The Rennillia Series: Volumes 1-5

by M. Sembera

  Sounding concerned, he asked, “Are you alright?”

  I quickly answered, “Sorta. I’ll tell you about it when you get home.”

  “Is everything okay?” he questioned.

  Swiftly lying, I said, “Yea, I’m just tired and ready for you to come home.”

  “I love you, Renni. I’ll be home in the morning,” he stated.

  I said, “Love you too. See you in the morning,” before I hung up.

  As I walked to Sophia’s room to check on her I thought about Erin and Ms. Herterand. Finding Sophia still peacefully sleeping, I returned to my room. Feeling sad over Em’s almost pitiful situation and uncomfortable with how easily my heart provoked my mind to ease his pain, I needed Hert’s help. Climbing into bed, I decided, I was going to betray Erin’s confidence and tell Hert. Reassuring myself that I knew what I was doing, I fell asleep.

  Chapter 24

  Startled by a knock at my bedroom door, I sat straight up in bed. The door slowly opened. Careful not to step foot in Hert and I’s room, Emerson leaned his head in.

  “I’m going to take off,” he informed.

  Not fully awake, yet aware he needed to stay at least until Hert came home, I quickly made a suggestion.

  “Why don’t you stay a little while? I’ll make some breakfast and you can see Sophia. You know she misses you,” I offered.

  It took no convincing as he nodded and left the doorway, closing the door behind him.

  I climbed out of bed, brushed my teeth and got dressed, as I mulled over the best approach to take in telling Hert about Erin and his mother’s secret. After I was dressed, I walked to Sophia’s room.

  Smiling wide at her as she reached her arms out to me I picked her up, saying, “Good morning. I have a surprise for you.”

  Changing her out of her pajamas and into a little outfit I tickled the bottoms of her feet telling her how much I loved her. Once she was dressed, I scooped her up and carried her downstairs.

  Emerson was already in the kitchen when I walked in with Sophia. The moment she saw him, her smile beamed, causing me to smile at him too.

  Placing Sophia in her highchair, I asked, “Can you sit at the table with her while she eats her cereal?”

  “She’s eating by herself?” Emerson asked with a shocked tone.

  Nodding at him I said, “Yep, she’s a big girl now.” Then turning to Sophia, I complimented, “You’re my big girl, aren’t you,” as she joyfully slapped her hands against the tray in front of her.

  I could see the regret in Emerson’s expression. Sophia continued smiling at him. She babbled on, making all kinds of noise almost as if she was telling him everything he had missed.

  The three of us sat at the table eating breakfast together until I heard Hert’s car pull in. Immediately on my feet, I waited to greet him at the door. When he walked in, I threw my arms around him.

  “I missed you!” I announced.

  Kissing my forehead, Hert responded, “I missed you too!”

  As he slowly let go of me I noticed him glare at Emerson. Lightly squeezing his arm, I walked back to Sophia lifting her out of the highchair. Hert focused his attention on us as he walked over, taking Sophia and spinning her around.

  I quickly informed him, “She just ate, so you might not want to do that.”

  “I missed you pumpkin. So so much,” he gushed over her.

  Hert handed Sophia back to me. I knew he wanted to have a talk with Emerson.

  Placing my hand on Hert’s shoulder, I suggested, “Em can keep an eye on Sophia. Come upstairs with me. I’ll help you get unpacked.”

  I didn’t wait for his response before handing Sophia to Em and heading upstairs.

  In our room, Hert placed his hands on my shoulders.

  Sliding his hands down my arms, he whispered, “I missed you so so much too,” taking a step closer to me.

  Gently sliding away from him, I started to second guess myself.

  “So how did Roberts end up here?” Hert questioned.

  Taking a deep breath, I said, “Some girl dropped him off. She said he passed out at The Bar and she didn’t know where else to take him. I know what I said before but I really think you need to talk to him, Hert.”

  “Oh, we’re going to have a talk,” he assured.

  Rolling my eyes, I sat down on our bed with a sigh.

  “Look I know that but I think he needs someone to really talk to. And I think he should move back in here for a little while,” I suggested.

