So Many Roads to Choose

by Kathleen Ball

  Smitty finished eating and then went upstairs. He went to the room he had shared with Brenda. It was small with a big bed and a huge fireplace. They’d be comfortable there. He went into both their rooms grabbed night clothes and then opened the windows before he pulled their doors closed behind him. The rooms needed airing. He’d clean them tomorrow.

  He carried Brenda up first and set her on the bed. “Your clean nightclothes are on the pillow.” She didn’t answer, but then, he didn’t expect her to.

  Weary, he went down the stairs ready to carry May up.

  “Smitty, please sit and talk to me a bit,” she begged.

  He nodded and sat down. “What’s on your mind?”

  “An apology. I didn’t know she wasn’t pregnant. I was so upset with you all these years thinking you used my girl and didn’t care about her. You’ve been good to us, coming each winter and helping out and sending money. I appreciate it.” She reached out and patted his hand. “I half expected you to come and tell her you were ending the marriage.”

  “I take my vows seriously. I haven’t been with another woman.” Dang, he needed to tread carefully. “There is one who I love but being honorable means too much to me. I was going to ask Brenda for a divorce. I figured by now there must be some man she was interested in. May, I’m thirty-two and I want children. But I’ll have to put my life on hold until Brenda’s well enough to go to a sanatorium.”

  “She’d never be able to make the trip. I’m sorry my husband’s actions ruined both your lives. Someday when you have those children of yours, maybe one will grow up and live in this big house.”

  He smiled. “Maybe.”

  “I hate to bother you, but you’ll have to help me upstairs.”

  “Not a problem at all.” He stood, scooped her up and carried her to the room she’d be sleeping in. Brenda was dressed and under the covers. She gave him a look of disgust.

  May sat and reached for her gown. “Brenda do you think you could help me?”

  She flounced and turned her back on them.

  Smitty reached out and touched the older woman’s hand. She had tears in her eyes. “May, I’ll help you.”

  She sniffled and nodded. She allowed him to take off her blanket and put her gown on. Then he put her under the covers. Before he left he built up the fire.

  “May, I’ll check on you during the night and make sure you’re warm.” He closed the door behind him.

  A scheme, that’s what it had been, and it’d changed the course of his life. All in the name of greed. He made a pallet in front of the stove, but he couldn’t sleep. He’d been blessed to have raised Mike, Eli, and Jed. And now Lynn had a host of little ones. His life was full of riches. It was Brenda’s that was ruined.

  Smitty loved the feel of the sun on his back on a cold day. He’d been to town, and he was glad he’d brought the wagon and purchased as much as they could afford. Because of the sickness, he’d not be welcomed back again. First, he sent off the telegram to Lynn, shopped at the mercantile and then he finally stopped by the doctor’s office.

  Doctor Parsley knew about the situation but refused to go out there or allow anyone else to go out there. When Smitty asked why no one had even left food for them on the doorstep, he shook his head and said no one was so inclined. Smitty had been tempted to plant his fist into the doctor’s face.

  The news he was staying there would spread quickly, and Smitty was sure to be banned from town. What was wrong with people? Whatever happened to neighbor helping neighbor? Then he laughed at his notion. You reap what you sow.

  The Crosses had never lifted a finger to help another in their lives.

  When the house came into sight, he sighed. He dreaded having to go in there. May was a nice lady, now. She hadn’t always been that way. But he couldn’t stand Brenda, and a sick Brenda was even worse. Especially since she’d finally admitted she hadn’t been expecting a child when they married. Not that it mattered to anyone except him; but to him it was a huge confession. A life altering confession that had almost ruined his life.

  As the wagon drew up to the house, he reined in the horses and hopped down. Another horse stood tied up on the side of the house. With his hand on his side arm, Smitty walked through the door into the kitchen.

  A tall, thin, aging man gave a start as Smitty entered but then smiled in greeting and stuck out his hand. “You must be, Smitty. I’m May’s brother Arnold Stitch.” After shaking hands, he continued on. “I was having a look see at the house. It’s bigger than I thought, and I’m very excited about it all.”

