by M. Sembera
I smiled at the idea of Amila considering me upper class. If only she knew aside from the money and Hert’s position, I was far from anything having to do with class.
“Well thank you,” I laughed.
We talked on through lunch. She mentioned several times how beautiful Sophia was and how lucky I was to have her. Neither of us realized how long we sat there until Amila looked at her watch and noticed the time.
“Oh my gosh, it’s almost five! I have to get home!” she announced.
Standing up, I said, “It was very nice to meet you. I hope we can do this again.”
Turning towards me as she swiftly walked away, she shouted, “That would be great!”
I slowly walked back to the hotel. I was happy my first official day on my own went well. I decided tomorrow I might look for a house maybe in the same neighborhood as my new friend. Maybe there would be kids that lived there that Sophia could grow up playing with. I could have a nice life here.
Chapter 19
Feeling refreshed, I awoke with a mission. As much as I wanted a life here, I knew it would never be the one I wanted, unless Hert was here too. Calling down to the front desk, I had them send up a real-estate directory. After getting a list of houses for sale, I took a shower. Hert would be stopping by to see Sophia and I knew he wouldn’t be able to resist seeing where we would possibly live. Making sure I had the greatest impact on him, I also called a little boutique I passed the day before and asked them to send over a dress I saw in the window. If I had any doubt my plan would work, it disappeared when there was a knock at the door. Apologizing over and over the same man who set the crib up pleaded with me not to say anything about the envelope he was supposed to deliver to me yesterday. I assured him it was not a problem, and closed the door. I sat on the edge of the bed and opened the envelope already knowing what was inside.
My engagement ring and wedding band sparkled in the palm of my hand. Knowing Hert would have the upper hand if he arrived and I was wearing them, I gently placed them in a dish on the bedside table. My dress arrived and after putting it on, I took it right back off hanging it in the bathroom. Throwing a t-shirt and shorts on, I heard another knock on the door. Shaking my hands as I walked to open it, I took a deep breath.
Opening the door, I put on my serious face.
“Hello,” I greeted him.
Hert looked past me asking, “Is Sophia awake?”
It was perfect. If he was trying to avoid eye contact, I knew he was struggling.
I answered, “She should be up any minute now. I already fixed her a bottle it’s on the bedside table,” thinking, ‘right next to my rings’ as I informed, “I’m going to get dressed if you want to feed her when she wakes up.”
Fighting an excited smile, I walked to the bathroom purposely leaving the door open. Stepping to the side in order for it to seem unintentional, I pulled my t-shirt off. After taking my shorts off I leaned across the door way and grabbed my new dress. I slid my dress on over my head. Walking back out of the bathroom, I pretended not to notice Hert staring.
Coolly walking past him and picking up my list of houses, I made an effort to look busy.
“How long are you going to be here?” I asked.
Hert seemed anxious as he questioned, “Why? Are you going somewhere?”
With a light smile, I replied, “I was planning on looking at a few houses for sale. I can take Sophia with me if you’re not staying long. I bought her a stroller yesterday.”
Narrowing his eyes at me, Hert asked, “And you think it’s a good idea to walk down the street looking like that?”
I snapped at him, “None of the houses are far from here, and what do I look like? I thought I looked nice.”
Hert didn’t respond. Turning away from me, he focused on watching Sophia sleep.
“Well?” I pressed
He glanced at me, asking, “Well what?”
Giving him a stupid look, I probed, “Are you going to be here for a while or not?”
Hert sat down on the side of the bed and muttered, “Fine.”
I walked over to pick my purse up, that happened to be on the bed next to him. Grabbing my purse off the bed, I stopped suddenly, feeling Hert’s hand touch my hip. Quickly taking a step back before I started to give in, I shot him a fierce look.
His eyes were direct as he urged, “Could you at least put you wedding ring back on if you’re going to wander around town.”
