The edge of life: Official cover - coming soon

by Rachael Tonks

  “Mom has an appointment with her doctor today. I think she’s really struggling.” He sighs. “I know she’s downplaying it, but she pretty much sleeps downstairs all the time now. I think she finds climbing the stairs too much.” The way his breathing becomes jagged lets me know he’s worried about her.

  I turn over onto my back, my eyes looking up at his. “I noticed it too. I think it’s best she gets checked out.” I shoot him a sad smile. “She’s so very lucky to have you.”

  “Having you here helps.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She’s not smoking nearly as much as she was before you moved in. She’s stubborn. The more I told her not to, the more she would. She just won’t accept that this has something to do with her condition.”

  “Well, I’m glad me being here helps. Your mom is a real good lady.”

  “She’s the best. She’s been so strong for so long that it’s hard to watch her struggle now. Kinda cruel, in a way.”

  I stroke my thumb back and forth over his hand. He leans his head down, nuzzling my neck before thrusting his hardness into me again. “Go. Get ready for school before I lose all self-control,” he grunts, trying to change the subject and slapping my ass hard. I let out a yelp as I jump from the bed. Pulling the sheets with me, I remove them completely from Ryder. He smirks sexily, lying on his back and exposing his morning wood. I gulp down, turning and fanning my face. As I look back over at him, I try not to stare, but it’s practically impossible. I let my tongue dart out, wetting my lips before biting the side of my lip.

  “Pip.” He smirks. “Come back to bed. I can tell by the look on your face you want to. And honestly, I’d give anything to have those fucking lips around my cock.”

  “No.” I laugh, dropping the sheets before reaching for the bathrobe on the back of the door and wrapping it around me. “I need to get ready for school. And you’re taking me, don’t forget.” I bend down, picking up the sheets and throwing them at him. He groans, and I race out of the door to the bathroom.

  I rush to get ready, hoping to get to school in time to meet Cady before our first class.

  Grabbing a quick bite to eat, we rush out of the door, conscious of the time. Lighting the screen on my phone, I check the time.

  “I’ll get you there. Don’t stress,” he says with a smile.

  “I know. I just want to make this week the start of getting back to normal. I can’t afford to mess this up. I need to be on top of my grades,” I explain. I have pushed back the memories, the hurt and disappointment I feel over the whole Jax situation, but more than anything, the betrayal I feel from my own father. So much has happened, so much I haven’t yet fully digested. My eyes flicker to Ryder, and one thing I know, with absolute certainty, is that, if it wasn’t for this selfless man, I would likely be dead, or even worse, prostituted out and left to rot. I shudder as the erratic thoughts swim in my head. I close my eyes tightly, pushing the bad thoughts to the back of my mind as the memories of the time I’ve spent with Ryder blur them out. I rub my index finger over my soft lips; memories of his lips against mine causes a smile to tug at the corner of my mouth.

  “Fuck, that’s such a damn turn-on,” he mumbles, a low groan escapes him.

  My eyes fly open, and I turn to meet his. They’re glazed with desire; his hand runs through his hair, and I take a deep breath to steady my wildly beating heart. My phone buzzes against my hand, and I snap my eyes away from him, checking the screen. Cady has sent a text.

  Where are you? You’re still coming, right?

  I speed type a response.

  On my way. Be there in a few mins.

  I lock the screen, holding the phone against my chest. “You know, you really didn’t have to spend so much money on me.”

  “I wanted to,” he replies. “After all, the big win made it possible.” I sit for a second staring out the window, wondering what he means. Then it dawns on me.

  “Jesus, the fight,” I exclaim. “You won the fight the night Jax took me.”

  “I did,” he says, his smile wide and beaming with a sense of pride. “I got Marco to bet everything I had on me winning. I had no fucking choice.”

  “Everything?”

  “Yeah. I have Mom’s last medical bills to pay. Her insurance doesn’t cover her.” His voice quietens to a mumble.

  “Have you ever thought of fighting competitively. You know, like you see on those MMA programs.”

