So Many Roads to Choose

by Kathleen Ball

  Brenda glanced away almost as though she wasn’t listening.

  “We became friends, and he looked out for me and my family. He is an honorable man and would never cheat on you. In fact, the first time my hand brushed his, he told me he was married. My family lives at the ranch he and the Todds have built. I have orphans that I claim as mine. Most were left without parents along the way west. Smitty helps me with them. I live in his new house while he lives in the original cabin that was built more than ten years ago.”

  Lynn filled their cups with more of the hot liquid and sat back. There really wasn’t much more to say.

  “You have no claim on him, you know,” Brenda said bitterly.

  Lynn nodded biting back her anger. “I know you’re his wife. I try to live my life with dignity and integrity. We care about each other but we’re just friends.”

  “Men get urges,” May insisted.

  Lynn shrugged one shoulder. “Perhaps, but he’s never mentioned them to me. He’s a gentleman.”

  Brenda laughed and patted her hair in place. “He’s got you fooled.”

  The longing to slap Brenda came over Lynn. “Hasn’t he come here every year to make sure you and the ranch were all right? He poured a lot his money into this place, and not one person ever thanked him. He could have dropped you two off at a sanatorium, but he hasn’t. Why can’t you give him a chance?”

  May nodded her head. “He’s not bad. I didn’t know the marriage was forced, so I’ve been angry at him for deserting my Brenda, but now I know he was asked to leave.” She turned to Brenda. “Most men would have washed their hands of you.”

  A sour look stole over Brenda’s face. “If he’d have stayed away, I could have filed desertion papers and been free of him. I could have remarried.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Brenda,” Lynn said. “I didn’t realize you had a beau.”

  “I didn’t,” Brenda said in a defensive voice. “But I might have.”

  “I see.” Lynn was at a loss for words. There would be no pleasing Brenda. Smitty had ruined her life as far as she was concerned, but she didn’t mention she’d tricked him and forced the marriage on him.

  Lynn went into her room, grabbed her gloves, then went outside and began to chop wood. She hoped to shame Arnold, but he only peeked out the window at her. But it didn’t matter. Smitty had gotten such a raw deal, and chopping away at the logs took away some of Lynn’s anger. Sure Brenda didn’t get such a good deal herself but she blamed Smitty, when it was entirely her own fault.

  “Don’t over exert yourself,” Smitty called out to her.

  She set the axe down needing time to catch her breath. “I need to get home to the kids.”

  “I know you do.” He jammed his hands in his pockets. “I expected you to leave sooner.”

  She wiped her brow with her handkerchief. “I’ll need to telegraph for a ride.”

  Smitty reached out and took one hand, removed her glove and did the same to the other hand. He caressed her new callouses. “You really had a grip on the axe handle.” He glanced away. “I sent a telegram yesterday. Harvey should be here tonight or tomorrow.”

  “Can we go for a walk?” She glanced around but saw no one near. Still… “Somewhere we won’t be spied on?”

  “There’s a small waterfall not too far from here. Brenda’s father built a bench there.”

  Lynn silently followed him, trying to let go of her anger at Brenda and her scheming father. She’d known none of it was Smitty’s fault, but to hear Brenda talk so openly about plotting to ruin his life and then blaming him, had been unbearable.

  She heard the rush of water before she saw two little waterfalls across from her. “It’s beautiful.”

  “I used to come here alone to think before I left.”

  Lynn sat down. “I probably shouldn’t have come. I’ve made things worse between you and your wife.”

  He grimaced at the word wife and then he sat next to Lynn. “I’m glad you came. I needed a bit of sunshine in my life, and that’s what you are, a ray of sunshine. You seem upset. What happened?”

  “Brenda acts as though her unhappy life is your entire fault. I tried to tell her what a wonderful man you are—”

  “Let me guess, she didn’t want to hear what you had to say.”

  “Something like that. Even though she’s sick, I wanted to hit her.” She gazed into his troubled eyes and put her hands on his cheeks pulling him down for a kiss. This kiss was going to have to last a long while.

  Smitty moaned and drew her closer. He rubbed up and down her back as he deepened the kiss.

  It was heavenly and intense. It was as though he was kissing her for the last time. He leaned his forehead on hers.

  “You’re not saying goodbye, are you? I’ve never been kissed with so much emotion,” she said as her heart pounded hard against her chest.

  “No, this is just a sample of what you’ll get when I come home to you. I don’t know how long I’ll be here. I’m going to see if I can find someone to take care of them. I have a ranch to run, kids to raise, and my woman waiting for me.” He gave her one of his best grins. “Just don’t give up on me. I love you, and it would tear me in two if you decided I wasn’t worth waiting for.”

  She lay her head on his shoulder. “Just try getting rid of me. I love you too, heart and soul. I suppose counting on you for Christmas is a bit farfetched?”

  He kissed the top of her head. “I can’t make any promises, my love. I planned to be here a week at the most, but…”

  “I understand.” She forced a smile. “I just wish we could be together intimately. Just once. But I’ll just have to live on the anticipation. You better come back in one piece. I’m hoping it will be sooner than later.”

  “You’ll tell the kids I love and miss them?”

