The Year of Living Shamelessly

by Susanna Carr

But maybe she was looking at it wrong. Would being with Ryder open up a new and exciting world? Would it tap into fantasies she was too unsure of to uncover?

  “Oh, no.” Hilary set down her drink with a thud. “Darwin is wearing the same pants that I am.”

  Katie froze, knowing from past experience it was best not to make any sudden moves. “He spotted us?”

  “No, he’s making the rounds. Tell me the truth, do I look better in these pants than Darwin does?” Hilary did a fashion model turn.

  “Yes, of course.”

  Hilary gave a sigh of exasperation. “You didn’t even look at him to make the comparison.”

  “Where is he?” Katie looked in the direction Hilary had indicated earlier. Did she really want to see Darwin in PVC?

  “He’s right over there.” Hilary squinted. “Huh. Well, he was right over there.”

  “You lost track of him?”

  “Don’t worry,” Hilary said in a placating manner. “Just look for a guy in a studded dog collar.”

  Katie’s eyes widened as she mouthed the words. Dog collar? She hoped Darwin was far away from the exit because she’d just decided her twenty minutes were up.

  She felt a large masculine hand clamp around her wrist. Double damn. Darwin had found her. She felt dread twisting her stomach. She needed to talk fast before the guy maneuvered her into one of the members-only rooms.

  “Well, fancy seeing you here,” she said with a forced smile and looked up. “Ryder?!”

  Ryder was clearly furious. A muscle twitched in his rigid jaw as his dark eyes glittered with savage anger. She glanced at Hilary, who had decided that now was the best time to chug down her drink.

  Katie looked back at Ryder and only then noticed her brother standing behind him. She couldn’t tell what Jake was thinking because he was too busy panting after a woman in leather hot pants. Jake never worried about his little sister. Maybe he thought she was too much of a good girl, or maybe he knew that Ryder would handle it. The only advice she got solely from Jake was to leave Ryder alone. Her brother obviously thought she hadn’t changed much from the annoying brat she used to be.

  She noticed that neither Ryder nor Jake had dressed for the club. Ryder wore a long-sleeve blue T-shirt, jeans and running shoes. There was nothing that hinted at his sexual taste, but then Ryder didn’t need to emphasize his dominant traits. One look at him and anyone would know that he was a leader and would take charge of any situation.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked Ryder.

  “That’s what I should ask you.” His grip tightened. It wasn’t painful, but she was very aware of how much he was trying to control his temper. “I told you to stay away from this place. Jake and I are here,” he said, his words crisp with anger, “because we heard you decided to join the club.”

  Hilary snorted with laughter. “Join the club? Not quite. Who told you we were here?”

  “You asked all of Crystal Bend for directions,” Jake said. “And then we saw Melissa, who was worried about you guys.”

  “Well, as you can see, we’re safe and sound. And we rented a hotel room across the street.” That piece of information mysteriously increased Ryder’s anger. “So you don’t have to worry about us driving all the way back home.”

  “It’s time to leave,” Ryder announced.

  “I just got here.” She wasn’t totally sure why she was refusing Ryder’s escort. A couple of minutes ago she had thought the same thing, but she didn’t want to leave just because Ryder told her to. “I haven’t had a chance to mingle or take a sip of my drink.”

  Ryder gave her a warning look and she knew she was pushing her luck. “I’m going to say it one more time,” Ryder whispered in her ear. “We are leaving.”

  Katie pulled away. “I’ll see you when I get back in town.” She lifted her glass to her lips, but she didn’t catch a drop as Ryder bent down and slung her over his shoulder, fireman-style.

  “Ryder!” she shrieked as she dropped her glass.

  Ryder acted like he didn’t hear her or feel the thump of her fist on his back. “Jake, you get Hilary out of here. Rent another hotel room and we’ll meet up in the morning.”

  “I can take Katie,” Jake said, and something in his voice alerted Katie. Did he not trust her with Ryder?

  “Wait a second,” Hilary interrupted. “No one is taking anyone anywhere. You can’t just haul Katie out of here. What are you planning to do?”

  “I’m going to lock her up and throw away the key.”

  “Sir?” Two men in dark suits with earpieces suddenly flanked them. “Put the woman down.”

  “Don’t worry.” Ryder patted the curve of Katie’s ass. “She is mine.”

  CHAPTER NINE

  She is mine. Katie couldn’t stop the exhilaration flooding through her. She hoped she wasn’t smiling as Ryder carried her out of the club. He’d actually said those three little words. She. Is. Mine. She had always wanted to hear him say that.

  She heard the heavy door slam and the cold, wet night air hit her skin. Katie shivered and lifted herself up over Ryder’s shoulders. She saw they were outside and that the downtown street was quiet. As far as she could tell, no one was around, but that could change any minute. And, knowing her luck, it would be someone she knew. She pushed the heels of her hands against Ryder’s back. “You can put me down now.”