  Smitty narrowed his eyes. “Oh, you must be here to help take care of your sister and niece. Thank goodness. It’s a big job. Have you seen them yet? They’re upstairs.”

  “Why, yes, I did look in on them.” A frown drew his brows together. “But you misunderstand me. This house will belong to me very soon.”

  Smitty leaned against the wall and crossed his arms. “So you’re here to watch them die.”

  Arnold smiled and shook his head. “Not watch. I’m waiting. I’ll get a room in town, and you’re to let me know how things stand on a daily basis.”

  Smitty didn’t have time for this opportunist. “I have a wagon to unload. Come on give me a hand.” He wasn’t surprised when Arnold didn’t follow him.

  It wasn’t that he wanted the house, but May had told him he’d inherit it. How did Arnold fit in? Arnold could go to town, but he wouldn’t be getting any updates. Smitty shrugged. They’d probably ban Arnold from town if he said he’d been here.

  Smitty carried in all the purchases, wondering where Arnold Stitch had disappeared to. After stowing the supplies, he climbed the stairs. Someone had been in the rooms and failed to close the doors to the rooms with the open windows. Cold air had left the hallway chilled. Shaking his head, he already guessed who the half-wit was. Smitty closed both windows and doors before going into the room the two women shared.

  “Is everything all right?” He automatically added more wood to the fire.

  “My lazy good for nothing brother is here,” May said. “He thinks the house will be his. Well, over my dead body.”

  Brenda frowned. “Mother, it will be over your dead body and mine too.”

  May’s lips formed into a hard straight line. “Legally, the house will belong to Smitty. Arnold took one look at us and ran from the room covering his mouth. There’s always been something wrong with him. He acts like a British dandy. Smitty, get me paper and pen before I’m too far gone to write.”

  “Yes, ma’am.” He gave her a smile. The house was sorely lacking in smiles. He brought up the writing desk and then went back downstairs.

  He’d bought a chicken in town and sat down on the outside steps to pluck it. It was a shame that the ranch had wasted away. Arnold would probably try to sell the land and house, but truthfully, there was still plenty of free land in Oregon. Perhaps some other rich family would buy it.

  Smitty had his family and his own ranch. He had no use for the house. He wouldn’t have given it a second thought if Arnold wasn’t being so underhanded, acting as though he was the rightful heir. A smile tugged at Smitty’s lips. Arnold wasn’t going to get the house.

  Movement in the distance caught Smitty’s eye, and he watched as Arnold galloped away on his gray mare. Smitty shook his head. He wondered how long it would take for Arnold to come back with no other place to go?

  Chapter Two

  Smitty laughed inside at Arnold’s discomfort. He didn’t want a room upstairs with the sick women. So his option was the cook’s room off the kitchen. Arnold hadn’t been in town for even an hour before they forced him out. He was very indignant when he walked into the door.

  Now, two weeks later, Smitty was bringing both Brenda and May downstairs so they could sit in comfort—at least as comfortable as they could be. He’d tried different teas and plasters for their chests. They put the plaster on each other to protect their modesty.

  They seemed to cough less, but they still coughed up
blood. There was no cure for tuberculosis, but they could live like this for years.

  The cold wind felt amazing on his face as he stood on the front porch. It was most likely he’d miss the holidays with Lynn and the kids. His shoulders slumped. His life was on hold. Actually, his life had been on hold since he’d married Brenda, but when he’d been told to leave, he’d been glad to do so. He’d been such a young man at the time. If it had happened now he would have just walked away without marrying Brenda.

  He felt the ends of his mouth draw up when he thought of Lynn. She was a heck of a woman with a big heart. She’d do anything for a person in need. He’d met her on a wagon train trip and she hadn’t always been thanked when she helped. She had healing skills, but people had still died, and in their grief, the survivors had taken it out on her.

  She settled in on the ranch as though she’d lived there all her life. She loved the children and they were lucky to have her for a ma. Hopefully someday, his smile didn’t dim as he went to chop more wood.

