Hope

by Tia Wylder

  He had to distract himself from what had happened, but first he had to break the news to his beloved little girl. He knew how dearly she had loved the woman he shared a fake relationship with, but knew that he couldn’t let her believe that Tiffany was going to come back. Not after what she’d said. Not after what they had said to each other. Deciding to get dressed and break the news to his daughter in person, he got dressed, trying to mask his misery by washing his face with cold water. He grabbed his own keys before stepping back outside, looking at the burnt rubber along the asphalt of his driveway. He swallowed thickly, slipping into his car and turning the ignition. The radio played a sorrowful love ballad, but he quickly switched it off. He reasoned that being alone with his thoughts certainly had to be a better option than listening to tales of love gone wrong. That’s not what this was, and it wouldn’t benefit him to entertain that idea. To think it was love gone wrong would require admitting his feelings for Tiffany. She was the poor girl who had caught feelings for the wrong person, not him.

  He swallowed his pride, turning the radio back up and belting out the lyrics to the song. Tears pricked at his eyes, but he would not allow them to fall. In the distance, he could hear the wail of a siren, nearly drowning out the radio. However, he simply turned up the volume, turning the bass up full blast. He screamed along with the song, gripping the steering wheel tightly. He knew he was being ridiculous, knew he shouldn’t feel as if his heart was breaking within his chest. He had to focus on his daughter, and how he would comfort her.

  Melody's apartment complex soon came into sight, and he pulled into the parking lot. His little girl was riding her bike back and forth on the sidewalk, and he could spot his ex-wife lingering towards the side of the building. He opened the car door quietly, slipping towards Melody before Amanda could spot him.

  “Can I have a smoke?” He inquired gruffly, and Melody quirked a brow, looking as if she had something snide to say. She seemed to rethink it, however, as he felt a single tear roll down his cheek.

  “Goddammit, Daniel,” she muttered, giving him a menthol cigarette. She lit it for him and he took a long drag before exhaling the plume of smoke. Melody looked fully prepared to give him a piece of her mind, apparently able to piece things together to an extent from the fact that Tiffany was not with him. However, she fell silent as their daughter leaped off her bike, rushing towards the two of them.

  “Daddy! I’ve never seen you smoke before. Are you alright? ...Where’s Miss Tiffany?” She asked in a rush, her words coming faster and faster. He felt a sense of shame wash over him as tears pooled in the young girl’s eyes and she wrapped her arms around him before burying her face in his stomach.

  “Miss Tiffany is gone, honey. I… I don’t think she’s coming back,” he managed, wrapping an arm around his daughter’s shoulders. She sobbed against his stomach, gripping him tighter.

  “But you said it wouldn’t be like with mommy. You said Miss Tiffany would be different. I thought… I thought… she said she loved me,” the girl wept.

  “I know, honey. I thought it… I thought it would be different. But she… no, I screwed up,” he admitted, the guilt washing over him in full force. His daughter drew away, and she looked to her mother imploringly.

  “Can daddy stay here with us tonight, mommy? Please?” She implored, and before Daniel could argue, Melody rested a hand on his arm.

  “You’re in no shape to be driving like this. You messed up, Danny, but I won’t see Amanda lose her father over this. Stay and have dinner with us at least, I want you to pull yourself together before you drive home,” Melody gently maintained her gaze into his eyes. He wanted to argue, wanted to argue that he had to find Tiffany. If he was in no shape to drive, he could only imagine the shape she was in. However, the protest died on his lips as his daughter sobbed out another cry, clinging to his leg.

  “What do I do, Melody?” He implored. “I know I have no right to ask for your help, but… I love her. I really do,” he admitted, more to himself than the woman before him. She took another long drag of her cigarette before stomping it out, taking Amanda by the hand.

