Strength of the Heart

by Carrie Carr

"Watch your fucking mouth, asshole," Lex growled, looking down into the terrified face that was beginning to turn a dark shade of red.

  "Lex!" Amanda had grown nervous waiting out in the truck, and had just peeked in the doorway when she saw her lover pin Hubert down. She hurried over and began to pull at Lex's shoulder. "Stop it! You're going to kill him."

  "So?" Lex loosened her grip. "You're not worth the effort it would take to kill you, big brother." She shoved him back.

  Amanda could feel her heartbeat slowly returning to normal. She had come inside at precisely the right moment. She reached over and rubbed Lex's back. "Why don't we go home?"

  Lex watched with a satisfied smirk as her brother struggled to roll his large bulk off the desk. "Might as well. Got no reason to hang around here." She enjoyed the hateful look from Hubert.

  "Bitch. I ought to--"

  "You ought to what?" she asked dangerously, moving closer and causing him to scramble so that the desk was between them. "Face it, Hube. You don't have the guts." Lex purposely turned her back on him and headed for the door. "I'll call you if Dad's condition changes."

  He threw a book at her, missing and hitting the wall next to the doorway. "Don't bother. I could care less what happens to the old bastard," Hubert yelled after the two women. As soon as the front door closed, he pulled up his pants and sniffed. "And stay out, you hateful bitch. Or next time I'll kick your ass!"

  After getting Amanda settled, Lex sat behind the wheel of the truck and closed her eyes. "I could have killed him," she whispered, struggling to control her shaking hands as they gripped the steering wheel. "If you hadn'st come in when you did--"

  "Shhh." Amanda reached over and wrapped her fingers around Lex's forearm. "I don't think you would have. You just didn'st realize what you were doing."

  "No, I knew exactly what I was doing. And I was enjoying it," Lex admitted in a pained voice. Her head dropped forward until it rested on her whitened knuckles. "I completely lost it."

  Amanda unbuckled her seat belt and scooted across the cab until their bodies were touching. She wrapped both arms around Lex and held her. "I don't believe that for a moment. If you had lost it, he would be dead." She placed a kiss on Lex's head. "I don't know how he's stayed alive as long as he has. The man is a complete butt nugget."

  Unable to help herself, Lex chuckled. "He does seem to bring out the worst in everyone around him, doesn'st he?" She turned her head and gave Amanda a kiss on the lips. "Thanks, sweetheart."

  "Any time." Amanda squeezed Lex tightly and pulled back. "Can I interest you in a nice massage when we get home?"

  "Only if I can give you one, too. I think we both could use it."

  "Deal." Amanda buckled her seatbelt and leaned back. "Let's go. Time's a-wasting."

  "Yes, ma'am." Lex drove off into the night, thankful for the gift of the woman by her side.

  ALTHOUGH IT WAS barely after seven in the morning, the well-dressed man who sat across from Rawson looked wide awake. He placed several papers into the expensive leather briefcase that was on his lap. "I'll take care of all the arrangements, Rawson. You don't have a thing to worry about."

  "I really appreciate you doing this for me, Mr. Benton. Especially on such short notice." Rawson was sitting upright in bed, but his features showed a heavy weariness.

  "It's no problem at all. You'sve always used our firm for your legal work, and I'm glad that I could be here to help you." He could tell that the visit had exhausted the ill man and decided it was time to leave. "You have my card, and I've written my home number on the back in case you need me after hours." The lawyer stood and shook Rawson's hand. "If you need anything, please give me a call. Even if you just need to talk."

  Rawson nodded, touched at the gesture. "Thanks, I will. Look out for my daughter, will you? I have a feeling she's going to take this a lot rougher than that boy of mine."

  "I certainly will." The attorney turned and quietly slipped from the room without another word.

  Once alone, Rawson struggled to ignore the pain that wracked his body. He looked down at the blank paper on the table in front of him and picked up a pen. Just as he begun to write, a nurse stepped into the room with a syringe.

  "Since your guest is gone, how about letting me give you something for the pain, Mr. Walters? It's way past due." She reached for the intravenous bag hanging from the stand by his bed, but was halted by a wave of his hand. "What?"

  "Not yet. I've got a letter I want to write, and I don't want to be all doped up."

