Harbour of Refuge

by Aliyah Burke

  “Halyn, I get it that you’re pissed at me. I fucked up. I’m sorry and we need to talk about that, but right now I need to know you’re okay. Call me and let me know or I’m driving up to your place.”

  After swallowing down the rest of her tea, she called him back.

  “Christ, I’ve been worried about you,” he said by way of answering. “Are you okay?” His voice flowed over her, tempting her. She shivered and squeezed her legs together to stop the pulsing in her clit, just from hearing him.

  “I’m fine. No need to worry.”

  “Halyn—”

  “I need to go, have some things to do in case I lose electricity.” Blinking back her tears of frustration, she hung up the phone. No matter how she tried, she just couldn’t forget the derision in his tone when he threw her inability to have children back in her face.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Over a week. It had been ten days since he’d seen or even talked to Halyn. Enzo wasn’t happy at all. The snow in town had cleared finally and he had taken a short trip after dropping Liev off at school.

  Finally the door opened and he found himself facing Mila. Her eyes widened a bit as she recognised him. “Enzo. Please come in.”

  He trailed her to the living room. “I’m sorry to bother you, Mila, but have you heard from Halyn?”

  Joe walked in the room. “Who was at the door, babe?” He spied him. “Enzo. What are you doing here? Everything okay?”

  He had come to like Mila’s man, aware now he flirted with everyone, so no longer was bothered by how much he looked at Halyn. Joe treated Mila well and seemed to make her happy. “Just checking to see if she’d heard from Halyn. Stopped by because I didn’t have a number to call.”

  “I talked to her yesterday,” Mila offered. “She didn’t say anything was wrong, other than the snow blocking her in. Did you call her cell? I know she lost her landline, but her cell is working fine.”

  “I left a message.” He wondered if maybe Halyn hadn’t said anything to Mila, because she didn’t seem aware of what he’d said. Or of Halyn’s feelings.

  “I know she’s been”—she paused to kiss Joe—“catching up on some things which have been neglected for so long. Bye, honey, I’ll see you tonight.”

  “Bye, babe. Enzo, good to see you again, sorry I can’t stay.” Joe left with a wave and he turned back to find Mila watching him with confusion.

  “What’s going on?”

  “She didn’t tell you? About what happened a week ago?”

  “No, we had a get-together here where I announced my engagement to Joe. So we talked about the wedding, kids and all that.” She crossed her arms. “What did you do to her?”

  “Something stupid.”

  She strode towards him, eyes darkening dangerously. “When was the last time you talked to her?”

  “A week ago.”

  “What the hell did you do that would keep her from telling me what was going on?”

  “I”—he shook his head—“it’s between me and Halyn. I just had to make sure she was okay.”

  Mila went to the door and opened it. “If you wanted it between you and Halyn, you should not have mentioned it to me. Because now I’m going to ask her.”

  He moved quickly, getting into her personal space. “Don’t.” The word came out harsher than he’d intended, but to her credit she didn’t back up. In fact, her gaze narrowed on his sharply.

  “Why shouldn’t I? She’s my best friend, if you’ve done something to hurt her I want to know.”

  “Don’t you think if she’d wanted you to know she would have told you?”

  “Perhaps, then again, maybe she didn’t want to dampen the mood of the party and my announcement.”

  “Please, Mila. Give me a chance to talk to her. I didn’t come here to get you involved, I only wanted to make sure she was okay.”

  “I became involved the second you knocked on my door. I’ll give you twenty-four hours and then I’m going to talk to her and ask what the hell is going on between you two.”

  It wasn’t an idle threat, he knew she would do that exact thing. “Fair enough. I’ll head to her place now.”

  “Do what you have to, just know I’ll do what I must.”

  He nodded and walked out. Checking the time, he drove up towards her house, grateful for his Subaru with its all-wheel drive. Her driveway had been shovelled and it was fairly easy to park. Sticky, fat snowflakes still fell from the grey sky. If the weather report was to be trusted, they could expect this for a few more days. A thin line of smoke wafted up from her chimney.

