Anxious Hearts

by Felicia Tatum

  Zarina rambled on all the way to the car about how adorable the baby was going to be. When I opened the door, I turned to see Daphne watching from the door. I raised a hand to wave and my heart fluttered.

  Fluttered. This woman was killing me.

  And I kind of liked it.

  Daphne

  In a matter of just a few hours, I would be telling my best friend I was having her ex-receptionist’s baby.

  I hoped she took it well.

  I cleaned her house from top to bottom, making sure everything was as they left it, and put flowers on the tables. Honeymooning in Ireland must have been a blast, but I knew Francesca and she would be more than ready to be home and in her own place.

  Work slowly went by. The days in the office were the hardest for me, because I liked to be out doing something, but I had to do the paperwork and online things required, so I reserved each Monday for that. Designing Zander’s music shop was an exciting new project, though, and I would be going over and talking things over with him tomorrow.

  The boy made my heart do things it shouldn’t and the butterflies surely couldn’t fit in my stomach with the baby, so I needed him to not be so sweet and sexy. He was so attentive and kind, something I wasn’t used to. I could see myself falling for him, and it seemed like a really bad idea.

  Yeah, he was the father of my baby, but other than the two times we’d had sex, he hadn’t shown any interest in dating me. He was caring and thoughtful, but I was having his kid, so I was sure he felt he had to be.

  Other guys wouldn’t by any means, but Zander McKinney wasn’t like other men. It was a hard fact to swallow, but it was true. I knew it deep down, and each passing day proved it more so. He was a good one, and I was thankful it was his child I was carrying. My little musician was a lucky little man.

  Selene texted me more often than usual, asking me what color schemes I’d use for the nursery, what names I’d thought of, and a slew of other questions I had no answers to. Zander wanted to raise this baby with me, so I anticipated he wanted to be a part of all those decisions. It wasn’t easy for me, handing over some of the control in the situation, but I would. My child deserved two parents, and two parents he would get.

  What in the world would I do if it was a girl? I was so used to calling it a boy that I couldn’t even entertain the thought of having a girl. Something deep inside me told me it was a boy, a handsome little man who would completely steal everyone’s heart when he smiled a smile just like his daddy.

  His daddy.

  “Daphne,” my coworker, Andy, said from the desk across from me.

  “Yeah?” I replied.

  “Are you in office tomorrow?”

  I shook my head.

  “Oh, well, do you have a few minutes?” she asked. “I have an office I’m working on and I have a few questions about where to get the décor. It’s a dentist office. You’ve worked on one of those, right?”

  “Yeah,” I answered. “Can you give me ten to finish what I’m working on? This report has to be finished today or Marcus may hurt me,” I chuckled.

  “Of course,” she laughed. “Take your time.”

  Helping Andy would take some of the time up, helping it to pass a bit faster. My day was shortened anyway, since I was set to get Francesca and Cade from the airport, but I also planned their welcome home/baby reveal party.

  They were going to flip.

  I’d invited Bree, Ally, Ava, and Kylie. I didn’t think Zander had any mutual friends other than them, but I’d welcomed him to invite them over, too. I couldn’t tell Francesca without the rest of my girls there, but I didn’t think I could wait one second longer.

  Driving them home was going to be hard enough. Alone in the car with my best friend, attempting to hide my burgeoning bump, and making chitchat for close to an hour. I really hoped she was excited to fill me in on Ireland.

  Squealing, I jumped up as she ran toward me. I maneuvered my body so she didn’t crush my kid, and held her tightly. “I missed you,” I said as she held me just as hard.

  “I missed you!” she exclaimed, pulling back and grinning widely.

  Cade walked up, rolling their luggage along and I reached to hug him, too. Surprised, he returned the gesture, and we headed to my car. The drive was filled with talking and laughter as they told me all about their trip. The crazy tour driver who was insistent they needed to have children soon (oh, the irony), the random goats they ran into on their walks around town, and the overall experience had me in hysterics. If I was a few more months along, I probably wouldn’t have made it to the bathroom in time.

  The cars of our friends filled their driveway and Francesca gasped in surprise. “What’s this?”

  “Welcome home,” I grinned.

