Sweetness

by S Gonzalez

  “Asshole.” Justin grumbles.

  Giving me a loud, wet kiss on the mouth, Dominic flips off Justin but doesn’t close his eyes in fear of retaliation.

  Men! Or should I say, boys.

  We all file out of the bus and are met at the door by a short, stubby man wearing an earpiece. The midtwenties looking guy introduces himself as Charles, the producer’s assistant. Charles escorts us inside and shows the band where they need to get ready. They have makeup artists and hairstylists working on them one at a time, each griping about wearing makeup saying something about being emo douchbags. When they get to Rocco he begrudgingly agrees allow a little makeup, but stands firm on, no eyeliner. As we go over the questions the hosts will ask, I see what convinced him. A busty blond is bending over, giving him a clear shot down her low cut top in the front, and the money shot of her ass poking out of her too short skirt in the mirror behind her. I snap my fingers and point to the mirror to suggest she use caution when bending. She smiles at Rocco and resumes her position as Chris joins in on the bimbo watching.

  I need them to focus. This is their first TV appearance and although it should be a piece of cake, I don’t want anything screwed up. There will be a very short interview after they perform their single, Sweetness. There aren’t any questions specifically directed at Chris. Once I get a second to break away I make sure he knows that. He seems a little more relaxed now and before we know it, its time for them to go on. This should be a breeze. There are only about 100 people in the audience, plus the crew, so this should be a piece of cake for them.

  The guys walk on the set during one of the commercial breaks. They ready their instruments and take their positions before the bleach blond talk show host named Veronica introduces them. I see Chris staring into the camera, frozen. I quickly and quietly take off my heals, so I don’t make any noise on the live set. Then take position next to the camera, giving him a reassuring nod. Chris sees me and snaps out of it. Once he finds his place in the song, he begins to play.

  Crisis diverted.

  After a few minutes the guys finish the song. The audience applauds like crazy before the show goes to commercial. Justin and Dominic walk confidently toward the stools located next to the stage; Rocco and Chris follow. Chris looks nervously over to me. I give him a thumbs up and make a funny face, forcing a smile to twitch on his lips.

  After the commercial break the talk show hosts take turns asking the band the prescribed questions that I gave them. Where are you from? What age did you start playing? Where did you all meet? Same standard boring questions they have answered a hundred times before. Right before the interview ends Veronica looks at Chris and asks him a question off the top of her head.

  “So Chris, you seem to be the quiet one in the group. We know Dominic has a special girl. And Justin and Rocco are notorious for loving all the ladies, but what about you. Anyone special in your life?”

  Shit!

  His face pales and he freezes. I can see a sheen of sweat forming on his forehead as the silent seconds tic by. He looks over to me for an answer. I shake my head and mouth the word ‘no’ to give him the answer.

  He looks back at the host and says nervously, “I like girls.”

  Seriously?! What the hell kind of an answer is that? I can tell as soon as it flowed out of his mouth he instantly regretted saying it. This is his worst fear come true. This is the one thing he was afraid would happen.

  Oh no. The guys are never, ever, going to let him forget this.

  Veronica giggles and the guys snort in unison, trying to stifle their laughter. Chris’s face turns bright red and he hangs his head as the camera pans back over to the hosts and goes to another commercial break. I slip on my shoes and give Chris an apologetic smile, but I am hysterically laughing on the inside. I can tell the guys are ready to jump all over him. I shoot them a warning glare and shake my head so they know I mean business.

  When we reach the studio door I catch up with Chris and grab his hand so he will slow down and look at me. Justin busts out into a fit of hysterical laughter behind us and Dominic tries to control himself but fails miserably. Chris calls them all assholes and storms off toward the bus. When the studio doors close Rocco looses it and joins Dominic and Justin in their fits of laughter. While trying to hold back my own laughter I explain to them that Chris was very nervous and they should be more understanding.

  “Emma, come on. That shit was epic. You can’t create comedy like that,” Justin laughs.

  Yeah, they aren’t going to go easy on him.

  “Sorry baby, but you have to admit it was funny,” Dominic adds.