  "Can'st that wait until later?"

  "No. This is important, and I have to have it done before she gets here." He gasped as another painful spasm hit. "Please. Give me just a few minutes, will you?"

  Temporarily deterred, the nurse acquiesced. "All right. You have about ten minutes, then I'm coming back in here whether you're finished or not."

  "Thanks, miss. I really do appreciate it." He flashed a grateful smile and watched as she left the room. Looking back down at the empty paper, Rawson bit his lip for a moment and then began to write.

  ANNA LEIGH WAS about to climb into her car when a large green truck wheeled into her driveway. She looked up in surprise as Lex jumped out of the vehicle. "Lexington? What are you doing here?"

  "I thought you wanted me to go with you to meet with Brumbaugh." Lex reached Anna's Leigh's side and gave her a quick hug. "That was this morning, wasn'st it?"

  "Well, yes. But your father--"

  "Is resting comfortably," Lex assured her. "I called the hospital before I came over here. He was just given something for the pain, and the nurse said that he'd probably sleep until almost lunchtime." She kept one arm around Amanda's grandmother and gently guided her over to the truck. "I would have been here sooner, but I dropped Amanda off at the office first. She wanted to come, too, but had to meet with some clients this morning."

  Accepting that she had lost the discussion, Anna Leigh got into the truck and waited until Lex sat beside her. She reached over and touched her on the arm. "I'm terribly sorry about your father, dear. This must be hard for you."

  Lex cleared her throat to fight the rising emotion that simple gesture caused. "Yeah, well. It's not like we weren'st expecting it. But thanks." She carefully backed the truck out of the driveway. "Where exactly are we going, anyway?"

  "I suppose that would help, wouldn'st it?" Anna Leigh reached into her purse and pulled out a small piece of paper. "His office is over on Larson Street. Eight twenty-four, to be exact."

  "Okay." Lex headed the pick-up in the proper direction without another word. Anna Leigh covertly kept her eyes on Lex. She had noticed the tense set to the broad shoulders and feared that her granddaughter's lover would buckle under the strain. As the Dodge Ram pulled into the parking lot adjacent to the office building, Anna Leigh patted Lex on the leg. "Are you sure you want to do this, Lexington? I doubt he'll give me much trouble."

  Turning the engine off, Lex twisted around and reached into the back seat for her black cowboy hat. "I'm not about to let you do this alone." She pulled her sunglasses down on her nose and winked. "Let's go get that deed."

  Moments later, both women entered the office of Tanner Brumbaugh. The secretary looked up from her typewriter and smiled at the elegantly dressed older woman. "Hi. May I help you?" Her eyes widened at the grim figure that stood in the background. Lex was dressed completely in black. Her eyes were hidden by mirrored sunglasses and a black hat was pulled low over her brow. With her arms crossed over her chest, she looked quite intimidating.

  "We're here to see Mr. Brumbaugh," Anna Leigh told her. She saw the look on the office worker's face and turned around. "Lexington, relax. You're frightening the poor girl."

  Lex scowled, but uncrossed her arms. "Sorry."

  "D...do you have an appointment?" the secretary stammered, still rattled by Lex's imposing figure.

  "Yes, dear. I'm Anna Leigh Cauble of the Somerville Historical Society." She gestured to the woman behind her. "And this is my granddaughter, Lexing
ton Walters. Is Mr. Brumbaugh in?"

  A reply was rendered unnecessary as a tall, heavyset man stepped from the other room and extended his hand. "Mrs. Cauble, so nice to see you." His oiled dark hair shone brightly under the florescent lights as he crossed the room. Although it was only a few minutes past eight o'clock in the morning, the dark shadow of his beard could already be seen on his face. "Why don't you step into my office, and I'll have my secretary bring us some coffee." He snapped his fingers at the young blonde sitting at the front desk. "Lor, hon, grab us something to drink, will you?"

  Tanner Brumbaugh was reputed to have made most of his money illegally. Up until a few years before, he had run a trucking company out of Houston, but he had sold that business and was more interested in antiques. His paunchy body attested to his soft lifestyle, and the expensive suit he wore strained at the buttons. He held out a chair for Anna Leigh and sat behind the extravagant mahogany desk, not even bothering to look at the somber figure with her. "What's on your mind today, Mrs. Cauble? I was surprised when I found out you had made an appointment to see me. Perhaps you'd like me to find you a rare antique?"