  “We’ll have dinner, the three of us, and tomorrow you can go looking for her. Tell her you’re sorry. Just make sure she knows how much you love her. Shithead or not, you’re not an altogether bad guy, Danny. I’m sure she loves you as much as you love her, if not more so. And, as much as I hate to say it, things just wouldn’t feel right without her around. Not just for Amanda’s sake, but for yours as well,” Melody muttered, looking torn between wanting to smack and embrace her weeping ex-husband. He nodded, and Melody led both him and their daughter into her apartment, where the scent of home fried chicken wafted freely through the air. The scent was tantalizing, but sadness gripped Daniel’s heart at the thought that he could not share it with the woman he loved. The sentiment seemed shared by the others in the apartment, and Melody gently soothed Amanda’s tears before moving about setting out plates for everyone. The meal was eaten in silence. Despite wanting to begin searching for Tiffany, Daniel knew he had an obligation to see that his daughter was alright. Melody threw a sheet and a pillow on the couch, and although he and her mother were getting along, Daniel mused that Amanda seemed no more soothed for it.

  “Daddy, you have to find her. You just gotta. Tell her we love her,” she sobbed, curling up on the couch with him. He wrapped his arms around his sweet baby girl, muttering soothing word into her ear.

  “We’ll find her, baby girl. Everything will be okay. I promise,” he murmured. She drifted off into a restless slumber, and it was all Daniel could do to follow suit. He had no idea if the words he’d said were true. He had no idea if they would find Tiffany, or if she would even want anything to do with him. He shuddered to even consider the alternative: never seeing her again and him never getting the chance to reveal his feelings. If only he had been up front, instead of trying to fight what they both knew was right. If only he had been forthcoming with her, instead of afraid of his feelings. Now his daughter was left to suffer, and he only had himself to blame. Shifting carefully, he pulled his cellphone out of his pocket and dialed Tiffany’s number. He allowed hope to well in his chest as the phone rang, waiting for her to answer. However, after what seemed an eternity of ringing, her voicemail answered. Tears sprung to his eyes at the sound of her sweet voice, and he spoke shakily into the phone. “Tiffany… please come home. Please,” he pleaded, before hanging up the phone. He could only hope that somehow she would hear it. He could only hope that tomorrow would somehow be a better day. However, something deep within him told him that things may not be so simple. Shaking off that thought, he allowed his eyes to flutter shut. With his daughter gripped tightly into his arms, he drifted into the most fitful slumber of his life. His dreams were haunted by images of Tiffany rejecting him, laughing at him, telling him how much she hated him. When he woke up the next morning, he had no idea that the matter would be so much worse than his dream. So much worse.

  Chapter Seven

  Despite wanting to spend the next day searching for Tiffany, Daniel knew his obligations lie with his job and his young clients. He kissed his little girl on the forehead before bidding her goodbye, thanking Melody for allowing him to stay the night. She still considered him with a familiar disdain, but there was also a rather haunted expression in her eyes. It seemed she was rather put off by Tiffany’s disappearance as well. Daniel’s heart ached at the thought of the curvy woman, and how she managed to make everyone fall in love with her. Specifically, his heart ached at the way she had managed to make him fall for her charms. He started the ignition of his car, driving to the private pediatric clinic he worked for. The drive was a long and lonely one. The fact that there would be no one waiting for him at home really troubled him. He had let down his daughter, he had even managed to disappoint his ex-wife one last time. More than anything, however, he had pushed away the one woman who could salvage his broken heart. He would begin searching for her as soon as his shift was over. May
be if he was lucky, his boss would even allow him to take off early. He had checked his schedule, and if he recalled correctly, he didn't have too many patients today. However, even one patient seemed one patient too many.

  The day passed in something of a haze. He was unable to keep up a cheerful facade for long, and his young patients noticed the change in attitude. When his boss called Daniel to his office, he could only wonder if he would be fired for his lapse in ability. However, when he stepped into the office, the expression his boss bore was much grimmer than he might have expected. He parted his lips to speak, but before he could, his boss held out a hand and reached over to the office answering machine. He pressed the play button on the most recent message left on their emergency line.

