Our Fate

by Cathy Johns

  “Yeah,” I say, pulling her towards me. “I know it doesn’t look like much but I’m willing to make it feel like a home and not some bachelor pad,” I add.

  “It sure needs some love,” she states.

  I love her this close to me. Her tiny frame flush against my body, her warmth seeping through the many layers of clothes between us. I’ve been one hell of a stupid fool to have walked out of her life. I still think I am and I don’t deserve her. She can have any man she wants. Even when the thought of her with another man feels like someone is driving a knife right through my heart, twisting it painfully, reminding me how stupid I was to have walked out of her.

  I shake my head vigorously, dismissing those thoughts. No one is going to take her from me. No. One.

  I lift her chin up and gaze down at her before leaning in and crushing my mouth on hers, consuming her. I kiss her like a deprived man, putting all that I’m feeling in that kiss and hoping that she understands what I’m feeling. The way she clings to me, her hands fisting on my shirt, tells me she’s as desperate as I am. It feels like she wants to crawl up my body, which I don’t mind. When I break the kiss so both of us can come up for air, I feel her shiver in my hands. I know she’s not cold, but I can’t help the smile on my face when it hits me that I still have the same effect when it comes to me kissing her.

  I can see I haven’t lost my game even after all this time.

  “You’re beautiful… I mean…” she stumbles over her words making me laugh.

  “I know I’m beautiful,” I tease.

  “I meant your place.” She waves her hand around my living room trying to make a point. I throw my head back and laugh. Fuck, I can’t even remember the last time I laughed so hard like this. Seeing my woman struggle with her words… Yeah, I missed this woman so much.

  “Baby, I know what you meant,” I whisper in her ear the minute I stop laughing. I inhale her deeply before licking a path up her exposed neck to the back of her ear before nipping her earlobe. “You smell so good,” I murmur against her skin and I’m rewarded with a moan. I lay soft kisses on her neck, her body molding into mine. I can feel her nipples pressing against my hard chest and I almost lose it. I need to put a pause before it ends as fast as it began.

  “Let me show you around,” I whisper, pulling away from her before I end up taking her on the floor and hoping she’s going to love the one place that gives me comfort when I think about her.

  I grab a blanket from the back of the chair and start walking towards the back of the house where there’s a magnificent view that faces the lake and the greenery there makes the chaos from the city vanish. I take the path that I know pretty well even with my eyes closed and lead the way, explaining to her the different kind of wildflowers that I have allowed to grow in my compound, the view that faces the lake and the narrow path that leads to the lake. She asks me if I go there to try and catch some fish and I tell her no but intend to soon. We walk further, I keep stealing small glances her way and her face is expressionless.

  I want to know what she’s thinking but I’m answered a little while later when she squeezes my hand. I look down to where we’re linked and just smile. Her pale skin against my golden tan. The way her small fingers feel against my huge palms. Then I take her in, her tiny frame against my so not built body, and just like that I’m reminded of how it used to be back then. The way she felt against my body, her ass pressing against my cock, her back to mine and with my hand cuddling her closer to me as we laid there in bed, listening to her soft snores.

  “I missed you so much.” The words leave my mouth before I can stop them.

  “Not more than me,” she says before turning to look at me with that smile of hers that does things to me.

  “I’m sorry, Shae.” I pull her flush against my body and cup her cheeks which now have more color than they did back in the house. The sun shines brightly above her, making her auburn hair shine. I rake my fingers through it, pulling her curls as I go. I remember looking at it as it pooled around my pillow while I made love to her that last time. “I’m sorry that it took me this long to pull my head out of my ass and admit to myself that my life was empty without you. I’m sorry that it took this long, to have hurt you because I was too afraid to let you in.” I rub my thumb over her heart-shaped lips, remembering how they felt a few minutes ago. “I’m sorry that I made you think that I didn’t want more than what we had. When deep inside my heart, all I wanted was you. I wanted to make you mine, hell, even now I want to make you mine. I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, for being such an ass, for not having the balls to admit it to myself that you’re all that I needed. It doesn’t matter what I have to do but I promise you this, what I feel for you is something that can’t be ignored. I love you, Shae, I love you so much that spending another day without you here in my arms feels like someone is slowly ripping my heart out of my chest. God…” I let the words trail out before leaning in to press my forehead against hers. “Say you want me,” I whisper so softly, not sure she has heard me. “Say you need me… need us like I do.”

  “You know…” she starts to say before swallowing, her eyes taking me in. She places her palm on top of my chest where my heart is then she closes her eyes for a second and when she snaps those beautiful brown eyes of hers open, I see it all. The love, the hope, the passion, the fear… everything is there right in front of me, making me hopeful that we will get through this. “I missed this more than anything.” I want to ask what, but I get my answer when she says. “This heart of yours, this is what has kept me going, this is what kept me from letting anyone inside because it owned me. It owned mine. You owned me, Marcus. It didn’t matter if you spoke the words out loud because I heard every single word that you wanted to say to me. I heard it when you touched me, when you looked at me when you made love to me. Your eyes spoke to me all the time and I didn’t know any better, I can say you were my lifeline.”

