Second Chances

by Henley Maverick

  “You know, you remind me of myself when I was a little younger,” she said, crouching down next to Ava, who didn’t pay her much attention. She just opened up her lunchbox, unwrapped her sandwich and started nibbling at it. Even though Bria had other things to do, she sat down next to her, watching her eat her lunch and scribble things in her notebook.

  “Do you like to draw?” Bri asked her.

  “I do. I like to draw things,” Ava mumbled, her words barely audible. Bria watched her quietly; she was hunched over in a child’s seat, eyeing the little girl’s doodles, which included a man, a woman, and lots of flowers blooming at the sides. “Why is mommy laying down on her side?” she asked her, but she didn’t answer, she just doodled her way through the remainder of the hour, until the rest of the kids started pouring into the classroom again. “Um,” Ava uttered, tugging at Bria’s sleeve. “Bathroom.”

  “What, you wanna go to the bathroom?” Bri asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.

  “Come, let me show you where it is.” She took her hand and led her out to the hallway. “See, it’s right there, end of the hall,” she said before walking back into the classroom, but Ava just stood there like she was pinned to the floor.

  “Can you come with me?” she asked her.

  “Class is almost starting, Ava,” Bri said, to which the toddler nodded and went back to her seat. “Are you just gonna hold it?”

  “Come with me!” she said again, holding her hand out to her. Bria found it to be quite amusing, albeit a little strange.

  She had always thought about what it would be like to be a mother and, even though the mere idea of it made her stomach churn, she couldn’t help but soften towards the wide eyed three-year-old. She was careful not to give her special treatment, though. Even though deep down, she really felt like it.

  Bria tended to get tired towards the middle of the day and that was when she would send the kids off to sleep. It wasn’t like they were able to focus, anyway; there was something about the scorching noon sun that made them rowdy and ridiculous. “Alright, class, it’s nap time!” she said, waving her hands around. Some kids jerked awake at the mentioning of nap time, which was basically a more legitimate form of sleeping through class. “Everyone line up!”

  Bri watched the kids as they got up from seats and struggled to form a line. They stumbled around like bobble heads, and when she looked over at Ava, she was helping the other kids get into position. One by one, they lined up behind her, and then they moved towards the nap room like one giant snake. Sometimes Bria wished she could nap there herself, but as a teacher it was best that she just slept at home.

  “This looks comfy, you guys are lucky!” she said, arranging the mattresses and scanning the room with her eyes one last time before stepping out. Suddenly she felt something pushing at her and when she turned around her eyes dropped a couple of inches to meet the top of Ava’s head. She was pushing at the door, trying to get out. “What, you’re gonna follow me during nap time, too?”

  The little girl didn’t answer, but she just let her head drop like a deflated balloon. Bri rolled her eyes and picked her up. “Listen, Ava, you can’t follow me around the whole day, okay? You’re going to get tired especially if I’m doing boring adult stuff.”

  She grabbed at Bri’s collar and rested her head over her shoulder, and then she had no choice but to carry her back into the teacher’s lounge. “You’re gonna get me in trouble, you know that?” she said, after having succumbed to Ava’s big glacier eyes and small hands. The teacher’s lounge was empty and the windows were wide open. The sunlight poured in like a tsunami and Bri grabbed her chair and situated it in the vast spot of sun, pulling a pile of papers towards her and shuffling through it. “I’m gonna do some work, okay? Can you just sit here until I get it done?”

  Ava nodded.

  Every once in a while Bria would catch her moving in her peripheral vision and she would shake her head, both in frustration and bewilderment, and then go back to grading papers. “What is that?” Ava asked, pointing in a vague direction.

  “Oh, those? Those are papers, I’m grading them.”

  “Ohh, red,” the toddler said, grabbing one of the pens off her desk and inspecting it with an alien curiosity. “Why red?”

  “That’s a good question.” Bria paused for a moment, clearing her throat. “I don’t know, actually. I think it’s because red is striking.”