  "No, thank you, Mr. Brumbaugh. I'm here strictly on Historical Society business." Anna Leigh pulled a folded sheet of paper from her purse and slid it across the immaculate desk.

  He took the paper and opened it, frowning as he read it. "What's this?" Wadding the paper up into a ball, Brumbaugh tossed it back onto the desk. "Are you trying to waste my valuable time?"

  Lex stepped forward and placed both hands on the desk, leaning forward until she was certain she had the man's attention. "I don't give a rat's ass about your time, Brumbaugh. We're here to pick up the deed that you promised the Historical Society last year."

  "Who the hell do you think you are?" he growled, jumping to his feet. "Are you trying to intimidate me?"

  A large hand planted itself on his chest and shoved him back into his chair. "Watch your language, asshole." Lex was around the desk before Anna Leigh could stop her. She grabbed the heavy man by the lapels of his jacket and pulled his fat body up out of the leather chair several inches. "I'm not asking you again, buddy. You tried to screw over the wrong people, this time."

  Anna Leigh hurried around the desk and grabbed at Lex's shirt. "Lexington, please! Let go of him this instant."

  With a disgusted snarl, Lex did as she was asked. She lowered her clenched fists to her sides and struggled to control her heavy breathing. What the hell is wrong with me? That's twice in less than two days I've attacked someone. Lex could feel her heart pounding, and a part of her was happy to see the fear cross the man's face.

  Brumbaugh sat up in his chair and shakily tried to straighten his jacket. "Why didn'st you just say so, Mrs. Cauble? I had forgotten all about the deed." He reached down into a desk drawer and flipped through several files, before removing a piece of paper. Handing it to her, Brumbaugh hated to see his hand trembling. "Is this all you need?"

  "Why yes, it is." Anna Leigh checked the deed before putting it away in her purse. She took Lex by the arm and started to pull her from the office. "I'm terribly sorry about all of this, Mr. Brumbaugh."

  "Nothing to apologize for, Mrs. Cauble." The businessman stood, but stayed behind his desk.

  "Come, Lexington." Anna Leigh never released the hold she had on the dark sleeve as they left the office. Once outside, she stopped and turned to face Lex. "What on earth was that all about?"

  Lex shook her head. "Nothing." She took off her hat. "I'm sorry. I honestly don't know what's come over me. Every little thing seems to set me off." Embarrassed by her behavior, Lex couldn'st even look the other woman in the eye. "I did the same thing to Hubert last night. If Amanda hadn'st come in when she did, I could have killed him."

  Anna Leigh could feel her heart breaking at the tone in Lex's voice. "Oh, dearest. I sincerely doubt that." She continued to the truck and waited until Lex was seated next to her. "You're worried and probably exhausted. Were you able to get any sleep last night?"

  "Sleep?"

  "Yes, sleep. It's that other thing you do in bed," Anna Leigh teased. Not getting a response, she changed tactics. "Would you like some company at the hospital? I don't have any other plans this morning."

  "Hospital?" Lex blinked, and then realized what was being offered. "Uh, no." Afraid of how that sounded, she hurried on. "I mean, thanks, but I'll probably spend the whole day there. No sense in you having to do that, too."

  Anna Leigh persisted. "Are you sure? Because I certainly don't mind."

  "I'm sure. If it's okay with you, can I just drop you off at the real estate office? It's only a couple of blocks from here." Tired of conversation, Lex started the truck and pulled back onto the street.

  "That's fine." Anna Leigh reached across the vehicle and grasped the nearest arm. "But remember, your family is here for you when you need us."

  Lex glanced across the truck. "Thanks. That means a lot to me."

  "You're a very important part of our family, Lexington. don't you forget it."

  "I won'st."

  THE AFTERNOON PASSED quietly, as Lex sat solemnly by her father's bedside. He was asleep when she arrived at the hospital, so she spent the time watching the peaceful figure and reminiscing about happier times. She was dismayed at how few of those there had been. A painful gasp from the bed caused her to sit up. "Dad?"

