"You said you 'been missing this dick right...throw it back for me then. Show me how much you missed it.” She threw her ass back to him, sliding her walls back and forth on his manhood.
"Yeah, just like that..." He groaned, gripping her ass.
Wrapping his arm around her waist, he held her tightly and placed soft kisses on her neck, reveling in the scent of her sweet lotion and hot sweat emitting from her skin. They kissed each other passionately as they both ascended to paradise.
They didn’t even make it to the bed.
After sexing all around his home, they had collapsed in exhaustion on his living room floor. Vance was seated upright with his back leaned against the wall, as Zara's naked body spread across his lap. They had been on the floor for an entire hour, recovering from the intense sex they had.
Vance stared at Zara as she drew out puffs of her cigarette. He wondered what it was about this girl that kept him coming back. Never in a million years, would he have imagined himself in this position. He was supposed to be hating her, shunning her away every chance he got but here she was, in his home once again. This wasn't like him. Although he had a big sexual appetite, never had he allowed pussy to cloud his judgments. But this...this was making him lose his senses. Was the pussy that good that he couldn't even think logically? Or was it something deeper? He didn't want to think about the possibility. But, deep down, he knew something was brewing between them. He felt it.
Was he beginning to catch feelings for Zara?
The thought made him cringe. He couldn't be.
"What?"
Her soft voice tore him from his thoughts. She peered at him, with those bold almond shaped eyes that always seemed to have the power of drawing him in. He shook his head, mumbling 'nothing.'
He should've been kicking her out at this point. He already got what he needed. But for some reason, he didn't quite want to. At least not yet.
"What did you do today?" he asked, curiously.
"Nothin' much, just went to the tatt shop."
"Then what took you so long to answer my texts?"
The fact that she hadn't returned his texts still bothered him.
"Because, I was the tatt shop, like I said. Sorry, I didn't respond to you quick enough daddy," she shot back with sarcasm.
He gave her a look. He couldn't help but grin. Smart ass fucking mouth.
"So, what'd you get done?" he asked, surveying the tattoos adorning her body.
"Just got a touch up on my lower back. It started fading a bit, so he shaded it in for me." She swiped her dreads over her shoulder, showing him the tattoo on her lower back.
Vance gently ran his fingertips across the tattoo, getting a closer glimpse. It appeared to be a tribal symbol of some sort and he wondered what it meant.
"What does it mean?"
"Strength."
He nodded, admiring the immaculate artwork. "Looks nice."
"Thanks, hurt like a bitch though." She faintly smiled.
He surveyed more of her tattoos. She had some across her back, forearms, pelvic area and under her breasts that he had noticed the first time he ever saw her naked. He had never really been into women with tattoos. In his mind he always thought tattoos tainted a woman's body. He liked a woman's body to be pure and blemishes. But Zara, was the exception. Hers weren't trashy looking, instead each artwork was finely done in the right places that didn't take away any essence of her femininity.
"How many do you have?" he asked, interested.
"About 20, I think. I lost count, to be honest."
"Damn."
"Yeah, I know. It's an addiction," she said sheepishly.
He peered closer at the cursive lettering encrypted on her rib cage. "Lost myself in love..."
She shifted a bit, giving him a better glimpse. "Lost myself in love, only to find liberation in my own strength," she finished.
He nodded. "Deep."
"Yeah, I got that a while back when I was going through some things," she said lowly.
"Things like what?"
She let out a deep sigh. "Just...being in love with men who weren't good for me. I didn't love myself back then, so I put up with a lot of shit I shouldn't have, just trying to be loved. Left me broken for a while...but I'm still here standing so, I guess that's what counts." She faintly smiled.
Even in her smile, he sensed her pain.
"Love's a bitch, though."
"Why you say that?" He leaned his head against the wall.