  “I wouldn’t know where to start.” He blows out a huge breath. “The dream would be to run my own gym, to have a place where young’uns can come, let off some steam. Keep them off the streets and get them to channel their energies into something that keeps them outta trouble. Yeah” —he nods his head— “like a youth program or some shit.”

  Listening to him talk passionately about his ideas, about his dream, fills me with hope. Hope that a future with Ryder isn’t just going to be all guns and bloodshed.

  “That sounds amazing. You can totally do it.”

  “Not without capital.”

  “But your winnings…”

  “It’s not enough,” he blurts out. “Mom’s medical bills. It’s thousands, pip. Not to mention the costs to keep the house running.”

  We pull onto the school grounds, and Ryder skids the car to a stop. I let out a screech, and Cady and Lina jump back from the sidewalk.

  “Jeez.” I laugh. “Subtle, Ryder. Real subtle.”

  “I’m not exactly the subtle kind of guy,” he says with a wink. I reach for the handle, only to have my whole body pulled back, landing roughly against Ryder’s.

  “Where the fuck are you going without saying goodbye?” His eyes narrow on me playfully. I reach up and grab a handful of his hair to pull his lips to mine. I kiss him deeply, his arms wrapping around me tightly.

  “I’ll be waiting.” He grins. “You need me, you call.”

  I roll my eyes but secretly love his protective nature. “You’ll make a great father someday,” I say, kissing him one last time on the lips.

  “Get the fuck outta here.” He laughs, slapping my ass as I turn to make my way out the car. I lean in, blowing him a kiss before closing the door, clutching my hand against my beating heart, willing it to steady.

  “Hey,” Cady and Lina say, almost in unison. The sound of the engine roars as Ryder pulls away, his wheels skidding as he does.

  “Shit, I’ve been so worried about you. That’s some fucked-up shit you’ve been through, girl. I can’t believe you’re holding it together so well.” Lina throws her arms around me.

  “I never meant to worry you.” I sigh, parting from her. “It was the worst twenty-four hours of my life, but all I can say is thank God for Ryder.”

  “He’s like the modern-day knight in shining armor,” she says with a laugh, clutching her hands to her chest while fluttering her eyes.

  “I’m so sorry I haven’t been in touch. I know Cady has kept you in the loop, but I have a new phone now.” I take it out of my pocket, waving it in front of Lina.

  “Whoa,” she says dramatically.

  “Yes, so… I need to add your number.” Before I can say anymore, she snatches it from my hand. Tapping away, she quickly pushes it back against my chest, holding it there.

  “Done.” She smiles. “No more excuses for not contacting Lina.” I take it from her, pushing it back into my pocket. I nod, hooking my arm through hers as we make our way into school.

  It’s good to get back to school and try to be a normal eighteen-year-old. I’ve missed it. I’ve missed the normality and being with these girls. Ryder has text me constantly, and I’ve been like an addict, secretly looking at my phone when the teachers aren’t looking.

  I wait in the parking lot with Cady and Lina, the pair refusing to leave until Ryder arrives. Lina already admitted to me that she has a little man crush on him. I laughed it off because really, who wouldn’t. He’s like some bodybuilder model type; you know the ones who cover all the men’s magazines, the ones covered in tatto
os. Yeah, it’s pretty cool that a girl like me, a redhead who was teased most of her childhood, could actually fall in love with her very own cover model. The minute the black Chevrolet rounds the corner, I watch him drive toward us, and the whole moment feels like it’s happening in slow motion. My heart stills in my chest, the lump refusing to move in my throat. I hear familiar voices, but my eyes are glued to him. To Ryder.

  He pushes the door open and strides over to me. “Are you okay?” he asks, his eyebrows furrowed, his eyes burning into me.

  “I am now,” I whisper as his strong arms pull me into his powerful hold.

  “Yeah, bye, Kailee,” Lina retorts, and the pair giggles and snorts. I turn and glare at them playfully. The two of them lock arms before kissing me lightly on the cheek and making their way down the sidewalk.

  “See the way he looks at her? Ahh, I’d give anything for a guy to look at me that way,” I hear Lina’s not so quiet voice say as she walks away. I let my eyes drop down, shaking my head lightly.

