Sweetness

by S Gonzalez

  I give him a pitiful smile and shake my head in the negative. “Nothing. Family stuff. I’ll be okay.” I put my elbows on the table and ask what he is working on. He tells me he is just coordinating a team for a new campaign for a chain restaurant. I pretend to care, but in reality I can’t focus on anything other then the revelation Dominic just dumped on me.

  “Do you want to talk about it?”

  “Not really. I would just prefer to wake up one day and have a normal family that doesn’t bring chaos and havoc to the table every chance they get.”

  “Well sometimes we need a little chaos and havoc for us to put our lives in perspective. It makes us appreciate the bigger picture and focus less on the little things,” he retorts, a soft smile tipping the corners of his lips.

  I take a deep cleansing breath and drop my forehead on the table in front of me. This is exhausting. I hear a soft laugh come from Gabe’s direction. He walks around the table to sit next to me and rubs small circles on my hand with his large hand. His touch relaxes me, it feels gentle and soothing. Exactly what I need. But wrong at the same time.

  Slowly lifting my head from the table, I sit up straighter and slump back in my chair. “Thank you.”

  “What are intimidating bosses for?” he grins.

  “You’re not that bad.” I nudge him with my elbow.

  “Really? I can’t even get you to call me by my first name because I have scared you to think if you do, I will…what do you think I will do to you.” Gabe can’t hide the amusement in his tone.

  “Fire me.” I say ruefully,

  Gabe’s face falls. All semblance of a smile gone. “Do you really think I would fire you for that?”

  “Yes, I do. I think you would fire me for much less.”

  “You don’t think very much of me do you?” His tone is sad. I don’t want him to think I don’t like him, because I do. I am just baffled by him. He is conundrum to me.

  I put my hand on top of his interlaced hands that are resting on the table. “That’s not true. I think you are great. You have always been fair. Even when I acted like a brat on my first day. If it makes you feel better, I will call you Gabe outside the office.”

  I give him a small smile and he nods his head in agreement, looking down at my hand. I pull it back and sit back in my chair. “Emma, can I ask you a question.”

  “Shoot.”

  “Do you really plan on taking over HMA one day?”

  “Of course. Why?”

  “Well I just figured that since you will be my boss one day, I better start sucking up if I want to keep my job,” he snickers.

  It is nice to be here talking to Gabe like he is a normal person. I am still not sure if he is gay or straight, and you can usually cut the sexual tension between us with a knife, but when he is relaxed like this, he’s a great guy.

  “Well according to Mia that won’t be a problem because we are going to get married and run the company together.” Filter, Hill, filter.

  Gabe stiffens in his seat and there is suddenly a weird vibe in the room. “What? Why would she say that?”

  “I think she was kidding.” Here goes nothing. “Maybe she doesn’t see it.”

  “See what?”

  “That you’re gay. I don’t think you-“

  Gabe laughs. “Why in the hell do you think I’m gay?”

  “Well because…you never…” Oh god. My face is red again, I can feel it. I am completely embarrassed. I have managed to make a complete ass of myself…again. I knew this was an inappropriate conversation to have. “Gabe I’m sorry. I just assumed.” I stand and look around the room for an out in this conversation.

  Gabe stands abruptly and his chair is forced back. He’s angry? I’ve offended him for sure. Gabe towers over me. His six foot two frame warming my already overly heated skin to the max. I slide my eyes up his chest, neck and face until I am looking into light chocolate brown eyes, which are almost completely black with desire. Nope not angry, just extremely turned on and panting like a dog.

  Sweet baby Jesus, he’s hot.

  There isn’t a molecule of space between us. My breathing becomes heavy in anticipation of his next move. He stares into my eyes and I have to say, notwithstanding all of the hot sex I have with Dominic, this has got to be the most erotic moment I have ever had. He leans down and I stiffen. I am flustered and good God I know this is wrong. It feels like he going to kiss me. I can’t move. My body is in a trance; I can’t manage to move my eyes from his, at all.