  “What’s striking?” she asked with her head tilted to the side like a confused puppy.

  “Yeah, red is a bold color, that’s why teachers use it to grade papers and point out mistakes.”

  “Red is scary,” Ava said before looking down again. Bri passed her an empty sheet of paper to busy herself with.

  “Here, draw something.”

  “Okay,” Ava said, pinning it down with her fingers and scribbling with her other hand.

  “Oh, you’re left-handed? I’m left-handed, too!”

  “What?”

  “Like, you draw with your left hand. Not many people can do that!”

  “I can’t draw with my right hand,” Ava pouted.

  “Me, neither,” Bria said, shrugging. “But did you know that left-handed people are said to be smarter than right-handed people?”

  Ava’s eyes lit up again, somehow her happiness circulated back to Bria, and it was the purest thing in the world. The two of them sat there for what felt like hours, and even though Bri found her presence to be quite inappropriate because it was against the rules, eventually she got used to having her around and she sort of became a part of the office.

  The day was dragging on. Bria went to wake the kids up and then dragged her feet back to class, where she half-baked a math lesson and prepared to leave. And like always, she had to wait until all the kids had been picked up by an adult.

  Just push through, Bri. Just one more hour and you’ll be wrapped up in a ‘bed burrito’. Bria didn’t like small talk when she was tired. All those wide-eyed parents pouring in, concerned about their child’s first day. “Did he do well?” “Can you tell he’s a smart kid?” “Hope he didn’t cause you much trouble, you should see what he does at home!”

  Bria pushed through an hour of questioning, dad jokes, and misplaced concerns, and then finally, she was ready to go. Until she noticed that Ava was still there.

  “Where’s your grandma, Ava?” she asked, smoothing a hand over her hair. She shrugged, but then her eyes snapped to the door. Bria turned around, only to find Kade standing there, scanning around for his daughter. He hesitated for a moment, but when his eyes landed on her, he smiled and started in their direction. Bri felt her heart skip a beat. He was dressed in one hell of a sexy suit; his sleeves were rolled up, his jacket folded around his forearm, and his pants were fitted, showing off a pair of muscular thighs that probably did more than take a stroll around the neighborhood. His gaze swept the room and then their eyes met. And that was when Bria felt the adrenaline burst in her chest and spread out to all four of her limbs.

  He recognized her instantly, and he met her gaze with raised eyebrows and a sexy smirk.

  Chapter Five

  The day felt like a dream. After returning to the office from court, Kade spent the morning hunched over paperwork, taking breaks in between paper piles to think about his daughter. He had refused to buy her a cellphone at such a young age, but now he sort of regretted it because he had no means of reaching her. “I don’t think I’m ready to let her go just yet,” he had ranted to the janitor.

  “Is she getting married or something?”

  “No, it’s her first day of school.”

  Kenny stared at Kade through heavy-lidded eyes before he went on mopping the office, letting his broom guide him outside. Kade just leaned back in his chair, clenched his eyes shut, and let out a sigh. “I mean, I could just be sitting here all day and she could be ... I don’t know!”

  Mr. Guffaw raised an eyebrow at him. “What could your three-year-old daughter possibly be doing while you�
��re at work?”

  “I don’t know, getting kidnapped?”

  Kade stomped the gas pedal and flew down the winding road. Already he felt like his daughter was growing up. How was he going to deal with her when she became a teenager? Teenagers can be difficult, he thought to himself. When I was a teenager, I was an annoying son of a bitch.

  Finally he pulled over in front of the school, slipped out of the car and marched up the stairs. The flaps of his suit fluttered in the breeze, kind of like Batman. “Fuck, I’m late,” he said as he reached the top of the stairs and scanned around for Ava’s classroom. He then ran to the door, and the first thing he saw was the back of his daughter’s head… and Bria.

  “Oh.”

  “Oh.”

  “Daddy, look what I made!” Ava said, running up to her dad holding up a piece of paper. His eyes remained fixated on Bria’s face, but then they dropped to the floor and hovered around like they were malfunctioning. “It’s beautiful, sweetheart,” he said without looking at the picture. Bria took a timid step towards him, and then so did he.

