Our Fate

by Cathy Johns

  “Come here,” he says the minute he sits next to me and pulls me into his arms. I crawl into his lap and hide my face on his neck, inhaling his scent. He wraps his arms around my tiny frame before starting to rub his hand along my spine and up my back. The move is soothing and calming at the same time. I don’t want to be in his arms but at the same time, his arms feel like home. This is where I belong, even though I don’t want to at the moment.

  He kisses my temple before lifting my chin, so I can look at him. “I’m sorry, Shae,” he says and before I can speak he presses his forefinger to my lips, shutting me up. “I know I should have called, God knows how many times I picked up my phone just to hear your voice, but I couldn’t press the dial button. I knew I hurt you, I walked away without so much as a goodbye and I’ll spend the rest of my life regretting that but…” he pauses, rubbing his finger on my lips. His hazel eyes look different, the green specks in them overshadow the golden that I’m used to, looking haunted. I don’t like that look but I can’t change anything even if I wanted to. We’re both hurting but I’m happy that he’s here trying to make things right.

  “They say fear makes us weak and that’s what it did to me. I knew the day I fell in love with you, I knew it because my heart didn’t want to be far away from you, but fear made me pull back. I’ve lost people I loved in my life, starting with my dad when I was born. I never met him, just memories of what my mama had told me about him. I had no one else in the world, just Mama and I, and when I was twenty-five, I lost her too. I couldn’t wrap it around my head what would happen to me if I was to lose you too. I know life is unpredictable, but I couldn’t and that’s why I left. I know it’s not an excuse and you deserved to know the truth, but I was a coward to not let you in. Instead I took a shortcut and walked out of your life,” he adds, his face bowing down in shame.

  “What about Greg?” I had to ask.

  “Greg is the brother I never had but over the years, I’ve kept him at arm’s length, something I’m not proud of.”

  I don’t know what to make out of all that he has said, but to know he has no one else in this world makes my heart ache for him. So, I do the only thing I know that words can’t say, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him closer to me. I hold him tightly, letting him feel everything I’m not able to say. I’m not going anywhere. He’ll always have me and whatever stands in our way, we’ll handle it together.

  “I love you, Shae. I love you so much,” he murmurs against my chest where his head is pressing against my breasts, his warm breath tickling me.

  “I always wanted to know why you left. I kept telling myself that I was not worth it, I was not worth you and hell, I even believed my parents words when they said I was not worth anything. And so when you left, I just told myself that you didn’t want me and that I had to live with it,”—I murmur against his neck—“I had to remind myself what we had. We weren’t supposed to have anything serious, just casual sex, but being with someone for a year will truly mess with your heart and mind and I started feeling things for you. Things that I couldn’t understand in the beginning, but my heart was totally sold to you. I was falling for you, Marcus. Hard and fast.” I pull from our embrace and look in his eyes, ‘cause what I’m about to say needs me looking in those beautiful hazel eyes of his. “I love you, Marcus. Not a day has passed by in those three years we’ve been apart that I have wanted anyone else in my life. It was always you. I saw your face everywhere I looked, not even the men who approached me would have made me forget about you. They didn’t have your height, their eyes were wrong, and their touch, their touch felt cold, their smile was wrong… everything about them was wrong because they were not you, Marcus, and I knew there was no getting over you. So it hurts knowing you had my number all this time but you never called me, not even once and I don’t know how to live with that.” I inhale deeply trying to fight the tears again. “You hurt me pretty bad and…” I sniff when I feel the first tear fall and Marcus reaching with his thumb to wipe it away, but another falls in its place. “Even when I’m mad at you, to a point I want to drill some sense into you, I still don’t know how to go on living without you since we’ve found each other again.” I touch my head to his forehead, before pressing my lips against his.

  “I can see I have a lifetime of making up to do,” he says, chuckling between our lips.

