The Rennillia Series: Volumes 1-5

by M. Sembera

  I didn’t mind that Hert had to miss this appointment. It meant that he would be off for the ultrasound.

  Emerson drove me to the doctor’s office and asked, “Are you sure you don’t want me to come in with you?”

  Smiling at him I replied, “No it should go pretty quick, thank you, though.”

  I couldn’t wait for Em to open the door for me I hopped out and pranced inside. Finally feeling like I belonged, I now had a little round belly that seemed to grow larger every day. Quickly signing myself in, I turned to find a seat. I sat down in the group of chairs by the door leading to the exam rooms.

  Thinking about our visit last week to see Hert’s mother, I could have sworn she was going to smile when we were talking about the baby. Her face was still emotionless, most likely from the sedatives. I was determined to get an expression out of that lady when I showed her the first picture of her grandkid. I heard the nurse call my name and I walked to the back. In the examination room, I waited on my doctor. A few minutes later a nurse came in took my blood pressure and checked my baby’s heartbeat.

  She smiled and informed, “Everything looks good. Doctor Brin is delivering a baby. They will schedule your next appointment at the front and give you your ultrasound paper work.”

  I thanked the nurse and proceeded to the front. After making my appointment, I picked up my hospital forms and walked out.

  Emerson was standing on the passenger side of his car and opened the door for me.

  Inside the car, I asked him, “Do you mind taking me to the hospital?”

  His voice was surprised as he replied, “Why is something wrong?”

  Shaking my head, I shared, “No. I got my registration stuff for the hospital and I get to schedule my ultra sound today.”

  Smiling with relief, Em agreed, “Okay. Sure.”

  We headed to the hospital. It was a strange feeling, not wanting to share everything with Em anymore. All I could think of was talking to Hert when he came home from work.

  Emerson dropped me at the front and went to park the car saying, “I’ll ask inside where to go and I’ll meet up with you.”

  Smiling, I waved and walked in.

  Things moved fast in the registration office and I was able to get my ultrasound scheduled for two o’clock p.m. the next day. Walking into the hallway, I saw Em waiting for me.

  I walked up to him and informed, “That’s it, all done.”

  Emerson smiled saying, “Well that was quick; hey, would you like to meet Jackson for lunch?”

  I nodded and we walked to the car.

  Feeling a little nervous when we pulled up to the restaurant where I was tormented by HIM, I decided to think about seeing Hert at home, instead of dwelling on the unpleasant. Jackson was standing outside waiting on us and greeted me with a hug. His smile was warm and happy as we walked inside.

  Sitting down, I leaned over to Jackson and teased, “Is you girlfriend working today?”

  He laughed with me as he replied, “No thank goodness!”

  As we explained the story to Emerson the waitress took our order. We laughed all through lunch. As we were telling Jackson goodbye, I wondered how often I would see him once Em left. If I could find a way to talk to Hert about Jacks maybe it could be worked out.

  We returned home in enough time for me to shower and get dressed before Hert arrived home from work. As soon as he walked in the door, I ran right up to him.

  Smiling, I announced, “Look what I got,” holding my paper in front of his face cheering, “I have an appointment at two o’clock tomorrow to have the ultrasound.”

  Without smiling, he said, “Okay, I’ll make sure I’m here in time to go. I have to go into work in the morning.”

  Taken aback by his lack of enthusiasm, I immediately stated, “Well, you don’t have to go if it’s too much trouble.”

  Walking away, I wanted to cry. I went upstairs and into my room. Folding my paper I stuck it in my wallet, and sat down on my bed. My thoughts became thick with disappointment. He didn’t even ask me about my doctor’s appointment. Hearing Hert’s door open and then shut, I assumed he didn’t want to talk to me.

  Momentarily debating on going in there to see what Hert’s problem was, I decided against it. Laying back I rubbed my belly.

  There was a knock on my door and I shouted, “What?”

  Em slowly walked into my room and sat down on the edge of my bed.

  Looking over at him, I asked, “What’s his problem?”