  “I get it. It was funny. I am not denying that. But he is humiliated and you are supposed to be his friends.”

  “This is us being his friends. This is what guys do,” Rocco insists. “We tease each other for acting like a tool and move on.”

  “Whatever. I am going to check on him.”

  When I enter the bus, Chris is sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Poor guy is mortified. “Chris.”

  “I knew this would happen. I told you this would happen.”

  “Chris, I shook my head. Why didn’t you just say, no?”

  “Fuck…I don’t know. I froze. I just said the first thing that came to mind,” he shouts and points out the window. “They are never going to let me live this down. They are going to ride me about this forever.”

  “No they won’t. It’s not as bad as it seems. I’m sure, very soon, you will be able to laugh at this with them.”

  I hear the bus doors open then the sound of footsteps walking up the stairs. Chris and I watch Rocco, Dominic, and Justin walk in with their heads down trying to keep straight faces. I know they are trying very hard but their expressions are making it hard to keep my own laughter at bay. When a small snort slips out the guys all bust out into another fit of laughing. Chris just shakes his head and tries to be mad, but he can’t. He starts laughing with them while they all jump on him one at a time. He playfully fights them off, calling them, jerkoffs, in the process. And people say women’s moods are unpredictable.

  “I have to go get my sister from the airport. Anyone want to come with?” Justin asks after the dog pile commences.

  No one answers. I look at each of them as they quietly look at anything but Justin.

  “I’ll go with you,” I volunteer. Dominic eyes shoot in my direction.

  “Emma, you sure?” Justin inquires.

  “Yeah. I’d love to meet your sister. Besides, maybe we can find a tattoo shop and get that piercing on the way back.”

  “NO WAY!” Dominic yells. “Justin, she better not come back inked or pierced. In fact, I’ll go too.”

  As I walk past Justin, I whisper, “I knew that would get him to come with us.”

  Justin smiles and flashes a wink before I turn toward the bedroom. When I reach the door I hear Dominick yell down the short hallway, “What was that?”

  “Nothing, dear. I am going to change. I will be right out.”

  “What did you say, Emma?” He yells again. “What is she plotting, Justin? You better not take her to get anything pierced.”

  Justin is making me nervous with all the pacing. He has checked on her flight schedule, talked to the ticket agent, and walked up and down the hall a dozen times. He’s nervous about his sister coming here. I get it, but if he doesn’t calm down then he is only going to make her nervous too. I have to admit I am very anxious to meet Julie myself. I don’t know what she looks but I am eager to find out what Glen sees in her that brings out his demons. Maybe she looks like me, or acts like me. I need to know why he is doing this as much as Justin does.

  Justin stills mid stride. Dominic pulls me under his arm protectively. It takes me a second to follow his eye line to a petite brunette walking toward us. Justin makes a mad dash to the girl I hope is Julie. When he wraps his arms around her, her body shakes as she cries into her brother’s shoulder. He holds her at arms length and runs a finger over her chee
k to examine her face before pulling her back into an embrace.

  My heart brakes for them both. I know what Glen is capable of more than anyone. Dealing with the physical pain is the easy part. That is the pain that goes away in time. That’s the pain you wish for. It’s the emotional pain that keeps you from sleeping at night. It’s the emotional pain that changes you into someone harder. Someone that you don’t necessarily want to be, but someone you need to be to keep on moving. That’s what bastards like Glen take from you; innocence.

  As she walks closer I take inventory of her appearance. Even through her big, Jackie O type sunglasses, I can see her tears. She is a few inches shorter than Justin and she has a petite frame. Her shoulder length, light brown hair is pinned up on one side. She is wearing long sleeves and long pants even though it’s summertime, probably to cover the bruises Glen left. Justin takes his sisters hand and walks toward us. I see Julie and Dominic smile at each other before she wraps her petite arms around him.

  Watching how careful Justin and Dominic are with her, makes me wish I had the strength to talk to someone about my abuse at the time. Maybe if I had someone like them to help me, it wouldn’t have gotten so bad.