  "Lexington, come here," Rawson murmured, reaching out with one hand to the woman beside the bed. "I need to talk to you, girl."

  "What is it, Dad? Can I get you something?" Lex stood and took his hand.

  "Yeah, you sure can." He struggled to sit up farther. "Help me get out of here."

  "I can'st do that. You're sick, and you need to stay here so that you can get better." The argument sounded weak, even to her ears.

  He squeezed her hand. "We'sve gotten along a lot better since I've been back, haven'st we? No sense in lying, Lexington." Rawson grimaced as another strong wave of pain wracked his weakened body. "I ain'st getting any better, girl. We both know that."

  "Dad," although Lex knew it for the truth, she had trouble accepting his words, "we don't know that for sure."

  "Yes, we do." His eyes took on a glint of their former fire. "I don't want to die in a hospital bed, girl. I haven'st been the best father to you, but don't I deserve a bit of dignity at the end of my miserable life?"

  Tears welled up in her eyes. "Yeah, you do. What do you want me to do?" Lex held her breath. She was afraid of what he might ask of her.

  Rawson saw the tense set of his daughter's shoulders. It took him a long moment before he realized what she must have been thinking. "Hey, nothing like that." He pulled her down until she was sitting on the edge of the bed. "I'm not afraid to die, Lexington. But I'm willing to let the good Lord take me when he has a mind to, not take the matter into my own hands. And I'd surely never ask you to do that."

  Lex slowly released the breath she had been holding. "Okay. So what do you want?"

  "Get me out of this damned hospital."

  "Where do you want to go? Is there someone you want to see, before..." Lex couldn'st bring herself to finish the sentence.

  "I'd like to spend my last days with you, girl. Maybe I can finally get a few things settled, before I go."

  "Okay. I'll bring you home with me."

  "No."

  "But you said--"

  "I want to go back to the ranch, Lexington. I want to die under the stars, like I was meant to." His eyes filled with tears. "Remember the first time I took you camping? We could go back there."

  Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat, Lex closed her eyes. "Yeah, I remember. I was about seven, I think." She opened her eyes and looked at her father. "Are you sure you want to do this? It's a long way from town, and you won'st have a doctor readily available if you need one."

  Rawson forced a smile onto his face. "I'm sure. Just get me out of this place, and I'll feel a lot better."

  "All right." Lex squeezed his hand once more before
she stood. "Let me go find the doctor, so you can tell him what you want."

  When she got to the door, her father's voice caused her to turn back around. "Thanks, Lexington," he rasped, falling back against the pillows. Before he closed his eyes, Rawson smiled at his daughter. "I'm damned proud of you, girl." The frail form in the bed sunk back farther and fell asleep, the smile still gracing his lips.

  Lex bit her lip to hold back the sob caught in her throat. "I love you, Dad," she whispered, before she turned away and left the room.

  Chapter Three

  AMANDA STEPPED ACROSS the unfurled sleeping bag that stretched across the floor, setting the cup of coffee she'd brought for Lex onto the nearby table. The house that they were renting while the ranch house was being rebuilt was cozy, but there wasn'st much space in the small living room. "Are you sure you don't want me to come with you?"

  "Sweetheart, with that cast, you'd be completely miserable out there." Lex brushed her hands over the nylon bag, folding it in half and then rolling it up. She tossed the tied bundle into the corner of the room, where it landed next to a growing pile of supplies. "Besides, we'll probably be out there for a week or two, and I know how busy you'sve been at the office lately."

  "I don't care about the damned office," Amanda groused as she dropped onto the nearby sofa. When she saw the shocked look on her lover's face, she softened her tone. "I care about you. I hate to think about you out there all alone."

  Lex stood and crossed the room to sit next to her. She wrapped an arm around Amanda's shoulders and pulled her close. "I won'st be alone. Dad will be there, too."

  "But he's sick. What if he gets worse? Wouldn'st it be better if you had some help?" Amanda tucked her head against her lover's shoulder.

  "Amanda, listen to me." Lex waited until she was certain she had her attention. "We'sve already talked about this. Dad wants to spend his last days out there. I won'st be coming back until he's--" Her voice broke and tears began to trickle down her face. "God. I don't think I can do this."