  With a confused look Hert questioned, “I thought you didn’t want him here. You redid his room and everything. Why did you change your mind?”

  Trying to explain, I replied, “I still don’t want him living here but I think he needs help dealing with Mr. Roberts dying. He was there for me when I needed help. But I just think you would be the best person…He told me last night he feels lost. Plus, he found out Mr. Roberts had an affair.”

  Trying to gauge his response to my explanation, I sat there silently waiting. Hert’s expression was odd as his eyes appeared to be searching mine for information.

  Narrowing my eyes at him, I asked, “Well? You don’t have anything to say?”

  Hert’s eyes grew serious as he stated, “What’s there to say?”

  “Oh my gosh Hert! You know! Don’t you?” I exclaimed.

  He confessed, “Yes,” then asked, “How do you know?”

  “Erin told me,” I answered.

  Taking a moment to evaluate the situation and figure out why Hert seemed unaffected by information that would have rocked me to my core, I reached my hand out to him. He took my hand and sat down next to me.

  “I guess you’re okay with it then?” I asked.

  Hert kissed my cheek, replying, “Let’s get back downstairs.”

  Nodding, I followed him back downstairs with the understanding he was refusing to deal with it. All his excuses for not visiting his mother made perfect sense now.

  Back downstairs, we walked into the kitchen. Emerson instantly looked up from Sophia. Leaving Hert’s side, I walked to Em taking Sophia and giving him a cautioning look. Slightly smiling at Hert when I passed him heading toward the living room, I planned on being far enough away to let them talk but at the same time close enough so I could hear too.

  I heard Hert say, “I need a word with you Roberts. Come step outside with me.”

  Shocked at how much his tone reminded me of Mr. Roberts, it took me a second to be disappointed they were out of eaves dropping range. Watching Sophia play with her toys on the floor in front of the couch, I anxiously waited for Hert and Em to come back inside.

  From the look on their faces when they came back in, I knew it was bad. Emerson’s expression was sad and his eyes were filled with guilt. Hert’s face was solemn and his eyes were fierce. Glancing back and forth at them as they entered the living room, I started to get nervous.

  Hert’s voice was intense as he ordered, “Rennillia upstairs! Now!”

  Giving him a confused look, not only for barking orders at me but for using my full first name, I slowly stood up.

  “Go!” he ordered again, pointing to the stairs.

  I could feel my stomach turning as my head filled with scenarios of their conversation. Turning away from them, I slowly headed upstairs.

  I walked into our room and sat down on the bed. Searching my mind for what I could have done to make Hert so angry, I was panic stricken. Hert walked in slowly closing the door behind him. Unable to speak, I just stared at him with my eyes full of questions.

  “Is there something you want or need from me that I don’t give you?” he questioned.

  I quietly shook my head at him.

  “I have gone above and beyond what any man in their right mind would. Haven’t I?” he questioned.

  Still silent, I nodded.

  “Then explain to me why you didn’t tell me what happened between you and Roberts?” he asked.

  My heart stopped. I started to speak but Hert didn’t let me
get a word out.

  He blurted, “Explain it!” then lowering his voice he said, “Explain how you could let him touch you like it was nothing and then tell me some lie about why you wanted him to leave? Maybe if you explain it to me I can understand why and have a reason to stay.”

  Shaking my head at him, I stated, “Because nothing happened.”

  “Enough happened for you to want him to leave. And now you want him back here? Why?” he interrogated.

  I stood up and walked toward him saying, “I feel bad for him.”

  “Good. He can stay here with you as long as you want. I’m leaving,” he informed as he walked out of our room.

  It only took a second of my heart pounding and tears filling my eyes before I ran out of our room and caught him in the hallway. Grabbing hold of him, I buried my face in his back.

  I begged, “Hert please, don’t leave.”

  For a moment I thought he might stay until he jerked away for me and shouted, “I’m glad you feel bad for him! I’m glad you’re thinking about Roberts because you’re sure as hell not thinking about me! So now I don’t have to think about you anymore!”