  “There’s my favorite Sheila.” Dominic pulls away and kisses her on the cheek.

  “Look, its my favorite whacker,” Julie giggles. I notice right away that her accent is much more pronounced then Justin’s’.

  “Julie, I’d like you to meet the love of my life, Emma Hill. Emma, this is, Julie Anderson.”

  Her smile fades when she flicks her face in my direction. Although she has on sunglasses, I can see a purple bruise on her upper cheek trailing up toward her temple. I give her a sad smile and extend my hand but she doesn’t take it. Instead she tugs nervously on her shirtsleeves and looks away. Sensing her hesitation Justin wraps an arm around her shoulder and pulls her away from me. I am very uncomfortable being around the woman that my stepbrother beat up and raped but I am willing to try and be her friend while she is with us. We are going to be stuck on a bus together so making the best of this situation is in everyone’s best interest. Something tells me she is not going to be as cooperative. So I guess it will be up to me to do my best to make this a drama free zone. Her scars are fresh. It will take her some time to warm up to people and trust. Hopefully she realizes that she is not in this battle alone, for her own sake.

  Dominic grabs my hand and we follow Justin and Julie out to the car. Ryan holds the door open for us but in an act of selflessness, I move around him to open the passenger side door. I don’t want to make Julie feel any more uncomfortable, so I’ll keep my distance, for now. Dominic gives me a curt nod and kisses my hand before closing my door and climbing in the back with his friends. When I reach behind me to grab my seatbelt Justin puts his hand on mine and shoots me a grateful smile. I don’t want him or Dominic to worry about me. They need to focus on helping Julie. That’s why she’s here. I bet it doesn’t help her to be in the same car as her attackers family but that is the hand we’ve been dealt.

  The drive back to the bus is quiet. I lay my head on the window and watch the city pass by around me as the Dom, Julie, and Justin catch up. The tension in the car is awkward, due to Julie’s snarkyness toward anything involving me. It makes me feel as if Julie is going to cause trouble at every turn, mostly because Julie decides to bring up subjects like Dom’s ex girlfriends, or some remember when moments that solidifies that he had a life before me. It doesn’t bother me as much as she thinks, but if a simple car ride is difficult, how the hell are we going to get through the next few weeks together. Especially with the black cloud of Glen Maser hanging over us. Julie has made it clear that she is not going to make this easy…for anyone.

  The past week on this bus has been tense to say the least. The guys have all made Julie feel very welcome and I have tried to be nice to her; I swear I have, but she is making this very complicated. She shoots me dirty looks when no one else is looking, she is cold and snarky when I do try to talk to her, and she blatantly flirts with Dominic right in front of me. I have locked myself away more then usual and worked twice as much to stay out of her way, but something is going to snap in me soon. There is only so much of her crap I am willing to take. Even though she doesn’t know it, we are both in the same boat when it comes to Glen Maser so it isn’t going to be much longer before I tell this bitch to lighten the up on me.

  We are parked outside an arena on a Thursday afternoon and since we made good time and got here a whole day early the guys have ventured off on their own for a few hours; leaving Julie and me on the bus…alone. After about three hours I am still working at the kitchen table on press releases and updating the band’s social media sites. It is a hot summer day and the bus door and windows are open because the air conditioner can’t be on if the bus is off. Julie hops off her bunk and walks into the kitchen area throwing open the fridge door and grabbing a bottle of water before plopping herself on the couch.

  I pay her no mind. That doesn’t seem to settle well with her.

  “So what exactly do you do, Emma.” The way she asks the question has a condescending undertone.

  “Well, I am responsible for the marketing and promotion of the band, Julie.” It is stifling hot on this bus, I am PMS, and I am not in the mood for her attitude today. The guys aren’t here so if she wants to get into it then I am more than ready. I am not her damn punching bag.

  “Oh yeah. Glen told me your rich daddy got you a sweet job at his company. Must be nice to be the boss’s daughter,” she scoffs while looking at me over the top of her water bottle.