  “Yes, hello? We’re looking for a Dr. Daniel Brookes. His girlfriend, Tiffany Aegis has been in an awful car accident, and we need him to come to the Westside Hospital as soon as possible. Again, if you could pass the message to Dr. Daniel Brookes--” the message continued, but that was the last Daniel heard of it as he sprinted out of his boss’s office and towards the parking lot. Tears streamed down his cheeks as he thought to himself how this couldn’t be happening. Tiffany had been fine the night before, upset, but not injured. However, during his drive to the hospital, desperate tears obscured his vision. His breath caught in his throat, and more than once he was certain he would crash and burn as well. He could only wonder if that was what the woman he loved had felt after hearing such cruel words from him. That only fueled his despair, but somehow, he managed to make it to the hospital. He parked quickly, bursting in the doors of the emergency room. The waiting room was packed full, but he paid little mind to the other families as he lurched towards the front desk.

  “I’m here to see Tiffany Aegis. She’s my girlfriend. I received a call at work,” he requested with emotion-choked voice. The woman at the desk considered him bleakly for a moment before giving him a name tag and allowing him into the emergency department. He had barely made out the words that Tiffany was in room E504 in his desperate haze, but he managed to find the room. Doctors and nurses surrounded the bed, and they were busying themselves with the various tubes hooked up to the curvy woman. She had a large gash across the side of her temple, and her eyes were closed peacefully. The doctors and nurses muttered amongst themselves, and for a moment, Daniel thought he might have been too late. Then, he saw the subtle rise and fall of his love’s chest. “Is she okay?” He blurted, feeling ridiculous immediately after. The scornful look of the doctors made him feel no better. “I mean… what’s her status?” he corrected himself.

  “I take it you’re Doctor Brookes?” One of the nurses inquired softly, reaching out to touch him on the arm. “I’m the one who called you. Ms. Aegis is in stable condition now. The paramedics found her in an upturned car, suffering massive blood loss,” she murmured. He drew away from her, stepping towards the bed.

  “Is she just resting?” He inquired softly, though his feelings suggested the absolute opposite was true. The nurse offered him a kind smile, and the doctors slipped out of the room once Tiffany was hooked to what seemed dozens of tubes. Daniel noted the feeding tube going down her nose, as well as the oxygen mask that seemed necessary to help her breathe.

  "I'm sorry honey. She hasn't woken since last night. The doctors aren't sure if she'll wake up. Her brain activity is relatively normal, so we're assuming she's not braindead… yet," she paused, fidgeting uncomfortable. "However, since she has no family, it’s been decided that the decision to keep her on life support will be left in your hands. I know this is a big decision, and I know you don’t want her to suffer--,” the nurse began, but Daniel was quick to cut her off.

  “We’re not taking her off life support! She’ll pull through this! I’m sure of it,” he choked out desperately, falling to his knees beside Tiffany’s bed. The heart monitor beeped steadily, and the nurse considered him for a long moment before nodding her head and slipping away.

  “Very well. Her insurance will only cover so much, however, so eventually--,” she tried, but was once again cut off.

  “I’ll cover the costs. I’ll cover everything. Just… tell the doctors to keep trying. Please,” Daniel urged, tears spilling down his cheeks. The nurse nodded solemnly before slipping out of the room. Daniel gripped Tiffany’s limp hand in his own, marveling at how warm she felt yet how lifeless she appeared. The gash on her head was stitched up and cleaned, but it was obvious that it had been a rather nasty wound when she was first admitted. He dreaded to even consider the other wounds she may have had, internal or otherwise. He drew her hand towards his lips, tenderly kissing the back of her knuckles. “Tiffany… if you can hear me, I’m so sorry. I won’t let them let you go. I’m going to take care of everything until you’re ready to wake up. And when you do wake up… I have so much to tell you...I will pay for the best care and doctors to help bring you back… Just please… please, Tiff. Try to pull through this,” he wept, shivering uncontrollably. As expected, he received no response. However, his expectations did nothing to dull the striking pain in his heart at her lack of response. Though he was a doctor himself, he cursed himself for lacking the ability to help the woman he loved in his time of need. All he could do was pay for her care, and… well, pray. He wasn’t the praying sort, but he supposed he would make an exception. Just this once.

