When Fall Breaks

by Julie Solano

  “Well he is,” I accidentally chime in a little too enthusiastically.

  Everybody knows that Mason Brooks is gorgeous. It shows his picture right next to the word HOT in the dictionary. I’ve known Mason since we were kids. When his mom took off and left him alone with his unreliable father, he moved in with his and Brody’s grandparents out in the valley. Over the years, I’ve watched him grow from a raggedy, sandy haired twig, into a tall, lean, sexy centerfold cowboy. On top of his stunning appearance, he’s witty and sharp as a tac. The girls love him because he’s got confidence, but he’s not cocky. He’s nice to everyone. It’s funny, he could have any girl in the county, but he doesn’t ever seem to have a steady girlfriend. I guess he’s holding out for someone special.

  “Hey, hey . . .” Caden interrupts, “You guys talk about him like he’s a God or something. I mean, I didn’t exactly fall out of the ugly tree, and I don’t have two-thousand girls a week asking to hook up with me.”

  Jenna snorts and starts to laugh.

  “What’s so funny about that? I was awarded ‘Sexiest Man in the Junior Class’ last year. Check the yearbook!”

  Brody, mid sip, blows water all over the truck, and laughs, “Dude, that’s cuz no one knew about the vote that day and you were the only person to participate in the election.”

  “Whatever . . . You saw all the girls lined up to vote for me. Jealous much?”

  Just then I see the bridge come into view. I feel the nerves seize in my stomach as we begin to slow to a stop. I jump out of the truck and stretch my tensed, shaking legs. The gang follows closely behind me as I walk toward the bridge and peek over the edge. My pulse begins to pick up and my voice has been chased from my body by the storm of anxiety building inside me. I swallow the lump in my throat, and everyone turns toward me.

  “Holy, hell, that was a loud gulp. Are you going to be able to handle this T?” Caden looks a little worried.

  “I told you, I’ll go first and check it out. That way we can be sure it’s clear.” I can feel his warm breath against my ear and goosebumps rise on my arm as Brody comes up behind me and whispers, “Besides, I’d hate to see anything happen to that rockin’ little body.” He raises his eyebrows and I see a dimple pop with his gleaming white smile. He plants a tiny peck at the bridge of my nose as he begins to climb over the rail where the words Jump Here are painted on the edge of the bridge. “Wish me luck Pip.” At that I watch his moonlit silhouette drop from the bridge and free fall down, down, down til all that’s left is a big white surge of water circling the center whirlpool of bubbles blasting up from the depths below.

  I hold my breath as I wait for Brody to surface. Dizziness begins to settle upon me and I tip a little to the side. I feel my brother’s strong hand grasp my elbow and he leans me into him for support. “It’s fine T,” he reassures me. “Brody has done this a hundred times. Look, you can see him coming up now.”

  When I see his muscular frame begin to emerge from the water, I release the breath I’ve been holding and gasp for air.

  “You’re literally blue from holding your breath, T. You’re the best swimmer I know; are you really that scared?”

  “What if I jump too far? What if I breathe at the wrong time? What if I go too deep? I don’t take risks like this Caden . . . I’m not scared of the swim; I’m scared of the fall.”

  Silence surrounds us as Caden contemplates the depth of the words I’ve just unleashed on him. I turn around and walk off, leaving him alone at the edge of the bridge. I grab my bag from the back seat of the truck and head off behind a giant cedar to change into my swimsuit. Fumbling through my bag in the darkness, my back brushes up against the bark of the towering tree. Owww . . . that hurt. I slip off a flip flop, working to maintain balance on one foot. Again, I fall backward into the tree and my bare foot slams down onto the pokey pine needles that blanket the ground. The scratches and stabbing are painful, but the physical pain is stifled by the mental terror plaguing my mind. I somehow manage to get myself changed and rejoin my brother at the edge of the bridge.

  Looking out across the forested landscape, I see jagged cascading boulders, narrowing into a small body of water. The drought has left the river narrow, but the swimming hole below the bridge still has a pretty good girth thanks to a couple of recent rains. Silhouettes of giant pine trees drape the army of mountains. Stars dance in the darkness overhead. Tonight’s sky is so clear, I can see the wispy, white milky way meandering among the stars. From where I stand, the moon is barely visible, but its glow blankets the valley, giving off just enough light to see the surrounding beauty. This incredible view has temporarily calmed my nerves.