"Because of what it does to you. It controls every part of you, it makes you weak, It blinds you to what you want to see instead of what you should be seeing. You could end up falling in love with a person, you know is wrong for you but no matter how much you fight it, you can't. You only lose yourself in the process trying to. That's why love is a bitch."
Her words unsettled him for some unbeknownst reason.
"You ever felt love like that?"
He snapped out of his thoughts and he met her peering gaze. He thought about her question for a moment, before shaking his head.
"Nah, never allowed myself to."
"How come?"
"Why would I?"
"So, you've never really been in love then," she assumed.
"Nah, I've been in love. I just never let a woman get me to that point."
With a slow nod, she fiddled with her cigarette without a word. Her previous words still lingering in his head, he spoke up," And I don't think love makes you weak either. I just think it depends on the individual."
"Really."
"Yeah, nobody is in control of you but you. You only become weak if you allow yourself to be."
She stared at him. "You ever been hurt?"
"By love? Nah, I haven't."
There may have been one instance when his first crush back in elementary school broke his heart, but that didn't count.
"Well, until you've really felt the pain from love, then you'll never understand what I'm talking about."
"So, you're saying I gotta be hurt to understand love?"
"For someone like you, yeah."
"Someone like me?" He cocked a brow.
"Yes, someone with control issues."
"I don't have control issues," he argued.
"Yes, you do."
"I just don't allow myself to become weak for anybody. Nobody should."
"Alright, whatever you say, Mr. I-Have-To-Be-In-Control-All-The-Time." She rolled her eyes.
He shrugged with a smile. "Okay, I'll take that."
If she thought he had control issues, then so be it. It was better than being weak.
The ringing of her phone broke the silence and Zara jumped up to answer it. He watched her as she paced around the room, the sight of her bare ass turning him on.
"Ugh, where the hell is my phone?"
When she tripped on her feet, Vance grinned.
"Shut up, Vance. It's not funny." She shot him a glare.
He smirked. Her little quirks always seemed to amuse him.
When she finally found her purse, she pulled out her phone and answered it.
"Hey baby," she said in a cheery tone.
His mood shifted. It didn't take a genius to realize who was on the other line.
"Oh nothing much..." She paced around idly. "Just woke up. How're you...No, it's fine. I planned on getting up anyway...huh? Uh, yeah after the tattoo shop I got really tired..."
Vance shook his head at her ability to lie so well. This wasn't the first time she lied about her whereabouts when she was with him. He almost felt sorry for the dude. He was a sucker.
"Aww, I miss you too," she said sweetly.
Vance rolled his eyes. Bullshit.
Sick of her act, he decided to make things interesting just for the hell of it. He got up and snuck behind her. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she jumped, startled. She tried to shove him away, but he tightened his hold.
"Oh, what am I doing for the rest of the night?" she said, hesitantly.
"Me,"
he whispered, kissing her neck. She cleared her throat.
"Uh, nothing." She nudged him in the stomach, only causing him to grin. "Yeah, I would definitely love that....I know, I felt like I haven't see in you so long even though it's only been a couple of days."
He cupped her womanhood and she gasped.
"Uh, hold on for a second." She covered her phone speaker, and shot Vance a glare. "Vance, stop."
"What?" he said, innocently.
"I'm serious. If you don't quit, I'm gonna beat your ass," she warned.
He laughed. "Beat my ass?"
"Yes, now stop." She put the phone back on her ear. "Yeah, hello?"
Beat his ass? She couldn't be serious. Taking her up on her challenge, he touched her clit and she flinched. Heaving in a deep breath, she stopped talking. He rubbed it slowly, feeling it ripen from arousal.
"U-uh, no, I haven't...I haven't eaten..." She voiced with a faint moan and cleared her throat. "No, I haven't eaten there before."
He groaned, hardening at the feeling of her wetness on his fingers. He wanted nothing more than to get up inside of her tight pussy and hear her scream his name. Kissing her neck, he tended to the crook of her neck, an area he learned to be her weak spot. Whenever he kissed her there, she melted like butter in his palm. A moan slipping from her lips, she removed the phone from her ear.
