Hope

by Tia Wylder

  “I’m sorry, too,” Daniel apologized bluntly, and Melody looked even more surprised. “For all our fights, you helped raise Amanda the best you could. I should have been a better husband to you. I know I can’t change that now, but…,” he trailed off, and Melody averted her eyes, clearing her throat.

  “If you want to make it up to me, treat this one well, Danny. I mean it,” Melody uttered with an air of finality. She reached out to take their daughter’s hand, guiding the small girl into her apartment. “I’ll see you two in a few days. Enjoy your time together,” the slender woman said before abruptly slamming her door shut. Daniel stared at the door for a moment, before glancing towards Tiffany. She met his gaze with something akin to amusement, and all at once he felt his heart surge with affection.

  “Let’s go home,” she murmured. He nodded, fighting the urge to shout to the heavens how wonderful she was. He slipped into the car, and she turned the radio up once he started the ignition, humming under her breath. It was a wonderful sound, a sound that brought memories of the night he had nearly shared with her to the forefront. She sensed that he was rather uneasy, and as they pulled into the driveway of his home, she turned to face him. “Daniel? Are you okay?” She inquired softly. He hesitated for a moment, meeting her gaze. All at once, he lost control of himself. He lunged forward, tensing his hands in her blouse and forcing their lips together. She squeaked, immediately deepening the kiss. After a moment, however, she jolted away. "You said," she sputtered, and Daniel looked at her with a pleading expression.

  “Since that night, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. How beautiful you are, how much I want to… to...,” he trailed off, and she stared at him through wide eyes. “But you deserve so much better than to lose your virginity to a man who can’t make up his mind, you deserve--,” he stammered out, only to feel her lips crash against his once again.

  “Take me to your bedroom,” she murmured as she drew away, eyes dark with desire.

  “But, Tiffany, if I start, I’m not sure I can stop,” he groaned. She smiled gently, caressing his cheek.

  “You don’t have to. I know you don’t love me, Daniel. But for tonight, can you… can you just pretend?” She implored. His breath caught in his throat, but he managed a nod. The two scrambled out of the car, immediately finding comfort in each other’s arms. They kissed passionately all the way to the front door, drawing away only long enough to draw breath. Adrenaline surged through Daniel’s body, and as soon as the door was open, he lifted the curvy woman up. She wrapped her legs around his waist, surprised and obviously aroused by his strength. He staggered up the stairs, struggling not from the added weight but from the sheer strain of his arousal. He slipped into their shared bedroom, tossing her onto the bed. She bounced up, laughing almost deliriously before their lips met again. He fumbled with the buttons on her blouse, and she forced him away just long enough to pull his shirt off.

  Frustrated with how long it was taking to get her shirt off her, he ripped it open sending buttons popping in all directions. She laughed, and he reveled in the sound, pressing his lips to the column of her neck. He reached around, swiftly unclasping her bra. It fell away, and his lips continued to travel down her body. She gasped out his name, keening loudly as his mouth found her plentiful chest. He wrapped his lips around a nipple, gently tweaking the other one with his fingers.

  “Daniel,” she moaned gutturally, and his stiff arousal gave a sudden throb. It was simultaneously going too fast, and not quite fast enough. She jerked her hips upwards, and he struggled with the button of her jeans before managing to yank her jeans down. He hesitated for the briefest of moments upon seeing the damp spot on the front of her underwear, leaning in to deeply inhale her scent. She whined, bucking her hips up. He moved swiftly, pulling her underwear down and pressing a kiss to the apex of her thighs. "Stop… stop teasing me, Daniel. I want you. I want you… inside me," she gasped out desperately. He seemed more animal than man now, so captured in his arousal. He slid his jeans and boxer briefs down on his hips, his arousal springing to attention once it was freed. Taking control, Tiffany pushed Daniel onto his back. He groaned, hips jerking spasmodically as she gripped his throbbing manhood. She stroked it for a moment, considering it with a hungry expression. Decidedly, she shifted to rest on top of him, pressing the head of his length to her entrance. She lowered herself slowly, and he watched her expression shift from bliss, to brief discomfort. He felt her hymen tear as he entered her fully, and she simply rested with him inside of her for a moment.

