Love & Loss (The Austin Series)

by C. J. Fallowfield

  ‘Like this,’ I smiled.

  ‘Yes, push your shoulders back, let me see those gorgeous breasts sticking out.’

  I did as he asked, with no embarrassment factor at all. He loved me, he loved my body and in turn he’d made me love it. I wanted to be sexy and hot for him, as much as he was for me. I cried out his name as I felt him swell inside me even more, I was so full of him and he felt so good inside me I had to dip forwards and rest my hands on his chest to stop myself toppling backwards, my hair fell down, tumbling around my shoulders and onto him.

  ‘Mia, you’re so beautiful baby. Keep looking at me, let me see those stunning eyes.’

  I parted my lips as I tried to keep up with my sudden need for oxygen, the way he was looking up at me, so full of love and passion made me tingle more than the chilly air. ‘Gabe I’m going to come … and I need … to scream,’ I panted as we worked as one, my clit rubbing on his pelvis firing off signals to my brain that I couldn’t shut off, didn’t want to shut off. I didn’t care I was naked on a lit up roof, where any of the taller skyscrapers occupants could just look out and see me, I just wanted to give myself to him with complete abandonment.

  ‘Scream, let it out, let me hear what I do to you,’ he pleaded as he let go of my hips and cupped my swinging breasts, gently tugging at my pink nipples.

  ‘Gabe,’ I uttered as my insides started to clench and the familiar sensation ran up and down my spine simultaneously. I felt my toes spasm and flung my head back as my whole body started convulsing and screamed his name as loud as I could. I was vaguely aware of him groaning and lifting himself right up into me, trembling below me. I felt myself moving sideways as he rolled me onto my back and nuzzled my neck as I tried to catch my breath, my jaw ajar and my eyes still unfocussed.

  ‘I love hearing you come, seeing you come, just for me. I want it again, can you come for me again?’ he asked. I still hadn’t regained control of my body or senses and gasped for air under him as he gently lay on top of me, I wasn’t sure I could go again, but he needed it, he deserved it. I nodded and registered him sliding out of me and heard myself groan. He’d come in me twice now, yet he was going down there. Part of me was revolted when he did that, but another part of me loved that he just didn’t care, he enjoyed slipping his tongue inside me while I was still warm from him coming inside me.

  I made a garbled high pitched noise as I felt his slight stubble against my thighs and the gentlest flick of his tongue across my swollen clit. I was completely exposed now, the blanket had gone, I was lying spread-eagled with his face between my legs, somehow I no longer felt the cold, I was on fire. I felt his fingers caressing my stomach as his thumbs dug into my inner thighs and his tongue swept up and down, around and circled in a figure of eight before gently probing me inside.

  ‘Ahhhh,’ I cried as my back arched off the recliner and my fingers found his hair and splayed through it, gently raking his scalp. I heard him groan into me and my body re-awoke itself and I found myself wrapping my ankles around his shoulders and rocking against him, which seemed to spur him on to be more forceful in the thrusts of his tongue. Who was I kidding? I didn’t need to step up my running or gym work, this was the best stomach toning exercise out there. ‘Noooo,’ I cried as I felt my fingers and toes curl again. He held my stomach down firmly, making sure my orgasm hit me full on and before it had even ebbed he suddenly pulled himself up and thrust into me and came again instantly.

  ‘MIA,’ he yelled as he juddered above me then collapsed on me. I lay looking up at the sky and the buildings around and above us wondering how many people were watching, how many people we’d inspired to get down and dirty at the same time and it made me giggle.

  ‘What?’ he mumbled in my neck as he kissed it and pulled his head back.

  ‘Just wondering how many people watched that and are doing it themselves as a result.’ He laughed and reached down to pull the blanket back up over us. He stayed inside me, propped up on his forearms as he repeatedly kissed me.

  ‘Wow,’ he sighed eventually.

  ‘You can say that again.’

  ‘I got hard again so quickly, I hope you didn’t mind me coming in you again.’

  ‘Of course not, I’m sorry I wasn’t more receptive to moving my hips for you.’

  ‘I didn’t give you a chance,’ he laughed. ‘I came as soon as I buried myself in you. It got me so ready tasting us both and the thought of us being up here on display. What were you trying to say earlier?’

