The edge of life: Official cover - coming soon

by Rachael Tonks

  “Well, look who it is,” his voice is droll and robotic. I turn to see Jax glaring at me, arms folded, and eyes narrowed on me.

  “I wondered how long it would take for you to show your pathetic ass around here.”

  I let out a sharp breath. “I should put a fucking bullet in that rotten fucking skull of yours for that little stunt you tried with Kailee.” I growl, my annoyance growing and my nostrils flaring.

  “You shouldn’t have got involved,” he snarls. “Business is business; you fucking know this.”

  “What’s wrong with you?” I roar. “What sort of fucking person have you become?”

  “One with fucking balls, Ryder. More than can be said for you. You’ve lost everything, all because of a bit of cheap pussy. Pussy you can find anywhere if you tried looking for it,” he quips.

  “Don’t you dare.” I grit my teeth together, using every ounce of restraint I have not to unleash my rage on him right here, right now. “Don’t you talk about Kailee like that.”

  “She’s your weakness, Ryder. Your Achilles’ heel. Be careful, brother…” He turns and walks away from me, back toward Eric’s trailer. I charge after him, landing a heavy hand on his shoulder.

  “It fucking stops,” I roar loudly, spinning him until he’s facing me. “It stops now. I will not go to war with you and think yourself very fucking lucky I haven’t already buried you six feet under.”

  “No,” he shouts back, his teeth on show as he snarls at me. “You killed Eric, OUR father, OUR real father.”

  “Do you know exactly what happened, Jax? Did you ever stop to ask Mom what the fucking truth is, huh?” I push him on the chest, causing him to step back, the force making him unsteady.

  “She’s a fucking whore, that’s the truth.” He spits his venomous words at me, causing me to lose my shit. I run at him, forcing him to the ground, and my whole weight pins him to the ground. I grab his shirt, thrusting him back against the ground.

  “He fucking raped her, you stupid motherfucker.” I can’t help but shake him, his head hitting the ground repeatedly. “Don’t ever mention that sick fuck’s name to me again, or I swear to God I will not hesitate to end your pathetic fucking life.”

  “That’s what she told you?” He scoffs. “I don’t believe a word of it.” He shakes his head from side to side.

  “Ryder,” Marco calls to me. I turn, snapping my head in his direction. “Leave it be, man.” He steps closer, trying to pull on my shoulder with his hand. I swiftly snap my shoulder from his grasp.

  “Get the fuck off me,” I warn. “I don’t need you interfering; this is between me and my brother.”

  “I know, but you can’t expect me to stand here and watch you two tear each other apart.”

  “I’m not leaving until I’ve knocked some sense into this piece of shit.” I tighten my hold on Jax’s shirt, pulling his face closer to mine. “I don’t want to have anything more to do with you, you hear me? So just leave us alone. Leave Kailee alone. You come anywhere near her, and you’re as good as dead.”

  “You’re all talk, Ryder. I know you better than you realize. If you were going to do something, it would have been done by now.”

  “You are flesh and blood. That gets you one warning. But just one.” I release my grip, standing back from him and running one hand down my face. I step away from Jax, glaring at him before I turn my attention to Marco.

  “What the fuck are you doing here?” I pull out a cigarette, lighting it as I wait for him to answer. My chest heaves, and the heat of my blood still pumps through me furiously.

  “I just knew something would kick off between you two. Looks like I just happened to get here at the right time.” He lifts his eyebrows, holding his hand out to me. I reach into the packet and hand him a smoke. I light it for him, before watching my brother stagger over to Eric’s trailer and make his way inside.

  “Listen, Ryder.” He closes the space between us, his voice nothing more than a whisper. “I need you to keep my help between us. I’m friends with both you guys, and I don’t want him knowing it was me who led you to him. Looking back, you put me in an impossible position.”

  “And I’m really fucking grateful.”

  He nods. “All I ask is that you keep it to yourself. I can’t get caught up in this feud.”