  “Kade?” she said after a long pause.

  “Bria.”

  “Woah,” she smiled weakly. “How long has it been?”

  “I don’t know, how long has it been?” he asked, staring up at the ceiling. He blinked at her and she blinked at him, and meanwhile Ava was just tugging at his pants. “High school, huh?”

  “Yeah, high school,” she said, contemplating what to say next. “Right before prom, to be exact.” Kade laughed, and that took away all her panic. His hands were clasped behind his back the entire time, and he was standing a couple of inches too far from her.

  “You got me there,” he said, shuffling his feet nervously. “So, you’re Ava’s teacher, huh? Has she been giving you any trouble?”

  I still can’t believe you have a kid! “No, not at all. She’s a clever girl and she looks just like you.”

  “She looks a lot like her mom, too,” he said, pursing his lips and putting one foot in front of the other. He watched the floor tiles and then his eyes strayed back to his daughter. “Come on, Ava, time to go.”

  All of a sudden her face changed, and when Kade looked at her for just a while longer, she began to cry. The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down her face and chin. The muscles of her cheek trembled, and she wiped her face with one hand, while pointing at Bria with the other hand.

  “What, you want to stay?” Kade asked, crouching down in front of her. Ava nodded, which he didn’t expect, so he just froze there, perched like a bird while his daughter cried her heart out. “Well, I’m pretty sure we can’t stay, now, can we?” He looked up at Bria, who had was tearing up herself.

  “No, we can’t,” she said with her arms folded across her chest. She tugged at her own sleeve, poking into it with her nail until she pierced a hole through the fabric. Her feet were numb and her whole body had gone cold; the whole situation was just awkward. Ava was holding onto her, refusing to leave, like she was her mother. The truth was that Bria just felt bad for the little girl. “But you know what the good news is?” she said after a long pause. “You get to come back tomorrow, and the day after that!”

  “And the day after that,” Kade said.

  “And the day after that.”

  “And the day after that.”

  “And the day- wait, no, it’ll be the weekend. Nevermind.”

  Kade chuckled and then looked out the window. His hands were stuffed into his pockets and he was pacing, almost like he just wanted to get out of there.

  “Come on, sweet Ava,” Bria said, grabbing her by the shoulders and looking her in the eyes. She stomped her feet against the floor -- typical toddler shenanigans.

  “Just let her be, she’ll calm down in a little bit,” Kade said, kicking at the air. He sat down on one of the minuscule chairs, clasping his hands together and staring out the window. He couldn’t look more disinterested. But the truth was that he knew she had moved back to Livingston only a year ago. He also knew that, before moving back, she was living in New York. He knew that she absolutely hated it, and he knew she was single. All because he had her on Facebook. But he never thought to ask, and he still didn’t because it was none of his business.

  The silence settled over them like a heavy rain cloud, and Bri had no choice but to stare out the window herself. It was almost like the two of them were in an elevator, staring at the digits so they didn’t have to look at each other. The whole thing just gave Bria a bitter taste in her mouth. She wondered if he knew anything about her life, if he checked her profile every once in a while as she did his, but the longer she waited for him to start a conversation, the more awkward things got. Bria just thought she’d use Ava as a buffer.

  “You have a beautiful daughter,” she said, staring somewhere over his shoulder.

  “She is, she really is,” he replied, brushing his fingers through his hair. He had a head full of jet black hair and an even fuller beard. Kade went from caressing his hair to stroking his beard; Bria noticed that, despite his classy suit and staggering good looks, Kade seemed pretty miserable. His eyes were surrounded by dark circles and untimely wrinkles, and she could’ve sworn she had seen a lock of silver hair creeping from behind his ear. She wondered what his life was like, who he was married to, but when her eyes fell to his hand, he wasn’t wearing a ring. She had caught herself contemplating whether or not he was single earlier that day but she stopped herself because it was no use. He was clearly not feeling the same way, as was the case, ten years ago. “Did she give you a hard time?”