  “Are you okay,” he managed, leaning in to gently capture her lips. She whimpered against him, nodding her head before slowly moving her hips. Her motions were strained at first, but as she established a rhythm, she grew more desperate. For his part, all he could do was to grab her curvy hips and synchronously pound into her. She moaned in earnest, bouncing on top of his throbbing staff. The sensations soon became nearly overwhelming, and as she slammed down on him a final time, her walls clenched around him as she came. He cried out her name, the word coming out strangled as he shot his load deep inside of her.

  It was over all too soon, but Tiffany considered him with an expression of near overwhelming relief.

  “Thank you,” she gasped out, pressing her lips to his once more. He returned the kiss weakly, groaning against her lips as she lifted her hips off him. The clean freak inside of him might have demanded that he go shower immediately, but he couldn’t find it within him to move. Tiffany curled up at his side, and he heard her breathing begin to even out as it seemed she would drift off asleep. Just before sleep claimed him as well, she whispered three words that made his heart stop. “I love you," she uttered softly, unaware that he was still awake. Guilt crashed over him in waves, but he fought to keep his face passive as he pretended to be asleep. She pressed another kiss to his cheek and moments later she was snoring softly.

  Rest would not come so easy for Daniel.

  The following morning found Tiffany tucked comfortably in his arms, snoring softly with her face pressed against his chest. He watched her with a conflicted expression, not wanting to wake her up, but certainly not wanting to wake her up and deal with the consequences of his actions either. As much as he cared for Tiffany, he knew a relationship wouldn't work. He had already screwed up things with his wife so much, he dared not risk harming the woman in his arms in such a way. He exhaled a sigh, resting his chin atop the crown of her head. She stirred slightly, and he went still in hopes of not waking her.

  “Good morning, Danny,” she murmured against his chest, pressing a gentle kiss to the inky black tattoo that spread across his chest. His heart gave a noticeable pang, and as she drew away to look up at him, he struggled to force a smile.

  “Good morning, Tiffany,” he finally managed, edging away from her to slip out of bed. As the blankets fell away from him, he became all too aware of his nudity and Tiffany’s eyes upon him. He shifted uncomfortably, rummaging around for a pair of clean underwear at the very least. Seems laundry had been the last thing on his mind, but it also seemed he had done very little actual thinking in the preceding days. Tiffany hummed softly under her breath, and he understood she was watching him with rapt attention as he got dressed. He glanced towards her, forcing an uneasy smile. “So… what are the plans for the day?” Daniel inquired softly, receiving a warm laugh in turn.

  “God, Daniel, I could stay in bed with you all day,” she hummed, burying her face in his pillow. His heart gave another pang, and he offered her an awkward smile.

  “Well, we do have to prepare the house for my daughter, tomorrow. Today, it’s just us, but... I’ll prepare breakfast for the two of us in the meantime,” he offered, shifting towards the door. Tiffany chuckled, sitting upright and allowing the sheet to fall away from her. Her breasts swayed temptingly as she leaned forward, crossing her arms under her chest.

  “Isn’t that my job? I have become something of a homemaker after all. Seems you’ve put me in my rightful place after
all,” she teased. He chuckled, a rather humorless sound.

  "Oh, it's no trouble. You simply… get dressed and meet me downstairs," he forced out, turning his back on the woman and slipping out of the bedroom. He knew he was being unbearably awkward, but he wasn't sure how to approach the woman the day after their lovemaking-- sex. Their sex. What they had done wasn’t making love, because they were not in love with each other… despite the feeling in his heart. Despite the words, Tiffany had uttered when she thought him fast asleep. He shuffled downstairs, feeling a familiar emptiness at not seeing his daughter already flitting around the house. He knew she was simply with her mother, and he would be picking her up tomorrow at the latest, but he couldn’t help the ache that nearly overcame him at the thought of losing her altogether. Though that seemed an unlikely prospect with the arrangement he and Tiffany had, he was beginning to have second thoughts about the entire facade. He sighed, cracking some eggs into a pan to fry. He could hear Tiffany beginning to meander down the stairs, though he tried to pay her little mind as he prepared their breakfast. He shuffled away from the stove, slipping two pieces of bread in the toaster. He felt her approaching him from behind, unable to stop himself from stiffening as she wrapped her arms around him.