  The jingle of a harness and plodding of horses’ feet reached his ears. Sounded like a wagon coming their way. It wasn’t anyone from town, he knew that much. He put down his axe and walked in long strides to get to the front of the house. People had the right to know there was sickness in the house.

  He stopped in his tracks and took off his hat. He closed his eyes and opened them again in case he was seeing things. It was Lynn and a ranch hand named Harvey. The smile she gave him filled his heart. Harvey gave him a quick nod and then hopped down from the wagon.

  Smitty didn’t want to take his gaze from Lynn, but he stepped forward and shook Harvey’s hand. “They have tuberculosis. I’m not sure you should go inside.”

  Harvey nodded. He was taller than Smitty with blond hair and blue eyes. “I’m just the driver, boss. Miss Lynn insisted on coming. I’ll put her things on the front porch.”

  “Thanks,” Smitty replied as he met Lynn’s gaze again. He went over and helped here down from the wagon. It felt like heaven to have her in his arms and he held her close to him a bit longer than what was proper but it took everything he had not to kiss her.

  “Now, what are you doing here? I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

  “I’ve worked with tuberculosis patients before and have never caught it. I thought you could use a hand, but I also thought maybe it wasn’t right for me to be here with your wife.” She tilted her head as she looked up at him. “I wouldn’t blame you if you sent me away but I do think I could be of some help.”

  He grasped her hand and held it tight. “I’m glad you’re here. Both Brenda—er, my wife—and her mother, May are pretty bad off. Much better since I got here but still… They had no one attending to them. All the help had left them, and May was taking care of Brenda when she got sick, but now she’s the weaker one.”

  “I’m here now.” She touched his chest right over his heart. “You have circles under your eyes.”

  “We also have a man named Arnold Stitch staying here. He’s May’s brother, who insists that when they die the house is his. He sleeps in the cook’s room so he can be far away from May and Brenda. He can’t or won’t chop wood or do anything useful.”

  She rested her hand on her hip. “Why not send him to town?”

  Smitty let go of her hand and ran his fingers through his hair. “The people of the town are banning us from going there. They don’t want the sickness to spread.”

  Lynn nodded. “It’s understandable, wise even. Any other people I need to know about?”

  “No, I think that covers it. Brenda is being miserable and unpleasant, but that’s just how she is, so don’t take it personally.”

  Lynn seemed to hesitate.

  “She doesn’t even like me” he added quickly. “There’s no need to worry about her.”

  Lynn nodded and turned. “Harvey, thank you so much. Don’t tell anyone in town you were here. They aren’t allowing anyone from here to enter. I’ll send a telegram when I need to come home.”

  Harvey climbed up and sat on the wagon bench. “You two take care.” He flicked the reins, and off he went.

  “Well, let’s get your things inside, shall we?”

  Lynn smiled and nodded. “Might as well roll up my sleeves and jump right in.”

  Three days later, Lynn wished she could go home. She’d never met two women who complained so much. If they hadn’t had coughing fits they’d have complained even more.

  They both eyed her with suspicion, and Brenda couldn’t seem to understand why anyone would willingly be Smitty’s friend. Lynn knew there was no love between Smitty and his wife, but Brenda was out and out rude.

  Then there was Arnold, who treated her like the help, and she’d had to set him straight. She wasn’t there to cook or do his laundry, and she certainly wasn’t there to entertain him. He pinched her bottom and she swung around and slapped his face. Lynn hurried out of the kitchen. He’d better have gotten the message or she’d have to tell Smitty.

  Well, today was a new day and she was busy washing all the linens. It was going to be too cold to wash anything extra soon enough. She wanted to be sure the extra sheets were clean for the two women. Hard work didn’t bother her. Staying away from Smitty, though, was harder than she’d have thought. He was so kind and gentle with Brenda and May even though they were nasty to him. He pretended he didn’t hear them. Lynn wasn’t sure how he did it. He was a brave soul coming here every year to check on them even though they had kicked him out years before.

  Lynn had hardly had a moment alone with him. It really wasn’t so different from being at home except he slept in the original cabin that had been built years before by Mike, Eli, and Jed’s parents.

