Sweetness

by S Gonzalez

  As he said the last part my eyes flew up to meet his, growing wider with each passing second. I know what Glen is capable of. If he raped Julie to the point where she is scared to talk, then his mental abuse is at play here also. He has a way about him that can scare the living shit out of you. You can see the devil in his eyes when he is angry and I know first hand that it is frightening when that happens.

  When I don’t say anything Justin face transforms from anger to shock. Salty tears blur my vision. Something clicks. I don’t know what he thinks he knows but something tells me he gets it. My reaction to the word ‘rape’ clearly gave it away. When he sits back up on the bed to hug me tight, I can’t stop the tears from falling.

  “Shhh. Emma. It’s okay. I’m sorry I pushed you,” he coos while rubbing my back. “That’s it isn’t it. That’s how he hurt you.”

  Without thinking I nod in agreement.

  “Fucking bastard.” He quietly growls.

  Realizing what I have just revealed, I tense under his touch and shoot to my feet in a panic. I pace in front of him not knowing what he will do with this new information. Will he tell Dominic? He is his friend first. Why would he keep a secret from him for me?

  He can’t tell him. He just can’t.

  “Justin you can’t say anything. Please, you can’t tell Dominic. You can’t tell anyone. He will leave me if you tell him,” I beg.

  Justin stands and hugs me again. “Emma, calm down. I won’t tell anyone. Although, I don’t think you give Dominic enough credit. I think if he knew, he would protect you from that cocksucker, not leave.” I shake my head ferociously and pulled away.

  “Justin please, I don’t want him to know. What Glen did-the night he pulled me out of the bar, the last time I saw Dominic-it was terrible.” I swallow hard. “If Dominic finds out, he will know how damaged I am. He will never want anything to do with me. He’ll never look at me the same way again. That is just something I can’t take. He loves me. By the grace of God he thinks I am this wonderful person, and for reasons I will never understand, he actually loves me.”

  “So Glen IS dangerous. The night he dragged you out of the bar he…he hurt you?” I nod. “He knew you had feelings for Dom. And the way Dom used to talk about you, Glen knew Dom had feelings for you, too. But Glen kept quiet about it. Never said a word that he even knew who you were. Glen knew this whole time-Emma, this is fucked up.”

  “I know. I know exactly how fucked up this is. You don’t know the half of it. Look, I don’t want to talk about this anymore here. I don’t want Dom to know about any of this. I will talk to Julie and see what I can find out. If we can put Glen behind bars then we will all be safer.”

  “Fine, but we are not done talking about this. I still want to know just how far his depravity goes. I don’t want him around her and I don’t want him anywhere near you. I will keep this from Dom. For now. But eventually, you will have to tell him, you know that don’t you? No matter what you tell him, he will still love you.”

  “I know eventually I’ll have to tell him, but I can’t right now. I’m scared. He tells me he loves me. No one has ever loved me like this before. If he walked away now it would kill me, Justin. I can’t imagine my life without him in it.”

  “I understand. I know he feels the same way. He’s told me as much. When you’re ready to tell him, we can do it together. You don’t have to do it alone. He will understand, Emma. I know he will. You didn’t do anything wrong. Dominic loves you, he would never turn his back on you.”

  I nod my head just as a soft knock on the door reminds us we are not alone on this bus, so we will need to curb this until a later time. Dominic opens the door slightly and pokes his head in. My fake smile is enough of an all clear for him to open the door wider.

  “You two okay?”

  “Yea baby, we’re fine,” I reassure him as I wrap my arms around waist. Justin nods without a word more being said, and leaves the room, closing the door behind him. “I am really tired. I’m gonna’ go to bed. Are you going to join me or stay up?”

  “I’ll join you. There is no place I would rather be right now then in that bed with you next to me.”