  “What are we going to do today, without Amanda here?” Tiffany inquired teasingly, and Daniel couldn’t help but stiffen in her grip.

  “I need to do some grocery shopping, maybe just take some time to relax and read a book I’ve been meaning to catch up on,” he answered vaguely. He could only hope it wasn’t painfully obvious that he intended to do these daily activities along, but Tiffany caught the hint, allowing her arms to slip away from him.

  “That sounds… fun,” she muttered, not bothering to mask her scorn. “But if you really want to sell this relationship thing, you’ll have to step your game up a bit.” She taunted. It was obviously an attempt to tease him, but something about the words struck him entirely the wrong way. He wheeled around to face her, narrowing his eyes critically.

  “Seems I did that well enough last night, wouldn’t you say?” Daniel bit out snidely. Tiffany’s eyes widened, and she looked briefly wounded. However, she soon recovered, crossing her arms over her chest.

  “If I didn’t know any better, I would think you were already having regrets about the entire thing,” she retorted. Daniel remained silent, continuing to prepare breakfast. Tiffany exhaled a weary sigh, stepping away from him and slipping into the dining room. He knew he should comfort her, he knew he should assure her that his regrets were certainly not due to a lack of attraction. However, it was all he could do to focus on preparing breakfast. Once the eggs were done, he plated them and carried them into the dining room. Tiffany sat at the opposite end of the table, resting her head in her hands. Guilt sank its gnarled claws into him, and he parted his lips to speak. “I didn’t expect you to regret something as simple as sex. I know you're attracted to me. What difference does it make if there's no emotion behind it?" He smirked with biting remarks, “It would be just as well, were there a mutual lack of emotion.” She looked up at him, eyes wide with an emotion he couldn't quite recognize.

  “What are you even talking about?” She demanded, and he chuckled hollowly, serving up her eggs and toast.

  “Nothing. Just eat your breakfast,” he bit out. She stared at him through soulful eyes, and he cursed the fact that it seemed as if she could see into his very soul as well. Just then, his cellphone began to ring. He glanced towards her, unable to tear his eyes away for a moment. The phone jingled obnoxiously, and he gritted his teeth, turning his back on her to go grab his phone from where he had left it the night before. The battery was reading low, and it was fortunate he could manage to even get a call at any rate. Recognizing the number as Melody's phone, he answered in a gruff voice. "What is it, Melody?" He groused. He heard an uncomfortably shuffling on the other line and a soft voice hum uncertainly.

  “Daddy, are you okay?” His little girl inquired awkwardly, sounding almost afraid. He cursed himself internally, cursed Tiffany as well, before pulling himself together.

  “I’m fine, sweetheart. What do you need?” Daniel replied gently, gripping the phone tightly in his hand. Amanda hesitated, and he swallowed a sigh as she hummed a moment before speaking.

  “Momma wanted to invite you and Miss Tiffany over for dinner tonight. She said something about an olive branch, but I don’t really know what that means,” she admitted shyly. Daniel tensed despite himself, knowing that they were supposed to be on better terms with his ex-wife from this point out. However, the thought of dealing with the awkwardness with his fake lover as well as his ex-wife seemed nearly too much to bear. “Please, Daddy? I really want to see you," Amanda whispered, and his heart nearly broke in his chest. Of course, he would do whatever his daughter asked him, he was wrapped around her delicate little finger. He decided not to give the argument with Tiffany another thought, forcing a smile although Amanda couldn’t see it.

  “We’ll be there later, honey. Don’t you worry. Tell your mom we thank her for inviting us,” he replied amicably, suddenly aware of Tiffany’s eyes upon him from the doorway of the dining room. He gritted his teeth, feeling inexplicably angry at how awkward the entire situation had become. All because the foolish woman had developed feelings for him. Who cared if he had developed feelings of his own, he had never intended upon acting on them. “Bye honey,” he muttered to his young daughter, voice strained. She sweetly bid him a good day as well, before they both hung up.

