Strength of the Heart

by Carrie Carr

  "Lex?" His voice was a bare whisper.

  "Yes, Dad?" Lex had to lean down to hear him. "What--"

  "I love you, girl," Rawson gasped, closing his eyes again.

  She leaned over and kissed his stubbled cheek. "I love you, too, Dad," she murmured. The hand she held went slack, and the sounds of his troubled breathing stopped. She gently released her grip and

  looked down into her father's face. For the first time since he had returned home, Rawson looked at peace. "Tell Momma and Grandma Lanie hello for me," Lex whispered as tears fell down her cheeks.

  Chapter Four

  "AND SO WE return to this earth, a good man and a loving father. Rawson Lee Walters, go with God, and join your beloved wife and son who went before you." The minister closed his Bible and turned to the somber figure standing alone on one side of the gaping hole in the ground. "May God watch over and comfort you," he murmured, gently shaking the quiet man's hand.

  "Thank you, Reverend. I'm sure my father would have been pleased with the ceremony." Hubert looked down into the ground where the casket lay. "I'm just thankful that he's no longer in pain." Being the oldest, he figured that since Rawson was dead, the reading of the will would give him ownership of the ranch. He watched as the clergyman walked over to where his sister was standing. Her housekeeper and Amanda flanked Lex, and several older people stood closely behind her as she focused quietly on the casket.

  The overcast sky appeared as if it would split open and rain at any minute, although the temperature on that April afternoon was almost sixty degrees. Amanda was thankful that she had listened to her grandmother and worn the outfit that she had. The simple black dress had long sleeves and dropped to just below her knees. Although her cast had been removed two days earlier, she favored the leg. She squeezed Lex's hand in sympathy, knowing that the past week had been extremely hard on her partner.

  Lex stood between Martha and Amanda, her eyes covered by mirrored sunglasses. She was dressed completely in black: boots, slacks, tab-collared shirt, and a new black duster, which she had draped over one arm. Turning to Amanda, she studied her face. "Are you okay? Do you need to go sit?" At the negative shake of Amanda's head, she smiled slightly. "Okay. But tell me the minute you need to, all right?"

  "I will, love." Amanda watched as Lex stared at Hubert, who was accepting the condolences of several of his friends. "Are you okay?"

  "Yeah. Just thinking. I can'st believe that he would have the nerve to show up here today, considering--" Lex bit back the rest of her sentence as the minister stepped in front of her, a serious expression on his wrinkled face.

  The white-haired man looked pointedly at her hand, which held Amanda's, and cocked his head to one side. "Lexington. I see you haven'st changed much," he observed.

  Feeling her lover stiffen, Lex squeezed her hand again. "Actually, I have. This is my fiancée, Amanda Cauble. Amanda, this is Reverend Hampton."

  "Fiancée?" The clergyman smiled. "Well, then, that changes things." He extended one hand toward Amanda. "How do you do, Miss Cauble. I'm very pleased to meet you." Turning his attention back to Lex, he grasped her arm gently. "I'm really sorry about your father, Lex. If you need to talk, I'm here for you." With a quick squeeze of her arm, he was gone.

  "What was that all about, Lex?" Amanda asked, watching the minister navigate through the crowd. "Nice man, though."

  "He's been trying to get me to settle down for years." Lex stood a bit taller as Hubert came toward them. "Great." A warm hand on her shoulder caused her to turn around.

  "Do you want me to take care of this?" Charlie asked. He had been standing behind Martha, quietly watching the entire ceremony. "He's supposed to stay away from you, due to the court order." Hubert was out on bail, awaiting trial for his part in the accident that injured Lex and Amanda on New Year's morning.

  "No. Let's just see what he wants."

  Hubert stopped in front of Lex. "Hello, little sister. You're looking well." He winked at Amanda and made a show of looking up and down her body. "Hey, babe. Nice legs."

  Lex surged forward, barely held in check by the two women next to her. "Watch your damned mouth." She shook off the restraining hands and took a calming breath. "What do you want, Hube?"