  I watched him turn away from me and walk down the stairs. Sitting down at the top of the staircase I saw Hert pick Sophia up and hug her before setting her back down and walking out the front door. Hurt and betrayed, I couldn’t move. I was too stunned to cry.

  As I sat there staring at the door, Hert walked out of, I noticed Emerson standing in front of me holding Sophia. Em walked around me and into Sophia’s room then came back out and sat beside me on the stairs.

  He whispered, “I’m sorry Ren, I didn’t mean for him to leave.”

  “What the hell did you think was going to happen?” I asked.

  Looking down, he said, “I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I just wanted to explain.”

  As cold as I could, I stated, “It really doesn’t matter now. Just leave.”

  Emerson didn’t respond. He stood up, walked down the stairs and out the front door.

  My mind seemed unable to comprehend what was happening. As I continued to sit there, I couldn’t think of what to do. I was blank.

  The phone started to ring and I just sat there until I heard Jackson’s voice saying, “Pick up the phone Ren. I’m going to keep calling until you answer,” on the answering machine.

  I got up and walked to my room picking up the phone.

  Jackson’s voice was anxious as he asked, “Ren, did you pick up? Ren?”

  Finding it hard to say anything, I breathed, “Yea.”

  “I’m coming over. Okay?” he asked.

  Nodding as if he could see me, I hung up the phone. I checked Sophia, who was still sleeping soundly and went back downstairs to sit on the couch and wait for Jackson.

  Sitting there waiting, I still couldn’t think of anything except the fact that Hert had left and I was sad. It didn’t seem to take long for Jackson to arrive. He walked in appearing regretful.

  “Ren, Hert sent me here to pick up some of his things,” he said, almost apologizing.

  I nodded and he walked over to me. He wrapped his arms around me.

  Holding me tight, he inquired, “Ren, what happened?”

  Shaking my head into his chest, I asked, “Do you think your mom would watch Sophia for me for the night?”

  Jacks nodded, saying, “I’m sure. I’ll call her right now,” as he let go.

  I walked upstairs as he followed. I opened my door and motioned for him to go in. He turned to me, starting to apologize for being the one to collect Hert’s things and I shrugged and shook my head at him.

  I could hear him talking to his mom on the phone as I packed Sophia an overnight bag. When I walked back into the hallway to bring her bag downstairs, I noticed Jackson was quietly arguing on the phone. Stepping closer to my doorway, I heard him say ‘This is messed up!’ and ‘Fine!’ before hanging up the phone. I slowly walked into my room.

  Jackson’s expression was strained as he stated, “My mom will be here in just a little bit,” then with a loud sigh continued saying, “After she picks Sophia up, Hert wants me to take you to The Office.”

  Narrowing my eyes, I questioned, “Why?”

  With another unhappy sigh he replied, “He said he needs to talk to you.”

  Shaking my head at Jackson, I protested, “Why can’t he come here if he needs to talk to me?”

  “I don’t know Ren,” he answered.

  Refusing to obey Hert’s demands I decided I wasn’t going to do what I was told. I had made great strides in the last few months making life easier for my husband. Now I was going to make things as difficult for him as possible. If he couldn’t understand what I was trying to do by not telling him about the almost nothing that happened with Emerson and me, then I wasn’t going to be understanding either.

  Slightly smiling, I informed Jackson, “Well, you can tell Mr. Herterand I said ‘no thank you’ and if he wants to talk to me he knows where to find me.”

  Almost smiling too, Jackson replied, “Yes Ma’am. I will relay that message for you.”

  Mrs. Thomas picked up Sophia and left with a compassionate expression painted across her face the entire time. After I declined Jackson’s offer to stay, he left too. Unsure of what to do with myself, I sat down on my bed and tried to think of the best course of action from this point. Still I was blank. Frustrated nothing was developing in my head, I flung myself back on the bed.

  Finally deciding the best course of action was no action, I heard the phone ring.

  Picking the phone up, I answered, “Hello.”

  Hert’s voice boomed on the other end as he shouted, “Why didn’t you come here?”