  Emerson shrugged and replied, “I don’t know. Hert didn’t say anything to me he just went to his room.”

  Worried, I suggested, “The wedding is only a month away now maybe he’s having second thoughts.”

  Giving me a ridiculous look, Em said, “Why do you always jump to the worst conclusion possible? Geez Ren, did you ever think that maybe Hert just had a bad day? He said he would be here to take you, just because he wasn’t jumping up and down doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. You know I love you Ren but you can be really self-centered. Not everything is about you all the time.”

  Appreciating the truth in Emerson’s statement I nodded and stared crying.

  Reaching over he put his hand on me saying, “I didn’t mean to make you cry, Ren.”

  Shaking my head, I shrugged and explained, “It’s not that. I was really excited and he disappointed me. I’m not trying to be selfish but I’m really getting nervous. I really want to be with Hert, but I’m all big and pregnant, just the thought of it makes me uncomfortable.”

  After staring at me for a minute trying to make sense of what I was saying, Em replied, “I think you should have this conversation with Hert.”

  Rolling my eyes at him, I turned on my side and muttered, “Never mind.”

  Emerson stood up and walked to the head of my bed.

  Leaning down, he kissed my forehead, and informed, “Sorry Ren. I can’t help you with this one,” then left my room.

  Thinking ‘gee thanks’, I wished Em would have been a little more grown up about it. It was hard enough waiting but the idea of discussing the mechanics of sex while six months pregnant with Hert was mortifying. All the books I read said sex was perfectly fine but I assumed that was for couples that were active the whole time. There was nothing about first times at six months. I wanted our first time to be special and romantic, not awkward and uncomfortable. Even though I knew Hert my whole life, there were some things I still felt uneasy about discussing with him. Our relationship was old and new at the same time. Wondering if maybe I could overcome my embarrassment long enough to discuss the subject with Hert, I heard another knock on my door. Self-conscious over what I was thinking with someone right outside the door, I stayed silent.

  My door slowly opened as Hert walked in. Completely silent he laid down beside me. I rolled onto my back refusing to look at him or break the silence. I looked down at my stomach as he slid my shirt up and spread his fingers wide across my bare belly. He moved down with his hand still in place positioning his head next to my belly.

  Hert whispered to the little stranger in my belly, “I love your mama very much, even if she is incredibly frustrating. And just because she aggravates me like no one else, that doesn’t change the way I feel about her.”

  I closed my eyes, pretending not to hear what was clearly aimed at me.

  Running a circle around my belly with his finger, he continued, “I can’t wait to see you tomorrow and find out if you’re a boy or a girl. I love you little one.”

  Sitting up, Hert leaned over, kissing right above my belly button. My eyes were still closed as I felt him lift my hand gently kissing the inside of my wrist, the inside of my elbow to my neck and right below my ear. As I opened my eyes Hert kissed my cheek and then my lips.

  Overwhelmed, I became courageous and asked, “Are you nervous about next month?”

  Thinking for a second, he questioned, “About getting married?”

  Explaining, I replied, “About after we get married.”

&nb
sp; Interested, he probed, “What is there to be nervous about then?”

  Suddenly I lost my nerve, feeling very insecure, I rolled onto my side away from him saying, “Never mind.”

  Brushing my hair out of my face, Hert asked, “Why are you nervous Renni?”

  Embarrassed I fought the urge to cry.

  Being persistent, he insisted, “If you’re worried about something, you should tell me.”

  Sighing, I replied, “I don’t know how to say it.”

  Exasperated he said, “What is it? Sex? Is that what you’re worried about? If it’s that big a deal, we can wait until after you have the baby.”

  Utterly discouraged by his suggestion, I shouted, “I knew it! You don’t want to do it while I’m pregnant!”

  He shouted right back, “Have you lost your mind? This whole waiting thing was your idea! If it were up to me we’d be doin’ it right now! You’re not putting this one on me! This one’s all you lady!”

  I couldn’t hold back anymore and I started to cry.