  ‘When I went flahga blah blur something?’

  ‘No, though that was funny, it sounded like another language.’

  ‘It was. The “Gabe’s rendered me incapable of speech because he makes me come too hard” language. You really should be quite familiar and proficient in it now, given the amount of times you’ve made me come since you deflowered me.’

  ‘Mia I don’t think I can even put into words how good it makes me feel to make you come. That I can put that look on your face is just … everything to me.’

  ‘And I love coming for you, really, I’m just a giver.’

  ‘Hmmm aren’t you just, you come so easily,’ he smiled as he rubbed his nose up and down mine and rolled onto his side, taking me with him and hooking one leg over mine to keep me against him as he ran his fingers around my hair line.

  ‘No, you make me come so easily. I never did like this with my fingers or toys.’

  ‘God stop or you’ll make me hard again. I’d really like to see you masturbate for me when you’re lying in bed in our new house, with your beautiful hair all fanned out, that Vaseline you use to make your lips all moist and glistening and maybe that sexy black thing on that you were wearing last night.’

  ‘You’ve not given this much thought at all have you?’ I giggled.

  ‘No not really,’ he grinned back and kissed me. ‘Anyway stop distracting me. You were talking about how much sex I want and asking me if I was holding back?’

  ‘I just don’t want you to feel that if you want it more than we already do it that you can’t ask or initiate.’

  ‘What’s got you going down this track? Have I given you any indication that I’m unhappy?’

  ‘No of course you haven’t, but I know you’re a very sexual person Gabe and I don’t want you to go without because you think I’ll judge you. If you want to do it more I will, I mean I’m not going to be chained to the bed all the time, well I don’t mind chains some of the time,’ I giggled, ‘but if we’re in a position where we could and you want to, don’t hold back because you think I’ll place restrictions on the number of times a day I’m prepared to do it. Sometimes I feel like you’re holding back in case you offend me, I know you’re not a sex addict, you proved that with our recent drought, I know you love sex so often because it’s with me. Equally I don’t want you to be discouraged or put off approaching me if there is the odd time I say no. Does that make sense?’

  ‘I think so yes. I can’t believe how secure you’ve become lately, what’s changed? You complained in Scotland we were doing it too much and that was all that was holding us together and now you really seem to believe that I want it so often because it’s you, which it is by the way.’

  ‘Not having sex with me was the right thing to do,’ I shrugged. ‘It made me realise that we loved each other even without the sex. I guess this helps as well,’ I said looking at my rock. ‘It shows me how much you love me, I just feel really confident in us and I want to make sure you’re happy and I know how much sex makes you happy.’

  ‘God if it were even possible I think I’ve just fallen in love with you even more,’ he sighed peppering me with kisses all over my face.

  ‘So you’re happy then?’ I teased.

  ‘Hmmm incredibly so. The same goes for you Mia, I told you that I don’t want you to be embarrassed about asking me for sex if you want it and I haven’t initiated it. The mere fact that I know you want me like that makes me hard in an instant, equally I don’t mind just giving you orgasms
without sex if that’s what you need.’

  ‘Then we have a deal Mr Austin, we will both be more vocal about our needs and not be offended by too many requests or refusals.’

  ‘Deal, right I’m taking you downstairs you’re starting to shiver. I’m going to put you in the hot shower while I make you a hot chocolate and we can have some of that cheesecake that’s going to go to waste in the fridge.’

  ‘O God,’ I groaned. ‘Yes please.’

  He insisted on lifting me up and carrying me back to the elevator, handing me our clothes as we left everything else strewn everywhere and he pressed a button for Seb as we stepped out. He carried me into the shower, turning it on extra hot for me giving me a kiss before he disappeared. I cleaned up and went to pull on my t-shirt again and decided to be more sexy and pulled out the see through off the shoulder lace mini lingerie dress and put on the marabou heels that he’d missed the other night as he’d fallen asleep on the sofa.

  ‘Hey I hope you’ve left me some cheesecake?’ I asked as I posed against the door frame with my ankles crossed and my hands behind my back. He was sitting at the island eating a forkful as I spoke and he looked up at me and his mouth dropped.