  I don’t know what to say. I’m dumbfounded with her confession. She threw me off guard there. I still can’t find the words to say, so I do the only thing that I know. I kiss her softly, making her feel everything in that one soft kiss before pulling from her mouth.

  “I want you, I need you, and I need us. I want all of it. You and me,” she says, her hands coming up to wrap around my neck and a smile spreading on those beautiful heart shaped lips of hers. “I know you have a lot of making up to do, which I know I’m going to love seeing, but I got to admit…” She lets her words hang before cocking her head and taking her lip between her teeth. She looks hot doing that and the things I want to do to that mouth as part of my making it up to her has me straining in my pants. “The makeup sex keeps topping my list.” She winks at me before pulling out of my arms.

  Makeup sex. I guess I should start even now. Picking up the blanket from where it had fallen when I pulled her flush against me, I grab her hand and walk her to where I know the many apologies I’m about to start making starts.

  “You need to slow down, tiger.” I can hear the laughter in her voice when I walk us towards the small gate but all that dies shortly the minute I open the small gate for her and she sees my small field.

  “Marcus…” she whispers my name, her eyes snapping to mine then back to the field. She lets go of my hand and walks further inside. She presses her hand to her mouth and I see her body shake. I know she’s crying but how do you explain having a field full of her favorite flowers in all colors to the woman you haven’t seen for the past three years?

  I walk towards her and wrap my arms around her, so her back is on my chest. She lets me hold her while she lets it all out at the same time wiping the tears that can’t stop falling from her eyes. I hate to see her cry and I know I’ve got some explaining to do.

  “Why?” she asks.

  “Because this made me feel closer to you,” I answer honestly.

  “God, Marcus… This is just too much,” she says, choking on her tears. I turn her in
my arms, so we’re face to face and wipe the tears from her cheeks.

  “I thought you forgot,” she says.

  How could I?

  “How do you forget the favorite flowers of the person you love? How do you forget how their heart-shaped lips would open slightly and soft snores escaped between their lips while they slept? How do you forget how they smelled every time your secretary placed new roses in my office? How do you forget how your body reacted every time they walked into a room and everything around you seemed not to exist? How do you forget how their skin felt against your touch or the way they molded into your body when you cuddled them? How can I forget all that, Shae, baby?” I lean in and press my lips to hers not expecting an answer because I don’t need one right now. Right now, all I need is her. “How do I forget how you used to make me feel when your fingers trailed all over my body? How do I forget how you’d ride me, how you’d let me have my dirty way with you? You’re it for me, Shae. Always have been. Always will be. Forever and ever.”

  “Marcus,” she whimpers. “It’s been three years.”

  “I know, baby. And I have a lot of making up to do for all that time we’ve been apart.” I whisper between our lips.

  She looks around us, taking in the field filled with lilies of all colors then back at me. I let her take me in our eyes communicating in a language that only the heart can understand.

  “Hearts don’t lie, baby,” she says. “I always knew you were it for me from that first time you kissed me and, even when I thought it was too soon to feel anything for a stranger who I had just met, I knew a life without you would kill me and it did, it nearly destroyed me, were it not for my grandparents…” She shakes her head and I see her swallow painfully. I understand but I’m not going to let her go back to that. I’m not letting her go this time and I do the one thing that will make this right even if it’s just for today.

  I kiss her, deeply and passionately, taking everything from that kiss and pouring every emotion into it. I pull her flush against my body, molding our bodies together with no intention of ever letting her go, not that I would but I don’t stop the kiss, not even when I feel my cock press against her stomach or even when her fingers dig into my scalp and tug on my hair painfully. I don’t let go because of her lips on mine… that’s something I know I’ll never get enough of, and so I consume her. Licking, nipping, sucking until I know those sweet lips of hers have felt the wrath of my teeth and the hunger from my mouth taking what it needed.

  I pull away, breaking the kiss in the process, allowing us time to take a breath. I pick up the blanket from the ground and walk us further towards the field, trying to find a place for what I’m about to do next. I spot a place in the middle of the field that is surrounded by all these beautiful colored lilies. Spreading the blanket on the ground, I pull my woman in my arms and kiss her again. This time I take it slow, reminding her of how much I can’t get enough of her. I reach between us and cup her breasts, squeezing them gently which earns me a moan and a tug on my hair. I trail one hand to the side where I know the zip of her dress is and unzip the zipper there. Then I reach for the straps on her shoulders and pull them down her arms, feeling her soft skin against my touch as I go.

  I break the kiss, so I can look at her gorgeous body under the sun. The way the sun shines brightly on her light skin makes her look like some angel standing in a field full of lilies. She’s beautiful and all mine and I’ll do whatever it takes to always have her in my life. I pushed her away once, but I won’t be making the same mistake ever again. I might even be putting a ring on her finger.

  “You’re so beautiful, mi alma,” I murmur, trailing my eyes from her auburn hair to her pink painted toes then back again before stopping at her eyes. “I’ll do whatever it takes to win you back, win your trust, and above all, win that heart of yours.” I lean in and brush my lips against hers and I feel her shiver under my touch. I pull her against my body and deepen the kiss, letting her feel everything that words can’t say because I love her too much, so much that my emotions are out of control when I’m around her and that’s what scared the shit out of me.

