Gone By

by Hajong, Beatone

  She looked her at me deeply with anguish cry on her face. She began to feel my real need of her. She raised her left hand slowly and rubbed on my left cheek. My eyes filled with unfolded tears that floated, touched by those hairy lashes of my eyes. I could see her eyes grew red like she was suffering from conjunctivitis. I clipped off from my chair. Shifted little away from me. I held her with my right hand and knelt before her. She was like surprised and the moment of embarrassment sculpted around.

  “What are you doing...you don’t need to do that” she said softly.

  I least bothered about her words. People around the restaurant were watching us very close. “Don’t make me feel embarrass in front of these people at least” she demanded.

  “I understand the prophecy of love. But I beg you not to let go waste the love we have between us. I’m here to wait for you until you start loving me in your own terms. Just give me chance to show myself that I could be the one. And I swear I’d do anything that takes to keep you happy all through my life. Don’t say no.. if that’s the answer then just walk away..I’ll never turn to call you again in my life. Anannya will you be mine forever” kneeling on my knees.

  People around looked at us with their eyes raised. Some said from the back “C’mon he’s the man for you..don’t let him down”. They began to cheer like it was a game show. Anannya stood in silence. She was stuck in her mind, what to burst out from her mouth. Her face startled out in surprise. For minutes she kept herself silence, while the rest of the people stood with their whispers in their mouth. Many insisted to say the word yes, some began to give a sharp look at us. Some gestured with their eyes on me. I was still on my knees holding her hand. Lastly, she grasped me up by my shoulder. I stood stable before her. My gaze at her never tended to diverge away. She finally embraced me, everyone around began to clap. A man shouted “cheers to them”, and all shouted with joy.

  After loosening from the tightly embraced position, she walked off outside the restaurant. I smiled briefly at all those people who accompanied the moment with great enthused. I managed to pay the bill and walked out to catch her up. Anannya was waiting outside.

  As I reached her “That was really awkward” she said.

  “I know..I’m sorry” I said with an apologetic tone.

  “It’s fine. You’re such a daring insane” she smiled out peeking her eyes at me as we walked along the footpath.

  My face gave a brief expression of being jolly. I blinked my eye at her.

  “So, Can I leave now?” I said.

  “Want to leave”.

  “There your boyfriend..he’s coming”.

  She raised her head slightly and looked at him.

  “Alright...will see you soon” she said.

  I left the place and walked off. That day I realized something about her. Though she said, she loved me, but her heart still in bridge to make the concrete decision and act final to it. I knew the fact she was in love with her boyfriend, yet then it was me who was so obsessed about her. And for the record, I had no idea will she ever love me like I do to her. I caught a taxi and headed back to home.

  Life never seemed very smooth but somehow surviving the day today activities that came by. But, most of all it was my Parents who constantly involved me with my academic career. I had to get into some professional college at any cause. But, foremost it was my Father’s wish to get me into Medical. But biology never tackled me well instead I began to dream about Massachusetts Institute of Technology(MIT). Finally, I could choose from my heart the art of engineering was my main motive to pursue in my life. Though I couldn’t make up to MIT, but I managed to get a technical institute in the country. I always dreamt big in my life. Till now I dream big and thinking of going abroad. I always thought the way I wanted things to be done. That year was really a busy year. All of my friends engaged themselves deeply into their studies. Everyone thought of getting into professional colleges so was I among them. Months have passed on, all rushing into tuition classes. All needed to create a seat into any of the entrance exam.

  One day, I stood alone outside the gateway of my tuition teacher. I could remember I was slightly off with my mood. The reason was only silly. I had quarrelled the morning with the neighbour’s son. May be he was more aged than me by few years, but didn’t stop to follow on my theories in bashing him up through my mouth words. I walked through the slope of muddy road and finally came out to concrete road from my tuition class. It began to drizzle slightly. I could see few taxis passing away empty. I thought of pouring hot coffee into my empty stomach before I would leave for home. I walked towards the tea stall that was just selling by the footpath. Anannya waved me her hand bye and left with her boyfriend. I nodded my head and waved her too. Her boyfriend smiled at me and raised his thumps up. I signed him with slow motion of my hand and waved him too. They both left and I was standing with a cup of hot coffee in my hand under those drizzling rain drops that fell on me. It was a street stall. No access of any roof, but all people around had to stand any where it’s corner to take the pleasure of it’s wonderful selling. Who knew what fate had kept for me. I was on one side of the stall, few people on the other side. Gradually, the crew began to grow. And the selling went higher with every demand from the customer. When then a Tata Sumo Grand came up and stopped right in front of the tea stall. The shopkeeper was definitely a man of hard work, who had been earning his livelihood just through this stall.