  “I think you have an admirer.” I laugh.

  “Oh really, pip? A little competition,” he says teasingly, his lips curling up at the corner as he fights back a smirk.

  I shake my head, making my way around to the passenger side and sliding into the car.

  “It doesn’t bother you that your friend is crushing on me?” His face lights up, his smile wide, and I can see he’s getting a kick out of this.

  “No. Why? Should it?”

  “Because if my friend was crushing on you, I’d have to give him a friendly fucking reminder that you’re mine,” he growls.

  “She knows you’re mine,” I say. Leaning into him, I pull up my sleeve and point at the small heart on the inside of my wrist. His eyes flutter shut with a small nod of his head. I reach up, resting my hand on his cheek before pressing my lips against his. “I missed you today,” I murmur. “How was the appointment with your mom?”

  He pulls his eyes shut, and a look of pain dances across his face. It worries me, and instantly, my heart thuds in my chest as the panic rises within.

  “What is it?” I all but whisper.

  “They did tests. They’re worried.”

  “Worried?” I press further.

  “Cancer.” He forces out the word, his face contorting, and I see how difficult this is for him.

  “I’m sorry.” I kiss him again.

  “It is what it is. Fucking cancer.” He shakes his head, dragging his hands down his face; the dew of impending tears lingers in his eyes.

  It’s hard to know what to say. I’ve been there, I heard what they said to me, but it didn’t help. Nothing does. The painful memories of losing my own mom push their way through.

  “I know it won’t help, but I’ve been in your position, Ryder. I’ve felt that sick feeling in the pit of your stomach when you worry about the one woman who means more to you than anyone else in the world. I’ve been there. And if it is cancer, it won’t be easy. But I will be there with you and your mom every step of the way.”

  He leans in, our foreheads resting against one another’s. “Thank you,” he mutters. “She’s resting now.”

  “Glad to hear it,” I say, sliding back into my seat and pulling on my seat belt.

  “I said we’d give her some space.” He turns the key in the engine. “Marco called.”

  “Marco makes me nervous,” I admit.

  Ryder laughs loudly. “He’s a good guy. He was the reason I was able to find you. I’ve known him since school. I owe him more than I can ever repay.”

  I smile, accepting that Marco had a part to play in my freedom. “Looks like I owe him a thank you.”

  Ryder

  We arrive at Marco’s mansion. Seriously, it’s way over the top for just one guy and his bought in assistant.

  We pull into the driveway, stopping at the over-the-top electric gates. I lower my window, leaning and pressing the buzzer for access, the whole damn thing a fucking inconvenience. But since Marco confiscated our electric passes, I have no other fucking choice. I hear the sudden crackle of the intercom system before Marco’s voice booms out of the speaker.

  “Ryder, man. Come on in.”

  The automatic gates start to open slowly, so I drive through, parking right outside the main entrance.

  “It will make a change from the back entrance,” I say, cocking a brow.

  “At least, I won’t have to stitch you up this time,” she says with a coy smile, her finger resting against her lips.

  “All wounds healing nicely.” I step from the car; Kailee follows me, and I lift my hand, ready to knock on the huge mahogany front door. But before I can, the door swings open, and Marco stands in front of me with his arms open wide. I laugh at the crazy motherfucker but walk into his embrace nonetheless.

  “If it isn’t Romeo and fucking Juliet,” Marco bellows. I push him back, my hands gripping his shoulders.

  “Man, you do know they both died, right?” I reply with a huff of laughter.

  Kailee laughs loudly, her hand covering her mouth.

  “I meant loved up, dick splash.”

  “Sure, you did.” I slap him heavily on the back. “What’s that smell?” I ask, grabbing Kailee’s hand and pulling her down the huge entrance hall into the dining room.

  “Nice to see you too,” Marco retorts, following us through.

  I stop suddenly as we reach the huge dining room. Francis is laying food all out on the table.

  “Oh, hey guys,” she says cheerfully. She smiles widely at us, giving Kailee a small wave.