  "Nothing. Just wanted to see how my little sister was doing. There's no law against that, is there?" He looked smugly at the sheriff, who was standing behind Lex. "You're not going to enforce that stupid restraining order, are you? We are family, after all."

  Charlie gently shouldered Lex aside to stand in front of her. "That's exactly what I'm going to do. You have exactly ten seconds to step back, or I'll arrest you right here."

  Hubert held up his hands defensively. "Don't get your shorts in a wad, old man. I'm going." He blew a kiss at Lex, then turned and left.

  "What a jerk," Amanda growled. "I wish that there was some way to keep him in jail. Preferably with a boyfriend called Bubba." Her head twisted around when she heard Lex's chuckle. "What?"

  Lex shook her head. "Nothing." She leaned close and kissed the top of Amanda's head. "Could you do me a favor?"

  "Sure. What do you need?"

  "Could you try to get Grandpa to sit? He's not looking too well," Lex observed. They both turned to see Travis standing by the headstone of Lex's mother, his daughter Victoria. "I think this is bothering him a lot more than he's letting on." She also hoped if Amanda was charged with taking care of Travis, she's also get some rest.

  "Of course I will." Amanda patted Lex on the arm and slowly made her way over to where Travis stood.

  He raised his head when he heard quiet footsteps behind him. "Oh, Amanda. How are you doing, sweetheart?" He glanced over her shoulder at his granddaughter, who was accepting words of condolence from several people. "I thought you'd be with Lexie."

  Amanda wrapped her fingers around his arm. "Well, to tell you the truth, my leg is a little achy. And Lex needs to talk with people before she can leave. I was hoping that you'd walk me to the truck so that we could sit."

  "Of course." Travis led her through the sparse gathering until they reached Lex's truck. He opened the front passenger door, placed his hands around Amanda's waist and partially lifted her onto the seat. "How's that?"

  "Much better, thank you." She gestured to the back seat. "Would it be too much to ask for you to stay and keep me company?"

  With a shake of his head, Travis opened the back door and climbed into the truck. "Subtle. I almost fell for it, too."

  Anna Leigh watched from her vantage point on the other side of the mourners as her granddaughter allowed Travis to escort her to the truck. She turned to her husband. "Do you think Mandy is all right? I never thought I'd see her leave Lexington's side."

  "I think she's fine. But if you want, we can go over and check for ourselves." Jacob noticed the slight slump to Lex's posture and nodded over in her direction. "Although I think that Lex is the one who needs us."

  "You're right. Let's go see if we can rescue her from the good intentions of the crowd." Anna Leigh linked her arm through her husband's and steered him through the group of people surrounding Lex. "Excuse us, please."

  Lex nodded her head. "Yes, ma'am. I'll keep that in mind," she assured the well-meaning matron in front of her. "Thank you for your kind offer." The woman was the owner of the rental house that Lex and Amanda were staying in temporarily while the ranch house was being rebuilt. She had assured Lex that she would be glad to sell her the property at a very fair price if she wanted to keep a place in town. Lex looked into the friendly faces in front of her. "Hi. Amanda's over--"

  "We saw her and Travis head for the truck." Jacob pulled Lex into a hug and whispered into her ear. "Why don't you come back to our place for a while? I think you could use the peace and quiet." He knew as well as Lex did that the Ladies Auxiliary had arranged a covered dish dinner at the rental house, and that the small home would be swarming with well-meaning people.

  "Thanks. But I'd hate to disappoint the ladies, especially after all their ha
rd work."

  "Don't you worry yourself about them, Lexie." Martha had been standing by quietly, trying to figure out how to steal her away. "Charlie and I will go over and take care of things. There's no sense in you wearing yourself out any more than you all ready have." She pulled the sunglasses from Lex's face. Her heart ached at the dark circles and pain reflected in the normally bright eyes. "Let me handle this for you."

  Lex felt her resolve crumble, and quickly replaced the glasses before anyone could see the tears filling her eyes. "Thanks, Martha." She leaned down and kissed her cheek. "Will you come by later?"

  "Of course we will. Let us get things organized at the house, and we'll be over." She brushed the dark hair away from Lex's face. "Go on. I'll see you in a little while."