  ‘How many sexy black numbers did you buy?’ he asked, his eyes wide and fork frozen mid-air.

  ‘Just the two and a red one for a bit of variance,’ I smiled. ‘You like?’ I asked as I did a twirl. He gulped and nodded putting his fork down.

  ‘I like it enough to want to take you up on that vocalising when I want sex deal.’

  ‘Really? What about your hot chocolate?’

  ‘It’ll microwave.’

  ‘Ok, where do you want me Sir?’

  ‘Up against the window taking you from behind,’ he said in a lower voice, laced with lust. I did a little shimmy of excitement and went and palmed the glass like I’d made him do earlier and looked at him over my shoulder. He got up and prowled over towards me, like a tiger.

  ‘If you got these outfits here, we’re stopping in the same store to get some in white and hot pink as well,’ he growled.

  ‘Then you can get more of those sexy silk boxers too,’ I winked then squealed at he rushed at me.

  Monday

  After a very unhealthy, but enjoyable cheesecake breakfast, Gabe held my hand tightly as we perused the lingerie section at Bergdorf Goldman and he insisted on paying for more sexy nightwear for me and another few pairs of his silk boxer trunks and we headed out and started making our way back down Fifth Avenue to Tiffany’s.

  ‘Are you ok?’ I asked as I looked up at him.

  ‘Great,’ he smiled. ‘Why?’

  ‘You seem very quiet this morning.’

  ‘We’re going home tomorrow.’

  ‘Are you getting stressed about it again? Like you did when we came home from Edinburgh?’

  ‘I’m trying not to, but I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t bothering me.’

  ‘Well we’re going to be at each other’s sides all over Christmas until we move in, so try and relax about it. We have a seven odd hour flight home where we can talk about what’s bothering you and how I help you, so we don’t get back to that horrible place we were in last a couple of weeks ago ok?’ I rubbed his bicep reassuringly.

  ‘You make it sound so easy,’ he sighed.

  ‘I’m sure it won’t be Gabe, for either of us, but we agreed that we both want this relationship to work, even with both of our issues, so we’re going to make it work ok? What can I do to help you feel better about us going home?’

  ‘By not arguing with me in here,’ he replied as he held the door to Tiffany’s open for me. We spent half an hour browsing the glass display units and Gabe requested some assistance and I had my finger measured before he pointed out the items that he wanted me to try. I was slightly nervous straight away, as he was looking at rings that looked like engagement rings and that wasn’t what I wanted. ‘What’s wrong Mia?’

  ‘I’m not arguing, as I’d love to wear another ring from you Gabe, but I don’t want one that looks like an engagement ring. I love this ring and I want to be able to wear it properly when I felt ready, not to have some similar smaller version of it to tide me over.’

  ‘Ok, well let’s go and look for something non-engagementy that we both like.’ He found it first, but as soon as I saw it I felt the smile spreading across my face. He’d spotted a white gold ring made up of linked open hearts, one of which was completely set with tiny diamonds and he looked at me with one eyebrow raised as I bit my lip and nodded.

  ‘I love it,’ I whispered, happy he’d seen it first.

  ‘Really? It’s not very expensive.’

  ‘It’s not about the money Gabe, it’s what it symbolises and I love it, I really do.’

  ‘Then this is the one baby,’ he agreed. I tiptoed up and kissed him and the assistant smiled. Gabe asked me to go and browse while he finished up. I couldn’t believe how beautiful some of the stuff was, and how expensive. I was glad we’d found something we both liked that didn’t cost a fortune. I felt his hand caress my bottom and looked up to see him beaming at me.

  ‘I hope you didn’t buy the whole shop,’ I teased.

  ‘Just half of it,’ he winked. ‘Right, we better go and meet Sofia.’ He tightened my scarf around my neck and took my gloved hand, sighing when he looked at my bare head.

  ‘I couldn’t wear my hat Gabe, I’d get hat hair and no one wants to go to Tiffany’s with hat hair or go out for lunch somewhere nice like that either. It’s bad enough we’re in jeans,’ I protested as we hit the busy sidewalk.

  ‘Sofia said jeans with a smart top was fine Mia, stop worrying.’