"Sss...shittt..." She moaned, grasping his hand to stop him. "Vance...."
"Tell ya man you busy..." he whispered. He wasn't ready to let her go just yet. He needed one more round.
After a moment, she put the phone back to her ears. "Um, h-hello?..oh no, I'm here...huh? oh it's nothing. But anyway, what were you saying?"
Her voice trembled as she fought to keep restraint. She was seconds away from reaching her breaking point. Which was exactly what he wanted. He wanted to break her down. Wanted her to cum right on the spot.
"Hang up the phone, Za..."
She bit her lip, stifling her moans. She roughly grabbed his dick and he jumped back in pain.
"Ah, fuck!" he bellowed out, stumbling weakly over his feet.
She shot him a glare.
"Oh, it's nothing, just this movie I was watching. But um, anyway, 8:00 sounds great. See you tonight. Okay, bye." She hung up.
Vance huffed out a curse word, groaning in pain.
"What the fuck is wrong with you? Did you not see me on the phone? Why would you go and do something like that?"
"I was tryna help you out."
"Help me out, how? By trying to ruin my relationship?"
"Wait, what?"
She shook her head, picking up her clothes.
"Holdup, how is this my fault? You're the one fucking around on ya man, not me." He scowled.
"So, that still doesn't give you the right to do that while I'm on the phone with him," she scolded and began putting on her underwear. "Look, Sean is a good guy. I don't wanna ruin what we have."
"Well, you're doing a pretty good job at it baby girl," he retorted.
Zara rolled her eyes. "Whatever."
He scoffed. She really was something else.
"So, let me ask you something, if you care about this dude so much, why're you always over here with me then? Huh?" He frowned, edging closer. He stood inches away, towering her frame. "Why you ain't with him, half the time?"
She ignored him, putting on her clothes.
"Look at you, you can't even answer me."
"No, I just don't feel like entertaining your shit. You get on my nerves."
"Oh, I get on your nerves," He said, amused.
"Yes, you do."
"You like it though," he whispered, kissing her neck. Her breaths quickened, her body weakening from the touch of his lips. He waited for her to push him away, but she didn't.
"Vance..."
He slid his hand in her underwear and touched her clit. She moaned. He could already feel her wetness soaking his fingers and it fired him with arousal.
"Vance, I have to go..."
"Why you leaving so soon? Stay for a lil' bit," he whispered. He felt better with her company.
"I can't..." She shook her head.
Despite her words, he picked her up and a gasp fleeted from her lips. She wasn't going to leave right now. Not until he got another taste.
He placed her on the couch, ripped off her underwear and plied her legs open. Before she could utter another word, he thrashed his tongue against her ripe clit. She gasped.
"Shit!"
Vance savored her sweet taste as every drip of her juices flooded his tongue. She squirmed restlessly on the couch, grasping the back of his head as she plunged him deeper in her ocean.
He knew then and there, he had her right where he wanted her.
Chapter 30
A light brush against her cheek snapped Zara out of her thoughts. Her eyes fleeted across the table at Sean, and she sighed, realizing she had allowed her mind to drift off once again.
"You okay? You've been pretty quiet tonight," he asked with concern.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she said lowly.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, I just got a lot on my mind," she said, toying her food with her fork.
"Wanna talk about it?" She shook her head.
Zara hated herself for thinking of Vance at a time like this. Why the hell couldn't she get his ass out of her mind? She was supposed to be enjoying a beautiful night of dinner with her man and here she was, reminiscing on the earth shattering sex they shared earlier. The way he had her body trembling, every part of her aching with pleasure as he put it on her so damn good, she just couldn't get enough. Each time she told herself it was wrong, each time she said it would be the last time, she ended up giving into him. She felt like a fiend succumbing to a fix, and the part that scared her the most, was that she knew this feeling all too well. Battling with drugs in the past, left the same feeling of desperation, the dire need to feed the manifesting demon of addiction. Except this addiction was no longer drugs. It was Vance. A self-serving, arrogant, bastard whom she loved with every fiber of her being.