  Not feeling the need to explain myself to him, I hung up.

  The phone rang again and again I answered, “Hello.”

  Still shouting at me, Hert yelled, “Damn it Renni…”

  I hung up the phone.

  The phone rang again and again I answered, “Hello.”

  Angrier than before, he yelled, “You…”

  I hung up on him for a third time, finding I was actually enjoying myself. As sick as it was, I was hurt and the thought of Hert angry and frustrated made me happy.

  The phone rang again and again I answered, “Hello.”

  Hert’s voice was calm this time as he asked, “Rennillia, will you please come to The Office?”

  With a giant smile on my face I answered, “Nope,” and hung up the phone.

  After waiting a moment for the phone to ring again, I pranced downstairs. Smiling from ear to ear, I felt strangely energized. Having forced myself to be proper and live up to my marital obligations, this was a nice change. Skipping into the kitchen, I cleaned up the dishes left from breakfast. I swept the floor and was ready to stretch out on the couch and relax. Thinking to myself if Hert was happy not to have to think anything about me, I wasn’t going to think about him either.

  Hearing the front door open startled me awake from my nap. I jumped up and saw Hert walking in. Rolling my eyes at him, I sighed and walked upstairs. I heard him shout ‘hey’ as I went into my room to brush my teeth and pull my hair up. Heading back downstairs, I thought about how much I wanted him to just grab me and kiss me. I shook off the thought and walked over to him standing in the living room.

  Raising both my eyebrows, I asked, “Didn’t Jacks already pick your stuff up for you?”

  Hert’s jaw tightened as he replied, “I told Jackson to bring you to The Office,”

  “And I told him I wasn’t going,” I snapped back at him.

  Visibly irritated he questioned, “Why not?”

  I walked over to the couch and sat down, politely smiling at him.

  “I didn’t want to,” I replied.

  My secret joy over his frustration was replaced by an overwhelming desire for him to have his hands on me. The desire rapidly increased with every flex of his jaw. Thinking at any moment he would change his mind, it was hard to believe this was really happening.
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  “I am trying to handle this responsibly,” he informed.

  I in turn shared, “This? Um, I know you don’t think you’re going to handle me,” smiling at him as he gritted his teeth.

  “I never said I was handling you. I was talking about this situation,” he clarified.

  Crossing my arms against my chest, I asked, “So what’s the situation?”

  “Our separation,” he blurted.

  My tone was coated with sarcasm as I stated, “Well, you left and had someone collect your things. I would say the separation’s handled.”

  Hert stared at me as I stood up and walked into the kitchen. I calmly sat down at the table. He slowly walked in taking a seat across from me.

  “It’s agreed then we are separating?” he asked.

  Glaring at him, I replied, “If that’s what you want.”

  Staring at the table, he answered, “Yes.”

  The sting of his response radiated through me.

  Disappointed that he was unwilling to love me anymore, I stated, “Okay then, you can come by and see Sophia as often as you want. She’s staying at Mrs. Thomas’ tonight but she will be home tomorrow afternoon.”

  Hert nodded and stood up. Even though I really wanted to, I couldn’t look at him. Refusing to cry in front of him, I quickly got up and went upstairs. In my room, I could feel my eyes well up with tears. I always knew this day would come eventually; still I was surprised it actually had. Walking to my dresser, I saw no reason to wear my ring. I started to pull it off my finger and couldn’t. I couldn’t make myself take it off. Sitting down on the floor, I started to cry. Flickers of all Hert’s promises stung my heart as I realized it was over.

  Hearing my bedroom door open, I jumped to my feet. Rushing to the bathroom, I slammed the door behind me.

  “I needed to get something out of the closet,” Hert informed me through the door.

  Grabbing a towel, I wiped the tears from my face, cleared my throat and said, “Alright.”

  I listened for the closet to open and close then waited a few minutes before I left the bathroom. When I came out I saw Hert sitting on the bed. The box he had left me ‘just in case’ set on the bed beside him. My first thought was to turn around but I walked back to my dresser instead.