  He brings his face next to mine so we are cheek to cheek. He whispers in my ear, “Anytime you want me to show you how straight I am, you let me know.”

  He gently kisses my cheek. When he pulls his face back I can feel my knees getting weaker by the second while his coffee scented breath engulfs me. With a look at sheer confidence he flashes me a soft wink and retreats to his room without another word. Once the door closes I sink back into my chair and cover my face with my hands.

  Great!

  Chapter 12 For the first night since I arrived in Miami, I am all alone in my bed. Dominic decided to stay in his room and hang out with the guys after the show last night. I was relieved because I just wanted to crash. Two very late nights of loud music followed by hot sex is enough to make me want to sleep the day away, but I have to finish packing before we hit the road. When I put my stuff back in my suitcase, I realize I only have what I bought with me to Miami. I’ll have to do a bit of shopping once we get to Austin.

  After all my stuff is packed and I take a much needed shower, I pull my luggage out to the main room. Gabe is sitting at the table in pajama pants and a white tshirt reading the newspaper. We have avoided each other-or rather I have avoided him-since his confession that he is in fact straight. I don’t think he was just hinting at his sexual orientation.

  “No shit, Sherlock.” I inwardly scold myself for being so naïve.

  His presence does strange things to my body and despite my brain telling me not to react like a lovesick teenager, my body won’t listen. For everyone’s sake I need to stay away from him. I would never cheat on Dominic. I love him. But I don’t trust myself around Gabe. He has this draw to him that I can’t seem to resist. He has this power over me that I can’t describe. My insides feel like melted chocolate left out in the sun too long and my mind goes blank when he is around. No one has ever had the ability to completely control me with just a look.

  I need to keep my distance. Shouldn’t be too hard since I won’t be seeing him for a whole month. Hopefully, once I get back, the awkwardness between us will have disappeared.

  “Good morning,” Gabe greets looking over his paper with a boyish grin on his face. “I ordered breakfast. I want to go over some things with you before you leave.”

  His dimples deepen when he smiles like that. I can’t help but eye fuck him and fantasize dirty, naughty things when he looks at me like at. It is like the other day didn’t faze him at all.

  I am trying to focus on something, anything, in the room that isn’t him but when he looks into my eyes like that, I can’t help but lock up. It is almost like he has this Jedi mind control over me.

  “Morning Mr.-I mean, Gabe,” I correct myself as I sit down at the table as far from him as I can manage. This earns me a frown from the other side of the table. I pretend not to notice, I don’t want to encourage any more weird vibes between us.

  “I emailed you your itinerary, the radio show appearances, and concert dates. Stephanie will update your schedule and overnight any files you will need. I want daily check-ins. The interview questions need to be run through with the band before each interview so there are no surprises. You will keep your phone with you at all times and I expect full reports in my inbox first thing Monday mornings. Any press releases will still need to have my approval. Other than that, this is your project. If you need anything, day or night, call me.”

  I nod my head and move the food around on my plate, not really eating it. His faith in me is terrifying. There is so
much riding on me doing this the right way; I still don’t think I am the right person for the job. I don’t want to disappoint him or the band…or my father. I want to prove I can do this but I have my doubts that I am ready to take this on so soon.

  “What’s the matter Emma?”

  “Why do you think I can do this, now? I mean, what changed your mind about me?”

  Gabe pushes his plate away from him and places his elbows on the table; his hands laced in front of his mouth. He just stares at me for a few moments before crossing his arms across his chest and speaking. I can see every muscle in his arm flexing as he tightens his grip on his hands. His eyes are intensely watching me. I put my head down to move some of my eggs around before dropping the fork on my plate and sitting back in my chair. The silence is deafening.

  I look over toward the large glass doors to the balcony; I don’t want to look at him because if I do I am afraid of what I will see. I am afraid that he is just doing this to see me choke. I can’t take that kind of failure.