  I smile and kiss Dominic on his lips tenderly; he cups my cheeks and holds me in place as his tongue grazes my bottom lip. My lips part, allowing him to intensify our kiss while he drags me over to the bed. When we pull apart I slip under the covers and watch him take the rest of his clothes off before turning off the light. We snuggle so close that our noses are touching while we breathe each other’s air. In the darkness, with nothing more then the passing headlights illuminating the room, we stare into each other’s eyes with love in our hearts and unspoken words on our minds. Not a word is said as we caress each other to sleep.

  Buzzing! Buzzing getting louder. What the hell is buzzing? I reach over to the nightstand and grab for my phone. I have three missed calls, all from Gabe. What time is it? I look at my phone to see it is seven in the morning. Why would he be calling at seven in the morning unless it is an emergency? While I contemplate his reasons for calling, my phone vibrates in my hand.

  “Answer the damn phone, Emma,” Dominic grumbles, turning over and taking the covers with him.

  “Hello,” I whisper.

  “Emma, good morning. I finally got you. Late night last night?”

  “No. Not at all. I had my phone on vibrate. Its only seven in the morning here, is something the matter? Is it my father?”

  Dominic flips back over at mention my father, concern stamped on his sleepy face. He sits up and leans in so he can hear Gabe better.

  “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t even think of the time difference. Nothing’s wrong. Your father is fine.” I take a sigh of relief and Dominic falls back on the bed, pulling the covers over his head to block out the early morning sunlight. “I just wanted to congratulate you. I heard last night went very well. The label had nothing but good things to say about you. I told you, you could handle this.”

  I swing my legs off the bed and walk into the bathroom to get some privacy, and not wake anyone else. It is still early and these guys are not necessarily up with the chickens.

  “Thank you. Were you checking up on me? How do you know how last night went?” I question. If he is so confident in my abilities to handle this then why is he checking up on me?

  “Not at all. Although, I will be checking up on you from time to time, so don’t be so surprised when I do. Anyway, I got a phone call about an hour ago, from the record label, telling me what a great help you were at the after party last night. Evidently they have taken a liking to you. You handled the press and the paparazzi with confidence and I am told you are very charming. I knew it all along but they had some concerns when I told them I was handing over this project to fresh meat. You don’t have much experience and they were worried you wouldn’t be able to handle yourself appropriately, especially since you are dating Mr. Ross.” I can hear the pride in his voice and it makes me smile, until he mentions me dating the lead singer. His voice traveled off at that point like he doesn’t want to say the words out loud.

  “Oh. Well, thank you. I am glad you are pleased. I just want to do a good job so it’s nice to hear I am on the right path.”

  “You have definitely pleased me…I mean…” Gabe clears his throat. It is nice to hear him fumbling over his words for once instead of the other way around. “You are doing well. Listen I have to go. I will talk to you soon,” he says in a rush before the line goes dead.

  My, my, my. Gabe Hernandez, flustered. This is a treat.

  I use the bathroom then walk back to the bedroom where warm arms wrap around me as I climb back into bed. After a very stressful night I was so tired I must have just passed out soon after my head hit the pillow. I am more than happy to lay here in bed with the man I love but my mind is wide-awake.

  My conversation with Justin runs through my head. I know Dominic loves me but I just don’t know if he will be able to live with the knowledge of what Glen did to me. I know once I
tell him he will ask questions until he knows it all; all of the torture and pain he put me through for those two years. Justin is so sure that me telling Dominic the truth won’t matter to him, but I’m not. Dominic has told me he loves me and wants to marry me. Am I ready for something like that? Could I marry him and could we live normal lives without living in fear of Glen being a constant black shadow? Not to mention the fact that this is all moving way too fast.

  If we are ever going to have a chance at making it, we have to be honest with each other. We promised that from day one. Lying by omission is still lying. I don’t want to lie to him but I am not ready to tell him yet. I will tell him, just not yet. I don’t want to ruin this promo tour and I don’t want us to spend our time together worrying about Glen Maser.

  “You’re thinking too hard. I can feel it.”

