Love Me Again

by Teresa Greene

  Abby tried to shake off the tension and keep the anger from her voice. “Why were you so cold to me after her death?”

  He blew out his breath. “I felt guilty after Martha’s death. Every time I looked at you, I thought of what I had done. A family was denied their daughter because I was not strong enough to do the right thing. I committed a horrible sin. When Martha was living it had been easier because I felt I was justified in keeping you because I wanted her to be happy. After her death everything changed.”

  Raw from crying, her voice sounded strange even to her. “How could you blame me for something you did?”

  At first Jacob said nothing. He dropped his eyes unable to look Abby in the face. He reached across the table and took her hand. The urge to pull her hand away was strong but she refrained from doing so. Truth was she didn’t want him to touch her. But deep down she knew she would never see him again. She didn’t want to leave with malice in her heart? “You knew Ian and Grace McDonald were my parents?”

  A look that could only be described as regret crossed his face. “One day when I was in town I heard their daughter had been kidnapped. They had put posters all over town describing you. I knew you were their daughter. It was too late. Two weeks had passed and I feared what would happen to Martha if I returned you to your home. She had been devastated after the still birth of our baby girl. She would not survive losing another child. I could not cause her any more pain. I never told her you belonged to the McDonalds. She died believing a mother left you on our doorstep because she could no longer tend to you. You made her so happy and she loved you more than anything, even me. Please understand, Abby.”

  Not knowing what to say, Abby said nothing. He had not taken part in her kidnapping, but he had known for nineteen years who she was and never told her. He had been a good father until her mother died, maybe a little overbearing, but she felt he loved her. There was no doubt her mother had loved her desperately. She and Nick had a strong bond that could not be broken. Even though she worked hard growing up on their farm, she had been content with her life and her family. The awkward silence continued for several minutes before Abby whispered, “I forgive you, father.”

  Abby stood to leave. Jacob lunged forward and caught her in his arms as he lost control and wept loudly.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Moving her food around on her plate, Abby was unable to eat. They would be boarding the train in an hour. Even though she told Ian she was not hungry, he insisted she eat something. Not accustomed to having so much attention poured on her, she wanted to lash out at him. The man didn’t let up, constantly watching her and treating her as if she might break at any moment.

  Ian and James devoured their food quickly, and were playing with Daniel. Ian bounced Daniel on his knee while making faces at him. James tickled his tummy. If they had any inkling of how ridiculous they looked, they would be embarrassed. The worst part, Daniel enjoyed every minute of the attention he received from his newfound grandfather and uncle.

  It all seemed so strange to Abby. She wondered just how long Ian planned to hover around her playing the doting father. Cord would not be too happy if Ian followed them home after they got married. Surely, the man would get back to the normalcy of his life sometime. He had a wife and sons, not to mention a plantation that needed his attention.

  “I’m going to send mom a telegraph letting her know we will be home later today.” Abby watched as James left the table taking Daniel with him. What would James say to his mother? Would he tell her they found Ellie? No they would give shocking news like that in private.

  Nerves on edge, she worried what she would say to Grace McDonald when she finally met her. Would she be like Ian and demand all her attention? Of course she would want to spend time with her to get to know her.

  Out of the corner of her eye, Abby saw the young woman descending the hotel stairs on the arm of a large man at least thirty years older than her. Too shocked to move, Abby kept staring at the woman who had been in bed with Cord at the saloon. Was it true and he never made love to her, or was he lying?

  The gentleman pulled a chair out for her at the table beside theirs, and Abby thought she was going to be sick on her stomach. There were several empty tables. Why did they have to choose the one next to them?

  “Why do you look at the woman with malice? Did she do something to you?”

  Not wanting to discuss the woman with Ian, Abby glared at him as she snapped, “No, I don’t even know her.”

  With genuine concern in his voice, he asked, “Of course you do, lass. What did she do to warrant such hatred?”

  Knowing he would not relent until she told him, she leaned in and whispered, “I went to the saloon to find Cord after Nick forced him to leave our farm and caught him in bed with her. He swears he was half asleep and thought she was me.”

