Second Chances

by Henley Maverick

  “Woah, careful there,” she said, stopping the centerpiece from toppling over. Savvy looked around her to make sure no one saw that.

  “Well, that was embarrassing,” she said, tossing her long pink mane over her shoulder. Bria had met her on her first day of high school; the two of them had been inseparable ever since. But unlike Bria, Savvy was insane. She lived a fast paced life, traveled a lot and passed the speeding limit more often than not -- and she wasn’t apologetic about it. Sometimes it felt like the two of them were total opposites, but maybe that's why they were friends. If anything, Bri tended to ground Savvy. Part of her best friend duty was to talk her out of sleeping with “that guy by the bar”, and it worked almost every time. Savvy, on the other hand, was having a harder time getting Bri to open up.

  “Being successful is great and all, but have you tried having fun?” Bria would often get offended by Savvy’s accusations, but deep down, she knew she was right. Ever since she became a preschool teacher, it almost felt like it was her duty to be responsible, like her career depended on it -- and it sort of did. “But how are they gonna find out?” Savvy, the devil on her left shoulder, would say, drink in hand. “It’s not like you’ll run into the principle at the Cherry Bites pub.”

  Bria knew she was right but she still couldn’t bring herself to do it. She had around ten dresses lined up at the very back of her closet, all glittery and slutty-looking, and for the first time since college, she really felt like putting them on.

  “What are you having?” Savvy asked, eyeing the menu. “I can’t believe you took me out for lunch for the third time this week.”

  “Hey, what do you have against lunch?” Bri asked.

  “It’s just so boring! I can’t believe I keep falling for it everytime.” Savvy sipped her tea with her shoulders slouched, and Bria watched her with raised eyebrows. “Come on,” she said. “Let’s do something fun.”

  “Like what?” Bria asked, taking a bite of her salmon sandwich.

  “Like go to a club, get shit-faced, stuff like that.” She paused for a moment, her eyes growing wider than Bria had ever seen them. “Oh my God, I totally forgot. You were talking about whatshisface, Kade!”

  “Fuck, I was hoping you’d forget,” Bri said.

  “Well, joke’s on you. When I’m not drunk, I’m sharp as a tack.”

  “Alright, so-”

  “Was it awkward?” Savvy asked, cutting her off.

  “Short answer, yes,” Bria replied, clasping her hands together and pursing her lips, almost like she was ashamed. “He didn’t talk much. For a while we were just sitting there staring out the window like we were riding the subway or something.”

  Savannah chuckled. “Sounds terrible.”

  “It was, and it was even worse having to take care of his kid all day.”

  “Careful, you’re her teacher now,” Savvy said.

  “Well, what if I don’t want to? What if I don’t want to be reminded of him every two seconds?”

  “Oh God, Bri. Are you still not over that whole thing?”

  Bria felt the blood rush to her cheeks. As much as she didn’t want to admit it, even to herself, seeing Kade that day really threw her off balance. And then it sank in that she was probably going to have to see him five days a week. “I really don’t know how I feel about this,” she blurted. “You’re judging me.”

  Savvy had that look about her that drove Bri absolutely insane -- in a bad way. She leaned back in her chair, sat in a way that no lady should, and shook her legs in sheer disapproval. “Damn right I’m judging you. How could you still be in love with him after all those years, after all that he’s done to you?”

  “I’m not in love with him, okay?” Bria said, rather defensively. “Besides, he has a kid. He probably has a girlfriend, too.”

  “Wait, did he and Scarlett get a divorce?”

  Bri pursed her lips and averted her gaze to the floor. Back in high school Savvy didn’t have the best reputation, and so she would make friends with horny college students who hung out in their parents’ garage all day. The fact that she had no idea what had happened to Scarlett last year didn’t come to her as a surprise, but she still didn’t want to talk about it.

  “What, why are you being weird?” Savvy asked, eyeing her friend.

  “You didn’t hear?” Bria hated the useless introductions, but she went ahead and made one, anyway.

