Fix Me

by Aubry, A

  I held onto my tears until my teeth were brushed and I had swished some Listerine in my mouth. My mother had gone back to my apartment to freshen up, Tabby offering to take her there and stay with her when she came to visit. Angie was a wreck when she showed up and saw that I was awake now. She was my emergency contact since I didn’t have any family in the area, so she was the first one to see me passed out, battered, and bruised. I thanked her over and over for being there, and for finding a way to get ahold of Finn. Collapsing on the floor in my towel, I let out my cries once again.

  How could this happen to me? Why did Michael choose me? He could have had anybody after I broke up with him, did he just like that I was a challenge all of a sudden? I was such a quiet, keep to myself person. Things like this were not supposed to happen to people like me.

  Finn was at my side on the bathroom floor. The Culver’s bag sitting up on the vanity telling me he had just gotten back.

  He held me tight, “It’s okay baby, I’m here…I’m here.”

  The words seemed to make me cry harder as they clashed with the words that Michael had said to me before he tried to rape me.

  “Little Mr. Perfect isn’t going to come save you now.”

  But Michael was wrong, Finn had come to save me. Finn loved me, he respected me. He would always be there when I needed him.

  “Why me?” I wiped my tears from my face as I sat back up, “Why did he have to come after me?”

  “Love can make people do crazy things,” Finn whispered as he helped me wipe my tears.

  “He didn’t love me though…he couldn’t have loved me. You showed me what it is like to be loved by somebody and what he did to me was nothing like what you do,” I looked into his eyes.

  “That’s because he believed lust was love. I love you wholeheartedly…that’s the difference.” He brushed his thumb across my lips.

  “I love you, Finn. You saved me, you gave me strength when I needed it most,” I admitted.

  “I love you too, Julianna. But it wasn’t me who gave you the strength, you’ve always had it in you.”

  I groaned and kissed him as passionately as I had wanted to the second I saw him walk into my hospital room after I woke up. He laid me back on the cool tiled floor, covering my body with his.

  “Lock the door,” I whispered against his lips.

  “Are you sure?” He pulled back, searching my eyes.

  “Just lock the fucking door, McAllister,” I smiled playfully.

  He got up to lock the handle on the door and came back down over me. I untied my towel and laid it out underneath me, a makeshift blanket. My hands lifted his shirt over his head as his worked to take off his pants and boxers. Finn kneeled between my legs, taking my arm with the bruises, he brought the marks to his lips, kissing away the pain. His lips moved to the small cut on my cheek, soothing me. He then leaned down over me, his lips moving to my neck, kissing each individual finger shaped oval. I groaned and leaned my head against the floor, a hand tracing up his back.

  “You know, I didn’t bring a condom with me,” he softly chuckled against my neck.

  “I haven’t taken my pill since Saturday night unless they’ve secretly been feeding it to me through the IV,” I sighed. This was where he was going to stop it. He didn’t want to risk me getting pregnant.

  “Let’s take our chances,” Finn mumbled as he quickly thrust his cock into me.

  His answer surprised me, but it didn’t seem like it surprised him. I needed this though, I needed to feel loved and my body needed to be worshipped after all the pain it had gone through. And that was what Finn did right there on the bathroom floor of my hospital room. His lips covered mine as our moans met each other. It had only been four days since we had sex and yet, it felt like our bodies were yearning for each other as he made love to me. The second that my orgasm hit, I knew I was going to be Finn’s for the rest of my life.

  A month had passed since the attack and I had never felt better. My bruises had faded, Michael was locked up with no allowed bail until his trial, and Finn was still the most doting boyfriend a girl could have. He finally came to his senses after I was released from the hospital and went back to join his team for the rest of preseason. Since then, he had two away games. But today was the first official home game of the season.