  She hung the sheets on the line to dry and took the empty basket with her to the porch, where she sat down and breathed in the fresh air. Her eyes widened and a jolt of pleasure shot through her when Smitty sat next to her on the bench.

  He took her hand and entwined their fingers. “You’re a wonder. Thank you for being here.”

  “I wanted to help you.”

  He grinned. “Now you know the whole story and why I wasn’t free to do more than hold you. It’s been a hard go. I’ve wanted you since I first laid eyes on you.”

  “Two years,” she said wistfully.

  Nodding, he gave her hand a squeeze. “It’s been a trial, but I wouldn’t have changed it. I’ve been selfish though. You’re free to go on and marry, and I’ve held on to you.”

  She gazed into his eyes. They were so full of emotion. “I’ve held on just as tight, Smitty. I’d give anything I own just to be in your life. I’ve heard people talk about timing and how it wasn’t right for them. I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

  “Brenda could live a long time. I wish I had the right to make promises to you. I love you with all my heart. I’ve never loved a woman the way I love you.” There was a hitch in his voice. “You brighten my days, and you torture my nights. I never thought to find someone to love. I figured I had a wife and that was that. I won’t cheat on her, but Lynn there are times I want to make love to you. I want to be free to hold you and kiss you and make you mine.”

  She placed her other hand on his arm. “Smitty, we’ll just keep on taking it one day at a time. I never knew that love could be so all consuming. It’s frustrating; I’m a widow, so I know what I’m missing. I long for you too, but I agree with you. Waiting is the best course to avoid feelings of guilt and regret. I know we have a houseful at the ranch, but I want babies of our own.”

  His smile was sad. “If she hangs on, it might be too late.”

  “If that happens, I’ll tie you down and have my way with you.” She laughed.

  The door opened and she knew by the cough it was Brenda. She took a step outside and glared. “I know you’re trying to steal my husband. I knew you for a hussy the first time I laid eyes on you. Smitty is a wonderful lover, and I hope you never get a chance to find out. You, my dear, have given me a reason to live a very
long life.” She turned and went back inside.

  Tears filled Lynn’s eyes. “I’m sorry she’s upset.”

  Smitty let go of her hand then put his arms around her and pulled her close. “You’ll have your babies. Somehow, we’ll get it all figured out.” He kissed her cheek, and then he stood up. A reassuring smile lifted his lips before he went down the porch steps and walked to the barn.

  She hadn’t meant to cry in front of him. He was already dealing with too much. Taking a deep breath, she got up and went into the house. Tea would be good right about now. Besides, Brenda might have gotten a chill from being outside. Sighing, Lynn put the kettle on the stove.

  When the water was hot, she brought the teapot and cups into the parlor. Both May and Brenda put their noses in the air. Too bad they’ll have to get over it. Lynn poured them each a cup, not the least surprised that despite their disdain, they took it from her when she handed it to them.

  Since Brenda was occupied drinking her tea, Lynn was determined to address the things she had said outside to Smitty. “Brenda, I know you were forced to marry, and I’m sorry you didn’t get to make your own choice. Your life would probably been vastly different with a man you could love. You may not love Smitty but he’s the best man I know. If there is ever trouble Smitty is always right there to help. He’s fought Indians and outlaws. He kept people safe on wagon trains and on his ranch. I met him on a wagon train headed here to Oregon. My husband died early in the journey and I was left with four boys my husband and I had adopted. We tried for a long time but we were never blessed with children of our own.”

  Brenda gasped and glared at Lynn.

  “My mother was a healer, and she taught me everything she knew. Smitty too has a gift for doctoring. We seemed to be needed many times on our trip. He’s a man to be admired. My eight –year-old, Danny, died on the trail. It broke my heart to bury him in an unmarked grave. I was paralyzed. I refused to keep going. The rest of the party rode off, but Smitty stayed with me. He listened to me and he held me while I cried. I hadn’t had time to grieve my husband until that day. There was never time. Finally he convinced me that my other boys needed me and we caught up with the party.” Lynn took a deep breath.