  "Okay," Lex sniffled and went to her truck, politely waving off well-wishers along the way.

  AMANDA STOOD AT the kitchen window looking out over the back yard. Her eyes followed every movement of the solitary figure that was clearing dead limbs from the newly budding trees. A light touch on her back caused her to gasp and turn around. "Gramma. You scared me half to death."

  "I'm sorry, dearest. I didn'st mean to startle you." Anna Leigh glanced through the window. "I see she's still at it. Maybe I should go have a talk with her."

  Amanda grasped her grandmother's arm. "No, I think she needs some time alone." She turned her attention back outside. "She's not been herself since her father died. I'm not sure what they talked about, but something's bothering her." Silent tears tracked down her face as she continued to keep a watchful eye on her partner.

  Anna Leigh put her arm around her granddaughter's shoulder and leaned her head against Amanda's. "You understand her best, Mandy. Just realize if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here." She kissed Amanda's cheek and stepped back. "Don't let her stay out there too much longer. I'm afraid we won'st have any trees left." With a smile and a slight wave, Anna Leigh left the kitchen.

  "I wish I knew what was going on in that beautiful head of hers," Amanda mumbled as her lover tied another bundle of dead branches with twine.

  Lex wore a faded pair of jeans and a black tee shirt, with her black hat crammed tightly on her head. The late afternoon sun had broken through the clouds, and the humidity had caused her dark hair to paste itself to her damp skin. She stood and braced her hands against the small of her back and bent backward until she heard the popping of her spine. "Damn, I'm out of shape," she grumbled, wincing at the tightness in her muscles. Lex gathered the bundles of tree limbs and stacked them neatly in one corner of the yard. Her eyes were focused on one of the stacks of wood, while recent memories assaulted her mind.

  Tears trickled down her face as she remembered her father's final wishes. Rawson had only lived for one more day after his discharge from the hospital, and Lex continually wondered if she had somehow inadvertently contributed to his sudden death. She angrily wiped her face on her shoulder as she continued to stack the wood. "I'm sorry, Dad. I guess I failed you somehow."

  "I don't think so, honey," a deep voice from behind her answered.

  Lex spun around to see her grandfather standing by the fence. "Grandpa, umm, what are you doing out here?"

  He stepped forward and pulled a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe her tear-stained face. "I was going to ask you the same thing." Travis looked at the large pile of wood. "I hope you left a few of the trees standing."

  "I overheard Jacob saying something about hiring someone to clear out all the dead limbs. Figured I could save him some money."

  "Uh-huh. And this had to be done today?" Travis wasn'st convinced. "What's going on with you?"

  She edged by him. "Nothing. You'll have to excuse me. I want to get these tools put away before I forget."

  Travis watched his granddaughter walk through the picket gate. He shook his head sadly and walked back to the house.

  "WELL? WHAT DID the judge say?" Hubert asked the man across the table from him.

  Kirk Trumbull shook his head. "He says your confession at the church was more than enough to hold you over for trial." He took another bite of his hamburger. They were sitting in the back of the diner, his client having offered to buy the meal. "He also told me that if I disturbed him one more time before the trial, he'd have me locked up for contempt of court." Judge Packer had a very low tolerance level for the lawyer and had butted heads with him on more than one occasion.

  "Obnoxious old fart," Hubert grumbled. "Doesn'st he realize that I'm in mourning over my father's death?" He grinned at his friend. "That should be good for a little sympathy, shouldn'st it?"

  "Not really. He's already postponed the trial because of your father's illness, although I think he did it more for your sister's sake than yours." Kirk waved a greasy French fry in the air. "I don't think you'll be looking at jail time, anyway. They weren'st seriously hurt, and the sheriff hasn'st found the truck or the men actually responsible for the accident."

  "Good point. Have you heard anything back from my sister's lawyer? I thought you were going to try to get her to drop the charges, so we wouldn'st have to go through this whole fiasco." Hubert leaned back in his seat and belched. "This would be a good time to talk to her, since she's upset about our old man."