  “Of course, man. I owe you big time.” I hold out my hand, and as he takes it, I pull him in for a hug. “Talking of big time” —I pull away, taking another drag of my smoke— “you got my money, right.”

  He nods; a huge smile spreads across his face. “Every last cent,” he replies, rubbing his hands together.

  “I fucking need it. Now more than ever.” I sigh. Marco tilts his head, his eyes questioning me.

  “Don’t look at me like that. It’s time to quit with this whole life of crime. I need to be the person who Kailee needs in her life. I stayed away because this” —I gesture to the trailers around us— “is not what that girl deserves. She’s worth so much more than this and being dragged into a life of crime.”

  “Ryder, the reformed character,” he taunts, laughing with disbelief.

  “What?” I throw my arms in the air.

  “I just can’t imagine you in a nine to five job, man.”

  “Let’s not get carried away.” I laugh, flicking my smoke to the ground and stepping on it with the toe of my shoe.

  “I gotta go, man. I have the cash in the car.” He gestures with a wave as he makes his way over. I follow behind, finally getting my hands on the cash that I fucking fought for. That we need.

  He reaches into the backseat of his car, and one of his minions passes him a leather looking briefcase. He turns to me, holding it tightly in both of his hands. “Eighty K.” He holds out the case in front of him.

  “Fuck.” I take a sharp breath. “I hadn’t realized it would be that much. Thanks, man.” I lean into him, patting him heavily on the back. “We should celebrate,” I say with a grin and a lift of my brows.

  “Call me, man. We’ll do something,” Marco shouts as he makes his way back over to his car. I give him a single wave before locking the case in the car and heading over to Eric’s trailer. I don’t knock even though I know Jax is inside; I just step in, my eyes roaming the trailer for anything that might belong to Kailee. My eyes land on Jax, a rolled-up note inside his nostril, and white lines of powder set out in front of him. His eyes flicker up to me, but he doesn’t stop. Slowly, he runs the paper along the first line of powder inhaling it through his nose. He closes his eyes, dropping his head back as he lets the hit work through his body. Anger builds deep inside as I look at the guy who barely resembles my brother. Gritting my teeth, I shake my head, making my way further inside.

  “Don’t fucking mind me,” I grate out.

  “Get the fuck out,” he yells.

  “When I have everything I need, don’t worry, man, I’ll be well on my way outta here.” I stalk into Kailee’s room, pulling the trunk from underneath the bed and filling it with her belongings. I notice the brown box of books and grab it before making my way out. As I pass Jax, his eyes practically rolling in his head, I let out an audible tut. The hurt and disappointment are almost too much to take. I storm out, taking everything that I came for. How could we have been so close for years and ended this way? I reach the car, throwing in everything that I’d collected. I didn’t stop to ask Jax, the junkie, whether he still has Kailee’s phone. I didn’t see the damn point. But one thing I have realized is that whatever we had between us is now gone. Brother or not.

  I spend a few hours in the one place I hate more than anywhere. Downtown Sacramento. The place where people walk around in their fancy fucking suits and have no sense of what it’s like to live in the real world. But it’s the place I need to be to get the things I need for Kailee.

  Making my way back to the car, I jump in. Pulling out my phone, I dial Cady’s number. I want to give her enough time to be ready for me. Or should I say it’s been a few hours, and I’m desperate to kno
w she’s okay. Especially with my brother on the loose, and God knows who else I pissed off when I broke in to save Kailee.

  Holding the phone to my ear, I wait for an answer. It rings and rings, and my frustration grows by the second.

  “Pick up,” I murmur a groan down the receiver.

  “Hey,” a cheerful but rather breathless voice greets me.

  “Oh. It’s Ryder, is Kailee there?”

  “Sure, one sec,” she answers, a sudden rustle sound plays through the receiver as I wait for it to be passed to Kailee.

  “Ryder?”

  “Hey, pip. You okay?” I ask with concern.

  “Of course.” She giggles. I can’t help but smile widely at the sweet sound of her cheerful voice.