“Yes sir,” I sarcastically stated, adding, “You know if you’re that worried about it, you can come and make sure I’m not just wandering around town.”
He narrowed his eyes again, claiming, “Fine then I will.”
“Good,” I replied picking up my rings and sliding them onto my finger.
After Sophia woke, Hert fed her and we headed out to look at houses. Walking down the street pushing Sophia in her stroller with Hert by my side pleased me.
Wondering if he had the same feeling of freedom as I did, I commented, “It’s really nice here.”
Hert didn’t acknowledge my statement as we continued walking. Starting to feel disappointed that maybe my plan wasn’t going to work and that Hert possibly did not want the same things I did, we ran into Amila.
Smiling wide at her, I greeted, “Hi!”
She smiled back, saying, “Hey Ren, what are you doing out today?” then greeted Hert, “Mr. Herterand,” with a nod.
“I got a list of houses for sale,” I said pulling the list out of my purse.
Amila looked at the list and replied, “Two of these are in my subdivision.”
I glanced up at Hert and said, “I wanna look at these first.”
She smiled and stated, “I have to get going. It was nice to see you again. Maybe we’ll be neighbors.”
“Maybe!” I said with a smile as she darted away.
We continued walking down the street before Hert started talking to me again.
He questioned me saying, “How do you know Telli’s wife?”
“Amila? I met her yesterday,” I informed.
Scowling at me a little, he asked, “How did you meet her?”
Getting frustrated with him, I stated, “I was out with Sophia yesterday and she came up to me asking if I was Mrs. Herterand. That she had seen a picture of me in your office. We got to talking and had lunch together. Is there a problem? She’s really nice.”
Hert slightly changed his expression, agreeing, “She is nice and Telli’s a pretty good guy.”
Continuing on, we reached the subdivision. It was perfect. Rows of houses exactly the same distance apart. Nice little front yards with fenced back yards.
Before I realized what I was doing, I squeezed Hert’s arm and cheered, “Oh my gosh! It’s perfect!”
I quickly stepped back clearing my throat and wishing I hadn’t done that.
Pulling the list back out, I checked the addresses saying, “There’s one of them,” as I pointed up the road.
Thinking out loud, I mumbled, “I wonder which house is Amila’s?”
Hert answered right away, “It’s the third house on the left.”
Surprised, I questioned, “How do know that?”
He explained, “When Telli and I started working at together about three years ago they invited me over for dinner.”
Shrugging a little, I said, “Oh.”
Both houses appeared nice. I told Hert we could head back and I would call the realtor tomorrow and take a look inside them. We walked back to the hotel in silence. A few times I considered saying ‘don’t you like it here’ or ‘this is the perfect place to raise Sophia’ but in the end it was better to keep quiet. My plan didn’t seem to be working out. In reality, having Hert come with me made me sad. A few times in the elevator I had to actively stop myself from crying.
Back in my room, I took Sophia out of her stroller placing her in her crib. She had spent our entire walk making noises and looking around with wonder.
Hert leaned over her crib saying, “She rea
lly likes to be outside.”
Nodding at him with a slight smile, I sat down.
Jumping back up, I shouted, “Damn it!”
Hert turned around jumping a little and shouting back, “What?!”
I sat back down placing my head in my hands.
“I completely forgot today is Tuesday. I was supposed to have my stitches taken out today,” I revealed.
Hert offered, “It’s alright I can call the doctor and have him come here and take them out.”
“Thank you. I would like that,” I appreciated.
He picked up the phone and made a call to the doctor first then one to room service. Our food arrived quickly.
While we ate and waited on the doctor Hert asked, “So you really like it here?”
Hoping he was really interested and not just making conversation, I nodded.
“Is everyone mad at me for leaving?” I asked.
Hert answered, “No, Mr. and Mrs. Roberts understand. Roberts and Jackson are, but not at you.”
Confused, I questioned, “Who are they mad at then?”