  Ian chuckled, “How in the world did Cord think that scrawny girl was you? He was lying.”

  Abby’s cheeks reddened. She could not believe she was having this conversation with Ian. She was confiding secrets that should not be any of his concern. “Cord swore when he realized she was not me, he quickly left her bed.”

  Arms crossed over his massive chest, Ian asked, “Do you believe him?”

  Abby took a moment to ponder his question. “I want to. I hate to know I am marrying a man that may not be trustworthy. You did tell me he has a reputation with the women.”

  In an uneasy voice, Ian said, “I am not too thrilled with Cord as a son-in-law, and probably being a little too harsh. I don’t appreciate him leaving you in your time of need. If he says he loves you, I’m sure he does. What man would not fall in love with you? You are very sweet and devoted.”

  Abby’s cheeks turned pink embarrassed from his compliments.

  Ian continued, “He is an honorable man and I’m sure you can trust him. It’s just that fathers always feel no one is good enough for their daughters.”

  “I fear my doubt will get in the way of our relationship. I will always wonder if he slept with her.” Her eyes grew misty and she took several deep breaths to keep them at bay. No more tears she had promised herself.

  “Why don’t you ask her?”

  Abby’s mouth fell open in shock. “I could never do such a thing. She is a whore. I would never speak to a whore.”

  “Lass, if you want to find out if Cord has been honest with you, then ask her.” She watched in horror as Ian stood, ambled over to the woman, took out some money, and placed it on the table. The color drained from Abby’s face as the woman turned and looked her way. Ian helped her to her feet, tucked his arm into hers and escorted her to Abby’s table as if she were a lady. Then he left the hotel restaurant leaving her alone with the whore.

  Not sure how to proceed, Abby began to tap her fingers on the table. Unable to look the woman in the face, she kept her eyes downcast.

  The silence dragged on until the whore smiled prettily and asked, “What’d you wa’na ask me?”

  Abby stuttered, “I a I a Well. . .”

  “Calm down, Abby. I ain’t gonna bite ya. Tell me what’s troublin’ ya.” Curious, her head tilted to an angle.

  Surprised, Abby asked, “You know who I am?”

  The woman smiled warmly at Abby trying to ease her nervousness. “I guess ya don’t r’member me. I was raised on a farm not far from yours.”

  Recognition crossed Abby’s face. “May Eddington?”

  “In the flesh.”

  “I haven’t seen you since we were children.” Abby wondered why May turned to a life of prostitution. Her father had been their preacher for many years before moving to another parish. May even sung in the choir. Abby found it hard to believe she chose the life of a prostitute.

  “Are ya wonder’n why I’m whoring?”

  Abby slid her chair closer to May and whispered, “I hate to admit it, but I am a little curious. Your father is a preacher.”

  May’s demeanor changed. Her voice very serious, she replied, “My pa caught me
kissin’ a boy in the hayloft when I wasn’t but fourteen. He almost beat me to death. He made me pack my things and leave. I had no’were else to go, no family to take me in. I got a job waitin’ tables at the saloon. It wasn’t long b’fore I found myself makin’ a livin’ flat on my back.”

  Abby thought of her own circumstances. If not for family, she could have found herself in the same horrible situation. She would have done anything to keep her baby. She laid her hand on top of May’s. “I’m sorry. I had no idea.”

  “Do ya know what’s the worst part, Abby?” May’s voice filled with sorrow. “It was only a kiss. We weren’t going to do anythang. The boy was as nervous as I was. My pa was so sanctimonious he wouldn’t even let me explain. My ma begged him to calm down and let me talk, but he wouldn’t listen. I’ll never forget the beating or the horrible thangs he called me.”

  Abby squeezed May’s hand for comfort. “I’m sorry your life has not been what you wanted it to be.”

  May swiped at a tear and smiled. “Don’t ya worry ‘bout me. I have saved enough money to leave this horrid life b’hind.” With a dramatic sweep of her hand, her eyes lit up as she continued, “I’m leaving this one-horse town and headed to the big city. I’ll find a job and happiness.”