  Loving her, having her own my heart… that’s something I never saw happening, but it did, and I lost her because I was a coward and a big fool not to have pulled my head out of my ass when all I wanted was her.

  “It has always been you, Shae.” I nip her lip. “Even in those three years we were apart.” I suck her lip before soothing the swollen lip with my tongue. “You’ve always owned me, even with all the distance between us,” I whisper, brushing my lips against her.

  She fists on my shirt tightly, molding her small frame against mine, her hard peaks pressing through my shirt. She murmurs something I can’t make out before crushing her mouth on mine and taking control, and I let her, feeling all the emotions, the hunger, all the unspoken words in that kiss. She lets go of my shirt and wraps her arms around my neck pulling my head closer like I wasn’t close enough, I cup her ass and lift her up and she automatically wrap her legs around my waist. Her fingers find their way to my hair, tugging on it, deepening the kiss for what feels like hours, before we’re both coming up for air.

  Fuck!

  “I want you,” she whispers in my mouth. “I need you so much, Marcus.” She rubs herself against my bulge, her wetness coating the material. I snap my eyes closed and try to breathe, counting, thinking of unimportant things before I end up coming inside my pants but it’s pointless when she swirls her hips, her pussy rubbing against the tip of my cock and she moans.

  I open my eyes, knowing they are saying everything my body is feeling, only to find her gazing at me, her eyes hooded, saying it all back to me, telling me what she wants, what she needs.

  “How long has it been, mi alma?” I can’t help but ask, trying to cover my jealous tone when I give her one of my smiles that I know she used to love.

  It’s absurd that I even have a right to ask her that when I was the one who walked out of her life. What did I expect, for her to wait for me? Foolish me.

  “Since you,” she answers so softly that if I wasn’t paying attention and wishing to hear that she hasn’t been with any other man I would have missed her response.

  “Baby…” I start to say, still in shock.

  “You ruined me, Marcus. You ruined me for any other man out there. I told you they were not you, no matter how much I tried to let them in.” That’s all I need to hear because I crush my mouth on hers in one bruising kiss before dropping to my knees on the spread blanket and laying my woman beneath me.

  “A lifetime of makeup sex,” I murmur between our lips. “I’m also glad I ruined you for any other man out there.” I chuckle. “Maybe I should be beating on my chest like an ape,” I say, making us both laugh.

  “You’re such a man,” she teases.

  “I’ve always been one the last time I checked.” I nip on her lip, pressing my dick against her pussy and rolling my hips slowly. She arches her back, pushing herself against my cock. “I should remind you how much of a man I am, mi alma,” I whisper in her ear, taking the lobe in my mouth and sucking on it gently before swirling my tongue around the outer shell of her ear.

  “Please,” she begs.

  And begging she does, not once, not even twice, but countless times.

  She begs when I trail my tongue along her neck and nipping gently, sucking, marking her for me, for the whole world to know that she’s mine. She begs when I tease her tits, taking each nipple in my mouth, sucking gently then hard before taking the hard peak between my teeth and biting gently, soothing the ache with my tongue as I continue my adventure on her body.

  God, I had missed her and now she’s here with me, beneath me, her moans and whimpers driving me crazy and I can’t seem to get enough of her.

  I want to remind her who’s body she belongs to. Three years is a long time, not sure how the priests and nuns do it, but I’ve got to admit that’s one hell of a dry spell. I’ll never allow my
self to be in one again but if it comes to my Shae, I’ll do it all over again if it means I’ll still get to have her back in my life.

  Shae

  I don’t know what he’s thinking when his hazel eyes are busy taking me in. I still can’t believe he’s here, or should I say I still can’t believe that I’m here with him, feeling his hands trailing all over my body, his mouth on me, nipping, sucking, licking and kissing me like he can’t get enough of me.

  I’m so close to coming but he’s keeping me on the edge, letting me feel and before I can trip, he pulls away only to start the sweet, delirious torture all over again. He keeps bypassing where I want him to go so badly.

  “Marcus…” I cry.

  “Patience,” he grumbles in that deep sexy voice of his. How can he tell me to be patient when I feel like my body is about to snap in two?

  He licks a line between my thighs, nipping on the skin there before mirroring the same to my other thigh. I’m a lost cause when he rubs his nose on my clit.

  “I want you to feel,” he murmurs against my pussy, his warm breath tickling me there and I almost come. Feel? Does he not know how much I’m feeling him, all of him even with him not thrusting himself inside me?

  Foolish man.

  He’s all I’ve ever felt.

  He fucking owns me.

  Owns my heart.

  Owns my body.

  And now he fucking owns my soul.

  Mi alma.

  “You need to stop playing with me, Marcus. It’s been so long, so fucking long and… Oh, fuck,” I scream when his tongue swipes between my folds up to my clit, before swirling it and sucking it in his mouth.

  My head falls back, my back arches on its own free will, and my legs fall further apart. I know how I must be looking now, laying here beneath him in the middle of a field surrounded by my favorite flowers giving, surrendering myself to the only man who has always made me whole.