  “Glen doesn’t know shit about me and you know even less so don’t pretend like you do. Yes, I do work for my father’s company but he doesn’t run the company. My boss gave me this assignment because he knew I could handle it. I do a pretty damn good job if I do say so myself,” I defend, through clenched teeth.

  “Yeah, I can hear how good you are at your job,” she says while air quoting around the word job. “These walls are pretty thin…ech.”

  Is this bitch serious? She knows nothing about me. I have been as nice to her as I can stomach. If she wants a standoff, she is going to get one. I lean back in my seat and cross my arms while glaring back at her.

  “What exactly is your problem with me? I have been nothing but nice to you since you got here. You have been a bitch to me since you stepped off that plane.”

  “My problem with you, Princess, is-“ I stand up from the table with my hands clenched into fists at my sides. Just before I make it to where Julie is, she stands up too, looking like she is ready to throw down if I am.

  “Don’t you ever fucking call me that! Do you hear me? You don’t know a goddammed thing about me, so don’t ever, ever call me, Princess, again.” I grit through my teeth while anger pulses through my body. No doubt she got the term, Princess, from Glen. I am sure he filled her head with all kinds of lies, but she has no right to assume she knows what the hell she is talking about.

  I am standing toe to toe with her, my back facing the front of the bus and hers facing the bunks. She has the nerve to sneer at me while my body shakes with adrenalin. Even though we are roughly the same height my anger makes me feel a whole foot taller then her. If she wants a fight, she got one. I have never been in a physical fight with a girl before but there is always a first time for everything.

  “Or what? You’ll hit me. Yeah, your fucked up family is good at that,” she spits back with an angry smile.

  “Again, you don’t know anything about me or my family, so shut the fuck up. You want to keep your mouth shut and let Glen use you as a punching bag than that’s on you. But don’t for one second think that I am anything like that prick.”

  “You’re right. You’re not like him, he is loving and caring and all he ever wanted was to have someone love him; to have his family love him. You and your family tortured him to the point of him breaking. Now I am stuck loving a man who can’t love back. You broke him, all of you.”


  Ho-ly shit. Seriously. Am I in the fucking Twilight Zone here?

  I stumble a step back realizing that this girl is crazier than I thought. He must have really done a number on her sense of reality if she believes the crap that just flowed out of her mouth. Loving and caring? I think we are talking about two very different people. Nervous laughter erupts in my chest and out my mouth in a rush. The harder I laugh the more visibly pissed Julie gets.

  “Wow, he really has you fooled. You are just as delusional as he is. Loving and caring? Those words in the same sentence as Glen’s name are an oxymoron; and you’re just a moron for believing him? Glen Maser has never cared about anyone but himself.”

  “Shut your mouth. You don’t know anything. You may have Dominic and my brother fooled, but you don’t fool me. I know you. I know how you tried to seduce Glen when you were younger, he told me how you would come onto him-“

  “WHAT!!! What the hell did you just say? Is that what he told you? He actually said that?” My body is seething with anger. I can’t focus on anything but the filth that is coming out of her mouth. I can’t believe Glen would lie and say something like that. On second thought, yes I can. I can totally believe he would make up a story like that.

  Deluded freak of nature that he is.

  “Don’t play innocent. He told me how you used to parade around trying to screw him and his friends. How you tried to take advantage of him one night when he was drunk.”

  Her statement, forces every ladylike bone in my body to disappear. My jaw actually hurts from clenching it to tight. Standing nose to nose, I know if she says something ridiculous like that again, I am going to snap.

  “You are out of your, God. Damned. Mind? If you think I would ever let him touch me willingly, you’re just as fucking crazy as he is. I didn’t try and take advantage of him when he was drunk. He got drunk after you broke up with him one night, then came home and raped me. All because he was angry with you! I was a virgin and he raped ME because of YOU. I didn’t seduce him. He raped me, and tortured me for two years. Does that sound like the loving and caring man you know, because if so, you are just as mental as he is,” I yell in a rush not realizing what I just confessed to her. Her eyes widen and focus on something over my shoulder. I whip around and find four very shocked men standing behind me on steps.