  “So, I take it we have plans,” Tiffany mused quietly. Daniel turned to face her, crossing his arms over his chest.

  “Assuming you can hold yourself together,” he retorted. She narrowed her eyes at him, the smallest of tears pricking at the corners. He felt a grim sense of satisfaction, knowing that the only solution for dealing with her feelings for him was to nip them in the bud, so to speak.

  “Why would I have a problem holding myself together? Just because you agreed to take my virginity?” She asked hoarsely. Anger and guilt surged through him, melding together in an uncomfortable combination. He stepped towards her, eyes narrowed intensely.

  “I’m more concerned with the reason you allowed it in the first place. It was obviously a mistake, rooted in misplaced feelings. I had expected to go into this entire thing with a grown woman, not someone childish,” he gritted out. She glared, reaching out to jab her finger against his chest.

  “Why are you being such a dick suddenly? Just because I wanted to wait to lose my virginity doesn’t make me a child. You’re the one acting like a child. Amanda is more mature than you are when the two of you are angry. I’m beginning to understand why Melody felt the way she did,” she hissed. Daniel’s heart felt as if it were breaking, but his brain buzzed with sheer fury. He stepped towards her, smiling a saccharine sweet but quite obviously fake smile. He gripped her by the chin, and she struggled against him, pushing against his chest.

  “You want to know what the difference is between those two situations, Tiffany? You want to know why you’re different than Melody?” He inquired icily, his heart pounding in his chest. Tiffany’s eyes widened in primal fear, and she struggled even harder to get away from him. It was as if she knew the venom he was prepared to spit, and wanted to shield herself before it killed her. "I loved Melody. We loved each other. Melody wasn't a foolish woman with a foolish crush,” he sneered, getting right in her face. He watched as her face crumpled, and though his chest ached at the sight, he knew it had to be done. At least, he had thought it had to be done. He was beginning to question himself now that the wind was slipping from his sails.

  “I…,” Tiffany began, jerking away from him and drawing her hands to her chest. It was as if she was feeling a sudden pain in her chest, and Daniel could only assume it was heartbreak. His anger dissipated, and he parted his lips to sputter an apology. Tiffany did not give him the chance. “I was wrong about you. I thought you… I thought you were a nice guy. I thought you were a good guy.
But I was mistaken. I fell in love with someone who truly doesn’t exist,” she muttered. He stared at her, watching quietly as she edged past him and towards the door. She grabbed her keys, and fear washed over him as she opened the door.

  “Tiffany, you absolutely cannot quit on me now. What about my daughter? What about this whole charade,” he cried out, desperately trying to backpedal.

  “I need to think,” she murmured. She looked towards him, a heartbreaking pain shining in her eyes. Then, she slipped out the door and towards her car. He watched her go for a moment, pondering all the things he could say to remedy the situation. He gritted his teeth, lurching towards the door of her car.

  “If you won’t talk to me and handle this like adults, I have no desire for you to come back tonight. If this is truly over, I never want to see you again. I won’t have you break my,” he paused, catching her gaze. He swallowed, steeling himself. “I won’t have you break my daughter’s heart,” he muttered. She met his gaze, holding it for a long moment. Tears streamed down her face, but the look in her eyes is what truly startled him. It held an emptiness, a sheer lack of emotion that he had never seen in the woman’s eyes before.

  “Goodbye, Daniel,” she whispered, shifting the car into gear. He had to leap away from the car as it lurched backward out of the driveway, just to avoid being struck. He watched her go, his heart pounding in his chest as bile rose in his throat. What had he done? Was this what he had wanted? Had he truly wanted to push her away? He watched as her car raced down the road, disappearing into the distance with the sound of squealing tires. Concern washed over him, but it was quickly replaced with self-righteous anger. If she was so willing to throw this all away, if she had been willing to throw it away just for a chance to sleep with him, he couldn’t blame himself for her leaving. He turned his back, a sense of dread washing over him as he stepped back into the house.