  Frantically trying to wipe my tears away, I urged, “I just want it to be special and romantic, how am I supposed to be sexy when I feel overstuffed? Why am I crazy for wanting our first time to be perfect?”

  Hert shook his head and pulled me to him.

  “Okay Renni, don’t get all upset. I want you. I am very serious so listen to me. I want you. Pregnant, not pregnant, six months, nine months, two months, I’m still going to want you. I want you. Do you understand?” as I nodded, he continued, “If you are not comfortable having sex while you’re pregnant, we can wait. If you want to have a real honeymoon after we get married we can and if you want to give it a try right now, I’m here ready and willing.”

  I was still crying, however, the absurdity of it all caught up to me and I started to laugh.

  Wrapping me tightly in his arms, Hert exclaimed, “You really are crazy!”

  That just made me laugh harder.

  Hert smiled at me and asked, “So is that a no on tonight?”

  I rolled my eyes and shook my head at him saying, “You are correct, that would be a no.”

  Trying to look endearing, he suggested, “Come on Renni, we are getting married next month and I haven’t even made it to second base yet.”

  I had to tease, “Second base, really? Are we back in high school now?”

  With a slightly sinister look, he offered, “Do you want to pretend we're back in high school?”

  Elbowing him, I got out of bed laughing, “Shut up.”

  Walking over to my dresser, I pulled a pair of pajama bottoms from the drawer. Changing out of my jeans, I watched Hert sit back against my headboard. I walked back over to the bed kneeling next to him. Placing my arms around his neck, I leaned my forehead onto his cheek.

  “Will you stay with me tonight?” I quietly asked.

  Hert exhaled loudly before saying, “I have to go into work in the morning.”

  Deciding to be more persuasive, I moved myself onto Hert’s lap facing him. Leaning in we were nose to nose.

  “We can stay in your room then,” I offered.

  Before he could object, I pressed my hands into his chest and kissed him. I missed being able to dissolve the space between us. Twisting the front of his shirt in my hands I pulled him closer. Hert’s arms that were loosely around my waist tightened, as our kiss continued. Slowly his hand slid up my sides taking my shirt with them, tossing it to the floor, he rounded second base.

  Chapter 16

  Awakened by my recurring nightmare, I sat up in bed wishing I had been as triumphant as Hert. Never fully getting my way with him, Hert only stayed with me until I fell asleep. It was almost like my subconscious knew when Hert left allowing dreams of HIM to creep in. Sickened by the idea of HIM being anywhere near me, even if it wasn’t real, I got up to take a shower. Glancing at the clock I noticed it was too late to see Hert before he left for work, but early enough to get a head start on my day. Quickly showering I got dressed and headed downstairs.

  Jackson was in the kitchen.

  Seeing me walk in he cheerfully said, “Hey mama, big day today!”

  Walking over to Jacks, I gave him a hug and cheered, “Yep! Then we can start picking out names!”

  Smiling his perfect smile, Jackson suggested, “If it’s a boy you could always name the kid after me.”

  Laughing, I agreed, “Sure, but you’re telling Hert.”

  Both of us laughed as I sat down at the table eating a piece of toast.

  Taking a seat next me, he asked, “So what do you want it to be?”

  With eyes wide I gasped, “A baby!”

  Shaking his head, still smiling he laughed, “Oh we got jokes this morning.”

  Nodding I confirmed, “Yep!” continuing, I answered, “It really doesn’t matter to me. I just want to know so we can pick a name and start buying stuff, ya know,” as he nodded, I looked around and asked, “Hey, where’s Em?”

  Shifting his eyes, he answered, “Oh, he had to go into town and take care of something.”

  Knowing Jackson was hiding something, I questioned, “Really what?”

  With a blank look on his face, he revealed, “Ren I’m not supposed to say anything.”

  Irritated, I stated, “I am really getting tired of ya’ll keeping things from me!”

  Nudging me, he offered, “Don’t get all mad. It’s a surprise, nothing bad.”

  Feeling bad for snapping at him, I said “Okay, I'm sorry. So what brings you by this morning?”