  ‘She’s very classy Gabe, I don’t want to look out of place,’ I sighed. I was in my black skinny jeans, black patent riding boots and my Emu merino wool jacket. I was wearing a silver grey silk v-neck jumper underneath, back home I’d find this smart casual, but we were in New York, the fashion capital of the world and I felt a bit out of place.

  ‘You look beautiful, like you always do baby.’ He planted a kiss on my forehead. ‘I’m in jeans too,’ he added squeezing my hand.

  ‘Yes but you’re you, you look good in anything Gabe and today … you’re looking really good.’ I let my eyes do quick scan of his body as he laughed. He was in his grey jeans with a white fitted shirt tucked in, a black skinny tie and his Oxfords and bomber jacket. ‘Why have we not scheduled in sex time today?’

  ‘I was beginning to think the same myself. We’ve only done it once this morning and when we get back this afternoon we need to pack.’

  ‘Don’t bring me down, we’ve had an amazing few days, I don’t want to think about packing. How are you feeling about lunch?’

  ‘Great, I’m starving.’

  ‘I meant meeting Sofia on our own.’

  ‘O right,’ he frowned and chewed his bottom lip. That was a sign he was mulling his thoughts over, so I carried on walking at his side and took the opportunity to people watch, while sussing out what was fashionable over here as I waited for him to talk. We walked around the edge of the park in the direction of her apartment and I heard him sigh. ‘She seems nice.’

  ‘She is.’

  ‘I don’t want another mother Mia.’

  ‘You’re an adult now Gabe, you don’t need one, plus I don’t think she’d try to be one anyway. No one can ever replace your Mum.’

  ‘Dad obviously really cares about her.’

  ‘I think he does.’

  ‘You really don’t think she’s just after him for his money?’

  ‘Gabe look at the area she lives in, she’s certainly not short of money herself, and I told you he’s given her a credit card. She didn’t use it all night Saturday when she took me out, she paid for everything herself.’

  ‘I just don’t like the idea of him getting hurt again. You didn’t see him after Mum died, he was a wreck.’

  ‘As were you Gabe by all accounts and look at you, you’ve taken a risk and opened your heart again. Do you
regret doing that?’ I looked up at him and he shook his head. ‘See and I’ve done the same and even with all our drama I wouldn’t change letting you in for anything.’ I smiled at him as I squeezed his hand tightly and he pulled me up and gave me a chaste kiss on the lips.

  ‘You really think that she can make him as happy as you do me?’

  ‘It doesn’t matter what we think Gabe, it just matters that your Dad does and that he’s happy with her. Trust that he knows what he’s doing, just like you did. I’m sure if he wasn’t convinced he won’t have even started the relationship, let alone let it get this far.’

  ‘God you’re so sweet. I love you, you know that right?’

  ‘Of course I do Gabe,’ I smiled. ‘You tell me all the time, you show me, you protect me and take care of me. Plus if that weren’t enough you spend a ridiculous amount of unnecessary money on me, but just to make sure I’m convinced kiss me and remind me again.’ He did, until I had to pull away and beg him to stop. ‘We’ll never make to Sofia’s, come on.’

  We were shown to the wrought iron elevator in the beautiful old building and made our way up, to a penthouse yet again. The doors opened and we found ourselves in a marble lobby and pressed the doorbell on the double mahogany doors and I smiled up at Gabe and squeezed his hand.

  ‘Gabe, Mia,’ Sofia declared with a big smile as she opened the door, ‘Welcome, please come on in.’

  ‘Hello Sofia,’ Gabe said as he stepped forwards and let go of my hand to palm her shoulder as he kissed her on each cheek. He stepped aside and I did the same, relieved to see she was wearing jeans with brown heels and a white shirt.

  ‘Mia, lovely to see you again.’

  ‘You too Sofia. Thank you so much for inviting us to your home.’

  ‘You’re welcome. Put your bags down, come, let’s have a drink.’

  I tried to stifle a gasp as we walked down a corridor into a large open plan room, panelled with the same dark wood. You could have fitted three of Roberts open plan kitchen lounge diners in this room and there were large French windows all down the front of it with views over Central Park.