  She nodded. “Of course I will. I promise to wait for you, Smitty. Heck, when you guided wagon trains you were gone longer. I can survive. I’ll just miss you so much.”

  Smitty kissed her cheek. “That’s my girl.”

  She turned her head, ready for another heavenly kiss, but he only gave her a quick peck. She wrinkled her nose at him.

  “If we kiss like that again, I won’t be able to let you go.” He caressed the side of her face.

  She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “I understand. I feel the same way. I guess we should head back to the house.”

  Smitty stood first and offered her his hand. She took it and held onto it the whole way back to the house.

  Harvey arrived that night, and they were all set to leave come morning. Lynn didn’t bother to say goodbye to Brenda, May, or Arnold.

  Smitty held her in his arms for a long time. “Just remember I love you, and it’ll be all right.”

  “I love you too. Come back to me.” There were tears in her eyes as she took a step back.

  Smitty helped her up onto the wagon and stood watching until the wagon was out of sight. His heart left with Lynn, and resentment settled in. He was going to find someone else to care for Brenda and May. He had a life to live. They couldn’t hate him in good times and decide they needed him in bad times. That wasn’t how relationships worked.

  He didn’t have much to say the next few days, and May seemed to notice. She asked him a few times if he was all right, and he just nodded.

  He’d gone to the outskirts of town to see if he could find a caretaker. No amount of money enticed anyone to take him up on his offer. He felt as ensnared as an animal caught in a metal trap.

  Arnold was sitting outside when Smitty came back. After taking care of his horse, he sat next to Arnold. “You expect to get the house when they die, don’t you?”

  “Of course I do.” He gave Smitty a haughty look.

  “I inherit it when they die. That’s the law.”

  “Now, see here. You deserted your wife—”

  “I was here every year. So that won’t work. What else do you have up your sleeve?”

  “May will leave the house t
o me.”

  Smitty shook his head. “The will has already been made and filed. Sorry, but you’re not in it.”

  Arnold’s jaw dropped. “I have nowhere else to go.”

  “That’s what I thought.” Hope filled Smitty. “I have an offer for you. You take care of things here, and the house is yours.”

  “I could get sick!”

  “Arnold, if you haven’t caught it by now you won’t. I’ll sign papers if you like. I already have a house and a ranch I need to get back to. Think about it, Arnold. This is prime land, and the house is worth a fortune.” Smitty tried not to smile. No one would buy the house after they heard about the deaths.

  “I accept, but only if we talk to May about it. I want it nice and legal.”

  Smitty stood. “There’s no time like the present.” He walked into the house with Arnold nipping at his heels.

  May’s eyes narrowed as she looked at Arnold and then at Smitty. “Arnold will kill us in our sleep as soon as you leave, Smitty!”

  Smitty sat in one of the green upholstered chairs across from Brenda and May. “He doesn’t have the courage or temperament to do such a thing. Like it or not, Arnold isn’t that type of person. In fact, I’ve grown to respect him.” A little lie wasn’t bad, was it?

  “Well, Arnold, what do you have to say for yourself?” May asked as though she was the Queen of England.

  “I thought I might catch your sickness, but now that I’ve come to the conclusion I won’t, I’ll be able to take care of you.” He looked like he tried to smile, but Smitty had the feeling Arnold didn’t really know how.

  Brenda glared at Smitty. “This is about that woman, isn’t it?”

  He stared back. “Yes, it is. I already told you I will remain faithful to you for a long as we’re married. Most men wouldn’t have. Most men, upon learning the truth of the forced marriage, would have had a lawyer take care of it and untied themselves from you. I didn’t. I came every year to help. You never showed me one ounce of kindness or affection. Frankly, I have no idea what I did to make you hate me so much. I’ve given the whole situation more thought than it’s worth. I kept trying to figure out how to fix things between us, but it’s you. You don’t want to be married to me.” He took a deep breath.

  “So, yes, this is about Lynn. I finally found someone who actually loves me with no strings attached. She knows I’m not a rich man. But because of you, she knows I’m an honorable man. Those children at the house think of me as their pa, and I’d like to get back to them. I’m doing good work, taking homeless children in.”

  Brenda made a face when he mentioned homeless children.

  She disgusted him. She was Lynn’s complete opposite. “You’d never help someone you thought beneath you. Is that the problem? You think me beneath you? It don’t matter to me. I’m leaving either way. If you want some help then change your will and give Arnold everything.”

  He turned toward Arnold. “I was going to wait until all the papers were signed, but it no longer concerns me. Please notify me when my wife has passed. I’m leaving. Good luck to you all.” He walked to his room and jammed his things into his saddle bags and then left the house without looking back.

  Chapter Three

  The snow had begun to fall in earnest, and she was grateful she and Harvey made it home before it began. She washed the last item of clothing and then stretched backwards. She smiled at the latest edition to her brood, Brian. With curly blond hair and brown eyes, he was almost two, and he liked to toddle along getting into everything.

  He had soothed her heart the first time she’d held him a week ago. She took a moment from her work and scooped him up. He instantly laid his head on her shoulder and babbled to her as she stroked his back and babbled back to him.