  Earlier that year there were many riots that took place. All were extremely communalism. The rise of hatred against one another bloomed on everyone’s sentiments. Nothing was stable politically, people began to hate another people from different race or culture. Holding my cup of coffee, I was chilling the drizzles of rain drops that fell on me. A man came out of the car. At first I thought he would demand some eatable from the stall. I was watching that man very keenly. He looked very simple, yet felt something wrong with him. He came right in front of the stall. And stood before the shopkeeper. He said something softly to the shopkeeper which was not understandable. With no warning or any gesture, he took out a gun and shot the shopkeeper. Bullets of two or three penetrated into his body. People around began to scream with fear. All scattered and galloped to save their own lives. Within a second the whole place was deserted, with only the body of shopkeeper laying flat on the ground bleeding dead. The drizzle continued. The man forwarded his steps towards me holding his gun tightly. His forefinger in position to press the trigger. He pointed the gun on my forehead and stood before me. I was a boy of Nineteen years, stood with fear for the first time at gun point.

  “What did you see” he asked.

  What would I say back, I was horrified. The nozzle of the gun touched my forehead.

  “Don’t be a witness or else you die” he warned me.

  I was trembling inside. My legs shook fast, like it never did before. Momentarily, I was dead before my eyes. His finger still on the trigger, with a warn on me. I could just say a word “Yes”. He took off the gun away and ceased it.

  “You better keep mum about the incident” he said again and walked back to the car.

  They drove away as soon as they switched their car. I was all alone, bathing in the tub of bloodshed. The red blood began to spread out. It gradually became less dense as it flowed with the drizzling water that continued to fall. It mixed up with the water and the water turned red, soaked with shopkeeper’s blood. I gathered some courage to take a look at the dead body. That was the first time I saw a real dead body, other than those that comes on television. I was wholly wet by now. The whole area around it got marooned and I was alone standing with the dead body. Just because he was not a local person he was shot to dead. The reason never seemed fair enough to be. Injustice to his soul and I stood helpless with no grip of assistant. I fell on my knee to take a close look of his dead body. By now the body grew heavier and completely soaked with water. Somehow I turned the victim’s body the other side. He was shot directly in his chest where the heart located. Bl
ood stopped to bleed, as it bled as much as it could satisfy the dead. After few minutes later, I could hear siren, approaching closer at the site. From the other end of the road, I could see a police car. It accelerated at the site very quick and stopped. Few constable came rushing to the spot where the victim’s body laid dead. The sub-inspector opened his door and came out from the car. At his first sight he gave a suspicious look at me. The constables wrapped the body and took for examining. Post mortem report were necessary for any investigation. The sub inspector came to my side, where I stood wet.

  “So, what did you witness” he asked. I kept mum, my lips pressed hard.

  “Look, boy there’s nothing to fear..we are here for safety” he said again.

  But I least bothered to answer what he wanted to know. Maybe, the gun point at me still suppressed me with fear. Indeed, I was scared of dying with bullets on my body.

  “I know nothing” my tone absorbed in fear.

  “Get in the car” he ordered me.