  “So I’m just on my way now. Be about thirty minutes. You going to be ready?” I ask, not wanting to rush the time she’s spending with her friends.

  “Sure am.”

  “Oh, pip,” I all but shout. “Wait inside for me. I’ll come and get you,” I say, quickly ending the call.

  I drive the thirty minutes until I’m back in suburbia and turning onto Cady’s street. I pull up outside, cut the engine, and dash up to the front door, rapping my knuckles against the white wooden door.

  “Hey.” She pulls the door open slowly, holding it a little coyly. Her hair drapes over her face, and my eyes adjust as I take her in. Her hair looks different somehow. Sleek curls fall over her face, and she’s wearing different clothes from the ones she had on before.

  “Pip, what the fuck’s wrong?”

  “Nothing.” She lifts her head, and the redness in her cheeks noticeable, as if she’s embarrassed. I swallow down hard, my brain telling my cock to back the fuck up.

  “I’ve never seen anything like it,” I say with a tone of disbelief.

  “She looks amazing, doesn’t she?” Cady appears by her side; her arm drapes across her shoulder. It’s not a secret that I think Kailee is freaking hot, but now, well, I don’t even have the words to describe how fucking good she looks. The clothes fit her, skimming every inch of her toned body. Her makeup highlights her model-like cheekbones and the sparkling blue of her eye. Holy shit. I think the look of her, as she stands all coy in front of me, has stolen the breath from my lungs.

  “Pip. I don’t even know where to begin,” I stutter out, taking a step forward. “You look so beautiful.”

  “Thank you.” She darts her eyes up to me then drops them back down again.

  I hold my hand out to her. “Ready?” I ask.

  She nods, turning and hugging Cady goodbye. I drop her hand, smiling and stepping outside. Lighting up a smoke, I walk down the path, resting against the car as I wait for them to say their goodbyes.

  Kailee comes bounding down the path, box in her hand. Her friend is right behind her, carrying a sack nearly the size of Kailee.

  “The fuck,” I mumble. “Cady’s not moving in too, is she?” I ask, taking a drag of my cigarette and slowing blowing out the smoke.

  “No, silly.” Kailee laughs, playfully slapping the top of my arm. “Cady was cleaning out her closet. Which means I get a new wardrobe full of clothes.” She beams, her face and eyes lighting with excitement. “And this…” She pushes a box toward me. “Look at the present she gave me.” I smile; her radiance and enthusiasm are infectious. I lift the lid, and inside is a book. I look at the box and back up at Kailee whose smile is as big as a smile can possibly be. “Isn’t it amazing? It’s signed and everything!”

  I let out a chuckle, leaning in and kissing her cheek lightly. “You’re such a cute fucking nerd, pip.”

  “I know,” she takes the lid from my hand, replacing it and holding the box tightly against her chest. “Did you get the rest?” she questions. “The one’s from the trailer park?”

  “I got it all, pip. Don’t worry about a thing.” I reach to Cady standing behind her, taking the bag and dumping it in the backseat of the car.

  “Was Jax there?” she asks, her eyes full of concern as they roam my face for an answer.

  “Hmmm, but I don’t think he’ll be giving us any trouble. He seems hell-bent on taking the path to self-destruction.”

  She lifts her head slowly, her body language changing as she stoops forward, almost as if she’s scared.

  “Pip.” I hook my finger under her chin, lifting her head until her eyes meet mine. “I won’t let anything happen to you. I promise.”

  Cady clears her throat. “I’m going to go inside. Call me,” she says with a wave over her shoulder as she makes her way inside.

  “Let’s go home, baby.”

  Kailee

  I can’t help but fear the unknown. Jax is still out there, and I’m not even sure whether I’m safe anymore. I know Ryder has vowed to protect me, but how can I possibly lead a normal life while looking over my shoulder, scared he could come for me again.

  I lift Ryder’s arm, sliding out of bed, and make my way down the stairs. Sleep isn’t my friend; the thoughts racing through my mind refuse to shut off.

