Treading Water

by Marie Force

  She ran through the crowded lobby where one employee after another called out to her with concern. Pushing through the large double doors leading to one of Jack’s stone verandas, she hurried across the lawn. Andi knew she shouldn’t be running in her condition but was unable to stop herself until the grass met the rocky shore. There she sank to the grassy lawn and sobbed.

  That’s where Kate found her.

  She sat next to Andi. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t even think before I played that song. I was so excited to have the chance to try out.”

  Andi reached out to hug her. “I’m sorry I reacted that way. At least you don’t have to wonder if your music touches people.”

  Laughing softly, Kate said, “If it helps at all, I don’t think my dad is in much better shape.”

  Strangely comforted to hear that, Andi held Kate close to her for a moment longer. “You got the job.”

  Kate’s eyes lit up. “I did?”

  “You’re going to knock ’em dead, Kate, here and anywhere you go. I have no doubt. Someday when you’re rich and famous, remember who gave you your first job.”

  “I’ll never forget,” Kate said softly. “I’ll never forget any of it.”

  “I won’t, either.” For however long it had lasted, they’d been a family, and neither of them would ever forget it.

  “You can start on Sunday at two. Wear whatever you’re comfortable in.”

  Kate hugged her again. “Thank you so much, Andi. Walk you back inside?”

  “I think I’ll stay out here for a few more minutes.” Andi looked out over the vivid blue waters of the bay where a few sailors enjoyed one of the first warm spring days. “I’ll see you soon.”

  After Kate walked away, Andi reclined on the grass and let the sun warm her face. The babies moved relentlessly, reminding her that life went on even when it seemed the world had ended.

  Chapter 30

  Clare’s heart beat fast, so fast she couldn’t catch her breath. He grabbed her, and she shrieked.

  The car was hurtling at her, offering relief, blessed relief.

  Big, blond, handsome, vicious. He was going to hurt her. Then she was on the floor. He was on top of her, tearing at her clothes.

  Clare screamed when he forced his way inside her, but there was no one there to hear her. It went on forever, or so it seemed. The red-hot pain tearing through her took her breath away. Then he was done. Somehow, though, he managed to do it again, but this time she blacked out when his crushing weight stole the air from her lungs.

  The car came at her—a blue sedan, the driver hunched over the wheel. Take me away. Make it all go away.

  The monster dragged her to her feet, ordered her to get dressed. Her clothes were torn, but she put them on anyway. He made her drive him back to his car. Before he got out, he grabbed a handful of her hair and pulled her so close his spit hit her face. “If you tell anyone, I’ll kill one of your kids. You won’t know when, and it won’t matter to me which one, but I’ll do it. Breathe a word of this to anyone and one of your girls is dead, you got me?”

  Mute with shock and fear, Clare nodded.

  “Try to get me locked up,” the monster continued, his once handsome face now twisted and ugly, “I’ll get someone to do it. Don’t fuck with me.”

  Clare nodded again, desperate to be rid of him.

  He released her abruptly and was gone.

  The car came at her faster this time. Not in front of the girls. Don’t do this to them. I’m so tired. I can’t move. He can’t hurt them if I’m dead. Take me. Take me away. Make it all go away. She saw Jack’s handsome, smiling face, and then blackness—beautiful, peaceful nothingness.

  Clare woke up screaming and crying.

  Nurses came running into her room.

  “Clare, honey, what is it?” one of them asked, brushing the hair off her sweat-soaked forehead.

  On the verge of hysteria, Clare fought for every breath.

  “I’ll get the doctor,” the other nurse said. “She’ll give you something to settle you.”

  “No!” Clare shrieked. “I want to remember.” She’d had the dream before. The car was new, but she remembered dreaming about the attack for months afterward. She’d been haunted by it but had suffered even the nightmare in silence to protect her children.

  “What do you remember, Clare?” the doctor asked.