  I had nothing to say but to put myself into their custody. The constable took my hand and led me towards their car. The area was silenced to curfew for few hours. They took me to the police station. They began to interrogate me. I was made to sit in a chair , inside a sound proof room. At one side of its room the whole wall was made up of glass. And yes, it was a sound proof glass. And I could see nothing the other side except for my own reflection, but for sure the one from the other could see me well. They asked me all sorts of irrelevant question that were never related to me. They began to victimize me as one of the guilty. I was seated with my hands on the table, before me there was microphone to speak. I could hear the echo of my voice. From the other side, they demanded reply from me. The heat of pressure felt on me. I began to get nervous, whereas my body began to sweat out. I rubbed my face, and settled once again. Should I say them? It haunted in my mind. What if the man who warned me kills me, it induced a fear within. Even if I would be provided with protection or security, someday they’ll find until they shed blood out of my body. I thought of expelling out the truth from my mouth. They kept on interrogating me. Lastly, I confessed them and described the whole scenario about the whole scene that took place. Then they let me out of that isolated room. The inspector came up and said “That’s a like a good boy”.

  They let me go. Before they set me free, the sub inspector handed me hundred rupees “Take this as your reward”.

  I felt the touch of humiliation, but maintained to keep it calm. I took the note from his hand and walked off to home. As I proceeded on, two people were taken under custody. They were brought into the station. I had no idea what must they have done but surely it was not that person who pointed me gun. I hired a taxi and headed back to home. I never thought I would be taken into police custody in my life. That short moment of suspicious interrogation, indeed made me feel guilty about myself. By the time I reached home, the time ticked 7:00pm. I marched straight towards my room. My Dad inquired about me. Though there was some vile expression on my face which went unnoticed. Yet, then he suspiciously glanced at me and went for his other purpose. “Are you ok my boy” Dad shouted from out of my room.

  “Yes! Dad..I’m fine” I added louder.

  I sat on the edge of my bed for seconds and pondered about the bad time I had. But, what floated before my eyes was the dead body which I saw in real for the first time.

  My Dad had a personal working room. It has been months I have never entered to that room, since the last time. He had an unique interest in reading and writing. All the shelves were full of books of several genres. Moreover he was a great lover of music. There’s always some tune goes on whenever he’s into that room. He called me momentarily in his room.

  “C’mon my boy...Come into my room. I need to talk to you” Dad called out.

  “What’s the matter dad...I’m fine” I shouted loudly, so that it could reach beyond the wall that separated the two room between us.

  I had to come to visit him. As I entered his room, a beautiful piece of song was being played. Perhaps, it was one of his favourite. He gave me a chair to sit beside him.

  “Now, tell me what happen today” he began to question me.

  “Nothing Dad....everything is normal” I pretended casual.

  “I heard there’s was a murder”.

  “I know nothing about it”.

  “Look Son, you got to say the truth..were you present there at the scene of crime”.

  Momentarily my breath got lengthen and hissed out.

  “Yeah! I was there...but”.

  Dad interrupted “You know the police came here and told me to be aware about you...now what does that mean?” he said in harsh tone.

  “C’mon Dad I was just standing there with a cup of tea”.

  “You’re not going out for week...do you understand that. Until the situation heads back to normal” he said in louder tone.

  I got out of the chair and walked out of the room in ferocious mood. But that didn’t make my Dad feel anything though. He wanted me to stay safe. I respected all his orders since I was born. As an eldest son of the family, it’s the responsibility to maintain the decorum of the family. I wasn’t sad for stopping me from going out. But what mattered me more was Anannya. Somehow, I needed to let her know about my situation. I knew she would be going to school the next day. The only thing now I could managed to do was to persuade Dad for letting me go to school. But, would he agree to that, I couldn’t predict. But I had to make him agree, with a word of trust not to indulge in any other nuisance other than school activity. He offered me to go to tuition instead of school for a week. I accepted it calmly with no gesture of complaints. So, the next day as usual, I was on my way for tuition class. As I got out of my hired taxi, the very first sight I saw was Anannya standing by the subway. She smiled out from that distance. I waved her hand. Her boyfriend came by then and he too notion me a gesture, unlikely not friendly. They both walked ahead of me. And I walked with my steps slower, just following them. Both never turned to look back. I maintained a silence distance between us. Just a fluke of glance Anannya turned back to look for my presence. We had to walk few metres to reach the tuition class from the main taxi stand. Anyone who would slice to look at me would probably put doubt on me. Cause I looked like a person who had been following a track to victimize those two. But, that wasn’t my motive, as I would confess to myself.