“Me,” he smirked before explaining, “I wouldn’t tell them where I took you. I figured you needed time to yourself.”
Thinking he was being very considerate, I said, “Thanks.”
Hert started to say something but was interrupted by a knock at the door. It was Dr. Chepelli. Having my stitches removed wasn’t a pleasant experience but I was happy to have them gone. Hert and I both thanked him for coming out as he left.
Feeling as if more needed to be said between us but not sure what, I sat there staring at Hert hoping something would come to me.
Nothing came to me so I said, “Can you stay for a little bit longer so I can shower?”
He nodded and I grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom, this time closing the door behind me. I wished I could just ask Hert to stay. Knowing he would leave when I was done made me sad. This was all so unfair. After showering I got dressed and stepped out of the bathroom.
Hert stood up, informing, “I’d better go. I have to get to The Office.”
I watched him lean over Sophia’s crib and whisper, ‘I love you. See you tomorrow’, to her before walking towards the door. I fought the urge to grab hold of him and demand he stay.
Unsure of how to say goodbye, I asked, “So I’ll see you tomorrow?”
Appearing equally unsure he nodded and suggested, “I can go with you to look at those houses tomorrow….I mean if you didn’t want to go by yourself.”
Giving a slight smile, I nodded before closing the door behind him.
Chapter 20
My plan for the previous day left me disappointed and lonely so I decided no more plans. No more taking my ring off or putting on revealing dresses. After looking at houses today with Hert, I would have to just tell him what I wanted and see where things go from there. It was very hard for me to be direct with him. To be perfectly honest, I still wasn’t quite sure where I stood with him.
Hert arrived about the same time as he did the day before. When I opened the door, I started to feel anxious knowing what was ahead.
Hert walked in asking, “Did you already call and set up an appointment to look at those houses?”
Realizing that part had slipped my mind, I confessed, “Oh, no I haven’t yet.”
Getting the number out of my purse, I called to make an appointment. Unfortunately no one was available to show the houses until Thursday.
Starting to panic even more now, I said, “I should have called earlier. They don’t have anyone to show the houses until Thursday.”
He didn’t seem to mind, saying, “Well that’s okay, I took tomorrow off too. I have something out in the car. Let me go get it and then we can go have lunch if you want.”
I nodded starting to feel clammy.
Once he was gone I sat down on the floor taking slow deep breaths. This definitely was something I needed to get under control. That’s all I needed, to pass out or throw up while discussing the future of our relationship. The door opened back up and the second I saw Hert again, I felt dizzy.
He was holding Sophia’s swing saying, “I thought she would like having her swing.”
Unable to control myself any longer, I had to go into the second bedroom of the suite.
Hert hollered after me, “Are you okay Renni?”
Taking a deep breath, I choked out, “Yea, I just need a minute,” shutting the door that separated the two rooms.
Grabbing a pillow off the bed, I buried my face in it, sliding to the floor. Using everything I had in me, I managed to keep tears from coming out of my eyes. Slowly moving the pillow from my face, I stood up and walked back into the room with Hert and Sophia. He was sitting on the floor watching Sophia swing. I sat down on the floor next to him.
“Are you alright?” Hert asked.
Giving him a short nod, I answered, “Yea.”
Looking thoughtful, he offered, “I’m sorry you aren’t getting to see the houses today.”
Shrugging a little, I replied, “They’ll still be there tomorrow.”
I wanted to reach over and hold his hand. Pulling my knees to my chest, I wrapped my arms around my legs instead. Feeling now, was as good a time as any I started by apologizing.
In a soft voice I said, “I’m sorry for the way I acted the other night.”
Hert turned his head towards me with an interested look across his face.
As my eyes caught his, I continued, “I shouldn’t have slapped you either.”
Slightly grinning, he confessed, “I shouldn’t have said not to concern yourself with my mother.”
Shrugging, I said, “I just don’t feel like things are ever going to get better if I stay in that house,” before looking away and adding, “If we are both willing, I think we can work this out.”