  “You better start now before I change my mind.” I chuckle, lightening the mood. I know it will take a long time for us to heal—especially me—but there’s no way I’m letting him go and I can’t stay mad at him for long and the thought of him making it up to me for the rest of our lives makes me giggle.

  “What?” he asks.

  “Oh, nothing,” I murmur, looking at him to see if he’s going to push me to say what’s on my mind, but when he raises that brow of his then cocks his head to the side makes me spill everything out. “Just the thought of you spending the rest of your life making it up to me has got me excited.” I wiggle my brows at him.

  “Really?” he asks, his hands trailing the sides of my breasts and I moan.

  “Yes,” I whimper.

  “How excited?” he asks, this time his fingers brush against my nipples.

  “Mmhm,” I sigh. “Very, very excited.”

  In one swift move, he turns me so I’m straddling him. He frames my face between his hands, his eyes taking me in and I bite my lower lip. The way he looks at me makes me feel things that have me wishing we were naked because I feel like he’s making love to me with the way his eyes are drilling into mine. I take the time also to take him in, his thin lips that I want to kiss so badly are curled to one side in a smile that reveals one of his dimples that I know is hidden by his scruff. The green in his eyes has faded, making the golden specks in them shine brightly with the light coming through my office window. And that nose of his that I found myself rubbing mine against so many times than I care to count.

  Everything about Marcus is perfect. And I love this man, despite everything he’s put me through. He’s my everything, he owns my mind, body, heart, and soul.

  “Mi alma—” we say, shocking both of us. He couldn’t have been thinking of the same thing that I did. If that’s not our souls telling us were connected in a way we’ll never understand, then I don’t know what it is.

  He pulls me close to him, his lips slamming against mine in a powerful kiss that wipes all thoughts from my mind and all I’m left doing is feeling. I feel the way his tongue swipes across my lips wanting access, which I blissfully give him. The minute his tongue finds mine, it all becomes a beautiful tug of war, where I’m sucking his tongue into my mouth and he does the same. I moan, he groans. I whimper, he grumbles; taking what we both want.

  His tongue swirls around my mouth and his hands, those hands that I had missed so much, send shivers up my body as they trail everywhere they can reach before squeezing my ass, pulling me closer to him. It’s times like this that I want to thank whoever invented dresses, because it makes it easy for me to rub myself against his bulge that is pressing against his dress pants. By no means is this man a small man and thinking of how decorative his cock is makes me shiver with want, desire pooling between my legs.

  I need to be reminded how good it felt when he made me lay beneath him, his mouth trailing every inch of my body, tasting me.

  He nips on my lower lip and sucks it into his mouth before soothing the pain with his tongue. He leaves my mouth and finds my neck, his tongue trailing a line up behind my ear, where he tugs on my earlobe gently before sucking it into his mouth. The tingles that run up and down my body makes me moan, loud. Fuck I had missed this. I had missed this sweet, sinful mouth of his. His mouth finds my exposed neck and nips gently before sucking the exposed vein, a reminder of how many times he marked me there. I know this time won’t be different and I want it. I want him marking me, reminding me that he loves me and I’m his.

  “Marcus…” I whimper, aligning my clit against his bulge and rubbin
g myself there. He doesn’t stop me. I want him, I want him so badly, to a point I don’t care who might be listening on the other side of the door.

  “Please,” I tremble when his fingers brush against my nipples that are now hard and pushing against my dress.

  “Please what?” I can hear the laughter in his voice, but I’m a lost cause when his mouth is on me and his fingers tease my nipples.

  “I want you.” I moan, my head falling back when I feel my orgasm threatening to tear me apart and my pussy clenching tightly. I lean back, supporting my weight on his thighs and rub myself against his cock. “It feels so sweet,” I cry, rotating my hips. Making sure I don’t miss the contact and how good it feels when my clit is rubbing against his dick, where I know his mushroom head is, and I’m there on the edge, climbing so high like a kite, the air leaving my lungs as I’m about to fall. And I do, I come hard, my whole body quaking and the only word that come out of my mouth is a repeat of his name, over and over and over again.