  The following days found Daniel remaining close to Tiffany’s bedside, refusing to leave unless it was to use the restroom. Rarely, he would eat, but it was usually trays brought by sympathetic hospital workers. He knew he would have to leave the woman’s side eventually, to return to work at the very least. But the thought of leaving her alone in the hospital sent unwelcome shivers through his body. He spoke to her often, rambling tangents that made little sense.

  When Amanda and Melody came to the hospital to visit the two, it was obvious that Mandy was crushed by the sight. She all but crumpled, deep and anguished wails spilling past her lips. Melody drew her close, and it was obvious that the woman was wondering if she had made a mistake. Daniel stood from the chair at Tiffany’s bedside, for the first time all day. He stepped up to his daughter, gathering her in his arms and allowing her to bury her face in his chest. She wept inconsolably, and Daniel exchanged a glance with Melody. The slender woman’s face was tense, her jaw clenched as she looked between Daniel and the comatose woman.

  “Daddy, is… is Miss Tiffany gonna die?” Amanda wept, drawing away from her father to look him in the eye. He hesitated, his heart nearly crumbling when he realized he could not say for sure one way or another.

  “She’ll… she’ll be fine, honey. Tiffany will wake up, and things will go back to normal. Everything will be okay,” he murmured. She continued to weep, staring at the still form of her new best friend. Fortunately, Tiffany’s few injuries were bandaged extremely well, and the only sign that she was injured was her unconscious state.

  “You said things would be fine with mommy, too. But you two still got a divorce,” the young girl cooed, and Daniel felt as if he had been stabbed in the heart. He drew away from his daughter, looking her in the eye. A single tear spilled down his cheek, and he chuckled bitterly as he sat Amanda in the chair he had previously inhabited.

  “You’re right. Daddy’s been making my share of mistakes,” he admitted, looking to Melody. The slender woman met his gaze, eyes surprisingly soft. He had half expected her to lay into him, but she simply crossed her arms over her chest, watching with sadness in her eyes as their daughter gingerly touched Tiffany’s arm.

  “We’ve both made our share of mistakes,” she quietly admitted, and Daniel looked at her with surprise in his eyes. “I shouldn’t have been so cruel, not to you nor Tiffany. I know… I know I haven’t been the best mother, these past few years,” she continued. Amanda glanced over her shoulder, looking as if she would protest, but Melody simply held a hand up. “Honey, you don’t have to protect mommy. It’s mommy’s job to protect you. Not the other way around,” Melody murmured with the
faintest of smiles. Their daughter exhaled a sad sigh, lacing her fingers with those of the unconscious woman. Daniel watched with sadness radiating from his being, jolted from his reverie as Melody rested a hand on his shoulder.

  “All I’ve done lately is screwed up. This entire situation is my fault. I shouldn’t have let her leave,” he muttered, rubbing the tears away from his eyes.

  “You can’t blame yourself for this, Daniel. I’ve… finally come to terms with the fact that our marriage dissolving wasn’t entirely your fault. As I said, I’ve not been the best mother since then. I was thinking…,” she paused, glancing away. Daniel waited patiently for her to continue, idly listening as Amanda whispered to the unconscious woman. “We should settle this custody battle out of the courtroom. To take it that far is ridiculous. We should be able to remain friends, at the very least. I realize I don’t have the same ability to take care of Amanda as you do,” she confessed, tears pricking at her own eyes.

  “Melody, I would never make it so you could never see our daughter again. I just… I just want to be able to see that she is taken care of,” Daniel maintained a steady eye contact, drawing his ex-wife into his arms. She stiffened in his grip, but slowly relaxed, resting her face against his shoulder.

  “See, Miss Tiffany. You’ve made things so much better in the time you’ve been a part of my life…,” Amanda whispered softly, rubbing her own teary eyes. Daniel drew away from Melody, who seemed somewhat relieved by the broken contact. She remained near the door of the room as Daniel crossed the distance to the bedside chair. He gathered their young daughter in his arms, holding her in a gentle hug.

  “Tiffany will get through this, buttercup. She’s strong. Stronger than myself, even,” he murmured. She hesitated, looking uncertain as to whether she believed her father.