  At least once a week for the last month, I had been going to therapy to cope with what had happened to me. Once I was officially released from the hospital, being in my apartment alone would give me flashbacks that would then trigger my anxiety. Since Finn couldn’t be there with me for several days after my release because of his away games, Angie had stayed with me. The moment that Finn was back though, he never left my side until his next away game.

  My anxiety had been piquing a lot over the last few days, something I hadn’t told Finn because he was so focused on the game that was taking place today. Michael’s lawyer, also known as his father, had tried reaching out to me a few times. According to him, Michael was in therapy now too. He failed to remember that it was court ordered therapy, though. The news he was trying to get to me was that the therapist Michael was seeing thought it was a good idea to get us in a room to talk about what happened. It was plain and simple, Michael was a jealous, evil pig who attacked me. Nothing more to add, nothing to figure out.

  Tabby drove me and Angie to TCF Bank Stadium, where the Minnesota United FC played until their new indoor field was done being constructed. Finn had requested that I come an hour before the doors were to open to the public to the field. Some surprise he had in store for me, I guess. We parked the car and went to the back team only entrance door that we were told to meet my man at. I had worn my gray and blue McAllister jersey that Finn insisted on buying for me when I told him I was going to get one, my favorite pair of ripped jeans, and my gray and aqua Nike shoes. When the side door opened, Finn stood there in his white and black jersey and matching shorts.

  “You actually listened and followed directions,” he teased me as we filed in through the door.

  “You said you had some big surprise. How could I resist?” I kissed his lips once the door closed behind us.

  I pulled back when Finn tried to make it deeper, my friends were still standing there staring at us, that wouldn’t be fair to force them to watch us make out. Finn shook his head, silently understanding why I pulled away, before leading us down to the locker room. Luckily all of the guys were changed, or else that would have been awkward. Bo was the first to come up to me and my tiny group of friends who were joining me for the game.

  “What do we have here?” Bo smiled looking from me, to Tabby, to Angie. His eyes lingered on Angie before they went back to me.

  “Hey, Bo. These are my friends Tabby and Angie. They are gonna keep me company during the game.” I gave him a quick hug.

  Over the last month, Bo and I had become good friends. Him and Finn were best friends and hung out a lot, it was only normal that we had created some bond.

  “Keep on an eye on them, will ya? I’ve got that surprise for Julianna,” Finn ordered him as he grabbed my hand and led me out of the locker room.

  We stopped just outside the door, and Finn took something out of his pocket. When he held it out in his hands, I saw that it was a blindfold.

  “This isn’t turning into some Fifty Shades of Grey shit, is it?” I chuckled when he held it up to put it against my eyes.

  “Hey, you love those books and the movies,” he whined as he tied the blindfold behind my head, “Guess you’ll just have to take a leap of faith.”

  His words reminded me of the first night that I met him, when he held out his hand and invited me on a walk. Back then I thought he could have been a serial killer until he proved otherwise, now I trusted him with every ounce of my being. Without my sight, my other senses were heightened.

  I could feel the warm of the hallway turn to the light 50-degree weather I had experienced on the walk from the car. The smells changed from cleaning solution and hot dogs to the smell of g
rass and the smell of the city. What was this big surprise? The ground below me turned from solid concrete to something far softer, dare I say squishy.

  I felt Finn tug at the tie on the back of the blindfold and then my eyesight was restored. The sun shone in from above on the field that I was now standing in the middle of. Thousands of empty seats surrounded me, the feeling made me feel so small. I turned to face Finn who had his foot gently resting on top of a soccer ball, a large grin on his face.

  “So, the surprise was to take me to see what you see at every game?” I asked, slowly moving toward him.

  “That’s only half of it,” he brought the ball up and started bouncing it with his knees, “The other half is to help you with what Dr. Miller said last session.”

  Finn had gone with me to therapy this week, before the phone calls from Michael’s father started. Dr. Miller had said something about finding a way to exert some energy and blow off some steam. Finn had cracked a joke when we left that we already blew off enough steam in bed.