  The minute I come down from my high, I open my eyes and find his on me, smiling and I gnaw on my lip feeling shy, making me hide my face on his chest.

  The laughter that escapes from his mouth has his chest vibrating and I want to smack it from his face, but I’ll give him this, I’ll let him laugh at my expense.

  “You look so… I don’t have the right word as to how you look when you come, and it makes me want to see you come again.” He whispers in my ear. “I’m pretty sure everyone on the other side of the door heard you screaming my name.

  “Oh, my God,” I laugh at that. I don’t even know how I’m going to face them.

  “Nothing to be ashamed of.” He chuckles.

  We stay in silence, both of us lost in our thoughts mine are all about him and where we go from here. A lifetime of making up for lost time and planning a future I don’t know if he wants to be a part of but whatever life throws our way, I need him to know that I’m not going anywhere.

  “I want to take you somewhere.” He says, tightening his hold on me to him before pulling himself up from the floor with me in his arms.

  “Wow.” I giggle. “You make me look like I weigh nothing,” I say.

  “Maybe.” He wiggles his brow at the same time squeezing my ass. I can still feel his hardness between my legs. I wrap my legs around his hips and press myself against him.

  Whack. “Behave,” He says, groaning.

  “Where are you taking me,” I ask, but I don’t stop rubbing myself against his bulge until he places me on my office desk and adjusts himself, tucking in his dress shirt that is now wrinkled. He cups my cheeks before leaning in to kiss me breathless then pulls away. He lifts me up from the desk and on the ground. When he knows I can stand on my own two feet, he entwines our fingers and leads me out of my office.

  “It’s a surprise.” That’s all I get from him before we entered his car and drive off to god knows where.

  Marcus

  “It’s a surprise,” that’s all I say before I’m hauling her out of her office and into my car. I can’t wait to see the look on her face the minute she sees what I have planned for her, or rather what I want to share with her. I hope she won’t think I’ve lost my mind though at first, I felt like I was losing my damn mind by walking out on her.

  “Nice car,” she says the minute she settles inside my car. It’s a 2017 Cadillac CTS-V car. A man’s got to love his toys and if you have money, you give yourself the very best. I own a winery company that has been doing well over the past eight years and with all the sweat that I have poured in that company, I can only reward myself in such a way that every man out there with big dreams could agree.

  “Thank you.” I steal a look towards her the minute I start the car. I squeeze her leg which is not easy with the way her short dress leaves nothing to the imagination. The things I want to do to her the minute I get her out of that dress…

  I shake my head, clearing my lustful thoughts and joining the road and head towards my place. We make small talk in the car while listening to music and it feels like old times when I’d take us for a drive in my truck back in Portland. Oh, how I miss those days, how I miss waking up next to her on those last Sundays after a crazy night out and the voracious sex we’d have.

  So much for clearing my lustful thoughts. My dick stirs, coming back to life as it presses against my pants. I groan in frustration.

  “Are you alright?” she asks, but like she can read my predicament, she rests her hand on my mid-thigh, her fingers trailing up. “You know…” she lets her words hang in the air, but her fingers are on another mission when they graze against my cock, outlining its thickness. I look between my legs and I’m forced to part my legs a little wider and she cups my dick and squeezes gently.

  I look at her and I see the smile on her face when our eyes lock briefly but she goes ahead, torturing me.

  “I miss this.” She says. Her soft touch makes me hard and I want out of these pants, too bad I can’t since I’m driving. “I missed how you felt between my legs. How you’d thrust inside me, gave me what I needed, hard and fast and sometimes you’d give it to me soft and slow like you wanted me to feel every inch of you, which you did in such a way that left me unable to form a thought… and that last time, when you made love to me...” she squeezes me gently before unbuckling my belt and opening the button, the sound of a zipper follows next. “Did you have to ruin me for any other man?” she asks the minute she wraps her hand around my hardness, tugging gently.