  Clare forced herself to take a deep breath in an attempt to calm down but couldn’t stop the shaking of her hands or the hard, relentless beating of her heart. “I want Jack,” she whispered. “Will you please call my husband?”

  Jack ran through the dark hospital parking lot. His first thought when the phone rang in the middle of the night was that Andi had gone into labor early.

  The nurses were waiting for him when he reached Clare’s floor in the rehabilitation facility.

  “What happened?”

  “She had a nightmare and woke up screaming and crying. She’s asking for you.”

  He ran past the nurse’s station to Clare’s room. She wept quietly while one of the nurses held her hand and tried to comfort her. When Jack stepped in, the nurse got up and left the room.

  “Clare, honey, what’s wrong?” he asked, taking the hand the nurse had been holding.

  “I remember,” she whispered. “The car… I did it on purpose.”

  “No. You wouldn’t have done that to the girls.”

  “I should’ve told you then.” She shook her head as fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. “Maybe none of this would’ve happened if I had.”

  Confused, he said, “Told me what, honey?”

  “I was raped. By a client in an empty house I was showing him.”

  Stunned, Jack stared at her.

  “I didn’t tell you or anyone because he told me he’d kill one of the girls if I did. I believed him.” She choked on a sob. “His name was Sam Turner, and all the girls in my office were jealous because he was so handsome, and I got to work with him.”

  Jack moved onto the bed and put his arms around her. “I would’ve killed him, Clare. Before he could’ve harmed anyone else in my family.” He struggled to contain the rage that threatened to consume him. “I would’ve killed him.”

  “I wanted so badly to tell you,” she whispered against his chest. It was the first time she’d let him hold her in all the weeks since she’d come back to them. “But all I could think about day after day was what I’d do without one of my girls. One day I’d imagine Maggie was gone. The next day it would be Jill and then Kate. The way he said it, I know he would’ve done it.”

  “I never would’ve let that happen.”

  “I was so afraid, Jack. That day, in the parking lot when the car was coming at me, all I saw was a way out.”

  “Clare…” He gasped, stunned by her admission. “But the girls, they were standing right there. How could you do that to them?”

  “I thought of them. I thought of you. But I couldn’t make myself move. I just knew if I were gone, they’d be safe. They’d all be safe.”

  “Had you been thinking about that?” He chose his words carefully. “About taking your own life?”

  “It never crossed my mind until that car was coming at me.”

  “I don’t know what to do for you. What do you want me to do?”

  “Call the police, Jack. I want to report a rape.”

  “Are you sure?”

  She nodded. Her tears were gone, and in their place was anger and determination.

  Jack asked for Sergeant Curtis, the officer who’d investigated the accident, and he arrived thirty minutes later.

  “Good to see you, Jack.” Curtis shook his hand. “I was delighted to hear about your wife’s recovery.”

  Jack introduced him to Clare, and she told him her story, gave a description of the man, and the approximate address of the house where the attack had occurred. She said her office kept logs of agents’ appointments, and they’d have the exact address and be able to confirm the dates she’d worked wi
th Sam Turner.

  “I’ll be honest with you, Clare,” the officer said. “I believe you. I believe your story. I want you to know that.” He paused before adding, “But there’s no physical evidence to tie him to the crime.” Curtis had cringed when she said she threw away the clothes she’d been wearing. “The crime scene itself was long ago compromised. If—and that’s a very big if—we’re ever able to bring this case to trial, it’d be your word against his. An entirely circumstantial case.”

  Jack stared at him, incredulous. “So you’re saying this guy can rape my wife, terrorize her by threatening the lives of our children, and he could get away with it?”

  “We’ll do our very best for you,” Curtis said. “I’ll have his name run through all the databases, and I hope we’ll find he’s in the system somewhere. If we can nail him, Clare, we’ll do it.”

  “Thank you, Sergeant,” Clare said as she clutched Jack’s hand.