  “Forget it.” He strode across the sidewalk like a man on a mission.

  “Fine,” she answered pertly. “If you want me to flash all of Seattle, that’s your choice. . . .”

  Ryder immediately stopped and slid her down the length of his body. He was all hard muscle. When her boots hit the sidewalk, Ryder didn’t let go. He held her upper arm in an unbreakable grip as they crossed the street to the small hotel. Katie had to skip and hop to keep up with him.

  “Give me your hotel key,” he said as they reached the revolving door.

  Did he really think she was going to make it easy for him? That she didn’t have a say in anything? If she had been at the café in Crystal Bend, she wouldn’t have let him yank her out of there and drag her across the street. “What makes you think I have it?”

  “Because you always have to be in control.” He stopped in front of the hotel and held out his hand, knowing she had a key.

  The sad thing was, she hadn’t realized how much she needed to be in control until he took it away from her. But she was getting better about it.

  If she wanted to, she could refuse to give him the key. She had the power to walk away from him right now. But she didn’t want to leave. Ryder had come after her tonight and she wanted to see this through. Katie reached into the pocket of her black miniskirt and pulled out the plastic key card.

  As Ryder snatched it silently, Katie knew that she wouldn’t have been able to simply walk away. If she had tried to leave him in the street, he would have done something very uncivilized. She was just fooling herself, thinking she had power over this situation.

  Ryder guided her into the hotel and tersely asked for her room number. She hesitated and he stopped in the middle of the old-world lobby. The atmosphere was hushed and elegant, and she was feeling anything but that. Something raw and feral pressed against her chest, ready to break through. She quietly recited the numbers, trying to maintain her composure. Ryder grabbed her upper arm again and escorted her to the room, his sense of direction eerie.

  But then again, he may have been here before. Countless times, even, Katie realized as they took a short ride in the claustrophobic elevator.

  The elevator doors opened and Ryder hustled her down the hall. He located the small room and closed the door with a sense of finality. He didn’t turn around, his head low, as if he was gathering strength. A trickle of apprehension slid down her spine. She backed away, the back of her knee catching the edge of the bed.

  Ryder turned and leaned against the door. He looked at her in silence, but she could tell he had quite a lot to say. She didn’t think she had ever seen him this angry.
She suspected he wanted to punch a hole in the wall, but the tremor in his hand and the muscle twitching in his clenched jaw were the only visible signs of his emotions.

  “We agreed that you would not go to the club,” Ryder said, his voice dangerously low.

  Katie would have preferred yelling to this carefully controlled voice. She licked her lips. “We said that you wouldn’t initiate me at the club.”

  “You knew I didn’t want you at the club.”

  She couldn’t talk around that statement. He’d made his feelings about the bondage club very clear. “You knew I expected more last night.”

  “Is that what this is about?” He stepped away from the door and she took another step back. “You want to punish me for last night?”

  “No,” she said, her voice high and squeaky. “I came here to see what bondage was all about.”

  He shook his head. “You came here knowing I would follow.”

  “No!” But as she said it, she wasn’t so sure. Was this all to provoke a response from Ryder? She knew he would have kept his distance from her after last night, and this was a surefire way to have him come to her.

  “You weren’t secretive, asking everyone for directions,” Ryder pointed out.

  “Hilary asked around, not me,” she defended.

  “And you conveniently left Melissa in Crystal Bend to tell me your plans.”

  She scoffed at that accusation. She was not that conniving. “She didn’t want to go.”

  “She was smart.”

  Katie knew it was time to stand her ground. “Why is it okay for you to go to this club, but I can’t go anywhere near it?” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I can’t believe you would be so hypocritical.”

  “I don’t care what you believe.”And he really didn’t. She could tell her words didn’t make him pause. “That is the way it’s going to be.”

  His arrogance was too much. “Just keep telling yourself that when you pack up and leave.”

  “You can throw all the accusations you want at me,” Ryder said as he took another step toward her. “It’s not going to change my mind, and it’s not going to change the fact that you broke your promise.”

  “I did not.” She took another prudent step back.

  “You broke the rules.” He reached for his belt.

  Katie’s eyes bugged out as she watched him unbuckle the strap of leather around his waist. “What are you going to do?” She could barely get the words out.

  “You knew there would be consequences,” he said as he jerked the belt from his jeans and held the ends in his hand.

  Perhaps she hadn’t been specific enough. “What are you planning to do with . . . that?” She pointed at the belt.

  He paused and Katie saw the devilish glint in his eye. “This?” Ryder thwacked it hard against his palm.

  She took another hasty step back. “If you touch me with that belt, I will scream this place down and I will never, ever forgive you.”

  His eyebrow went up. “Katie, what is going through that little head of yours?”