  Quickly I reached out and grabbed the ball before he could bounce it again, “Hey, you aren’t allowed to touch the ball. Only goalies can do that,” Finn playfully pouted.

  “What? Are you just worried I’ll beat you if I use my hands?” I teased as I dropped the ball in front of me.

  “You already do things to me when you use your hands, so who knows what you could do with a soccer ball.”

  My mouth fell open, “Finn McAllister, you have a dirty mind.”

  He came to stand in front of me, “You love it.”

  “Yes, I do,” I leaned forward as though I were going to kiss him, then kicked the ball to the side and dribbled it down the field to score a goal.

  The ball sunk into the net and I ran around waving my hands around my head, “And the crowd goes wild! Julianna! Julianna!”

  Finn laughed and joined me in front of the goal, getting the ball from the net, “Easy goal, you distracted me with your lips.”

  I playfully pointed to my lips, “These? They didn’t even touch you.”

  “A kiss per goal sound like a fair trade?” He smiled as he placed an arm around my waist.

  “Last one to three goals…has to make dinner,” I grinned, I was already leading by one.

  His mouth covered mine in a slow, tender kiss. Once we parted, the game began. Finn was quick to tie it up with me, he was an amazing forward after all. In soccer, you weren’t allowed to push, shove, pull, anything that could really hurt somebody. In mine and Finn’s game, the rules were a little different.

  He’d come up behind me and grab me around the waist, swinging me away from the ball to steal it, and I would try to jump on his back to distract him. After a few minutes, the game was tied 2-2 and I had the ball against my foot. I dribbled it towards the goal, twisting and turning to avoid Finn and his long arms. In the goalie box, I tripped over the ball and fell, rolling onto my back with the ball in my hands as I clutched it to me.

  “Julianna! Are you alright?” Finn ran up to me, worried.

  He knelt down beside me as I laughed, “I’m okay. It was just a little fall.”

  When he was least expecting it, I put the ball on the ground and pushed it hard into the goal, “I win.”

  Finn laid down on top of me, “You cheated. You used your hands.”

  I shrugged, “What can I say? I’m good with my hands. Now give me my kiss.”

  He chuckled and kissed me as I had just demanded. My arms hooked around his neck as I deepened the kiss. Finn guided my legs to wrap around his waist, his hand tracing back down to my ass once they were in place.

  “Should I make love to you, right here right now?” Finn asked, his words getting lost as my tongue slid in to taste his mouth.

  I moaned against his lips as he ground against me. He was already getting hard with need. He rocked against me like we were a couple of high schoolers dry humping on the basement couch while the adult supervision was upstairs. The seam of my pants was rubbing me the right way as my orgasm was slowly starting to build.

  “Fuck,” I groaned breathlessly, “You’re gonna make me come like this.”

  He grunted as he pushed harder against me, “Shit, Julianna, I want you so bad.”

  Now I regretted not going with a skirt today. I was torn between looking cute and feeling comfortable all morning, and now I could be having sex on the fucking soccer field if I had worn the skirt.

  I kissed his lips gently, “Finn, I need you. I want to make you feel good.”

  “Fuck me,” he moaned as he stood up quickly and took my hand, lifting me up onto my feet.

  Following him, he led me over to a set of bleachers. From what he had told me earlier, the University Band would play during the games and this was where they sat with their instruments. He snuck us under the bleachers.

  “Now it’s really like we’re in high school,” I giggled as he took off his jersey and laid it on the grass for me.

  “Did you do this in high school?” Finn asked hesitantly as he helped ease me back.

  “No, this is a first for me,” I confided as I quickly undid my jeans and started pushing them down my legs with my panties.

  Finn dropped to his knees in front of me and pushed my legs open as I pulled down his pants and boxers, “It’s a first for me too.”

  “I find that hard to believe,” I teased as he aligned his cock at my entrance.

  “And why do you say that?” He leaned in close.

