The First Touch of Sunlight

by Len Webster

  Meredith’s eyes snapped up to see him staring at her, and her fingers dug into the cotton jacket.

  “What is that?” Sam asked.

  “It’s yours,” she replied and made long strides until she was within close distance to hand it over to him. “Your old bomber jacket you used to let me wear. I found it when I was unpacking and reorganising my room.”

  Sam held it by the shoulders and watched it unfold, his eyes scanning the piece of clothing. “I thought you got rid of this.”

  She shook her head the moment he lowered the jacket. “It wasn’t mine to throw away.”

  “Your initial is still stitched on here,” he pointed out.

  “Where it should be. My heart on my sleeve.”

  If she had been alone and that memory had resurfaced, she’d have broken down in a sob. It was one of only a few times she had ever felt as if Sam cared for her the way she had cared for him.

  “Yeah,” Meredith agreed in a shaky voice. “You’d better go see your son.”

  Sam blinked several times, as if he were lost in a memory. He glanced at Meredith and then the jacket twice, shaking his head. “Right. We’ll talk properly, I promise, Meredith. Believe me; we’ll talk. I’ll call you.” He rushed out of her home, and she listened to the echoes of the front door slam.

  “You don’t even have my number,” Meredith whispered as she stared out into the hallway.

  With a regretful sigh, she made her way upstairs and into her bedroom to find Dutch lying on her bed. When she reached her dog, she sat at the foot of the bed, lifted his paw off her own year twelve jacket, and let it sit in her lap. Meredith picked up the sleeve and let her thumb caress the curves of the gold ‘S’ that had been stitched on it. Tears prickled and her heart dipped as she remembered all the times they had shared together.

  “I’d worn your initial on my sleeve long after it was stitched on, Sam. Our initials weren’t just symbolic … Not to me.”

  The sun that filtered through her thin bedroom curtains had Meredith raising her palms and allowing the light to touch her skin. This was her favourite part of every morning. The feel of the warm sun was a reminder that life always goes on. The soft snore that came from the foot of the bed had Meredith on her elbows, peeking at her border collie sleeping.

  “Good morning, Dutch,” she cooed.

  Dutch’s ears twitched, but he didn’t move.

  “Good morning, Dutch,” she repeated and then made small kicks underneath the blanket. The dog swung his head around and then bolted up the bed. Meredith wrapped her arm around him as she petted his head. Then Dutch snuggled next to her. “Sorry I was gone for so long, boy. I didn’t think I’d be away for seven years.”

  Dutch whimpered then licked her cheek.

  “Come on; let’s go get you some breakfast. We have a big day. An IGA opened up close by while I was overseas, I see. Mamma didn’t leave us much in the pantry except for the ingredients needed to make Papa’s fruit pies.” She shook her head and then sat up properly. “Let’s walk to the shops, Dutch.”

  It took an hour for Meredith to give Dutch his breakfast and for her to shower and get dressed. She’d have been out the door earlier had she not been on the phone for twenty minutes with her ex-boyfriend. Though they were no longer together, they were still on good terms. Jean Paul seemed okay. He just pretended as if they had never been romantic. For a second, Meredith was upset, but then again, she had no reason to be. He was never the man her heart wanted. No, that honour was bestowed upon the same man who had broken her heart so much so that the times outweighed the fragments.

  “Okay, I’m just going to be a minute. I’ll get some bread and milk. And if they have any of those long-lasting treats in there, I’ll get you one. Now, be good. Papa vouches for you when he says that you wait patiently. Don’t let him down,” Meredith teased. Besides Margot, Dutch had also been her best friend back in high school. Her parents had surprised her with him as a puppy when she was sixteen. Her bond with her pet strengthened when he had been her distraction. She smiled at him sitting, kissed his snout, and made her way into the store.