  I jump when Brody comes up behind me unexpectedly and grabs my sides. I’m pulled from my reverie instantly. “Dang, you’re cold!” I bellow and wince at the feel of his icy hands on my bare belly. His hands stay a little longer than they should and I begin to feel the surge of electricity from earlier resurface. I’m surprised at myself for wanting his hands to stay right where they are. I like his touch, and I’m finding comfort in it as I look down into the dark river.

  Still holding my sides, he moves in a little closer. Though he sets his icy chin down on my shoulder, everything inside me begins to heat up. “Do you think you can do this Pip?”

  I can’t even think of his question. All I can focus on is his cold, wet skin pressed up against my back. I feel the water from his body, escape him and run down onto me. I’m frozen in place, at the feeling of this strong, handsome boy draped around me, trying to comfort me in the middle of my nervous breakdown.

  “Kaitlyn? Are you still with me? Why aren’t you saying anything?”

  I’m standing there, staring down into the green water. Am I dumbfounded because of this jump, or because my best friend has just created an electrical storm in my body that is beyond my comprehension and my control? I’m a smart girl. I mean I plan on majoring in science. I should know better than anyone that water and electricity don’t mix well. I already feel the sparks popping between us just from his proximity. As I stand facing impending electrocution, my breath begins to quicken. I struggle to find words to answer him. “Ummm. . .” I utter. But nothing else comes out.

  Brody’s chin continues to rest on my shoulder as he moves in even closer behind me. “Kaitlyn?” he whispers.

  “Ya?” I whisper in return.

  “Breathe . . .”

  Again, I feel his warm breath, spread across my shoulders, and I can smell his mint gum wafting around me. My senses begin to heighten from his touch and his smell, and I look back at him over my shoulder. Shakily I mutter, “Bro, I’m not sure I can do this.”

  He slides his hand off my side and finds my hand. Gently, I feel his fingers curl in around mine and he whispers again, “Pip, I’ve got you. You know I won’t let you do this alone. I’m going with you. Here, I want you to step over the rail with me.”

  I’m shaking so badly I can barely move when Brody helps me over the guardrail. I let go of his hand and extend my arms backward, putting a death grip on the metal support behind me. Brody, however, doesn’t let go of me. He somehow sneaks into the small space behind me, holding onto me again. I hear him say, “On three Pip . . . one, two . . .”

  “No, no no! Not yet.” I freak out.

  “Kaitlyn,” he giggles “Have I ever let anything happen to you?”

  “Well, there was that one time when you convinced me to let you push me on the old rickety swing set and it tipped over on me.”

  “Oh ya, that . . . But . . . but I pulled it right off . . . and you said yourself that that was the first time you truly felt like you could fly,” he lifted his eyebrows apologetically.

  “Brody, the only reason I felt like I could fly was because I was so dizzy from knocking my head on the ground that I passed out.” I let out a small, yet audible huff.

  “Pip, I know I messed that one up, but we’re not six anymore. I can promise you, that you are the last person I’d ever let anything happen to. I wi
ll protect you with my life. We’ve got this. Besides, you’ve never backed out of a bet. Now let’s jump,” he implores.

  Brody moves off to my side and grabs my hand once again. Feeling his strong grip, and letting his reassuring words sink in, I get a sudden burst of courage. I blow out a deep breath and stammer, “Okay, on three.”

  A big grin grows wide on his face, “One, two, three,” he counts. It’s no longer a choice. Brody has taken me by the hand and projected us out into the open air. I’m falling, falling; time stands still. I feel the wind swooshing up through my toes, nose, and hair. The wind works in harmony with Brody’s protective grasp to wage a full assault on my senses. He snaps his face toward mine and quickly says, “Last breath before we hit. Breathe.”

  I take in as much air as I can and feel my feet break through the frigid water. I plummet into the dark, green abyss, still gripping Brody’s strong hand. Like bullets, we dart downward, enormous bubbles dancing between us, until we begin to slow. Kicking our feet with as much force as we can muster, our momentum begins to shift upward. We ascend toward the surface, and I can feel the pressure of the water lift from my shoulders. After several seconds we hit the surface and pull cool mountain air back into our parched lungs.