  “I hope so, May. I wish you the best.”

  May clasped her hands in her lap like a proper lady and asked, “Now what’d you wanna ask me, Abby? The big man said ya had some questions for me.”

  Abby took a deep breath to calm her nerves. “It’s nothing important.” Suddenly Abby feared the truth. Besides, it happened so long ago May probably didn’t even remember.

  Her voice firm, May replied, “Ask me.”

  “Over a year ago my fiancé, Cord Sutton, was waiting for me here in town. When I arrived to meet him, I found him in bed with you. He swears nothing happened, that he was drunk and still half asleep.” Shifting in her seat, Abby’s heart vibrated in her ears. “It was over a year ago. I’m sure you don’t even remember him.”

  May’s expression changed and Abby knew she did remember the day in question. “He did call me Abby.”

  “What do you mean he called you Abby?”

  “He was drunk and got into a fight with some farmhands that came into the saloon for a drink. They easily knocked him out cold so I had the barkeep put him in my bed to sleep it off. I’m sorry, Abby.” May leaned in closer and whispered, “I didn’t know he was your man or I’d never have tried to have sex with him. He was so handsome I wanted him. Even though this life was forced upon me, I do enjoy the feel of a man’s hands on me, ‘specially when they look like your man.”

  Abby’s face turned scarlet. She was not accustomed to someone being so honest and direct.

  “After my shift I thought I’d enjoy his company for a spell.” May became a little flushed, obviously not wanting to upset Abby. “Your man thought I was you cause he called me Abby. The moment he woke and realized I won’t you, he threw me out of bed right onto my ass. He was scared we had done some’em, but I told him we hadn’t. He kept askin’ me over and over. He acted like I had the pox or some’em.”

  “Thank you for being honest with me.” Abby stood to leave.

  May grasped her hand tighter, stopping her. “You are a lucky woman. I could tell he loves you true. A woman don’t find a man like that very often.”

  “Thank you, May. You have no idea how much our talk has helped.”

  Abby stepped outside, to find Ian waiting by the door. “Did she answer your question?

  “Yes, he was telling the truth. He did not sleep with her.”

  “Do you think she told you the truth?”

  “Yes, I believe her. I feel much better about our relationship.”

  Ian took Abby’s arm. “Let’s go. We have a train to catch, so we can attend a wedding.”

  ****

  The moment Abby stepped off the train, she saw Cord waiting for her. He wrapped his hand around her arm to make sure he didn’t lose her in the crowd. When he saw Ian McDonald step off the train behind her carrying Daniel, she felt him stiffen. Abby cringed knowing there was going to be trouble. She pleaded with Ian to let her talk to Cord privately, but the stubborn man would not relent. It was as if he wanted to cause trouble with Cord.

  Abruptly, Cord reached and took Daniel out of Ian’s arms. “What in the hell is going on here? First I get a strange telegraph telling me to meet Abby at the train station in Raleigh. Now here you are carrying my son around as if he is yours. I think I deserve an explanation.”

  In a stern tone, Ian announced, “Abby can explain on the way to my plantation.”

  Red faced with frustration, Cord demanded, “We’re not going to your plantation. Our preacher, my family, and Taylor and Judith are waiting for us at my plantation.” Cord’s eyes locked with Abby’s. “I guess she told you we are getting married today.”

  Sick of the turmoil in her life, Abby pleaded, “Ian, let me explain to Cord. You know he will not leave with you unless he knows the truth.”

  “You have five minutes, lass. I am anxious to get home.” Ian scooped Daniel out of Cord’s arms. “I’ll hold him to make sure you don’t try to slip away.”

  A muscle twitched in Cord’s jaw proving he was about to lose control. “Please, Cord, let me explain.” Quickly, she took his hand and led him to a bench close by. She sat down pulling him down beside her, never relinquishing her hold on his hand.

  He kept glancing over his shoulder at Ian as if he could murder the man. Then James and Nick stepped off the train with their bags causing even more confusion.

  “Why did you leave Durham with Ian and James?”