  Once she had found the aisle she was looking for, Meredith made her way to the shelves of bread. She missed that about the Netherlands—the fresh pastries. And because she had never bothered to learn how to make them, Meredith would have to stick with toast and cereal for breakfast. White bread. Sandwich bread. Toast bread. Wholemeal bread. All grain bread. There were a lot to choose from, and a loaf of bread had risen in price since she’d last been home.

  “Sandwich sliced bread, it is,” she muttered to herself as she reached over and picked up the loaf.

  “Mere?” a deep, male voice asked. She froze instantly. “Meredith Driessen?”

  Slowly, she faced the slightly familiar voice. When she took in his dark grey eyes and his almost jet-black hair, she instantly smiled at him.

  “Tony Pascals?”

  He grinned flawlessly at her. “Holy shit. It really is you, Mere.”

  “Wow, you look incredible,” she pointed out as she admired the navy suit he wore perfectly.

  “Me?” He shook his head at her. “You got even more beautiful.”

  Always with the compliments.

  And as always, Meredith decided to ignore them. “What are you doing here? Could have sworn back in high school you said you’d be leaving the suburbs once you graduated. Leave the bubble that is Warren Meadows,” she reminded.

  Tony grinned and nodded his head. “Yeah, looks like I went back on my word there. Rent’s cheaper here than in the city. But I didn’t succumb to the bubble; I don’t have kids, and I am far from getting married. Anyways, what are you doing back in town?”

  Meredith glanced at the loaf of bread in her hand and then back at Tony. “Got offered a job at the primary school, and well … I thought it was time to come back to Australia.”

  “It’s good to have you—” Tony paused the moment his phone rang in his pants pocket. He pulled it out and groaned at the screen. “I gotta run. Work wants me to return to the office. Hey, we should have dinner and catch up.”

  “Ah, yeah, that sounds great,” Meredith agreed.

  Tony Pascals had been one of her friends during their last year of high school. The smile on his face was so familiar and sweet. Tony reached into the inside pocket of his jacket and then handed her a business card. Staring at it, she raised a brow at him.

  “Property and land surveyor?” she questioned with a hint of humour in her voice.

  “So I didn’t become a professional field hockey player. My career was always going to be short lived once I blew out my knee. It’s not the highest paying job out there, but I enjoy it.”

  “Well, I’ll give you a call,” she promised.

  “Seven years is a long time, Mere. It’d be nice to see how you are,” Tony said, and she nodded in agreement. He spun around and made his way towards the freezer aisle. Meredith glanced down at his business card and then slid it into her back jeans pocket. Right now, as much as she’d love to reminisce with Tony, she wasn’t the same Meredith she’d been at seventeen. Her main goal was to survive her first day tomorrow as Josh Michaels’ teacher.

  The son of the only man she loved. The man she let ruin her once beating heart.

  “We’re sorry we can’t be there for your first day, Merida,” her papa said.

  Meredith pushed the stop button of her BMW coupé. On her eighteenth birthday, her parents had gifted her the silver Audi hatchback. But when Meredith insisted on going to university in the Netherlands, she had her parents sell it. When she had told her parents of her return, they had gone car shopping that day, picking out the brand new midnight blue M2 coupé. She had fussed over the phone when her parents had sent her a picture.

  However, her father had just retired and had explained she’d need a car while they took the family Range Rover on thei
r caravan trip up the Australian coast. They had started in Victoria, and they would end at the very tip of Queensland. It had been a dream of theirs. Her parents were going to cancel their plans when she had revealed her intentions of returning to Warren Meadows, but Meredith told them it was unnecessary. She would be okay.

  The truth was she just didn’t want her parents around in case she broke.

  But so far, her memories hadn’t destroyed her. She’d had little contact with Samuel Michaels, and she was sure they wouldn’t see much of each other. As always, their priorities differed in ways that would never meet or match.

  And for Meredith, never fitting in each other’s lives made a lot of sense.

  “Merida, are you still there?”

  She blinked rapidly at the sight of the raindrops that hit her windshield. “Yeah, Papa. I’m still here. And stop that. You and Mamma have nothing to be sorry about. I’d better go and get the classroom set up. I spent all of yesterday reading the lesson plan.”