  “Hey,” Kailee replies, and I nod my head slightly. “Can I help you at all?” Kailee asks, making her way over to her.

  “Sure. I have plenty more to serve if you want to give me a hand,” she says pointing over at the kitchen.

  “Cigar, man?” Marco offers, walking over to the seating area in front of the fireplace. My eyes flit back and forth between the girls who walk out of the room and back over to Marco.

  “Nah, I’m good,” I decline.

  “Ryder, man,” he says dramatically. “We’re celebrating, aren’t we?”

  “Fuck it,” I say, holding my hand out. He slaps the cigar into my opened hand, and I take it, lighting up. I take a drag, coughing like some fucking pussy.

  “Fucking hell, man. These are strong.” I cough loudly, falling into one of the high-back chairs.

  “Good shit these, Ryder. So tell me, what are you doing with the money you won.”

  “Paying Mom’s medical bills. Those fuckers just keep coming.”

  “You know she’s not your responsibility…”

  “Don’t you fucking dare.” I glare at him in warning. “Mom deserves to be looked after. Actually,” I say, leaning forward and closing the space so I can lower my voice. “I was thinking of setting up another fight. Just one more. I have these ideas, man, and I finally feel like I can do something other than being a criminal. I owe it to pip, and I owe it to us.”

  “What idea?”

  “My own gym, man. My own community program for the young’uns. I want to give them something I never had; I want to make a difference in their lives. Something I wish I’d had…” I trail off my words, inhaling another, less brutal drag of the killer cigar.

  I look over at the girls who are chatting and laughing, the sound and sight of her better than any hit on a fucking cigar. I stand up, throwing the cigar into the open fire.

  “The fuck,” Marco screeches at me. “Do you have any idea how much those cigars cost?”

  “It’s only money, Marco, and you have plenty.”

  He mumbles something, but I’m so fixed on her, I don’t care. I walk over to her, resting my hand on her waist.

  “You smell funny,” she says screwing up her face.

  “He forced me,” I say, holding up my hands. She shakes her head, pursing her lips. “I’m not sure I can kiss you when you smell that bad,” she teases, turning and walking out of the room, her hips shimmying as she does.

 
“She’s gonna be the fucking death of me,” I groan. Marco’s hand rests on my shoulder.

  “I have to admit; I have a little crush on the redhead myself.” Heat rises within me as the words leave his mouth. “You two are like the ultimate bi guy’s dream.”

  “Fuck off, man,” I say, pushing him lightly on the chest. I try to keep my tone light and joking, but the warning is serious. I’ve put up with his comments about me for years now but hearing him mention Kailee’s name is just a step too far.

  “Keep pip outta this.” I wrap my arm around his neck, pulling him in close as I tighten my hold. I rub my knuckles over his scalp, and he squeals like a fucking pig in pain.

  “All right, Ryder,” he says breathlessly. “Just let me go…”

  I release my hold, and Marco staggers back, standing upright and adjusting his bright blond hair. “My fucking hair, man. Do you have any idea how much I pay for it to look like this?” He points at it; his hip kicked out to the side.

  “Did you hire a barber or a bank robber because you’ve been fleeced.” I laugh loudly, pulling out a chair and sitting at the table. It is covered in far too much food for just four. There’s everything from Mexican to Italian, and my stomach grumbles just looking at it.

  The girls set out the rest of the food, and Kailee sits in the chair beside me.

  “I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much food,” Kailee whispers into my ear.

  I wrap my arm around her, resting it on the back of the chair. “This is Marco all over,” I mumble into her ear; the hot rush of air causes her to shiver. I look down at her bare arms and notice the goose bumps covering her skin. I can’t fight back the smile that spreads, knowing I have such an effect on her.

  “Marco,” Kailee addresses him.

  He looks over at us, his eyes wide and waiting.

  “I just wanted to thank you for your part in helping Ryder find me.” She exhales a shaky breath, and I reach out, clutching her hand.

  “You know, I’m glad you got out of there, Kailee,” Francis blurts out. “I was lucky.” She turns and smiles lovingly at Marco then back at Kailee.