  “Look at you, you were probably the sex god of your high school.”

  “I’m a sex god?” He chuckled, slowly pushing his cock in.

  I gasped, “Oh, fuck yeah.”

  Finn grabbed my hands and laced our fingers as he pinned them above my head, into the cold grass. He thrust himself into me as I groaned loudly. This was even hotter than dry humping on the field, someone could hear us, someone could come looking for us and find us like this. My adrenaline was pumping harder through my veins with every quick thrust of Finn’s cock. I lifted my hips up, meeting him every time he reentered me. My orgasm sky rocketing me higher and higher.

  “Shit, Finn. Right there,” I moaned as he thrust harder, I was about to explode.

  “Oh, Jules, you feel amazing,” he groaned into my neck.

  My back arched in pleasure as my orgasm hit me like a ton of bricks, Finn’s use of my nickname was enough to push me over that final ledge. We had decided that my full name was too long for sex so whenever he wanted to say my name, he used one of my nicknames. Otherwise, he would call me by Julianna or another pet name with the occasional use of my nickname.

  If he said it too much I was immediately brought back to how Michael only called me that. My body shook underneath his as Finn called out for me, thrusting himself in and out as his orgasm poured into me. I had gotten back on the pill after being in the hospital, now we didn’t have to worry about if he forgot a condom once again.

  Goosebumps crawled up my arms once my overheated and over-sensitized body calmed down. Finn’s head rested against my chest, my arms finally free to move as they wished.

  “I should invite you to work more often,” he laughed as he breathed heavily.

  “If this is the turnout, I will fucking volunteer to show up,” I ran my hands through his hair.

  We laid like that for what had to be five minutes. Finn on top of me, his head on my chest, as I ran my fingers through his hair. When we heard someone within the stadium say it was time to open the doors, we got up and dressed, quickly sneaking back to the locker room before anyone could catch us. Before we walked in, Finn stopped me outside. He took mine, Tabby’s, and Angie’s tickets out of his pocket. How the hell did they stay in there when his pants were around his knees?

  “You are right in front, so I can keep an eye on you,” he smiled playfully.

  I took them and put them in my back pocket, “You won’t even notice me, you’ll be too focused on the game.”

  His lips met mine, “I always notice you. I love you.”<
br />
  “I love you, too.”

  With our hands held tightly together, we walked into the locker room. Bo and Angie were off to the side, talking amongst each other. Angie had a large smile on her face as Bo was telling her something. Tabby was standing around with the rest of the guys, telling one of her usually animated stories. But there was another girl and just from her red hair and tight clothed physique, I knew who she was without her having to turn around. When she did, she smiled wide at Finn and walked towards us. Finn released my hand when she got close. Why would he release my hand like that when Natalie didn’t mean anything to him?

  “Hey Finny,” she cooed as she wrapped her arms around his neck to hug him like they were still together.

  “Uh, hey, Nat. What are you doing here?” He pulled back quickly after returning her hug, one point for Finn.

  “I called your mom and we were talking about how much fun your games were. She said she would call you about getting me a ticket for today’s game,” she smiled sweetly and batted her lashes.

  When he took out an extra ticket from his pocket, I knew she wasn’t lying. Why didn’t he tell me about this? His ex-girlfriend and his current girlfriend at the same first home game of the season? Didn’t that sound a little odd to him? I loved Finn with all my heart, but sometimes the guy was not the brightest.

  “Thanks Finn, you’re the best!” She squealed, taking the ticket from him before kissing his cheek.

  As if she didn’t see me standing there, Natalie bumped my shoulder with hers on the way out.

  “Seriously, Finn? You got her a ticket?” I asked, crossing my arms over my chest.

  “Baby, my mom called and asked the favor of me this morning. Who am I to tell my mom no? You know how she can get about that sort of thing,” he sighed and looked at me.

  “Please don’t tell me she’s sitting by me,” I looked back into his eyes.