  Reaching for his glass of water, Kirk shook his head. "You're going to have to at least act a bit more upset, Hubert. You can never be sure who's going to be on the jury. If someone hears you talking like that, it could really screw up our chances for an acquittal."

  "Don't get your hackles up, Kirk old boy. I've got a few ideas on how to handle my sister. I'll come out of this looking like a saint." He quieted as the waitress stopped at the table.

  "Can I get you fellas anything else today?" Francine gave the two men her best professional smile. At the negative shakes of their heads, she scribbled the total onto the piece of paper in her hands and dropped it on the table. "Thanks for stopping in." She quickly left the area, feeling a chill run down her back at looking into Hubert's eyes. She hurried to the kitchen, intent on washing her hands. Again.

  AMANDA SAT BY herself in the dark living room. "I don't know what I'm going to do," she lamented. Her eyes looked at the ceiling as the knot in her chest tightened. "I'm feeling a bit out of my league, here."

  "You're not alone. There's quite a few of us around who would like to help you, if you'll let us." Martha stepped into the den. The only light was coming through the windows from the setting sun, and dark shadows filled the room. She sat on the sofa and patted Amanda's leg. "Have you talked to her?"

  "Every time I try, she jumps up and finds something else to do. I haven'st gotten more than a couple of sentences out of her since she brought her father's body back." With tears spilling down her cheeks, she looked over at Martha. "I'm so worried about her. I've never seen Lex so withdrawn."

  Martha pulled a handkerchief from her dress and dabbed at Amanda's eyes. "I swear, if the man wasn'st already dead, I'd probably kill him myself for what he's put my girl through. He had no right to ask that of Lexie."

  "Didn'st he?" a strangled voice whispered from the doorway. Lex stepped into the room until she could make out the features of both women.

  "Oh, baby. How long have you been standing there?" Martha started to rise, but stopped when Lex backed away.

  "Long enough to hear what you said about my father." She moved over to the window and looked outside. "No one was more surprised than I when he came back into my life," Lex murmured, almost to herself. "All I could think about was what could I do to keep him from leaving me again?" She cleared her throat before she turned back around. "When he told me he was dying, I felt like someone had kicked me in the gut. He was going to leave again, and there wasn'st a damned thing I could do about it."

  Amanda stood and went over to Lex. "Oh, honey."

  Lex held up a hand and looked back at Martha. "When he asked me to take him out of the hospital, how could I refuse? I wouldn'st want to spend my last days cooped up inside, either. I figured that maybe this
was my chance to do something for him--something he would finally love me for." Her voice broke. "For the first time in my life, I felt as if I mattered to him." She wiped her eyes with the heel of one hand as she searched the room. "I can'st--" Lex hurried from the room, slamming the front door behind her seconds later.

  "Lex, wait." Amanda chased after her, stopping at the closed door. She turned and looked at Martha, who was standing in the hallway with a sad look on her face. "I've got to go find her."

  Martha nodded. "We'll both go. There are a couple of places she might have gone."

  "HEY THERE. don't think I've seen you in here for quite some time." The blonde sat on the stool next to the quiet woman.

  Blue eyes took in the relaxed form, noticing how the tight sweater showed off the woman's considerable assets. "Been a while, Francine." Lex raised her bottle of beer and took a healthy swallow. "You trolling for playmates?"

  Painted red lips formed a small pout. "I wouldn'st call it that, exactly. We had some good times in here, didn'st we?" She leaned in closer to Lex and ran a long fingernail down Lex's cheek. "Want to buy me a drink, for old times sake?"

  "Not particularly, Fran. I'd really like to be left alone, if you don't mind." Lex brushed the finger away from her face and studied her half-empty beer. What in the hell are you doing here, Lexington? Do you think that running away solves anything? Amanda's probably worried sick about you. "Shut up," she grumbled, taking another deep drink.

  "Come on. How about a run on the dance floor? You used to love to dance." Francine stood and ran her hands down the strong back.

  Lex spun around on the barstool and grabbed the woman's hands. "I told you to back off, Francine!" she yelled, pushing her away.