  “Cord, I don’t know where to begin. So much has happened.” She took a deep breath and jumped right in. “Ian McDonald showed up at Uncle Taylor’s ranting and raving that he suspected I was his daughter Ellie. I tried to convince him otherwise, but the man was determined to prove me wrong.”

  Cord shot her a puzzled look. “What made him think you are Ellie?”

  “At first it was just because I resemble the McDonalds. You have to admit the resemblance is uncanny. Ellie also had a birthmark on her right thigh.”

  Cord shook his head. “Abby, you couldn’t be the child kidnapped from Ian and Grace McDonald. It just isn’t possible.”

  Eyes filled with pain, she met his gaze. “Even after describing my birthmark in perfect detail, I was not convinced so I accompanied him to talk to father to prove I was not Ellie McDonald.” Abby began to tremble and her voice wavered. “I found the dress my mo…” She could not say the words. “Grace McDonald had embroidered… I found the dress Ellie McDonald was wearing the day she was kidnapped in a trunk in my father’s room. Father confessed I am Ellie McDonald.” Abby fought back the tears. She promised herself she would not cry anymore.

  Shocked Cord asked, “Your father kidnapped you from Ian and Grace McDonald?”

  Quickly, Abby wiped at the tears with the back of her hand. “No, someone left me on their doorstep with a letter.” She handed Cord the letter. She pulled the tiny pink dress from her bag and handed it to him. As he read the letter, he held the tiny dress in his huge hands. Even though she tried desperately to keep the tears at bay, they began again. She fell into Cord’s arms and whispered softly, “I am Ellie McDonald.”

  ****

  Before Cord could climb out of the carriage, Ian cleared his throat and replied, “I would like a little time for Grace to spend with the lass before you two get hitched.” Ian fisted his hands to his hip as if daring Cord to argue. “Why don’t you go home and get your family for the wedding. I know the lass would like Taylor and Judith to be present.”

  Undaunted, Cord jumped out of the buggy and assisted Abby. “Her name is Abby.”

  Not once had Ian called her Abby. At least he was not calling her Ellie. Not ready to deal with the huge changes in her life, Abby wished she could run away and hide somewhere. It all seemed so strange to go to bed thinking she was Abigail Henley, only to wake the v
ery next morning to discover she was really Ellie McDonald. Her whole life had been nothing more than a lie. And now she was going to meet Grace McDonald, her birth mother; a woman who was a stranger to her.

  She brushed her hand across Cord’s chest. “It’s okay. Go get your family and Taylor and Judith. We will get married when you return.”

  “Don’t bother with a preacher. We’ll be using mine. I want everything to be legal and proper. You have caused enough of a scandal getting her with child and abandoning her. There will not be another.”

  Reeling from anger, Cord took a step toward Ian. “What in the hell does that mean? You don’t think my preacher can perform the ceremony properly?”

  Abby had heard enough. “Listen you two, I feel like I have been to hell and back. The last thing I need right now is you two at each other’s throats. Please try to get along.” She faced Cord and took his hands. “After we are married we can return to your home. Let me spend some time with Grace. A few more hours will not make a difference.” She touched his face gently with her fingertips and smiled. “We are getting married, that is all that matters.”

  Nick offered, “I’ll go with you, Cord.”

  By Nick’s demeanor, he was not looking forward to meeting the rest of her relatives. He looked as if he was thinking of running in the opposite direction. He had been quiet and distant during the whole train ride. To find out the person he thought was his sister for so many years was really someone else’s sister was hard to accept. To have everything she knew about herself and her life fall apart had been a little traumatic for her too. Facing these strangers without Cord or Nick only made her apprehension multiply.

  As if sensing her feelings, Cord stated, “I’ll stay with you, Abby.”

  Ian wrapped his burly arm possessively around Abby’s shoulders. “No one needs to stay with the lass. She will be fine.”

  To keep the peace, Abby felt it would be better for Cord not to be present when she met the rest of the McDonalds. “Please, Cord. Go get your family. He is right. I need to do this alone.”