  “You’re a natural with kids. They will love you,” assured her father.

  “Thanks, Papa. Tell Mamma that I’ll call later. I love you both.”

  “We love you, Merida. We are both happy that you’re home. We’ll see you in a couple of months.” Then he hung up, and Meredith slipped her phone into her bag on the passenger seat. Inside was her laptop, the lesson plans for the rest of the term, and the latest Colleen Hoover book she had been meaning to read.

  A tap on the window had her turning. She squinted her eyes to find Margot waving at her. Meredith smiled. Today would be the first day they’d be working together. All through high school, they had been excited about going to university together and then finding a school that would hire them both as teachers. But that had all changed when Meredith stopped by Margot’s house before their graduation. Her brother, Cooper, had answered the door. Margot wasn’t home, and to this day, her best friend still didn’t know that her brother had helped her make the decision to leave Warren Meadows. She was sure Cooper hadn’t meant to, but he was right. The suburbs was a bubble she needed to escape. Especially with Sam about to become a father.

  She quickly pushed the thought of Cooper Hepburn away, reached for her bag, and got out of her car. Margot had taken a step back as Meredith closed the door behind her and covered them with the black umbrella.

  “Happy first day of school, Miss Driessen,” Margot said; the excitement in her voice was not hard to miss.

  Meredith let out a light laugh. “Thanks, Margot.”

  “You ready?” her best friend asked as they walked towards the front entrance of Warren Meadows Primary School.

  “Yep. I read over Charlotte’s lesson plans. She said I could call her if I didn’t understand—”

  “I meant are you ready to teach Sam’s son?” Margot clarified.

  Meredith stopped in her tracks, as did Margot. She glanced down at where the scratch had been on her right hand and remembered just how she had obtained it. It had been seven years ago. When she had saved Sam’s life. “I …”

  “He’s a great kid, Meredith. He adores Phil and even calls me Aunty Marg. He idolises Sam.”

  “I never blamed him for any of it. I never had a single ill thought about his son. Not when I found out that Beth was pregnant and not even now. I’m ready to teach him. If I can’t handle it, then I shouldn’t be a teacher at all.”

  Margot’s lips made a fine line. One Meredith had not missed. “He never deserved you, Mere. He may be Phil’s best friend, but you’re mine. And I’m not afraid to say that he never deserved your love.”

  Small fragments of her heart chipped and broke into even tinier pieces. She had heard Margot say it a million times and more. But in the seven years she had been apart from Sam, she felt as if she deserved it for foolishly believing that he could love her just the same as she had loved him.

  “Remember when we were sixteen?” Meredith asked to change the subject.

  Margot had closed the umbrella and shaken the water off it before they entered the main school building. “Sixteen was a long year.”

  Meredith laughed in agreement. But Margot had no idea what had really happened. No one did. “Remember when your brother took me home from that party after you got completely wasted.”

  Margot groaned. “Oh, God. I was his personal slave for a month to make sure he didn’t tell Mum and Dad.”

  “How is Coop?”

  “He’s engaged.” Margot’s smile was as flawless as the twinkle in her eye.

  “Coop, your brother? The anti-marriage-and-settle-down guy … is engaged?” Meredith asked unbelievably. She had remembered him telling her in his car how much he detested all the traits of the South Eastern suburbs bubble.

  Her best friend laughed. “Yeah. He got this job in Daylesford on a whim and met the most amazing woman. I swear, Mere, she is way out of his league, but she’s completely in love with him. You’ll meet her at my birthday party. You’re gonna love her.”

  “Your birthday is over a month away.”

  Margot grinned. “Glad to see you still remember my birthday.”

  “As if I could for—”

  “Ladies.” Harry’s voice startled Meredith. The assistant principal set a hand on her shoulder. It was uncomfortable and caused her to still instantly. “We’re having a meeting to introduce and welcome Meredith. We need you both in the meeting room.”