  I kept my steps stable and constant and followed them. As soon as, they reached I was right behind them standing.

  “Hey” said Anannya.

  “Hey” my eyes blinked pleasantly.

  We entered the hall together where the class was being held. Many more students yet to come. Still there were lots of empty seats available. They both sat together. I took the most corner seat, as I was never much attentive like the others. All I could just do was to stay alive with my dreams. That day something new was thought in the class. The teacher began to deliver a lecture about an incident. At first I avoided to pay attention, but as the second turned into minutes it stroke into my ears. He was talking about the man that got killed the last day. Of course the scene where I was presence. My body fumbled and began to listen him carefully. Although he didn’t mention my name, but he was talking about a boy’s presence at the scene of crime. I couldn’t believe how fast the news scattered. Yes behind this idiotic act, of course the hand of media in addition with certain spices mixed with the real story. And most of all the police department hanged out a false forgery on those who were innocent. Of course they charged me, for which my Dad had to abandon me from going to school. My Dad thinks about his reputation too much. He doesn’t want his name to get the flame of dirt by any means just because of me. And I wouldn’t let that happen. A sudden voice called out my name. It was the teacher who was delivering about yesterday’s incident. He asked me to stand. I firmly stood up, every one gazed at me in shallow doubt of something. Anannya looked at me and pressed her lips. I thought my scholar would be inquiring about the i
ncident. My heart beat began to race with slight nervousness.

  “Do you know what’s the composition of gun powder?” he asked.

  Now that was really surprising to all. Some giggled out softly. I too couldn’t control the silly face that glimpse on me, but that was not noticeable. Indeed, no one expected that question from a math teacher. But, it was quiet useful to know. I nodded my head negative.

  “You can sit down” and began to explain its composition. Everything went over head, in fact his explanation went very complex for our brain. But we had to satisfy him showing positive response. Anannya looked back once again. She gestured through her eyes some kind of expression. Even her lips shaped out some words but it was not making sense to me. She turned to look front. I could just pass a brief smile to her. We were over with our class. Every one moved out of the class. Even I added myself in a queue to let myself out. I was half out of the door when then Anannya grabbed my hand and took me to one side.

  “What’s wrong” I said.

  “Were you the boy at the scene of crime” she began to inquire out.

  “No” I thought I could fake.

  “You’re lying to me” she said.

  “You just stay away from this” I said her.

  “I need to know”.

  “You’ve got nothing to do with it” I added.

  “I just want you be safe” her concerning tone again.

  “I’m safe you don’t need to worry about me”.

  “I don’t know how far” she said.

  “Go..he’s waiting for you......do take care” I bid her adieu for the day.

  She looked keenly at me as she walked off. I stood looking at her from that distance. Every time, she walked away I felt the distance between us too short, for I had the ample faith in love. Within a minutes the whole area was left alone. Perhaps I was the last person to finally move from that place. The only rumour that could be heard in everyone’s mouth was the incident story that was narrated in the class. I paid no heap of attention whatever my ears postured into such tale. I scrolled to walk down the subway to catch up a taxi. They were gone by then, else the only thing that struck my mind was, Why Anannya began to think me as an image of convict to something else. I knew she cared about me, it’s not the thing about any irrelevant between us. But, of course where love exist there has to be no minimization of any sort of contradictory things between both. I thought of telling the truth to her. But how, will she believe me if I spoke the real. Perhaps she may fear after that. But I needed to explain it calmly. The next day I thought would tell her in the form of story. I began to ponder it as I sat on a running taxi. Until the next day, my day was not usual. Whereas, the evening I did spent some time in my Dad’s room helping him out in some unknown project as it appeared to me. I was relaxed and chilling the time, no matter what the task was given to me, I could possibly satisfy Dad with the skill of my work. I waited for the next day. I thought about Anannya the whole night. So much in love with her, even though I knew she’s got boyfriend. But, a thing that I learnt, everything thing lies within you and every answers is you. No matter even if she’s got boyfriend, at most I just wanted to tell her all my feelings and emotions about her. And the care that I want to give her.