  Bria snapped out of it. “What, no,” she said, shaking her head frantically. “She’s really smart, you know. Do you like Math?”

  “No, not really. But I know she does.” He paused for a moment and looked up at the ceiling, as if trying to remember something. “I sucked at Math, don’t you remember?”

  The word “remember” always got to Ari. It made her feeling nostalgic, sad, and angry, all at the same time. And it hurt even more coming from him. “No, I don’t really remember,” she said, crossing one leg over the other and flipping her hair to one side. Nice move, Bri.

  “Ava, it’s time to go,” he said again, holding his hand out to her. She had stopped crying, but she was pouting still, looking back at Bria like it was her last time seeing her.

  “I’ll see you tomorrow, darlin’,” Bri said, waving to her. Kade picked her up and she reached both of her hands out to Bria as he carried her away.

  “Thanks for taking good care of her,” Kade said, turning around slowly. “It was nice running into you again after all these years.”

  Bria parted her lips but no words came out. Instead she just waved to him, mumbled something inaudible and then slumped down at the teacher’s desk. She swiveled around in her chair, overthinking all the intricacies of their little interaction, and then at the end she came to a grand conclusion: It didn’t mean shit.

  “Ava, Ava. Could you stop, please? Mom, she won’t stop crying, what do I do?”

  “What the hell happened? Son, put her on speaker. Ava, did that teacher bother you? She sure looked like a bitch to me!”

  “Mom.”

  “Sorry, but why’s she crying?”

  “She didn’t want to leave, can you believe that?”

  “What, she didn’t want to leave the school? Hell, when you were her age, the teacher would catch you trying to jump out the damn window.”

  Kade almost slapped himself. His mother could be a little bit too much sometimes, and even though he doubted her parenting altogether, she was the closest thing to a mother that Ava had. “Here, talk to Grandma,” he said, passing Ava the phone.

  “H-hello?” she sniffed, holding the phone to her ear.

  “Hey, darlin’,” her shrill voice sounded through the other end. “I’ve never seen a girl your age so sad about leaving school. When I was your age I would do anything to get out of there!”

  “Alright, that’s enough,” Kade
yelled, taking the phone back. “I’ll call you back, Mom,” he said before hanging up. He gripped the steering wheel and tried to breathe through his daughter’s unwavering cries and the faint hum of the radio. He really needed a drink.

  Kade wasn’t much of a drinker, but there was something about fatherhood that made alcohol all the more appealing. Come to think of it, he hadn’t had a drink in almost six months now. When Ava’s mom passed, he was getting drunk almost every night, but then he snapped out of it.

  On one of those chilly winter nights, Ava had mastered different ways of opening the door, so she snuck out in the middle of the night for no reason at all. Or at least no reason a grown up could understand, and she just wandered out into the snow and locked herself outside. Luckily, her cries were loud enough for Kade to hear her, so he jerked awake and ran outside, only to find Ava buried in three feet of snow.

  He hadn’t touched a bottle ever since, things were better now. Kade had promised himself not to get that drunk ever again, or at least, never to do it at home. But right now, he just needed some time for himself and with his mother now in the picture, he thought it would be easier to do that. Bria crossed his mind a couple of times; why did Ava even like her so much? At that point, he really had no idea what she was like but she had grown up to be a beautiful woman, that was for sure.

  She was mostly the same, though. Bri was always a fan of the short blond bob, and she never wore a lot of makeup. Come to think of it, being a preschool teacher really suited her. Even today, she was dressed in this cute polka dot dress that really screamed “teacher”, but it sure as hell didn’t scream “prude”, either. Kade shook his head at these thoughts; they weren’t going to get him anywhere. Right now, all he needed to worry about was the crying toddler bouncing up and down in the seat next to him.

  Chapter Six

  “You’ve got to be kidding me,” Savannah, Bria’s long time best friend said, slamming her hands on the table.