  “You too?” Stella asks, my heart thudding rapidly in my chest as she takes me by surprise. “I can’t sleep either,” she whispers, letting out a cough while holding her fist against her mouth.

  “Can I get you anything?” I rush over to her.

  “Just my inhaler, dear,” she chokes out between her coughs. She points at the coffee table. I grab it then pass it to her. She holds it in her mouth, pressing the button and inhaling deeply. Within a few seconds, her breathing steadies, and she rests back in the chair. “Thank you.”

  “It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”

  She nods slowly. “Don’t say anything to Ryder. I don’t want him to worry.”

  “He already does,” I reply, pulling my legs underneath me as I get comfy beside her.

  “It’s so good having him here. And you… well, that was a surprise, let me tell you.” Her eyes widen. “I’ve never met any of his girlfriends. Hell, I’m not sure if he’s ever had one.” She coughs just once. “You must really mean something to him. I’ve been telling him for years he should find a lovely girl to settle down with, someone who can set him on the straight and narrow. After his father had died, Jax hated the world, and well, Ryder, he got swept along trying to be there and protect his brother. Ryder has always been protective, thinking with his fists first.”

  I nod and continue to listen to Stella tell me all about the twins when they were younger and how difficult it had been with their father growing up. The minutes turn into hours, and before I know it, we’ve pretty much been taking the whole night. I told her about my mom, and her death and how much I missed not only her but also the stability she brought.

  After making some breakfast for us, I help Stella back upstairs and into her bedroom. Just walking proves difficult, and I worry about her. I’m not sure how much longer she will be able to care for herself, and I can see why Ryder has been concerned about her. As I make my way out, Ryder emerges from the bedroom, rubbing his eyes.

  “Hey” —he yawns— “everything okay?”

  “I was just helping your mom back to bed. We talked pretty much all night. Neither of us could sleep.”

  He walks over, wrapping his warm arms around me, and lifts me off the floor. “You never cease to fucking amaze me.” He leans in, pressing his lips against mine. “Go get your pretty ass ready.” He sets me down. “We have plans today.”

  “We do?” I ask, tilting my head to the side.

  “Go,” he orders, slapping my ass hard.

  “Ouch,” I whisper-shout before racing over to the bathroom. My heart pounds, and I know it’s my body’s reaction to Ryder. He stirs something inside me that excites me to the core. I race to get ready, desperate to know what he has planned for today. I walk through the main room and into the kitchen. Ryder is dressed, resting his back against the countertop with a coffee in his hand. As our eyes meet, I feel a true sense of belonging. My stomach flutters, and my heart races fast with the realization of the true depth
of my feelings for this man. My savior, my protector, my Ryder.

  “Ready?” he asks, his green, marble-like eyes boring into me.

  “More than ready,” I reply, pushing my Chucks on and grabbing my coat from the small coat rack next to the door.

  We make our way out of the door and into the car. The journey is quick, and the whole time I lean into Ryder, enjoying the comfort of being close.

  “Come on, you have to give me a clue,” I press him again for what must be the tenth time.

  “Stop,” he says with a laugh. “I’m not going to tell you. It’s a surprise.” I let out a small growl of frustration, and he reaches over to squeeze my leg playfully.

  “We’ll be there in about ten minutes.” He laughs. I sit upright, craning my neck to check our surroundings.

  I look at the signs and gasp when I realize where we are. “We’re in Sacramento?”

  “Maybe.” He grins.

  We pull up outside the store, and my heart flutters as I’m filled with excitement.

  “Oh, my god,” I shriek, releasing my seat belt. “You brought me to a bookstore?”

  “Not just any bookstore,” he replies smugly. “This bookstore specializes in signed copies of those porn-style romance books you read.”

  “They are not porn.” I gasp. “Romance, yes. Porn, certainly not.”

  “Well, half of the books you read have semi-naked men on the front.”

  “And your point?”