  He pressed her doorbell and waited for her to answer.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  It didn’t escape his notice that even while her voice seemed lacking in emotion, she still stepped back to allow him entrance to her home.

  “We need to talk.” He closed the door behind him, never once taking his gaze from her face.

  “I don’t think so. You’ve said more than enough.”

  “No, Halyn. You don’t get to push me away without letting me explain.”

  Her eyebrows rose. “I don’t get to? Really? So you’re telling me what I can and can’t do now. Is that how it is? Should I pack up my house and follow you around like a lovesick puppy because you can’t grow up and take responsibility for your son? You still want to party like you’re a single man with no one depending on you?”

  Okay, so she wasn’t as docile as he’d thought she’d be after her refusal to have a confrontation before. Part of him was glad—he didn’t want a woman who would roll over and let him walk all over her. He wanted one who would be a partner, not a doormat. He wanted Halyn.

  “You know that’s not what I meant, Halyn.”

  “You seem to say a lot of things you suddenly don’t mean after you’ve spit them out.”

  Ouch. That one hurt.

  “I might have deserved that one.”

  He hung his jacket on the coat rack. The house was warm and inviting. He loved her place, it reflected her—open, caring, loving and more.

  “Will you give me the chance to explain?”

  She crossed her arms. “Please do. I’d love to see how you explain away throwing what you did in my face.”

  He hadn’t expected this to be easy, but hadn’t thought it would be like trying to sneak ice water into hell, either.

  “Can we sit?”

  “Do you think it’ll take that long?”

  He ground his jaw. Her goal was obvious, she wanted to piss him off. He wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction—he could take whatever she dished out. But he wasn’t leaving until they got this straightened out.

  “Sit.”

  She shrugged as if she didn’t have a care in the world and went to the large recliner. “Say what you want.” Legs curled beneath her, she watched him.

  All right. He moved to the sofa only to sit on her coffee table so he could—should he want to—reach out and touch her.

  “I am so sorry I said what I did. I was angry because you were so spot on with what you’d said.”

  “Fine.”

  Fine. What does that mean? “Halyn, you have to know I would never intentionally hurt you.”

  “Intentional or not, Enzo, it happened. I am not a big star, or a model like most women you date. I’m just an only child from a small town, Elave. I’m not a woman you can buy shiny things for and make whatever happen disappear. I’m a person, I deserve to be respected. What you said…” She shook her head. “I don’t need that in my life.”

  “Halyn.”

  She repeated the motion and stood before slipping by him to the door. “I’m sorry, Enzo. I don’t think you’re in a place where you know what you want. I need to get out before I get hurt anymore. I think… I think it best we don’t see one another anymore.”

  It took a few seconds before her words sank in. Even then, he didn’t want to believe it.

  Turning his head, he watched her. One arm bisecting her body a
s if warding off a chill. Zero expression on her face. He wanted to go to her, shake her and kiss her until she realised they were made to be together. However, he’d never forced himself on a woman and he’d be damned if he would do it now. She still needed some time to cool down.

  This trip had not gone at all as he’d planned. In his mind, it had ended with them in bed together. He pushed to his feet and made his way to her. She didn’t back away, just tipped her head so she could meet his gaze.

  “Is that what you really want?”

  “I think it for the best.”

  That wasn’t an affirmative response. He pressed a palm against the wall behind her, lowering his head until they were nose to nose.

  “You need some time. I get that. I’ll even give it to you, but if you think I’m going to just walk away from you and lose what we have, you should think again. We’re better than just good together, Halyn. We’re fuckin’ awesome. You know it. I know it.”

  She swallowed and he brushed his cheek along hers.