  Margot stepped towards Harry and pushed his hand off her. “First off, Meredith is too polite to tell you that she doesn’t handle people touching her very well. And secondly, she also doesn’t like people she barely knows calling her by her full name.”

  The protectiveness in Margot’s voice and stance had Meredith smiling. Her best friend had still remembered all her little tics. “Margot, it’s okay.”

  “No, no,” Harry said gently, shaking his head. “I apologise, Mere. Now, let’s go welcome you to Warren Meadows Primary School.”

  Deep breaths.

  You can do this, Meredith.

  A shaky breath later, Meredith leant against the teacher’s desk of her classroom. It was her first time teaching in Australia, and she had no idea how much it would differ from the Netherlands until her pupils walked in. Unlike her previous classroom setup, Charlotte had the tables situated towards the back of the room with enough space for all the preps to sit on the floor for most of the lesson. If the teachers’ meeting wasn’t nerve-wracking enough, waiting for the six-year-olds she’d teach added to it. For most of the teachers’ meeting, countless pairs of eyes were on her. They were people she’d never seen before. When Meredith and Margot had gone to primary school, they attended Old Warren Meadows Primary School before it closed. When they had left for high school, a new school had been built.

  Meredith peeked at the clock above the pin board. Four minutes until class started. And as if on cue, she heard footsteps. She swung her gaze to the door to see her new students enter the classroom with wide eyes and wary smiles. They were not only curious about her but also cautious. She had no doubts that they wondered if she was a nice or mean teacher. All Meredith did was smile and wished them good morning as they put their bags in their cubbyholes and sat in front of her. So young and so innocent. She wondered what they’d be when they grew up. One of them could change the world. It was what she did every time she taught a new class. She hoped she would inspire one of them. What she was excited to see was the light bulb moment. When she taught something that made sense to them and she could see it in the way their eyes lit up and their mouths dropped.

  It was one of the many reasons she had wanted to teach.

  To have that influence and reaction from her students.

  Taking one last deep breath to calm her nerves, Meredith turned around and picked up the student roll and a pen. When she spun back around, her eyes were on the list of students’ names as she heard the school bell ring
loudly in her classroom.

  “Good morning, everyone. I’m Miss Driessen, but you can call me Miss D.”

  “Good morning, Miss D,” the preps said in unison.

  “I’ll be your teach—” Meredith’s sentence faulted when she’d glanced up to see familiar brown eyes. Familiar eyes that caused her heart to accelerate vigorously in her chest.

  They were so gentle and young.

  So innocent.

  They resembled Sam’s.

  Meredith smiled at him. Only for him to smile right back at her.

  He smiles just like him.

  Josh’s grin was all Meredith needed to reassure herself that she could teach him. She could never blame him. Sam had made the right choice for him and his son. And Meredith could never fault Sam for choosing him.

  “I’ll be your teacher for the rest of the year. How about we play a game?” she offered in a cheery voice, wishing the intense thumping of her heart would return to normal.

  “Yes!” her students shouted excitedly, causing her to giggle.

  “When I call your name for the roll, why don’t you tell me your favourite colour?”

  Eyes sparkled in front of her. As she had called out the names of her new students, she found that most of their favourite colours were blue or pink. When Meredith reached his name, she felt her chest tighten. She took a deep breath and her eyes met his.

  “Joshua Michaels,” she called.

  His smile widened as he raised his hand. “Here, Miss D,” he announced in a soft voice.

  “And what is your favourite colour, Josh?”

  Josh’s lips pursed as he lowered his hand back into his lap. Then he blinked and said, “Yellow … like my dad’s.”

  Meredith’s breathing laboured as she found it difficult to inhale oxygen. “And… and why is your father’s favourite colour yellow? Why is it yours?”

  “My dad’s favourite colour is the first yellow beam of sunlight in the morning. He used to tell me that when I stayed over, and he’d wake me up to show me. My favourite colour is yellow.”