  “Emma, you CAN do this,” Gabe pauses until I look at him. When our eyes lock he levels me with his glare. Looking directly into my eyes, as if he is looking into a deep part of my soul that holds all my secrets. I can’t explain the way that makes me feel. Safe maybe? Protected? I shake my head and fiddle with the napkin in my hand. His voice gets louder to bring my attention back to him.

  “I know you can. You have done a great job so far and…” he looks away for a moment, his face hardens as if he is having an eternal battle with himself. “I just know you’re ready. If you need anything call me. I will be there to support you 100%. Whatever you need.” He is so confident in me. Why? I don’t get it. How can he be so sure I can do this when just a few weeks ago he was so sure I couldn’t?

  My father has assured me since day one that Gabe is the best, and if he thinks I am ready then I will take him at his word. What’s the worst that can happen? I completely screw up and ruin the bands reputation causing them to lose their contract and be washed up before they get to make it big. Sure, that’s all. It’s only the rest of their lives that is being placed in my hands. No big deal. Oh god! I am going to need a lot of Valium to get through this tour in one piece.

  I nod my head and start eating, smiling around my fork as I place a bite of egg into my mouth. I can feel Gabe watching me from across the table. When I lift my head, I am gazing back into his hooded brown eyes, which are melting my cornflower blue from the heat behind them. My fork falls from my hand and clatters loudly on the plate.. After picking up my fork the last thing I see of Mr. Gabe Hernandez is his back before he slams his bedroom door shut.

  After breakfast and a really uncomfortable good-bye with Gabe, I climb into my new home for the next month. The bus is just as I remember it. It doesn’t look like there is anyone else here yet, except for Rocco, who is lounging on a chair tapping on his phone. When he sees me he smiles and takes my suitcase to the back of the bus without hesitation. I follow him back to the bedroom and put my laptop case and purse on the bed.

  “Welcome home,” he chuckles, his low voice rumbling through his broad chest.

  Rocco is a good guy. He is the oldest of the group and definitely the biggest. He is bulky without having too much definition in his muscles. His tattoos span down his arms and across his chest with a colorful scene on his back. I have never really seen his piece up close to make out what it is exactly. His dark brown hair is usually pulled back with a few strays always managing to slip out of his hair tie and falling over his face. But today his mop of hair is hanging around his face in neat layers that fall just past his shoulders. He is a goodlooking guy in his own right. Not my style, but girls seem to flock to him. He has always been respectful of me and even convinced the rest of the band that it might be good to have a girl on the bus, to keep them on their toes and their manners in check.

  When Dominic broke the news to them at dinner on Wednesday night they were not particularly pleased with the idea. Justin spoke up first and said that the band didn’t need relationship drama right now. Chris agreed and Dominic didn’t argue, he just sat there with downturned eyes and gently rubbed the back of my hand under the table. It was Rocco who was in my corner, setting them straight, and I am grateful for that. Dominic may be the leader of this crew but Rocco is clearly the one with the pull. Perhaps being the oldest, the guys look up to him.

  In any case, it was my promise to keep them well fed that sealed the deal. I even went grocery shopping yesterday and stocked the pantry and fridge with something other then beer and chips. The kitchen on the bus is small but it will have to do.

  “Thanks. And thanks again for helping me with the rest of them. I know it isn’t going to be easy for you all to have me tagging along. I will try to stay out of the way.”

  “Don’t worry about them. They don’t know you yet, that’s all. Dominic isn’t like the rest of us. He doesn’t party like we do. He isolates himself too much sometimes, so it will be good for him to have you here. It gets lonely out here on the road and if we can have a home cooked meal, and a pretty girl to look at, then what the hell. Besides you are good for music. He wrote that song for you in a day, and it’s a hit. So in some way, we all owe you some gratitude for being his muse.” Rocco flashes me a toothy grin and a wink.

  Now it’s my turn to laugh. I am hardly anyone’s muse. “Thanks. I will try to stay out of your way all the same.”