  “Hear what? Is she dead or something?”

  Bria looked away, and that was when Savannah started panicking.

  “Oh my God, she’s dead? Are you serious?”

  “Stop yelling, jeez.”

  “Sorry. She’s dead?” she whispered this time. “What happened to her?”

  “She got into a car accident two years ago,” Bria said.

  “And you know about this, how?”

  “Kade and I are Facebook friends, alright?” she clasped her hands in her lap again and looked around like a guilty child. “Back when it happened I thought about sending him a message but then I never did.”

  “Well, good,” Savvy said, leaning in across the table like one of those detectives in the movies. “Wow, life is short, huh?”

  “It is, it really is.”

  “Which is why you should start living, God!” She pulled her hair back and tied it up in a bun half the size of her head. “We’re going clubbing today.”

  Bria paused, considering. “Do I get to wear my ugly sequin dress?” she asked.

  “You can wear whatever the hell you want, but you can’t flake last minute.”

  “I won’t, I won’t,” she insisted.

  Eight hours later, Bria flaked. Or at least she was going to if Savvy hadn’t shown up at her doorstep, fuming like a pitbull. “Why aren’t you answering my texts? We were supposed to meet forty-five minutes ago!”

  Bria pulled her house-robe together and stared down at her bunny slippers.

  “You should be ashamed of yourself.”

  She was, she really was. Bri was not only an overthinker, but an indecisive one too. By six PM she had already thrown all her dresses back into her closet, tucking them away next to a row of ugly Christmas sweaters. Then she sort of pretended like her little interaction with Savvy never happened, hoping that, if she was lucky, Savannah would forget about it, too.

  “Come on, we’re getting you dressed,” she said, barging into Bria’s little bubble. “And you made hot cocoa?” she snapped, giving her that side eye. “I can’t believe you!” She bolted up the stairs and Bri followed, not because she wanted to but because she didn’t trust Savvy enough to leave her alone up there. Who knew what she was going to do with Ari’s postcard collection? “Show me them dresses.”

  Bria let out a frustrated sigh. “Listen, I really appreciate what you’re trying to do. I just really don’t feel like going out tonight.”

  But Savvy continued to ignore her. She raided her closet, rummaged through it until she got her hands on those sequin dresses. “Oh my God, is that your prom dress?” she asked her.

  “The prom that I never went to? Yes, yes it is.”

  “See, that boy’s ruining your entire life,” Savvy said, digging through her clothes. Somewhere in the middle of all her talking, Bri just gave up. She decided to give into the night, to just ‘go with the flow’.

  After around two hours of styling, dressing up, face-caking, and hair poofing, she was ready.

  “Woah, man. You look great!” Savvy said with raised eyebrows. Bria looked herself in the mirror. She had a little cleavage showing tonight, along with a pair of smokey eyes and a raised up-do. She had to admit, Savannah had managed to dress her so she fit in that grey area between slutty and classy.

  “Love it,” she said, twirling around in front of the full-length mirror.

  “Know what tonight is?” Savvy asked, her lips curving to a wry grin. “It’s ladies’ night.”

  Ladies’ night at Cherry Bites was always wild. When they said “unlimited drinks”, they really meant it. �
�You know ladies’ night is just one big sham to get us women to drink so men can take advantage of us, right?”

  Savannah rolled her eyes and shook her head in dismay. “You just love to suck the fun out of everything, don’t you?”

  “I do, I really do.”

  It had been a long time since Bri went out for a drink, even longer since she last got drunk. Her favorite was a Bloody Mary, but Savvy didn’t approve. “We’ll have two tequila shots, please,” she told the bartender.

  “What? No! Where’s my Bloody Mary?” Bri jumped in her stool. Savvy took her hand and squeezed it hard.

  “A Bloody Mary won’t get you drunk, alright?”