  “I want your guarantee that my daughters will be safe,” Jack said, mentioning that Jill was at Brown. “If he finds out we told the police—”

  “We’ll have people everywhere they are. I’ll contact the Brown University police, too. Nothing will happen to them,” Curtis assured them as he got up to leave. He promised to keep them informed.

  After he left, Clare’s psychiatrist, Dr. Baker, came in to talk to her. Clare told her story yet again, and when she was finished, she had only one question for the doctor.

  “Did I try to commit suicide?” she asked in a small voice.

  “I think it might’ve been more of a post-traumatic stress reaction.”

  Clare was relieved to hear that.

  “We’ll need to spend a lot of time talking about this,” Dr. Baker said. “But right now, you need rest more than anything. I’ll be back in later to check on you.”

  When they were alone, Jack said, “I need to talk to the girls so they’ll know why the police are around.”

  “I should tell them myself,” Clare said.

  “I’ll take care of it. I don’t want you to worry about anything.”

  “Thank you for coming when they called you. I appreciate it.”

  Jack sat back down on the bed and took her hand. “Of course I came. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

  “I haven’t been very nice to you, and I’m sorry for that.” She reached up to caress his face. “Jamie was in the other day. Did you know that?”

  Surprised by the loving gesture, Jack shook his head. Jamie hadn’t told him.

  “We had a long talk. He said a lot of what everyone else has said, but he also told me how worried you were that people would think you’d forgotten about me if you pursued a relationship with Andi. It helps to know you thought of me.”

  “I never stopped thinking of you.”

  “But you had a life with her,” Clare said sadly. “You’re in love with her. I don’t know where I fit into that.”

  “We don’t need to talk about it now. You’ve had a tough night. Why don’t you try to get some sleep while I go talk to the girls about the police?” He pulled the covers up around her and leaned down to kiss her. “I’ll be back.”

  “She was raped?” When his legs seemed to fail him, Jamie dropped into a chair.

  Jack had stopped by Frannie and Jamie’s house on his way back from seeing Jill in Providence. The girls had been stunned to hear what’d happened to their mother. He’d glossed over some of the details to keep them from being terrified. As much as it pained him, he’d had to tell them they’d been threatened so they would be vigilant and ask for help if they needed it. Maggie was still afraid the bad man would make good on his threats, but after Jack pointed out the police car in the driveway, she felt better.

  “Why didn’t Clare say anything?” Frannie asked, shocked by the news.

  “He threatened the girls.” Jack told them about Turner’s threat.

  “Son of a bitch,” Jamie swore under his breath.

  Jack relayed what Sergeant Curtis said about the lack of evidence and how they should be prepared for Turner to possibly get away with what he’d done to Clare.

  “No way,” Frannie said. “There’s no way we can let that happen. All the pain and grief… He can’t get away with it.”

  “I just keep asking myself, where was I when this was happening to her?” Jack asked. “What was I doing?”

  “Quinn could tell you if you wanted to know that badly,” Jamie replied warily.

  “You might be better off not knowing,” Frannie said.

  Jack ran his hands through his hair, pacing the room as the rage he’d kept under control all morning came to a boil. “I never thought I’d be capable of killing someone, but if you put him in this room right now—”

  “I’d help you,” Jamie said.

  Sergeant Curtis was in Clare’s room when Jack arrived the next morning.

  “Did you find him?” Jack asked as he sat next to Clare and took her hand.

  “He’s in prison in California. Apparently, he did almost the same thing again. He was convicted of raping a Realtor in San Diego about a year after he attacked you. The case is eerily similar to what you described yesterday, Clare.”

  “At least he’s locked up,” Jack said, relieved.

  “He’s serving a life sentence with no chance of parole for aggravated assault and first-degree sexual assault.” Curtis explained that with convictions in two prior felonies in California, Turner had been put away for life under the state’s three strikes law. He’d been on parole and running from the law when he raped Clare.