  “What?” I chuckle. Dominic opens one eye to look at me and it makes me laugh harder.

  “I can always feel when you are worried. Call it a sixth sense,” he says while he pulls my body closer to his. I can feel his hardness on my thigh and it inspires me to let my fingers explore. “What did Gabe want?”

  “He just wanted to tell me how awesome I am.”

  “Did he now? And why would he call you so damn early to tell you that?” I slip one finger into the waistband of his boxers and run it along his stomach and around to his back over and over again while he talks.

  “He forgot about the time difference. But he wanted to let me know that I did well last night. Your record label called him first thing this morning to preach my praises and he wanted to let me know that he is proud of me.”

  Dominic rolls on top of me. I can feel his hard rod between my legs and the mischief gleams in his eyes before his lips find my neck. I slide my hands over his broad shoulders and around to his back tracing the flexing muscles with my fingertips. His hand slides under my shirt but stops right below the swell of my breast. His whole palm is on my rib cage. I am eager for him to move his hand up a little further, but he won’t. I arch my back to encourage him but he doesn’t move his hand while he continues to kiss my neck.

  “He’s proud of you, huh,” he murmurs against my skin. I roll my eyes at his comment and lay my hands back on the bed in frustration. He pulls back instantly but doesn’t say anything. His eyes narrow with lust and jealousy. Here we go again with the jealousy.

  “Yes, Dominic he is. He is my boss. Like it or not, his approval means a lot to me. My father has trusted him to run his company and that means I will be working with him for a long time. Is that going to be a problem for you?” I don’t even try to hide my annoyance. He has to understand how important my career is for me. I am out here helping him live his dream and all I ask in return is to not get shit while I do my job.

  “As a matter of fact, it is a problem for me. I see how he looks at you, Emma. He wants you and I’ll be damned if he is going to get you.”

  He has got to be kidding me. There is no way in hell that Gabe Hernandez wants me. He just started tolerating me for Christ sake. He may torment me to make me uncomfortable but that is just because he is trying to see how much I can handle under pressure. Right?

  “Seriously,” I scoff and try to push him off of me. He is much stronger then I am so he doesn’t budge. I drop my arms in defeat and focus on a small spot on the ceiling instead of the exasperating man hovering above me. “Gabe doesn’t want me. You are being ridiculous. I have explained what happened when you saw us in, Miami, and I have apologized for the way it looked. What more do you want me to do?”

  “I want you to open your eyes and realize that he wants you. I see the way he looks at you when you are not paying attention, and it pisses me off. If HMA wasn’t doing all this promo shit for us I would have knocked him out when he was watching us by the pool in Miami.”

  “Is that why you pinned me against the wall and started touching me? You wanted to stake claim on me?” Dominic doesn’t say anything but his cocky expression tells me I am right. “Get. Off. Me.”

  “No, listen to me. You are my girl. Mine. If I can’t beat the shit out of him for the way he looks at you, I am going to show him he doesn’t have a chance in hell of getting you. I don’t like it that I was away from you for a month and you spent five days a week, or more, at his back and call. I don’t like that you shared a suite with him while people at the hotel thought you were his wife. And I really don’t like what I saw in the club in Miami when I arrived. Not because of what I saw you do, but because of the way I saw him react. He liked you touching him, Emma. I saw it in his eyes. He can’t have you, he needs to get that.”

  Dominic climbs off of me and sits on the side of the bed looking out the window. I think he is being ridiculous. If Gabe wanted me I would know. I am not an expert on men but I would like to think I would be able to figure out if a man was interested in me. I sit on my knees behind him, wrap my arms around his neck, and put my chin on his shoulder.

  “Babe, I think you’re wrong. If Gabe really wanted me then why would he allow me to leave with you? If he wanted to get me alone with him, he would have taken me back to New York, far away from you. But he didn’t. He let me join you because he thinks I can do this. I was the one that was reluctant on coming along.” Dominic twists his body around on the bed. “Not because I didn’t want to, but because I didn’t think I could handle this. Gabe reassured me I could. When he got the call this morning, confirming I did well last night, he just wanted to tell me.”

