The Year of Living Shamelessly

by Susanna Carr

  “Ryder, you don’t have to concern yourself with this.” Katie tried to inject herself in the conversation before Darwin lost all bladder control.

  Ryder didn’t listen to her. He kept his laser focus on Darwin, who was beginning to perspire. “I don’t like it when people gossip about Katie.”

  “It’s not gossip,” Darwin babbled nervously. “I saw her.”

  Ryder leaned forward and lowered his voice. “Be very careful about what you decide to say next.”

  Darwin paled and Katie decided she’d had enough. As much as she appreciated Ryder’s protection, he didn’t need to traumatize guys like Darwin. She slid out of the booth and stood between the two men.

  She flattened her hand on Ryder’s chest. “Ryder, leave Darwin alone. He meant no harm.”

  Ryder glanced down at her. His expression hadn’t changed. She knew why Darwin was sweating bullets, but she wasn’t afraid. “Sit down, Katie.”

  “No.”

  Displeasure flickered in his eyes. “Katie”—he wrapped his hand around her wrist and pulled down her hand—“I need to talk to you. Privately.”

  She gave a sigh of impatience and looked over her shoulder. “I’ll be right back,” she promised her friends.

  Ryder ran his hands through his hair as he escorted Katie away from the table.

  Just when Darwin slumped against the booth and sighed, Ryder backtracked and stared down at the other man. “I got my eye on you now, Jones.” Then Ryder kept walking, not waiting around for Darwin’s reaction. He knew his words would have a strong effect.

  “You don’t have to intimidate Darwin like that,” Katie whispered fiercely as Ryder guided her past the other tables. “He’s annoying, but he doesn’t mean any harm.”

  “You shouldn’t lead him on like that,” Ryder said in a harsh and low voice, his self-control slipping. He stopped into the alcove with the pay phone next to the restrooms. Katie needed to understand why she drove him crazy. “Do you need to have every man in Crystal Bend panting after you?”

  “Lead him on?” Katie’s jaw dropped. “I do not! I’m trying to be nice because I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”

  “Stop encouraging him,” Ryder ordered. It amazed him that Katie didn’t understand her sex appeal with other men. “Don’t talk to Jones, don’t look in his direction, and stop smiling at him.”

  “Oh, you are being ridiculous.” She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. “I am not going to be rude to Darwin because you’re jealous.”

  Ryder’s eyes widened. “Jealous of Darwin?” His voice rose in disbelief. “Now who is being ridiculous?”

  It sounded ridiculous. Outrageous. And yet, he knew there was some truth to it. Katie had chosen to be with him right now and he didn’t want any guy—even Darwin—intruding on his time with her. He was a possessive man and he didn’t share. At all.

  “Darwin is not harmless. I heard everything he said the moment I walked in here,” Ryder continued. The guy was lucky he’d held back, because otherwise Darwin would be kissing the sidewalk right now. “Everyone heard him. I did what I had to do in order to protect your reputation.”

  Katie rolled her eyes. “You’re trying to protect my reputation? In case you haven’t noticed, I didn’t have much of one until this year.”

  Oh, he’d noticed all right. He’d noticed the guys she dated and hated every minute of it. But she was his now and that meant he protected everything about her, including her reputation.

  She gave him a sharp, sudden look. “Unless it’s your reputation that’s really worrying you.”

  He scoffed at the suggestion. “I don’t care about that.” He never had. Katie should know that.

  “But you don’t want people to know about us, do you? Am I your dirty little secret?” she asked, crossing her arms, as if the possibility hurt. “You can give it to me straight, Ryder. I can handle it.”

  Ryder rubbed his hands over his face, digging the heels of his palms against his eyes. How had he gotten into this conversation? One minute he was warning her about the dangers of Darwin and the next he was defending himself. “You could never be anyone’s dirty little secret.”

  “Thanks, I think.”

  Ryder lowered his hands. “I don’t care what people say about me, but I do care what they say about you.” Didn’t she understand that he wanted to protect her from prying eyes?

  His motives weren’t completely noble. He didn’t want her to have a single moment of regret over what they experienced together. Some people in town would gladly pick at what he shared with Katie. He would keep the ugliness at bay for as long as he could, giving their relationship some time to bind and strengthen, so that when he left, Katie would remember him with love and affection.

  “I can take care of myself,” Katie insisted. “My methods are different, but they are just as effective.”

  “I’m trying to protect what we have,” Ryder said, splaying his hands in the air to emphasize his point. “You don’t approve of my methods? Too bad. I will do what I think is necessary.

  “I will not have your reputation dirtied because my name is associated with yours,” he continued. Ryder pointed toward the tables in the café. “Right now, no one other than Darwin is going to give you trouble because I’m around. Once I leave, it’s going to be a different story.”

  Katie pressed her lips together and looked away. He couldn’t tell what she was thinking, but it looked like she was trying not to cry. Okay, what had he done now? “Katie? Are you listening to me?”