  I wipe the water from my eyes, and the first thing I see is the soft moonlight cascading over Brody’s silhouette. He shakes the water from his hair and screams a cry of victory. “Yes!” he shouts pumping his fist high into the air. I answer him with a hysteric laugh of my own. I reach up to give him a high five and he grabs my hand, pulling me into a strong hug. He raises me up above the surface looking toward me with admiration. “You did it Pip!” he beams up at me. I look down at him with a smile and he gently slides me back down his body. My stomach flips a little as my skin slowly glides against the ripples of his wet, muscular abs.

  Brody hasn’t let go of me since we left the bridge. He suddenly gets quiet and a serious look begins to replace his wide smile. Our eyes are fixed on each other as he holds me in a close hug. I can feel his pride, but I can also feel something in myself too, a sensation I’ve never felt before with Brody. I can’t explain it, but it’s driving my body to respond to him in a way a friend would not respond. I’m tingly, nervous, and confused, as I wrap my legs around his waist. He leans in and I feel his hot, minty breath moving up my neck. He moves his face up toward mine, and everything around us goes silent. Our eyes meet again, and he slowly lowers his gaze to my mouth. I bite my lower lip as I take in a deep breath in anticipation of . . .

  SPLASH. Cold water drowns our faces and the intensity of the moment comes to an end. The shock of the cold water rushes over my belly, when Brody flies back, and releases me from his embrace. I whip my head in the direction of the splash, and there stands Caden in between us looking as though he’s just seen a horror movie. “What the hell was that guys?” We are both silently stunned, not knowing how to answer. I think I almost kissed Brody Tatum. We simply look at each other, eyes wide, eyebrows raised, jaws slack. I watch Brody pull a handful of water over his face, turn away from us, and swim back to the river bank.

  IT’S A QUIET RIDE TO the ranch. Caden’s eyes are locked on the road, while Brody stares out the passenger window. Tension fills the cab of the truck. Being the light hearted girl that she is, Jenna keeps popping off unanswered jokes trying to lighten the mood. Unlike Caden, who had a front row seat to Brody’s and my close encounter, Jenna obviously missed the intimate scene in the swimming hole. I’m a little tongue-tied right now, not knowing what to say to either of my boys. I wonder how much Caden saw. I try to replay the moment of the missed kiss in my head to see if I can get any clues as to when my brother showed up.

  Reliving the moment raises some unexpected reactions in my body. My heart skips a little and I feel my pulse quicken. I really don’t understand what’s been going on between Brody and me today. I’ve never been drawn to him in this way, and all of a sudden I have the need to be as close to him as possible. Surprisingly, I like the way he’s joking with me, carting me around, and looking after me tonight. Thinking about him is making me light and fluttery inside. It’s making me feel all of the things I’ve been missing with Pistol. Pistol. I can’t help but think of my boyfriend. I am so confused. How can I have these feelings for my best friend? Besides, I’m not a cheater. My strong attraction to Brody is really playing with my mind. I hope I can stifle these irrational urges before I do something unforgivable.

  I snap out of my trance when we pull up to Mason Ranch around 10:00 p.m. It’s pretty dark now, and the gravel drive is dimly lit by the lights shining through the windows of the ranch hands’ house. As we get out of the truck, Mason comes bouncing up to the truck with a huge smile on his face. “Howdy, guys!” he greets with enthusiasm, shaking Caden’s hand and giving his cousin one of those manly “handshake with the left, one-armed hug on the right” combo greetings. “Glad you could come hang out for a bit before we get to work. So, what kind of fun did you boys come up with for our baling pre-party?”

  Caden heads to the back of his truck to pull out the stockpile of supplies he brought for whatever their little surprise was going to be. As he takes out the rope, shovel, axe, and rake Mason starts laughing. “What in the heck are you boys planning to do with that?”

  “I have no clue Pal. This was all your crazy cousin’s idea. He won’t let us in on the big secret. I don’t know what it’s for,” Caden shakes his head, with a frustrated look on his face. He still has an edge to his voice, which tells me that he’s not very happy with Brody right now.

  “Hey, lighten up Caden; I thought we came to get Kaitlyn’s mind off this horrible day,” Jenna pipes in.