  She smiled back from the seat beside me, unsnapping her seatbelt and hopping out of the car. Cade followed, and I lagged behind. My nerves were getting the best of me. The moment I saw Zander’s car, the weight of the reality of what was about to happen washed over me.

  My best friend, the woman I was closest to in this world, was about to find out I was pregnant. We’d talked about things like this when we were younger, and I always thought she’d be the one to do it all: marriage, babies, a white picket fence. I never imagined I’d be pregnant before her.

  Never.

  Yet, here we were. I followed them inside, going straight to Zander for support. He wrapped an arm around me, gaining some raised eyebrows from those standing closest to us, but I didn’t even care. What we were about to say would be monumental, something we couldn’t take back, and in reality, it was making me weak-kneed.

  “You ok?” he whispered. Lightly, he tucked my hair behind my ear and I shuddered.

  I nodded when words wouldn’t come.

  After Francesca and Cade made their rounds, Zander took charge and called everyone’s attention. “Hey, can you all sit down, please?”

  I wrung my hands together, possibly cutting off the circulation to my fingertips.

  Francesca stared at his arm around me, looking from him to me and back a few times. “Daphne?”

  Giving a shy grin, I shrugged. In my pocket were the pictures of our baby, and I was seconds away from throwing them on the table for everyone to figure out on their own.

  “What’s going on?” Cade asked. He took Francesca’s hand, looking equally confused.

  Zander cleared his throat. “We have an announcement,” he started.

  “Y’all are dating?!” Kylie squealed out.

  Clenching my eyes shut, I shook my head. “We’re pregnant, actually.”

  I’d said it. I’d actually said it. Peering one eye opened, I looked to see if anyone heard me.

  The room was in shock, everyone’s mouths were wide open and eyes bulging, except Bree’s. She nodded in encouragement when I looked at her, eyes pleading for help. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out the string of photos and Zander took them from me, holding them out for everyone to see.

  “We’re having a baby in March,” he repeated, hoping someone would speak.

  Silence continued to fill the room, and I glanced at him with worry. What did we do now?

  Cade was the one to finally speak, clearing his throat several times before stating, “We were only gone two weeks.”

  Zander chuckled, squeezing my shoulder before replying. “Yes, you were. We actually made the baby in June.”

  “You mean you had sex in June,” Ava countered.

  “Obviously,” I said sarcastically. “We didn’t realize who the other was.”

  I hoped they would take that explanation and not question it. I knew Francesca would, and I would tell her, but I didn’t want to make it so publically known.

  “Anyway, we figured we would fill everyone in while we were all together. I’m sure Francesca and Cade want to rest,” Zander said, saving the day once again. Why was he so amazing?

  “Francesca,” I said, moving closer to her. “Can we talk for a minute?”

  The hurt she felt
was obvious in her eyes, the gleaming pain staring at me as she nodded. I guided her to the kitchen, anxiously waiting to speak the words I hoped helped her to not be so upset. “Francesca, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”

  “You were pregnant at my wedding and didn’t tell me,” she fumed. “How could you do that?”

  “I didn’t want to take away from your day,” I explained. “You’ve waited for this for so long and I didn’t want to take that from you.”

  Tears brimmed in her eyes, “You should have told me. And what the hell? You and Zander?” Francesca rarely cursed, so I knew she was seriously pissed.

  “We had a one night stand,” I shrugged, my own tears appearing. “It was a mistake. He was playing at a bar, and I was attracted to him.”

  “A one night stand?” she squeaked.

  Hushing her, I turned to see if anyone in the other room heard. “Yeah, Franny, a one-night stand.”

  She looked at me like she didn’t even know me, and I wondered if she did. “Do you do that a lot?”

  “I have some problems, Franny,” I cried. The tears blurred my vision and clouded my thoughts. Clenching them shut, I pushed the tears out on my face. “I have depression, but no one really knows. I’ve been on medicine since I was fifteen. Sometimes, I just want to feel normal and drinking and men do that for me,” I blurted out, choking on my words.

  Her brows furrowed and her mouth fell as she reached for me, hugging me tightly. “Why didn’t you tell me, Daph?”

  Sobbing into her shoulder, I mumbled. “I don’t know. I didn’t want anyone to think I was broken, but I am.”