She felt stupid.
In fact, she knew she was. For her to risk her relationship with a good man for someone like Vance, she was...crazy. She didn't expect for everything to get to this point. But something about that man, made her weak. Incoherent. And as delusional as she was, whenever she was around him, everything felt so...right.
God, she hated him.
"Babe." Sean grasped her hand, diverting her attention. "You sure you’re okay? You're starting to have me worried."
"No, I'm fine, really," She forced a smile and kissed his lips from across the table.
"I hope so. And if you ever need to talk, you know I'm here." Her heart pained with guilt. He was such a good man.
"And I take it you're not really hungry." He hitched his chin to her plate.
"Huh?" She looked down at the food on her plate, realizing she had barely even touched it. "Oh, no I am. I'm just taking my time."
Sean had taken her to an upscale, 5 star Mediterranean restaurant. The place was exquisite, the ambiance emitting prestige and prominence. She was sure nothing but rich folks ate here, judging by the fancy attire they were dressed in, and the high priced foods that were enough to burn a hole in her pockets like hot acid on bare skin. Sean seemed to take a liking to places like these. He was always taking her to fancy dinners, Broadway shows, art galleries, and other trips she wasn't necessarily used to or into. Although she didn't mind it, in fact she enjoyed doing these things with him, sometimes she preferred to just kick back and have some casual fun, like a simple a pool game or a movie. And at a time like this, she would've much rather preferred something lighter to help get her mind off Vance.
"Oh yeah, I meant to tell you," Sean spoke up. "My parents are having a Thanksgiving dinner at their house next week and I was hoping you would come."
She paused. "Next week?"
She had totally forgotten Thanksgiving was next week. She for damn sure didn't want t
o go. As much as she would like to celebrate the occasion with Sean, meeting his parents wasn't something she was ready for. For a while now, he had been asking her to meet his family but each time she turned him down, claiming she wasn't ready. She didn't exactly have a clean record, or some prestigious career of some sort. She was a recovering drug addict with a criminal background who lived at her sister's house because she didn't have a pot to piss in. She wasn't exactly the type of woman a man should take home to his mother. She knew that much.
"Sean, I don't think that's a good idea." She sighed.
"Why not?"
"Because, I'm not exactly the type of woman you take home to mother."
He pinched the bridge of his nose. "Here we go with this again."
"Well, it's the truth. Be honest, you really think your mom would accept someone like me?"
"Yes, she would." He stared into her eyes. "And she would have to, because you're my woman and she'd have to respect that."
Zara let out a sigh. Despite what he said, she didn't believe that.
"Zara, how do you expect us to work if you keep having doubts about us?"
"Because, I just don't understand why you would wanna be with someone like me. You could have any girl you want, your rich, successful, good looking, I mean...why me?" She hated to sound so insecure, but she just needed to know.
"Because, I love you." Her breath escaped her.
"W-what?" she whispered.
"I love you," he repeated, staring at her.
Stunned, Zara couldn't find the words to speak.
"I didn't wanna say it so soon, but I felt it the moment I laid eyes on you." He grasped her hand, rubbing it with his thumb.
Zara's heart whirled with emotions. He had thrown her completely for a loop, and she honestly didn't know what to say.
"Sean..." She shut her eyes, her heart deepening with guilt. She suddenly felt the need to cry. What did she do to deserve a man like this?
"I...I love you too," she forced the words from her throat.
A warm smile spread across his lips and he placed a soft kiss on the back of her hand.
"It means a lot to hear you say that," he said, softly.
She forced a smile.
"We're gonna make this work, okay? From here on out, what happened in the past stays in the past. What matters most, is right now. This moment. I love you, Zara and I want the world to know it."
Ashes Page 17