  “You’re right Jenna, we all need to lighten up.” Brody turns to Caden. In a contrite tone he explains, “It’s for a bonfire down by the river. I thought it would be fun for the girls. We’re gonna be roasting s’mores on the rake. Our grandpa used to do it with us when we were little. We could make like a dozen at a time to share with all the ranch hands. It was just a good memory, and I know how much your sis likes s’mores. I thought it would cheer her up.”

  Amusement fills Mason face. He laughs, “Well I’ll be darned . . . I forgot all about that. That was the coolest trick ever! Ok then, how ‘bout we load up the Ranger with all of the gear. I’ll drive a couple of you. Brody, you can take your four wheeler and one of the girls.”

  Jenna jumps up and moves toward Mason. “I’ve never ridden in a Ranger before. Can I ride with you Big Guy?” She bats her eyes and sidles up next to him, jokingly pouring on the flirty charm like only she could.

  Mason puffs out his chest and tips his head toward Brody. “Guess this means you’ve got Kaitlyn, Cuz. My heart jumps and my eyes grow wide when he looks over at me and smiles. I take a deep breath as the smile induced quake moves through my chest and quivers in the pit of my stomach. Crap on a cracker; this is just what I need . . . more alone time with Brody. Time to put on my acting panties again and try not to let him feel my nerves trembling. I see a dimple pop in Brody’s cheek as his grin widens. He walks over to me, puts his hand on my back, and silently guides me toward his four wheeler.

  Once the gear is loaded, the gang hops in the Ranger. Brody is already seated on his four wheeler waiting for me to jump on. He looks up at me and pats the seat behind him. “Come on now,” he chuckles. I take a deep breath before I slide on behind him. I’m very cautious about leaving a gap between Brody’s behind and my thighs. The closeness between us has my stomach tying itself in quadruple knots; simultaneously, electric tremors shoot down my legs. My nervous system’s hyperactivity is leaving me a little weak. The trembling has begun, but I definitely don’t want him to feel that he’s getting to me again. Rather than holding onto him, I lean back, gripping onto the bars behind me. “Are you even on here Pip?” he questions before he starts the machine.

  “I’m here, let’s go Bro. They’re leaving us in the dust. We’ve got to go before my brother starts to wonder what’s taking us so lo
ng.” Nervousness is evident in my voice. The ATV roars to life, and we head across the road into the wide open alfalfa fields. The wind in my face and the smell of freshly cut alfalfa is awakening my senses. To my right, the deep green of the field is barely visible under the moonlight. Enormous water wheels line the field. The sprinklers are on and I can feel the mist of water against my face as it blows in the gentle breeze. As the soft spray dusts my eyes, I turn my head left and see a small barn nestled in front of a second field. Off in the distance, a herd of cows dot the landscape. They aren’t too close, but I can still hear the faint ringing of their bells.

  We continue along the dirt path and make our way deeper into the fields. The road is becoming increasingly bumpier, yet I try to maintain my distance on the four wheeler without holding on. As we hit an unexpected rock, I am jostled forward. Before I can stop myself, my bottom launches into the air and I plummet right into Brody. The four wheeler comes to a sudden stop and I try to peel myself from his back. “Sorry,” I apologize, crinkling my nose and biting at my bottom lip.

  He twists his body around toward me, glancing down at my lip pinned between my teeth. In response, an almost painful look crosses his face. I hear him inhale deeply. “Careful Pip,” he warns. “I don’t want to throw you off. Now hold on.”

  “I’m okay,” I respond. “I just wasn’t paying attention.”

  Brody turns back toward the handles and flips his hat backward. “This is gonna get pretty bumpy, and I’m not up for your stubbornness tonight.” He reaches back until he finds my hands. He takes them into his and pulls them gently around his waist. “Scoot in Pip Squeak. I’m not gonna let you fall.” He pins my hands beneath his until he can feel me begin to hold on by myself.

  I scoot forward until there is no longer a gap between us. As his warmth begins to spread over me, my body begins to betray me once again. I tremble as I feel his rippled abs beneath my sensitive fingers. I feel him let out a small chuckle and shake his head back and forth. “Are you nervous, Pip? I can feel you shaking.” Perfect! He thinks I’m shaking because I’m scared. I’m glad he doesn’t suspect the real reason. “Just don’t let go.” He covers my hands once again with his, as we start to accelerate. I can’t be sure, but I think I hear Brody’s soft whisper float back to me, “Ever.”