  Rocco rolls his eyes and shakes his head before leaving the room. I close the door and attempt to ponder what happened in the suite with Gabe before I left. I don’t know why he is acting so weird around me lately. When I was collecting my stuff, Gabe was standing by the door leaning against the wall like he wanted to talk to me but when I approached him he just put his head down and wished me luck before opening the door. When I got to the elevator I turned back, because I could feel his eyes on me-I can always feel his eyes on me; he was leaning against the doorjamb watching me with a tortured expression on his face. I wanted to ask him if there was a problem, but I didn’t. I don’t want there to be any more weirdness between us.

  The muffled voices coming from the front of the bus break me from my reverie. I take a deep cleansing breath and step toward the door that separates me from my man. When I grip the small handle, the flimsy door opens with Dominic on the other side, grinning like a fool. Even after he closes the door behind him his expression doesn’t change.

  “What?” I laugh shyly.

  “I was just remembering the last time we were in here alone.”

  “Were you now?” I murmur as he hugs me and nuzzles his face into my neck.

  “Yup. Your naked ass on my bed gave me some pretty sweet dreams,” he answers kissing behind my ear, sending a shot of shivers down my body.

  “Ditto.” Before he gets me all worked up, I slip out from his grasp and grab my suitcase. “Where do you want me to put my stuff?”

  “Most of it will have to stay in your suitcase but anything you need hung up can go in the closet. You can keep your suitcase it there too.”

  When I walk over to the closet, Dominic jumps from the bed in a panic and holds it closed while my hand is still on the handle.

  “Um…why don’t you do that later,” he mumbles. His eyes are wide. He is acting weird and jittery.

  “Why? I want to unpack before my stuff gets wrinkled.”

  “Give me what you need to put in the closet and I can do it for you,” he says as he slips his body between the closet and me.

  He’s acting very odd. He doesn’t want me to see something in there. What could he possibly have in there that he wouldn’t want me to see? Dirty underwear? Dead bodies? Crazed fans? Now, I am curious. I will get into that closet. One way or the other.

  “Fine. I guess it can wait. So where were we?” I pull him to me and walk backwards toward the bed, which in this small space, is only two feet away. I spin him around and push him down, so he falls on his back. I lift up his shirt and kiss his stomach and chest, paying
close attention to the nipple piercings that are back in place. He moans into the quiet room while his fingers tangle in my hair. I feel him growing between us. My mouth kisses and licks every ripple and plane on his torso as I unbuckle his belt and undo his pants. He lifts his hips slightly so I can pull down his pants and boxers to reveal what I am searching for. He is completely exposed and standing at attention, like a good little soldier. I swirl my tongue down his shaft starting with the tip and ending as close to the base as I can take him. He flexes his hips in appreciation and as I peak through my lashes I can see he has let his guard down.

  I am not sure what is in that damn closet but I am going to find out. When I pull my mouth back up to his tip he moans again, causing me to smile around him. Before Dominic can mentally register what is happening I hop off the bed, open the closet door, and nearly fall over at the sight before me.

  “Emma! NO! Don’t!” He jumps up but it’s too late. I have already seen it. He tucks himself back into his pants while I stare at the closet door with my mouth open in shock. When I turn my head in his direction, he is flopped back on the bed with his arms draped over his face, completely embarrassed.

  I take a step closer and look at the back of the closet door in complete admiration. He has a picture of us at the concert in New York, taped to the door. A piece of yellow notebook paper, which he must have wrote the original version of, Sweetness, on hanging below it. Both pairs of my panties that he stole from me, tacked below the notebook paper, and a picture of me standing in Central Park wearing the yellow dress I wore on our first date. He must have taken it when I was waiting for him.

  That is so romantic.

  He kept things that remind him of me. I don’t get why he wouldn’t want me to see it. Granted, if I didn’t know he loved me, this would be creepy in a stalker type of way, and I would probably hop off this bus and take my chances hitchhiking home. But he does love me; I am delighted that he did this. I walk over toward the bed and hop up on my knees next to him. I peel his arms away from his face and smile down at him. His face is a bright shade of red; he still doesn’t open his eyes to look at me. He is clearly uncomfortable I saw it.