  “We can file new charges in your case, and we’d have a better chance of securing a conviction since we’re dealing with a pattern.”

  “Why do I hear a ‘but’ in there?” Clare asked.

  Curtis paused for a moment before he continued, appearing to choose his words carefully. “Your family has already been through a terrible ordeal. A trial would be ugly. You’d have to recount the assault in open court, and his lawyer would do a number on the fact that you remembered it in a dream. He’s in prison for life, and he’ll never be paroled. You have to weigh whether adding another conviction to his rap sheet is worth the toll on you and your family.”

  “It isn’t,” she said without hesitation. “He’s in prison, and he’s not getting out, so there’s no way he can do this to someone else. If I pressed charges, I’d have to worry that he’d make good on getting someone else to hurt my kids. I won’t take that risk.”

  “If you’re sure,” Curtis said.

  “I’m sure,” Clare said, tightening her hold on Jack’s hand.

  “For what it’s worth, I think you’re doing the right thing. A rape victim is often put on trial herself, and I’d hate to see that happen to you when you’ve already been through so much.”

  “Thank you, Sergeant, for believing my story yesterday, for moving so quickly to protect my family, and to find Turner,” Clare said. “I appreciate it.”

  “I’m just glad we were able to find him.”

  “Could you keep this out of the papers? My family has been through enough without this being splashed all over the news. We’ll tell the people we want to know.”

  “Consider it done,” Curtis said as he got up to leave. “I admire your courage, Clare. Good luck to both of you.”

  Jack stood to shake the detective’s hand. When Curtis had gone, Jack turned to her. “I’m proud of you. I’m sure you want your own justice, but you made the right decision.”

  “He’s taken enough from me—from all of us. I’m ready to get back to living. I could never do that with a trial and his threats hanging over my head. I want to put it behind me.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do.” Jack squeezed her hand and kissed her cheek, hoping he could do it for her.

  Andi groaned and rolled over, dropping her feet down to propel herself out of bed. Now in her seventh month, she couldn’t imagine being any bigger than she was already. It’ll get worse before it’s over, she reminded h
erself. Her back screamed from the weight of the babies, and Dr. Abbott had threatened to put her on bed rest if she didn’t slow down on her own. She hadn’t seen Jack in three months and still found that continuous activity was the only thing that kept her mind from wandering back in time.

  Eric was in Chicago for a longer-than-expected stay, since Andi was either working or exhausted and was almost too big to fit behind the wheel of her car to take him anywhere. Betty had flown to Rhode Island right after school ended to pick up her grandson for a month-long visit. Andi figured it was his best hope for a fun summer and was grateful for her mother’s help.

  Kate had been a big hit from her first day at the hotel, and the bar manager reported there were now regulars who showed up on the days she was working just to hear her play. Andi enjoyed having her around, and Kate usually stopped in to see her before her shifts.

  Andi waddled back downstairs after a brief rest, knowing Kate would be coming by soon. She’d just made it back to her office when Kate came in looking all grown up in a white blouse, black skirt, and high-heeled sandals.

  “Hey, how’s it going?” Kate studied her with concern.

  Andi knew her face was probably devoid of color and, as usual, she was out of breath. “Just had a nap to get me through the afternoon. How are you?”

  “Good.” Kate cast a nervous glance over her shoulder. “Um, listen, my car’s in the shop having the new stereo put in so my dad brought me to work today. He was wondering if he could talk to you. Just for a minute…”

  Andi’s heart fluttered. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea.”

  “Please, Andi. He needs to see for himself that you’re okay.”

  Andi didn’t have the strength to argue. “Fine. Send him in. I’ll see you later?”

  “I’ll come by before I leave.” Kate went to get her father.

  Andi’s heart went from fluttering to hammering as she sat behind her desk and waited for him. When he came in, she experienced the familiar surge of love that’d left her breathless long before twin babies were squeezing all the air from her lungs.