  He takes a deep cleansing breath and drops his forehead to my shoulder. “Fine. I’m sorry I overreacted. I just…I love you so much, Emma. You are so beautiful and when guys look at you like that, I lose control. I can’t stand the thought of another man touching you the way I do.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that. I love you, and only you. I don’t want anyone else.” I wrap my fingers around the nape of his neck and pull him closer so his forehead is pressed against mine. “Just you and me.”

  “Always?”

  “Always.” I know that’s what he needs to hear, right now. He is very insecure. The more we get to know each other the more I see it. He is always so confident on stage and in life, but when it comes to me, he lets his guard down and his shortcomings come spilling out. Not that he has many of them. “Now, lets get back to bed. It is too damn early to be up.”

  “Now you’re talking,” he says with that same devilish smile he had before. I giggle and slide up the bed and under the covers. Dominic joins me and takes over where he left off. For the next many hours we make silly, lazy love and lie in bed, enjoying each other’s company while the bus gently rocks us back to sleep.

  Monday morning 5 a.m., my alarm goes off. I shoot up and look out the window to make sure we are parked in the studio parking lot. I need to get up to take a shower before the boys are able to get in the bathroom. When I step out of the bedroom I see Chris sitting at the kitchen table, dressed and ready to go.

  “Well, good morning sunshine. What are you doing up?”

  “I just want to make sure I am ready to go once its time,” he says nervously, his knee bouncing up and down while he tries to act calm. “I don’t want to be late or anything.”

  “Chris are you okay? You look nervous,” I inquire then bite my lip to stifle a smile. I can’t help but find it amusing that he can walk onto stage in front of hundreds of people and not blink an eye, but a television interview has him thrown. More then thrown, shitting in his pants.

  “Don’t laugh at me Emma. I am freaking the fuck out. What if they ask me a question? I am not good at talking to people. Dom and Justin do all that shit. I just want to play music. What if I stutter or something? A lot of people are going to see it. Shit like that tends to stick with a guy, ya’ know. If I screw up, these fuckers are never going to let me live it down.”

  I sit next to Chris and place my hand on his knee to prevent him from stomping through the damn floor. “Chris, you will be fine. We went over the questions they are going to ask you
, yesterday. Remember?”

  Chris nods.

  “Good. Just stick to what we discussed and if they ask you something else, just answer as honestly as possible. If you get stuck, look over at me. I will be right off to the side. I will help you as much as I can.

  He eyes me wearily, unsure if I am telling him the truth. “Do you promise? You’ll be close?”

  “Yes. I promise. Just relax and eat something before you leave,” I insist before I step away from the table, toward the bathroom. These boys really are a bunch of grown children sometimes.

  “Emma.”

  “Yeah.” I turn back to Chris.

  “I’m glad you’re here. We all are. In case you didn’t know, we kind of consider you one of us now.”

  I smile at his statement and he blushes before turning his head to look out the window at the chaos that is ensuing near the studio. I go into the bathroom to get ready for my day. When I look at myself in the mirror I smile. A real, genuine smile. Because for the first time ever, I feel like I’m part of a real family.

  They guys can just throw on clothes because hair and makeup people will get them ready. Me, on the other hand, I am left to primp myself.

  After a half-hour of getting myself all dolled up I step out into the main galley and see they are reluctantly awake, thanks to Chris. Rocco is slumped on the couch, Dominic and Justin are drinking coffee at the kitchen table, and Chris is pacing as he looks out the windows.

  “Ready boys? You have to get pretty before the world can see you.”

  “I am pretty enough,” Justin remarks with his signature cocky grin that makes the girls drop their panties.

  “That look doesn’t work on me, so save it for the cameras,” I tease and Dominic slaps his best friend upside the head before wrapping his arms around me.