  Fuck. What a relief to have her tiny hand wrapping around me.

  “Did I?” I ask, my voice sounding rough and trying to distract myself at the same time before I go shooting my load all over the car seat.

  “Oh, I should give you a list of all the men I said no to.” She shakes her head pouting, pretending to be in deep thought and I want to kiss those lips.

  “Really?” I ask teasingly. I had missed this side of her where she tortured me as she pretended to be thinking of other things while she knew what she was doing, like that time we went out for drinks and ended up sitting on a table that had this girl who was busy checking me out and while we talked business with the only two guys on that table, Shae’s hand went south on me. She unzipped my jeans and took my dick out and started massaging me right under the table. I believe the faces I made on that day had everyone confused and when I was about to come, she tucked me gently in my boxers and zipped my jeans.

  “Yes, but the problem is…” she lets the words hang and when she doesn’t finish I ask what.

  “What was the problem?” she picks that moment to graze her finger on my slit, spreading the wetness there, that is now dripping like a faucet.

  “Nuh, I’d rather show you.” And that’s Shae for you. Always leaving things hanging in the air. She gently tucks me back in and zips my pants.

  We drive for another twenty minutes before driving into my driveway and parking outside my house. I look at Shae, waiting to see her reaction, but her eyes are looking everywhere but me. I don’t know what must be going through her mind but when she inhales deeply then licks her lips I know I’m a goner. The little thread of patience I had is now gone and my dick presses painfully against my pants.

  That tongue.

  Fuck.

  “Is this your place?” She asks when her eyes find mine then back at my house. I get out of the car, adjusting myself inside my pants and rounding to the passenger side to open her door.

  When I bought this place a few years ago, I wanted a place I could call mine. A place I could look outside my floor to ceiling window and reminisce about all that life has offered me and still lost along the way. I saw it as my comfort place and my home even when it felt empty. Waking up in this part of the mountain where all I can see is the lake from a distance and the wildflowers surrounding it, I can say that did it for me. I was totally sold. I didn’t even give the realtor a hard time trying to convince me into buying the place because I loved everything about
this palace.

  I grab her hand and link our fingers. I love the feeling that she’s here with me. I don’t know how to gauge her mood after the episode she just had in her office but hell, I’m willing to make it right with her this time. I don’t ever want to see her in such a place ever again. It broke my heart to know that I’m the reason she was shedding those tears, but like I said, this time I’m going to make it right for her.

  I inhale deeply, feeling content that she’s here then I remember her question. “Yes, it is,” I say.

  I squeeze her hand and start walking us towards the house. My heart is thumping with every step that I take. I know this is stupid but never, not even once since I bought this place, have I ever bought a woman into my house. Not that that thought never crossed my mind, because it did, but not a single woman was her. Hell, I couldn’t even bring myself to let another woman have my dick between their legs. Why? Because they were not Shae and now that she’s here, I don’t know how I’m supposed to react to all this. Especially these feelings that have driven me insane for far too long. I’m even shocked I can still remember what my name is.

  I turn the key and unlock the front door and walk us inside. Trust me, this place is all me with all the manly stuff that I’ve found myself collecting on every trip that I’ve been to. The living area has a black leather seat with dark wood on the floor. On one wall, I have my favorite painting of my mother. She was the queen of my heart, still is. The only thing that reminds me of how cruel life was for taking her away from me.

  I can’t say much about the rest of the other rooms since most of them are still empty, well, apart from the kitchen and my bedroom. I walk us around the house, watching her take in every room, the simple interior which I’ve been telling myself that I need to do better with but never have time to do anything.

  “I guess you stay here alone.” She says then turns to look at me. The light flooding through the floor to ceiling window in my living room makes the brown in her eyes pop out. Those eyes… Does she even know what they do to me?