  Okay, so he wasn’t planning to spank her with that. Her relieved sigh was weak as her heart stopped pumping frantically. Now she was embarrassed and really mad at herself—as well as worried that she might just have given him an idea. She tossed her hair back and thrust her chin out defiantly. “Maybe I’m kinkier than you think.”

  His mouth twitched with a smile. “You are as vanilla as it gets.”

  Katie frowned, but she didn’t take her eyes off the belt. She wasn’t sure what being vanilla meant, but it didn’t sound very complimentary. It made her sound bland and boring.

  Ryder dropped the belt onto the carpet, but Katie could tell that she was still in trouble. He was bent on showing her the consequences of her actions, and she couldn’t predict what he was planning. She wasn’t scared, but the not knowing was killing her.

  “Well, thank you, Ryder, for showing me the error of my ways,” she said as she inched away, wondering how far she was from the bathroom. She didn’t think she could hide in there all night, but if he really was as mad as he seemed, she might need to try. No, she reminded herself—when would she ever get Ryder alone in a hotel room again? She needed to make the most of this opportunity.

  “You’re not getting off that easy,” he said, grabbing the collar of his shirt and pulling it off.

  “And I promise that I will never return to the club.” She held her hands out as if giving a pledge. “Cross my heart and hope to die.”

  “You’ve shown me how much your word means.”

  She didn’t like that accusation at all. “Can you guess why I went to the club? It was to figure out what I needed to do so you wouldn’t walk away from me the next time I’m naked, vulnerable, and desperate for you.”

  Ryder paused. “I did that for your own good.”

  “You did that because you don’t trust yourself with me.”

  “That, too,” he admitted as he threw his shirt on the ground. “You have my full attention now. I’m not planning to go anywhere.”

  She stared at his muscular chest, the excitement pressing inside her. This was the moment she’d been waiting for all year. But she wasn’t going to be a sure thing or an easy lay for Ryder Scott. She’d learned her lesson from last time—if she gave him too much power, would he abandon her when she was naked and panting for more? She edged closer to the bathroom. “So, what is my punishment going to be? An early bedtime?”

  He raised an eyebrow. “You’re very bratty for someone who is already in trouble.”

  “I can be, because you’re not going to punish me,” she taunted.

  Suddenly, he pounced. Katie’s surprised yelp fizzled in her throat as he cornered her. He flattened his hands on the wall, trapping her. As he leaned in, she felt his body heat. “Wanna bet,” he whispered.

  Maybe she had a bit of kink in her because the only thoughts in her head were: Don’t hold back! Punish me good!

  “Get rid of your choker.”

  His command surprised Katie and her hand went to her throat. “Why? I kind of like it.”

  “I didn’t give it to you, and I don’t touch another dominant’s submissive.”

  Good point. Katie untied it from her throat and tossed it over Ryder’s shoulder. “Happy?”

  He didn’t answer as his gaze slid down past her shoulders. “Take off your vest.”

  He wanted her to strip in front of him. She suddenly felt shy and she hated it. This moment felt different from when he had taken off her dress yesterday. Their emotions were both running so high now. “If you want it off, you take it off.”

  He looked into her eyes. “Take off your vest.”

  It was a battle of wills. He didn’t use threats, but she knew he would walk away if she didn’t follow his rules. She wanted to appear powerful and confident, but she wanted to play this game even more.

  She watched his expression as she unsnapped the PVC vest. It was more out of shyness than design that she slowly peeled the polyvinyl off her chest. She liked how his eyes blazed when he discovered she was wearing nothing underneath. Her skin tingled, her nipples tightening as she waited for his touch.

  “Now your skirt,” he said hoarsely.

  She nervously licked her lips as she squeezed her thighs together. The shyness she felt was very inconvenient. “Why don’t you put your hands to good use?”

  “Katie”—his mouth was right against her ear—“take off your skirt or I will tear it from your body.”

  Naughty excitement licked through her veins. “You wouldn’t,” she said huskily, knowing full well that he would.

  She saw the wicked flash in his eyes and felt his hand bunch up her skirt. But she still gasped when he gave it a violent tug and she heard the fabric tear. Katie couldn’t help but look down and watch the skirt fall to the floor.

  She stayed very still, her nipples tightening, as Ryder stared at her bare body. Her toes curled in the leather stiletto boots. “Take off my b
oots,” she whispered.

  “No,” he said as he glanced down at them. “They stay on.”

  Ryder wanted her to wear them to bed? Her hips twitched as the sexual excitement curled and tightened deep in her pelvis. “I thought you hated them.”

  “I do,” he said, “but you need to learn that you don’t give the commands.”

  “Are you saying I have no power?” She leaned into him, rubbing her hard nipples against his chest. Katie was secretly thrilled that he didn’t move away. “I’m told there is a power exchange between a dominant and his submissive.”