  Bri nodded. “Alright.” She had never been to Cherry Bites; inside the club it was like dancing under the Northern Lights, beneath the dry-ice smoke swirled an array of blues, acid greens, hot pinks, and gold. The music played over the dance floor as if had fused with the people’s bodies. To Bria, it looked like everyone was clubbing like this was their last night on Earth, but then again, maybe that was just the way minds avoided thinking about the hangovers to come. As soon as they set foot on the dancefloor, Savvy started dancing, the music moving her like she was a puppet on strings, her head mashing so hard her brain was in shut down mode. The strobe masked so many of her movements, every clap of her hands seemed like it was on pause at different moments. Tomorrow there’d be hell to pay but tonight the alcohol kept on flowing in like it was on an IV drip.

  Bria looked over and Savvy had already downed her shot. “You could’ve at least waited for me,” she yelled over the music.

  “More drinks to come,” she said before ordering another shot. Bria just stared down the tiny shot glass. She then lifted it up to her nostrils and took a large whiff of the tequila before setting it down on the table again. It wasn’t long before the long-haired bartender came back with Savvy’s drink, which she raised up in the air. “To you getting laid tonight,” she said, bringing it up to her lips.

  Together, they downed their shot, making a queasy face after, and then sucking on half a lime each. Bri rubbed it against her top row of teeth and tossed it into the shot glass. “That was gross,” she said.

  “It’s delicious! Wanna dance?”

  Bria climbed off the stool and slowly followed Savvy to the middle of the dance floor. She swayed to the beat of the music, but it wasn’t long before she started feeling like a total idiot. She wasn’t comfortable dancing, especially with all those people jumping up and down around her. Her feet began to hurt and she slowly retreated to the sidelines.

  As she scanned the place, her eyes fell on Savannah again. She was bouncing up and down and banging her head like there was no tomorrow. Never once did she look up or look around or question herself; she was just living. Bria wished she could do the same but she sailed back towards the bar and hopped onto her stool, hoping that Savvy would notice and come to her.

  And what are best friends for? A little while later Savvy clawed her way back to her and the two smiled at each other. “See that guy over there?” Savannah asked, pointing in a vague direction. Bri nodded, pretending to see him. “He came up to me and he was like, “Woah, where did you come from?”

  “And what did you say to him?”

  “I was like, “Shut up and dance with me.””

  Sometimes Bria wished she could be a little bit more like her friend. She scanned the place with her eyes, trying to spot some good looking strangers. “You know what, you were right,” she said. “I do need to get laid tonight.”

  Savvy’s eyes lit up, as though she had just received a Christmas present. “Come on, girl, show me whatcha got!”

  Bri flipped her hair to the side and waltzed towards the dance floor. Tens of drunken strangers awaited her and this time, she was going to scout for one. She knew that, by the end of the night, the dance floor would resemble an abused chess board. On its black and white squares would be spilled drinks and broken glass. With the lights up for clean up, the whole scene that had seemed so exciting and sexual the night before would have all the ambiance of a dirty toilet. The painted on smiles of the staff would have sagged into the epitome of exhaustion. But Bri didn’t have to think about that right now. The night was young. And so was she.

  Soon enough and with more party-goers arriving, she couldn’t even see the dance floor. There was no room but somehow when Bria hit it the space magically came. The music was all techno but she was dancing like it's jive; twisting, turning, holding hands with some stranger as they exchanged sides. She was all grins, looking pretty drunk but she didn’t care. Inside she was just happy, happy and more alive than she ever was at that point in her life. She felt the part of her, that was really her, come out to play. To feel the vibe of the music and let her body be free. One moment, one brilliant feeling of togetherness suspended in time. In ten years she thought she would still remember tonight, because even though she loved the quiet life, she still relished the crazy fun times. Music, friends, good times, dance. Then she could focus, learn the facts, be the good girl.

  At one point she had lost Savvy completely, but she didn’t bother looking for her. Not because she was a bad friend, but because she needed that time for herself. She needed it to let go completely. The purple lights were in her eyes; she was chugging down drink after drink, occasionally running into Savvy, who was also getting drunk, on the dance floor. Bria felt herself being sandwiched between party-goers but her intoxicated self didn’t seem to mind. Savvy had her back though. Whenever they would stray too far from each other, one of them would catch on and check up on the other. And that was what they did for the rest of the night, until Bria found herself a guy to have a little fun with, and Savvy decided to give her a little space.