  “Not just in bed where we rock, but everywhere. But I get it, you want some time. I won’t give you much, but I’ll give you some.” He flicked his tongue out, trailing it along the whorl of her ear. “Then when you come back, I’m going to strip you naked, lick every single inch of your delectable skin before burying my head between your legs and feasting until you can’t come any more. Then and only then am I going to slide my cock inside you and fuck you until neither of us can move.”

  Her breath left her in a small rush. He nipped the side of her neck. “Think about me while you figure out what you truly want, Halyn.”

  “I think you need to figure out what it is you want, Enzo.” Her words were slightly breathy but they were solid. “Liev should come first in your life. I hope you make the right decision with him.”

  “Are you going to go back to a world without someone else in it?”

  “I can get myself off just fine if that’s what I need.”

  His cock pressed hard against his pants. “I know you can. I love watching you bring yourself to completion. One of the most sexy sights in the world.”

  He kissed her. It wasn’t gentle but he didn’t want her to think it would be easy to replace him. He thrust his tongue in her mouth, stroking the top and sides. Her explosive response rocked him to the core.

  “We’re not finished, Halyn.” His words were deep, gravelled. He whirled around and left before he ripped her clothes off. There were no looks back and he didn’t slow. Driving through the snow gave him a bit of time to cool down before he made it back to town.

  This was going to fucking suck. You need to figure out what it is you want, Enzo. Her words haunted him. He wanted her. To race. And his son. In his apartment, he gazed around and realised it was time for him to make his decision. She was right. And no matter how powerful their attraction was to one another, Halyn wasn’t about to go back on her own beliefs. And if he were honest with himself, he didn’t want her to. So despite his annoyance at her suggestion he didn’t know what he wanted in life, he reached for his phone. It was time to grow up.

  * * * *

  Halyn wiped the sweat from her face and kept going. She loved biking in the mountains but the altitude never failed to kick her butt. Winter and spring had both come and gone. Enzo had also gone. He was back on the circuit for his races. Summer was upon them now.

  She didn’t follow the races, it hadn’t been easy when she realised he was gone. For the best, she continually told herself. Didn’t matter. Those words did not make anything easier for her.

  You miss him.

  No shit. It didn’t take a genius to figure that out. She and Mila had talked about what he’d said and she’d finally moved past it. As he’d said, he’d not meant to say those words. If it had been anything else, she probably wouldn’t have given it a second thought. But those words, from him, had cut her so deep. She would love to be able to carry a baby of her own.

  Shaking her head to rid herself of the memories, she focused on the road before her. She’d only ridden about one hundred miles today but she was dragging. It had been a long time since her last ride— that and the altitude, plus the fact she was tired, was getting to her. A glance down at her bike computer told her she had twenty miles to go until she reached her car.

  In one ear her music blared. She didn’t ride with them both in, not when she was on the road—she wanted to be able to hear traffic. Taking a drink, she continued on, enjoying her day off and time away from the city. Enjoyment or not, she couldn’t lie and say she wasn’t thrilled to see the turn off to where she parked.

  Joe had lent her his truck so she didn’t have to put the bike in the back of her car. What did surprise her was who lingered near her truck. Jaydee Cassano, on the back of a yellow and black Ninja, arms crossed over her unzipped leather jacket.

  Feeling decidedly frumpy next to this woman, she unbuckled her helmet and wiped the sweat from her face. “Hi, Jaydee. What are you doing up here?” She moved to the back of the truck and lowered the tailgate. “Everything okay with everyone?”

  “Can we talk?”

  Hefting the bike in the bed, she paused then slammed the door on it and tossed her helmet in as well. “Sure. Here? Or was there somewhere else you wanted to do this?” Opening the cab, she grabbed a sports drink from the cooler on the floorboard and drank half, feeling better as the liquid replenished her.

  “I believed you would like to shower and change first, but here is fine with me.”

  Halyn forgot how direct Jaydee could be. “There’s a small cafe about ten minutes up the road from here, The Last Stop. We can go there, if you don’t mind me wearing this.” She gestured at her pink, grey and white argyle print, with contrast piping cycling jersey and black shorts.

