers so she carefully sat it back down on the tray. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin the expensive looking rug on the floor.

  Nick ran his fingers through his hair. He was probably having trouble deciding how to explain her predicament. A prideful man would find it difficult to ask assistance from an uncle he really did not know. At least Taylor had been close to their mother so that was in their favor. Her mother had reminisced frequently about the trouble they got into as children. She had adored her younger brother and doted on him.

  “We need your help, Uncle Taylor. Abby has found herself in an awkward situation.” Nick looked at Abby before proceeding. Her smile weak, Abby tried to give him the courage to go on.

  “We brought a man who had been injured into our home. Abby nursed him back to health, and the way he repaid her kindness is by seducing her. She is with child.”

  As she felt the blood rush to her cheeks, Uncle Taylor’s eyes swept from Nick to her. She felt like crawling under the sofa and hiding. If he turned her away, she would have no other choice but to go back home. What would happen to her then? Would her father make good on his threat and force her to give away her baby?

  The silence went on too long as he stared at her. Not able to tell what he was thinking, Abby began to fidget. She placed her elbows on the arm of the chair, and tapped her fingers on the wood.

  “How can I help with her situation?”

  Still too embarrassed to speak, Abby kept her head downcast.

  Nick shifted in his seat, obviously worried they would be turned away. “We had hoped she could stay here until we could make other arrangements. You are the only family we have left, and father has not taken the news very well.”

  Taylor grimaced. “No, your father would not. If you don’t mind my saying so, your father is a very pious man. He only sees things in black and white, not realizing there is a lot of color in between. God forgives. I don’t understand why Jacob does not, especially since he considers himself a man of God. I never understood what Martha saw in the man. For some reason she loved him dearly.”

  Nick replied, “I hope father will change his mind and accept the child over time. Her staying here will only be temporary. I’m sure father will miss her, and want her back home. Certainly, when he has to eat his own cooking or mine, he will be pleading for her to return. Abby did everything from the cleaning, cooking, and washing of our clothes. I don’t know how we will get along without her.” Nick draped his arm on the back of the sofa and touched his fingers to Abby’s neck. “If not for father’s cruel treatment of her, I would not have consented to help her leave our home. Father even threatened to take her baby from her after its birth and give it to a Christian couple.”

  Taylor leaned over and took Abby’s hand smiling lovingly. “You may stay here as long as you need to my dear. My home is your home. If your mother would not have left with Jacob to start a new life, this plantation would also have been hers. You may consider it your home. In fact I am looking forward to getting to know you better.”

  Relieved, Abby let out the breath she had been holding. At least she had a place to stay. Taylor turned his attention back to Nick. “Will you also be staying, Nick?”

  “If it will not be an inconvenience, I will stay a few days until Abby gets accustomed to her surroundings. We are extremely close and have never been apart. I will have to return to Tarboro in time to help father with the harvest. It is more than father can do by himself.”

  Nick stood, a huge smile plastered on his face. “I’ll go get our bags. We brought her horse, Sugar. I hope you don’t mind if I put her in the barn?”

  “No, not at all. I’m glad you did so Abby will not be so homesick.”

  Abby still had not spoken. When Taylor helped her to her feet, she tried to smile but it was just too much of an effort. Her thoughts bleak, she wondered what life had to offer a woman with a child and no husband. At least now she would be able to keep her baby.

  Taylor tucked his arm into Abby’s. “Come dear, I’ll show you to your room. I’m sure you must be exhausted.”

  She could feel her uncle’s eyes following her as she stepped into the room. Obviously, he wanted to ask some questions but refrained from doing so. It was only natural he was curious.

  White, lacy curtains covered the large windows, and a patchwork quilt lay over the bed. A rug with bright colors covered the wood floor. She jumped when she heard her uncle speak from behind her.

  “This was your mother’s room. It has new wallpaper, but the furniture and pictures are the same ones that graced the walls when she occupied the room.” His tone sounded sad as his eyes wandered around the room. “I could not bring myself to remove the pictures, some of which she painted herself.”

  Abby touched one of the oil paintings, and thought of her mother as a young girl sitting in front of the house at a canvass capturing the beauty of her home. The colors of the flowers and lush green grass looked so real. “They are beautiful. I never knew my mother painted.” Turning and facing her uncle, Abby smiled. “Thank you, Uncle Taylor. I don’t know what I would have done if you had not shown me kindness.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous, Abby. You are my niece. Even though I had not seen Martha since she left home, I did keep in touch. We were very close as children, even with the age difference. Martha was ten by the time I was born, and sometimes she treated me as if she were my mother.” His eyes sparkled mischievously. “She loved to boss me around.”

  Taylor’s voice softened and Abby could tell he felt guilty and ashamed. “I hate I didn’t make it to the funeral. I know her death must have been devastating for you.”

  Abby knew why he didn’t come to the funeral. Taylor didn’t care much for her father. She heard her father speak ill of Taylor many times, so the feeling was mutual. Her father considered Taylor a sinner and said so on many occasions. “Yes, father has not been the same since mother died. I don’t think he understands it le
ft a void in Nick and me also.”

  “Of course it did. I know how much she adored her children. Enough talk of sadness. Take a nap and then enjoy a relaxing bath in the adjoining bathroom before supper. I will have Sally delay our evening meal so you will not feel rushed.”

  “Oh, no. I must protest. Please do not change your schedule because of me. I have just arrived and you are already making sacrifices.”

  “It is no problem, Abby.” Taylor kissed her on the forehead. Suddenly, his long strides took him to the door. He turned and smiled warmly at Abby. “Supper will be at 7:00.”

  Abby stepped through the French doors to the terrace and admired the beautiful grounds below. In her mind, she pictured her mother playing under the huge oak below. She could not believe how quickly Taylor accepted her into his home. He was as her mother had described him, loving and caring. Hopefully, she would find solace in this beautiful home where her mother had lived until she met the man of her dreams and left it all behind. Maybe the same would happen for her. Again her thoughts turned to Cord. Why couldn’t he have been the man of her dreams?

  ****

  Relaxing in the porcelain tub, Abby moaned with pleasure. Not having a bathroom in their small farm house, she always took sponge baths. It felt heavenly to sit in a tub with enough water to submerge her whole body. The water began to cool so Abby stood to dry herself and noticed her slightly protruding belly. A child was growing inside her. Would the child look like Cord, with coal black hair and brown eyes? God, she hoped not. It would only remind her of Cord every time she looked at her baby.

  Almost three months along, Abby knew it would not be long before people would know. She could not hide her expanding middle much longer. She peered into the mirror at her reflection. Her eyes had lost their sparkle. If she was going to have a healthy baby, she would have to change her attitude. All this depression could not be good for her or her baby.