  Smiling wide again, he shared, “Well Ren, I wanted to ask you something.”

  Curious, I asked, “What?”

  Looking embarrassed which was unusual for him he asked, “So is Roberts going to be Hert’s best man or your maid of honor?”

  I gave him a strange look and asked, “Are you trying to be funny?”

  With a serious tone, he defended, “No I was really asking.”

  I didn’t want Jacks to feel left out, and since we really were trying to keep it simple, I explained, “Well, we really weren’t going to do all that. In fact the only guests will be Em, his parents, Fidora and you. Oh, and your parents are invited too,” then taking a deep breath and hoping Hert would forgive me for this one, I decided, “I would be honored if you and Em would walk me down the aisle.”

  Jackson’s eyes lit up and the excitement of his smile warmed my heart.

  Giving me a quick kiss on the cheek he said, “I’m going to be late for work. See you later mama.”

  Smiling my goodbye, I was happy to include Jacks.

  Like clockwork, Jackson left and Hert came home.

  Testing the waters, I said, “Hey you just missed Jackson.”

  Based on his scowl, I decided to hold off all discussions about the new wedding plans.

  Pouring myself a giant glass of water, I asked, “Are you off for the rest of the day?”

  Smiling, Hert replied, “I’m all yours until tomorrow,” as I smiled back at him, he said, “I am going to go take a shower. Did Roberts make it back yet?”

  I shook my head, knowing it was better not to try and get any information out of Hert. If Jackson didn’t tell me all hope was lost on Hert.

  Following him up the stairs, I asked, “Do you want to go shopping after the ultrasound?”

  Walking into his room, he answered, “Sure.”

  I sat down on Hert’s bed while he grabbed clothes to take into the bathroom with him.

  I heard the shower turn on and thought today my little stranger wouldn’t be a stranger anymore. He or she would have a name. Suddenly the realness of it hit me and panicked tears streamed down my face. I went to my room heading straight to the bathroom. I splashed cold water on my face trying to make the tears subside. As I calmed myself, I heard Hert call my name.

  I shouted, “I’m in here!” patting my face dry with a towel.

  Shaking my hands, I walked back to his room.

  With a cautious look, Hert asked, “Are you okay?”

&n
bsp; I nodded and said, “Are you ready?”

  As he replied, “Yes,” I sat down on the edge of his bed.

  Hert sat down next to me placing an arm around me. Sitting there next to me he didn’t speak.

  After a minute, I said, “Okay let’s go.”

  Smiling, Hert softly hugged me, saying, “We have to be back here by seven o’clock. Roberts wants us to all have dinner together to celebrate.”

  I nodded, thinking that was what Em had to take care of in town.

  On the way to the hospital, Hert held my hand firmly, rubbing his thumb on my wrist. We pulled into a parking space and Hert walked around the car opening my door. As I got out, he wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. Letting go, he held my hand as we made our way into the hospital. Down the hallway we stepped into the waiting area. Hert found a place to sit, while I signed in and handed the nurse my paper.

  Taking my seat next to Hert, he put his arm around me and asked, “Are you excited?”

  My heart fluttered as I replied, “Yes, I am.”

  I was ready to get a glimpse of my baby so I could start making plans and put the nursery together. Lost in thought, I jumped a little when my name was called.

  The nurse led us to a room with a hospital type bed in it, saying, “Right in here dear. Lay down and someone will be with you shortly.”

  Smiling, I said, “Thank you,” and did what I was told.

  Hert stood beside the bed rubbing my shoulder as we waited.

  I could tell he was excited. Every time I looked up at him there was a wide smile across his face.

  The sonographer came into the room and said, “Hi! Are ya’ll ready to see your baby,” as we smiled at her as she continued, “Okay, let’s get this show on the road,” before she pulled out a tube and squirted gel all over my stomach, warning me, “It’s going to be cold.”

  It was a bit uncomfortable as she prodded my stomach with the wand.

  “There’s your baby,” she informed, motioning toward the screen.