  She turned to face him. “Yes, I am.” Her eyes dulled and the expression on her face was blank. Katie’s words were clipped as she kept her gaze straight ahead at his chest. “I promise I won’t do anything to encourage the rumors. Is that all?”

  He watched her carefully, trying to figure out why she was guarding her emotions from him. Katie was someone who argued passionately and challenged him every step of the way. He had never felt like she was mentally pushing him aside until now. He suddenly felt cold.

  “And stay away from Darwin,” he ordered, waiting for a flicker of spirit in her eyes. None came.

  “I will do my best,” she promised with a tight smile. “But we just gave everyone in the café something to talk about. How about if you leave first and I’ll follow in a couple of minutes?” She headed toward the restroom. “Who are you with?”

  “I owe Jake breakfast, but he’s late as usual,” Ryder answered, watching her carefully. She was cool, distant and agreeable. That wasn’t good.

  “I’ll eat fast and get out of here,” she offered.

  “Forget it,” Ryder said with an impatient growl and walked away from her. “I’ll do takeout. Jake won’t mind.” How was it that she had agreed to do what he asked, but he still felt like he’d lost a major battle?

  Katie watched him leave. She exhaled shakily and entered the women’s restroom. As she washed her hands, taking time to recover, she looked at her reflection in the mirror. She was surprised to see how composed she appeared. No watery eyes, pale complexion or red cheeks advertising how stressed she felt.

  And she was stressed, Katie admitted as she turned off the faucet and grabbed a paper towel. This should have been a wonderful time for her because the man she loved was in her life and in her bed. She should be happy. Walking tall. Freaking glowing. But he was still determined to leave.

  And that didn’t make any sense. She wadded up the towel and viciously threw it in the wastebasket. He’d already given in to temptation, so why was he still planning to move? Wasn’t that like closing the barn door after the horses escaped? There had to be something else going on. How was she going to figure it out before he left in two days?

  No wonder she was stressed! She tightened her long ponytail until her scalp tingled with pain. Straightening her pink leopard-print hoodie over her sparkly black yoga pants, Katie glanced down at her pink athletic shoes and groaned. Maybe Hilary had a valid point about the height of her heels reflecting her mood. />
  She flung open the bathroom door. Calm down, she reminded herself. Chin up and shoulders back. She knew people would look at her the moment she went back out on the floor. She was going to show the whole of Crystal Bend that she was unaffected by their attention.

  Just as she passed the alcove, Katie collided with another person. Great entrance. What’s your encore going to be? She felt big hands grab her arms to keep her from falling down.

  “Darwin!” She noticed he wasn’t as pale or sweaty anymore. The guy managed to bounce back fast. “I’m sorry. I wasn’t looking where I was going. Are you all right?”

  Darwin scoffed at her question and moved, guiding them back into the alcove. “I’m fine. I wanted to check on you and let you know that I have your back.”

  “You have my back?” She pressed her lips together and gave a solemn nod. “Thank you, but it’s not necessary.” She tried to step away but Darwin didn’t let go.

  “And anytime you want to go to the bondage club, just call me.” He leered. “You can be my special guest.”

  Okay, now it was time to follow Ryder’s advice. She placed her hand on his chest, and pulled it away when she decided it would be too encouraging. “No, thank you. I saw enough of the club to know that lifestyle is not for me.”

  “It’s okay,” Darwin said, glancing up at the ceiling. “Ryder won’t be around to complain.”

  “What are you looking at?” Katie looked up and saw that all this time Darwin had been positioning her under something leafy and green hanging from the ceiling by a floppy red bow. Mistletoe. “Oh, you have got to be kidding me. Do you have a death wish?”

  Darwin didn’t answer as he smothered her mouth with a wet, sloppy kiss. Katie wondered why she was never wearing those killer boots when she needed to kick someone hard. She pushed Darwin away and he went flying.

  That surprised her, and just as she was questioning her own strength, she saw Ryder holding Darwin by the back of his test pattern sweater. Darwin’s feet weren’t kicking in the air, but his toes were barely touching the floor.

  She saw fury tightening Ryder’s harsh features. She held out her hands in a placating manner. “Ryder, it’s okay. I have this under control.”

  “Oh, yeah. I can see that. Jones had you backed up in a corner and was making unwanted advances.”

  “No!” Darwin’s voice squeaked. “It doesn’t count if there’s mistletoe involved.”

  Ryder reached up and tore the sprig of mistletoe from the ceiling with barely restrained violence. “Do you know what you can do with this mistletoe?”

  “Ryder!” Katie said urgently, yanking at his arm. “You don’t want to cause a scene.”

  “You’re right. Let’s take this outside, Jones.”

  Fear twisted Darwin’s face as Ryder dragged him through the café and out the door. Katie followed their trail, aware of heads turning and the murmurs of shock. After all the intimidation Ryder used on her dates in high school, Katie should have had enough experience to defuse the situation. But something was very different this time. Ryder truly saw Darwin as a trespasser.