  Behind her, the door opened, bringing in a gust of cold air. Without looking up, she told whichever of the children had entered, “Dinner will be ready shortly. Call your brothers and have them wash up. Oh, and someone needs to bring in some wood. It’s getting cold

  “Did you find another one?” Smitty’s voice was full of love and laughter.

  The breath left her lungs in a whoosh, and she whirled. “Smitty,” she whispered as warmth rushed through her. Then she remembered he’d asked a question. “This is Brian. They think he’s near two years old.”

  “You look beautiful holding a little one.” His voice was soft. “You sure are a sight for sore eyes, honey.”

  Brian turned and held out his arms for Smitty to take him.

  “Let me get my coat off, you little rascal.” Smitty stepped inside and closed the door then took off his coat and warmed his hands over the fire. After that, he took Brian in his arms while giving Lynn a kiss on her cheek at the same time.

  “Da Da!” Brian exclaimed before he buried his face into Smitty’s neck.

  Lynn’s lips twitched as she tried not to laugh at Smitty’s red-faced expression.

  “I bet he calls all men Da Da,” he said sheepishly.

  “No, it’s the first I’ve heard of it.” She had so many questions, but she knew she’d have to wait until later that night when the kids were asleep.

  Smitty jostled Brian a bit so he could look at his face. Brian babbled to him too but much faster. Then Brian nodded his head and stared at Smitty.

  Smitty smiled. “I don’t have much practice with little ones like this. I suppose I’ll learn as we go.”

  “Yes, same here. He’s so cuddly and full of love. He’s kept me from crying at night.”

  Smitty’s brow wrinkled. “Crying?”

  Her face heated as she nodded. “From missing you and wondering how long it would be before I saw you again.”

  “I’m back for good.”

  Lynn’s jaw dropped. “Did they die?”

  “I traded Arnold the house for caretaker duties. I have everything I need right here. I don’t want that house.”

  Lynn got close enough to Smitty to kiss him. She stood on tiptoe and placed her lips over his, melting into their smooth softness. She felt the kiss to the bottom of her feet. She finally drew back, and they smiled at each other. “Anticipation is going to kill me.”

  Smitty chuckled, and Brian imitated him. They were all laughing as the other kids piled in.

  Lynn took Brian from Smitty then watched as he hugged each child in turn, Greg, Freddie, Will, Aaron, Carlos, Juan, Scarlett, and Cindy. Her heart was near bursting watching them all. This had been her and her late husband John’s dream, but now it was hers and Smitty’s.

  Cindy grabbed Smitty’s hand and led him to a chair in front of the fireplace. “It’s cold outside, Pa.”

  “Thank you, Cindy.” He looked over Cindy’s head at Lynn.

  Unshed tears pricked her eyes. Cindy didn’t like to be touched, and she didn’t touch others except for the obligatory hug now and then. It was a huge step for Cindy to grab his hand and call him Pa. Were those tears in his eyes as well?

  “It sure is cold outside,” Smitty agreed. “It was getting hard to see with so much snow coming down.”

  The next thing Lynn knew all the kids were sitting on the floor around him listening to his tall tale of riding in the snow. Her heart smiled and she kissed Brian on the cheek. “We’d best finish making supper,” she whispered to the two-year-old. She’d let Smitty settle in before she told him about Greg and his damsel in distress named Sonia. Lynn thought she might be making too much of it, but it concerned her.

  Smitty enjoyed sitting around the table during meals. They were all together, and he loved the way they interacted. It was as though they were all related. They teased each other, praised each other, and helped one another. They also pulled hair, punched each other, and found new names to call each other. He couldn’t help the big smile he sported. There was nowhere he’d rather be.

  And Lynn was so beautiful holding Brian. She did deserve babies of her own. He never had asked why she and John hadn’t had any. It probably wasn’t any of his business anyway. He just knew it felt so wonderful to
be back where he belonged.

  Later in the evening, he helped to tuck each child in. When they were done, he took Lynn’s hand and sat on the couch before the fire with her. “I feel complete when I’m with you.”

  She looked up at him and smiled. “Me too.”

  “We’ll be married someday, Lynn.”

  She reached up and caressed his check. “I know we will, Smitty. But right now, we have another problem we need to talk about.”

  He cocked his left brow and shifted on the couch so he could see her. “What is it?”

  “Greg wants to get married to a girl in town. Her name is Sonia.”

  Smitty shrugged one shoulder. “We discourage it.”

  She shook her head. “I wish it was that easy. Sonia is in the family way—”

  “Greg?”

  “He’s only fifteen.”

  “Almost sixteen, old enough,” Smitty muttered.

  “The baby isn’t his. Her family feels shamed by her and aren’t treating her very well. They aren’t beating her that I know of, but they make her kneel on rice and pray for hours at a time. They make her fast for days and lock her in her room.”

  “They should have locked her in before all this happened. Who’s the father?” He couldn’t abide children being mistreated.

  “She told Greg it was a peddler that met their wagon train. He told her he’d take her away, and she was foolish enough to believe him. The next morning he was gone and left her with his child growing inside her. I told Greg she was welcome to live here if her parents gave her permission.”