  “How does your outfit affect your ability to talk?”

  Hiding her grin, Halyn shook her head. “It doesn’t. Let’s go.” Hopping into the front, she started the truck. The roar of a motorcycle beside her had her glancing over to the woman straddling the machine and putting on her helmet. Halyn noticed her jacket was now zipped to her chin.

  Hunger had surfaced by the time she pulled in the small parking lot. She knew this place well, having been eating here for a few years now. Grabbing her wallet, Halyn jumped out then met Jaydee as they entered.

  “Hi, Halyn!” A svelte blonde waved at them.

  “Josie, good to see you. How are things?”

  “Good here. Been a while since we’ve seen you.”

  “I know, staying busy so I don’t get into trouble.”

  “I know how that goes. Just the two of you today?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Well, we’re slow so grab wherever, I’ll be by in a few to take your order.”

  Swiping a menu, she led the way to a booth. “This work for you?”

  Jaydee slid in, helmet off, then removed her jacket. Halyn claimed the other side and pushed a menu in front of Jaydee. Halyn didn’t need to open it—she got the same thing each time she came.

  Josie took their order then left them alone. Drinking her water, Halyn waited for Jaydee to say whatever was on her mind. She didn’t speak until Josie stopped by to refill her drink.

  “Do you love Enzo?”

  She choked. Halyn sputtered, setting her cup down and wiping her eyes. “I’m sorry?”

  Her expression unreadable, Jaydee watched her. “Do you not love Enzo?”

  What the hell did she say to that? And why did she feel like this was some sort of test she had to pass?

  “Why?” There. That was a fair response.

  “I am trying to understand why the two of you stopped dating.”

  “And my status of dating or not dating him concerns you?”

  “No.” That answer came very fast. “My concern is for Enzo.”

  Nothing like being blunt. Halyn reached for her drink again. “I see.”

  Jaydee shrugged. “Apparently, since he is family, I should be concerned. My husband refu
sed to ask you himself.”

  The light bulb came on. This was supposed to be a fishing expedition, but Gio had forgotten that Jaydee was too straight of a shooter to play those games. He got to see the side of Jaydee no one else did.

  “So he sent you in his stead.”

  “I guess he thought there would be some female bonding or something.” Another lazy lift of one shoulder.

  “But you don’t care.”

  “No. He is a grown man, you’re a grown woman. I fail to see why I need to get involved.”

  She couldn’t stop her smile. “How about we don’t involve you and just have lunch?”

  “And after you will supply me a suitable answer to tell my husband?”

  “Deal.”

  They enjoyed their meal and as she placed her fork down on the plate, Josie showed back up again.

  “Dessert?”

  Halyn deferred to Jaydee. “No, thank you.”

  “I’d like a brownie, Josie.”

  “Of course, doll. Coming right up.” She walked off again.

  “How is he?” Halyn asked, biting the bullet.

  Her lunch companion seemed to think about it for a few before she answered. “He is staying busy with his racing. To me he sounds sad when he calls, but he tries to cover it up.”

  “Sorry to hear that.”

  “Why?” Genuine curiosity filled her expression.

  Excellent question. Why was she sorry? She hadn’t a blipping clue. Shrugging, she smiled slightly. “Not sure. Just seemed like the thing to say.”

  “Interesting.”

  Once Josie delivered her brownie, she made short work of it. This was her vice, she loved their brownies. She’d not been able to leave without having once since that first day she tried it. They didn’t speak until she finished eating. Halyn noticed how it never seemed to bother Jaydee to be silent. She liked that about her. Many people needed to have conversation to fill the quiet. Personally, she preferred to eat when it was time.

  Washing the brownie down with the rest of her water, she readjusted on the seat. “You can tell your husband that I’ve not talked to Enzo since he left. We’re not a couple any longer.”