  She walked outside and yanked at Ryder’s arm before he laid a hand on Darwin. “Ryder, please stop.”

  He didn’t lower his fist, but he didn’t shrug her off. “I told you not to encourage him.”

  “He isn’t going to talk to me ever again. Isn’t that right, Darwin?” She caught Darwin’s gaze and nodded with exaggeration, prompting him to answer correctly.

  “Right,” Darwin said, hunching his shoulders. “I didn’t know Katie was yours. She never said.”

  Oh, right. Like this was all her fault for not wearing a T-shirt that said “the personal property of Ryder Scott.” She swallowed back a retort, knowing the situation would be resolved faster if neither man lost face in this showdown.

  “There, you see, Ryder?” She pulled at his arm. “No harm, no foul. Now put Darwin down.”

  Ryder let Darwin go abruptly. The man took a giant step back and straightened his sweater. “I-I—”

  “Why are you still here?” Ryder asked him coldly.

  Darwin gulped, turned and ran.

  “He runs away fast,” Katie remarked with surprise. The guy was already on the next block.

  “He’s had a lot of practice,” Ryder replied, looking at her instead of the retreating Darwin. “You didn’t correct him.”

  Katie rolled her head with exasperation. “I didn’t expect him to make a move after you scared him. I thought he had more brains than pride.”

  “He said you were mine, and you didn’t argue.” He placed a finger under her chin and lifted her head. She couldn’t avoid his gaze.

  “I am yours,” she replied. Her heart skipped a beat and then went into overdrive.

  “Is that right?” His eyes narrowed on her lips.

  “Don’t make me have to prove it,” she teased him, but he didn’t smile. He pressed his thumb against her lips and slid it hard across the length of her mouth. He wiped away her smeared lipstick and, she suspected, Darwin’s claim.

  Ryder held her chin tight, as if she might try to get away. When was he going to learn that she wasn’t going anywhere? Ryder claimed her mouth with a possessive kiss. She put her hands on his shoulders, wanting to lean into him, melt into his heat, when they were interrupted.

  “What the hell?”

  Katie broke away from the kiss. She recognized the voice and it had the effect of a bucket of cold water. Still, she had to turn to confirm that her mind wasn’t playing tricks.

  Jake stood next to them on the sidewalk outside the café. He was staring, stunned, his face flushed. And she had never seen him so angry.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  Katie stared at her brother, the cold breeze whipping her hair in her eyes. Her stomach twisted into knots so tight she felt nauseated.

  Driven by instinct, Katie moved between Ryder and Jake. She didn’t consider it a courageous move. She knew her brother and Ryder wouldn’t hurt her. But they might hurt each other. The tension emanating from Ryder was nothing like the dark emotions rolling in waves from her brother. She had to keep this from coming to blows and prevent any angry words that could never be taken back.

  She would do whatever it took to protect Ryder. He might think that was unnecessary, but she knew he was suffering. Jake was his best friend and Ryder couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him. She wished she could have done something to keep him from this confrontation, but she wasn’t going to waste time agonizing over something she couldn’t change. Katie faced Jake defiantly, her arms outstretched in a protective gesture. She sensed the men’s surprise at her stance.

  “Jake,” she began, holding his gaze and refusing to back down from the anger she saw, “I can explain.”

  “I can figure this one out on my own,” Jake said, his voice carrying a bite. Jake braced his legs and stuffed his hands in the pockets of his thick red hoodie. “How long has this been going on?”

  It was a simple question, but Katie wasn’t sure how to answer it. She wasn’t going to admit anything until she knew what Ryder’s story would be. So far he had offered her no clue. He was silent, not saying a word in his defense. Why had he withdrawn into himself ? She had never seen Ryder unsure of how to act before.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said and blew the hair from her face. When in doubt, play dumb. It had worked for Katie at the office countless times, but it wasn’t so successful in this situation. Her answer only seemed to anger Jake even more. He slowly took his hands out of his pockets and Katie wondered if he was about to make a move.

  She sensed the tension escalating in Ryder. She didn’t have to look at him to know he was ready to pounce. Katie figured she only had a few more moments to settle things before Ryder took over and ended it his way.

  “Since Seattle?” Jake asked. “When you guys shared a hotel room? I should have known!”

  Katie didn’t answer. She wasn’t going to discuss what had happened in that hot
el room with her brother. That was a private, intimate moment between Ryder and her. Katie saw a movement from the corner of her eye. She looked and saw curious faces pressed against the café window. So much for not causing a scene.

  “Before Seattle?” Jake asked in a raised voice.

  She winced and bit her lower lip. The cold was seeping into her bones. Oh, how was she going to answer this and not land herself in deeper trouble?

  “Wait a second.” Comprehension hit Jake and his hands curled into fists at his side. He looked at Katie with horror. “That night when Ryder asked me to drop by the house. You were—” He gestured at her, his hands flying in every direction. “You were—Eww!”