Hert scooted back a little asking, “You want to work things out?”
I was surprised he truly didn’t know the answer to that question.
Taking a deep breath, I replied, “Hert I don’t care about being right or getting my way anymore. I love you and want to be with you. If you don’t want to quit working for Mr. Roberts then I will let that go but I want to live here and I don’t see why we can’t reach a compromise that will make us both happy. Right now neither of us are happy.”
After searching my eyes for a moment, Hert said, “You do realize if you live here, people don’t really know you here. If Roberts or Jackson were to come by and stay with you…well, they wouldn’t think it was out of friendship.”
Quickly catching on, I stated, “I realize that Hert,” before taking another breath and asking, “Are you afraid of it being just you and me?”
Hert’s eyes softened as he confessed, “No. I’m afraid you’re going to realize it’s not me you want.”
I could not believe Hert was afraid of losing me, just like I was afraid of losing him. It couldn’t wait any longer. I had to go ahead and lay it all on the line. Saying I love you and I always want you wasn’t the same as actually explaining my feelings. I knew how painful it was wondering if Hert would always love me and I loved him too much to let him continue to feel the way I did.
With tears filling my eyes, I professed, “Hert, I’ve never been in love before. You know when I saw you again that first night in the dining room, I was immediately attracted to you. I have never wanted any one like that before either. It was so frustrating having you be so different. Then as things went on, I felt like I was getting to know you all over again. I hate to admit it but it’s because I really never got to know you growing up. If I had I would have fallen in love with you so much sooner. There is no one else I want.”
Hert reached over sliding his fingers in between mine asking, “Then why did you leave me?”
I quickly answered, “Because I asked you to choose me and you didn’t.”
Letting out a loud sigh, he stated, “I didn’t choose anything; I was trying to get you to understand it’s not that simple.”<
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Scooting right up to him, I let go of his hand and placed both of mine on the sides of his face.
“Hert, I know simple is never going to happen with us but I think here the only thing people know about us is that you are my husband and I am your wife. I’m asking you to please try it with me,” I shared.
He got up, took Sophia out of her swing and placed her in her crib. Slowly walking back over to me, he held out his hand. I took it and he pulled me to my feet. Wrapping his arms around me he leaned his forehead to mine. Sliding my arms around him, I held on tight.
His voice was serious; “I love you,” before pulling back, and placing his hands on the sides of my face, “Promise you’re not just running away.”
Laying my hands against Hert’s chest, I nodded. My nod seemed to be sufficient enough. Wrapping his arms around me he, held me tight against him. Needing him to simply hold me, I hesitated when there was a knock at the door. Hert let go of me and answered the door.
Things happened rather quickly after that. Hert rushed over to the phone picking it up and making calls. Ordering me to get Sophia in her car seat and grab her diaper bag. Instantly obeying, I waited to ask what was going on until we were out of the hotel and in the car.
My heart was racing while I asked, “What happened?”
“Mr. Roberts had an aneurysm, he’s at the hospital,” he informed.
My mind raced as I sat there just shaking my head.
Hert continued, “We are going to stop by Jackson’s parent’s house to drop Sophia off then we’re going to the hospital.”
“What about Erin? And Emerson?” I asked.
Hert said, “They are there already and Jackson is heading over there right now.”
I couldn’t help asking, “Was it bad? What’s going to happens if…”
He shortly stated, “Renni, just let me get us there, alright.”
There were way too many scenarios to speculate what would happen next. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, preparing for the worst.
Chapter 21
After dropping Sophia off with Mrs. Thomas, we went straight to the hospital. Hert held my hand, practically dragging me behind him as he rushed through the hospital. The sight of Emerson and Erin standing in the hallway brought both of us to a dead stop. Erin, always the picture of perfection, now appeared depleted. Emerson’s eyes were grim. Slowly walking towards them… I KNEW.