  Bri was getting progressively drunker and more starry-eyed when a stranger came up from behind her -- in a totally non-creepy way, and started dancing with her. She found herself swaying to the beat of the music, closing her eyes and feeling her body rub up on his. He twirled her around at one point and she felt her skirt go up and her thighs shiver with goosebumps. She spun around a couple of times until she started feeling dizzy and when she fell over she felt herself being swept up by a pair of strong arms, that turned her on even more. She got back up on her feet and started dancing again; at one point she twisted her fingers into the stranger’s hair, feeling its softness. He was just a silhouette to her, a product of her intoxication, but she didn’t mind.

  And she didn’t think she would regret it in the next morning either.

  At one point she looked over at Savvy, only to find her dancing with the fourth stranger that night. When they were in college, she would always be critical of Savvy’s behavior, only to find out, years later, that she was only living her life. She was always the type to dance on tables, to hook up with men, to go on road trips, while Bri played it safe; she hung out in her dorm room often. Went out on dates every once in a while and dedicated herself wholly to her studies. They were really polar opposites.

  Fast forward ten years later and Bri was grinding on some stranger at a club, not caring who the hell he was.

  “I’ll be right back,” she said, walking over to the bar again. Her legs wobbled underneath her, but she marched on, ordering one last drink and calling it a night. That one really got to her. She stumbled back towards the mystery man, her eyes blurrier than ever, and then she held his face in her hands and kissed him. He kissed her back. In fact the two of them made out quite passionately but he was a silhouette to her still.

  The music just got louder and louder and Bri forgot to check the time. The night just rolled by, and the people continued to dance. Savvy had gotten tired, so she went back and sat by the bar. For the first time, she was probably much more sober than Bri was. So she continued to watch her from afar, making sure that no one hurt her, eyeing her the way a guardian would their kid, just to make sure they were safe.

  Meanwhile Bri could feel the stranger’s hands around her waist, his fingers digging into her
flesh in the sexiest way imaginable. He caressed her gently as the two of them swayed and grinded. Even though Bri couldn’t make out his face just yet, she found his hands quite sexy. They felt like sandpaper, or perhaps stone, rough and unfinished. They were warm as he brought them up to his lips, her nerves tingling at the harsh comfort of contact.

  Bria hadn’t been with anyone since Kade. It sounded crazy, she thought, but it was the truth. She had gone out on a bunch of dates, but they never amounted to anything. Just small talk and a free dinner, nothing more. Whenever she would meet someone that she even remotely liked she would back away almost instantly, all because she didn’t want to get hurt again. “Why don’t you just go for something physical?” Savvy would ask her.

  “Because it won’t amount to anything,” Bri would reply, matter-of-factly.

  “That’s the whole point! No expectations means nobody gets hurt.” And she was right. But Bria knew herself, she was always the type to get hurt, the type to get her hopes up over people who didn’t deserve it. “Wait, I have a question,” she said suddenly, squinting at Bri like a detective. “Have you not had sex ever since you and Kade were together?”

  Bria bit her lip and that was when Savvy knew.

  “Oh my freaking God!” she said, slamming her hand on the table like she always does.

  “Stop being dramatic, okay?” Bri said to her at the time.

  “I’m being dramatic? You’re the one that hasn’t had sex in a decade!”

  Bria’s heart sank to her knees. Her hands spread like pale brushes around her standard-issue coffee cup, and she pursed her lips like a child accused of something. “Well, if you put it that way,” she murmured. It all sounded pretty terrible at the time, but fast-forward a couple of months and Bria was feeling up a strange man at a club with Savvy watching her from the sidelines. Boy, did that feel good.

  Tell him he has nice hands, she thought to herself, but all that came out of her were incoherent mumbles, to which he never responded.