  She pulled back, holding me by the shoulders, her own face streaked red and wet. “You are not broken, Daphne Waterman. Don’t ever say that.” Peering down, she extended her hand and touched my stomach. “You’re going to be a mommy.”

  Some sort of laugh-sob escaped my throat and I nodded. “Yeah, I am.”

  “Oh, Daphne,” she said again, holding me tightly. “I’m so happy. I’m sorry you felt you couldn’t tell me.”

  “Francesca,” I said, leading her to the table and sitting down. “Listen. It wasn’t you, I promise. I didn’t tell anyone. My mom and sister only knew because they lived with me. I knew you would worry and I didn’t want that,” I said. Holding her hand in mine, I squeezed tightly. “I love you so much. Please believe me.”

  She nodded, a few tears silently falling. “I believe you. I’m sad my best friend hurt and I couldn’t help is all.”

  “Well, I’m not on medicine anymore cause of the baby, so you can definitely help me in the next few months,” I chuckled.

  She shook her head at me. “I’m glad you can joke about this.”

  Holding my stomach, I shrugged. “I have to. Makes it easier to deal with.”

  Placing her hand on top of mine, she smiled a huge grin. “I’m so going to spoil that baby.”

  Laughing loudly, I said, “I think everyone is saying that.”

  She leaned over in her chair, checking to see if anyone was coming. “Zander…I can’t believe it’s his. He’s cute, though, huh?”

  Rolling my eyes dramatically, I said, “Soooo cute.”

  We giggled like children and were interrupted by Zander and Cade walking in the room.

  “You two ok?” Cade asked, taking in our tear streaked faces.

  Francesca nodded, taking his hand. “Yeah.”

  I stood, hugging her and promising to have a date soon so we could discuss more baby stuff. Zander walked me to my car, holding on to the small of my back as I took the steps slowly. They scared me. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to our little musician, so I was probably more cautious than needed, but I didn’t care.

  “Hey, Daphne,” he said as I headed to my car.

  “Yeah?” I said turning.

  “I wanted to ask you something.” He sounded nervous.

  “Alright.”

  “I bought a house,” he blurted.

  Grinning, I raised my brows. “Congrats, but that wasn’t a question,” I chuckled.

  “I know. The question is…will you move in with me?”

  My keys fell to the ground as I stared at him. Move in with him? Was he serious?

  “I just…we’re going to be parents. And I don’t think either of us wants to be passing him or her back and forth all the time. The thought kills me, to be honest, and I bought a really big house. There’s plenty of room for you to have your area, and me to have mine. And when the baby comes, we’ll both be there,” he explained.

  His blue eyes were kind and large as he pleaded with me. He had a good point. Passing our child back and forth wasn’t ok with me either, and I was needing a new place to live.

  But would living with Zander be the best bet? The draw I felt to him was intense. Would I be able to keep myself from falling for him and his gentleman ways? Would falling for him be so terrible?

  Love was something I ran from, something I didn’t think I would ever want or deserve. The darkness that consumed me teased and taunted me for years about how I wasn’t good enough for a decent man, how I’d never have one love me. Did this prove it was wrong?

  No, it didn’t, I decided after thinking it over. He simply wanted to be there for his child. It had nothing to do with me. And if he was going to be an adult about it, the least I could do was think it over. “Can I let you know in a few days?”

  He nodded, sweat popping out across his forehead. “I can take you over there and show you tomorrow, if you want.”

  I nodded. “That would be great,” I smiled. “I’m really tired, though. I’m going to go home.”

  “Of course,” he said. “Sleep well.”

  Getting in my car, I sat long after he’d drove away thinking about what he’d proposed. I could see myself falling in love with the man I was pregnant with…and I didn’t know if that was a good or bad thing. Only time would tell. Patting my stomach, I promised my little musician one thing. “I’ll always put you first and do what’s best for you, little man.”

  I want to thank my friends and family for the countless support. I love you all.

  Momma, I couldn't do this without you. I appreciate everything you do for me so I have time to write!!

  My Dauntless Indies gals: I adore each and every one of you. Thank you for the advice, support, love, and shoulders to whine/cry on.

  To my wonderful friend, Jessica: Thank you for suggesting Zander's name all those months ago. Who knew his character would grow so much?!

  Find out more about Daphne, Zander, and their little musician in Bound Souls, coming soon!!!

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