Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  “Which is a pity, because I really liked the mask,” Rex muttered.

  He pulled the hood of his jacket down over his head, pushed a button on his teleport belt, and disappeared in a flash of light.

  CHAPTER SIX: THE RISE OF DUKE TERROR

  Your choice of secret base says a lot about you. Preferably is should say ‘this person is dangerously deranged and should be avoided at all cost’, but there are lots of paths to that point. Do you favor the gothic classics or a high–tech glitterball? There is no right answer; your base should be an expression of who you are.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Rex loved his new base.

  It was on a deserted tropical island bordered by long beaches of white sand and shark–filled reefs that discouraged casual visitors. The island was covered by jungles full of dangerous insects, and at its center stood a smoldering volcano riddled with caves. Rex stood in the largest cave as ghostly vampire bats clung to the roof and flames burst from fissures in the ground. Teams of mutants with dog–like faces were carving new doorways, installing lights, and doing the hundreds of little jobs required to turn a cave into a functional villainous headquarters. The work was going fast, and the caves were already filling with forbidding shadows and rocks carved with strange faces. Rex was smiling – he couldn’t think of a better place to be, or anything he would rather be doing.

  “This is more like it, guys. We can make this cave the hangar for my new air force. How is that coming, by the way?” Rex asked happily.

  He was wearing his grey jacket as he always did, but he had rolled the sleeves up above the elbow because of the heat.

  “We have a set of stolen Hellcat copters parked on the beach, and a jump–jet Skyre found for cheap on EvilBay is arriving this afternoon. Plus I ordered several gyrocopters we can arm with lasers,” said Slade.

  Slade was in shorts, a t–shirt and sandals as normal, yet he didn’t sound as enthusiastic about the new base as Rex had expected him to be, considering how close it was to the beach.

  “What’s wrong, Slade? I thought you would love this place?”

  Slade shrugged and didn’t meet Rex’s eye.

  “This place is great… I guess I’m just worried that the superheroes will attack before we are ready.”

  “Don’t worry, it won’t be long before we have a tough crew of cut–throat, unstable criminals to protect us,” said Rex.

  “Good. I… I should go set up the filing systems,” said Slade, and walked away.

  “Be nice to the mutants!” Rex called after him.

  Skyre was organizing the base defenses. Her Mohawk was sagging a little in the heat, but she was still wearing her heavy black trench coat in defiance of tropical fashion.

  “Report,” Rex said.

  “The visible fires of this place are a mere veil of flames over the eternal, breathless stones. I have the geologists’ reports, and they say we are fine.”

  “So... the volcano won’t erupt any time soon?” said Rex, who sometimes struggled with Skyre’s gloomy outlook on life.

  “Our souls are forfeit to the hungry gods that wait in the shadows, but our miserable lives will not be lost to these fires. We should be safe enough.”

  “Good. Wipe the last week of the geologists’ memories and then send them home,” said Rex.

  “A mind is simply memory as bodies are simply flesh. Surely we can get rid of both at once?” asked Skyre.

  “You want to throw the geologists in the shark tank? It’s not ready yet. Besides, we might need them again. Let’s save the shark tanks for superheroes.”

  Skyre nodded, but she didn’t leave.

  “What’s on your mind?” Rex asked, because he had worked with Skyre long enough to know she didn’t make small talk.

  Skyre looked around to make sure that no–one was listening to their conversation, and then leaned in towards Rex.

  “We mortals are just driftwood awash on the sea of inevitable tides, yet some still conspire to challenge fate through despicable betrayal. What about the spy from our last base?”

  “Are you convinced there was one?”

  Skyre shrugged. She had no proof, but her instincts were strong.

  “Inevitable betrayal is simply a part of being a supervillain, so maybe it’s for the best that we have to hire new staff for this base,” said Rex thoughtfully.

  “The cruelest knives are often carried in the hands that once held ours,” warned Skyre.

  Rex laughed and patted her on the shoulder. She glared at him, but he just smiled.

  “You are particularly dour and gothic today, aren’t you? I’ll think about what you said. Slade!” Rex called out loudly.

  His assistant appeared at his side with a diary.

  “Would you like your itinerary for today?” Slade asked.

  “Yes.”

  “The Professor wants to see you now, and you have a League meeting after that. I’ll have a short list for a new Chief of Minions for you when you get back. Once you have reached a decision we can work out a priority list of henchmen and minion hires, as well as equipment lists. I’ve already started the rumor that Master SCREAM’s favorite student will be taking over his empire, but I’ll need a name to start spreading around as soon as possible so we can shore up our overseas operations. People are going to start calling us for help soon and we need a plan.”

  “Right. Busy day ahead, then,” said Rex.

  Heroes simply saved the day and then went home, but being a villain was complicated and required a lot of work. Rex didn’t enjoy handling the detailed logistics of running his enormous empire, which is why he had hired Slade, but there were some decisions that he had to make himself. He sat in meetings and conference calls for hours before he could finally take a break and visit the Professor. He brightened up a little when he saw that new labs were in a cave beside a lava flow that cast an unholy red light across the room.

  “Very nice, Professor. Very villainous. I’ll have to find a lava flow of my own for my study.”

  “Yes, yes, yes the fire is warm and wonderful, but do you think it may distract from our studies?”

  “Not if we threaten to throw people into it,” said Rex after a moment’s thought.

  “Yes, no, yes perhaps it will inspire creativity in our teams. Do you wish to see our setup?”

  “Yes. How are you settling in?”

  A pair of the mutt–like mutants walked past carrying a huge microscope. They were followed by a second pair carrying a clockwork–powered laser, and a third with a large pot plant. Rex pointed his finger at the pot plant, interested.

  “What is that? Have you guys been making killer plants like triffids?” he asked.

  “No, no, no that is simply a pot plant. Scientists also like greenery, yes, and why would we not?”

  “Ah… okay. But get someone working on a triffid project immediately? I think they would be ideal guards for the jungle. Plus triffids are cool.”

  Professor Engelmanthing pointed at one of the three scientists that had been brought from the old base and spat out a few words in German. One of the scientists, a short women with electric blue hair, walked over to a whiteboard and started sketching ideas for killer plants. She added leaves shaped like tentacles and flowers full of teeth, and then gave the killer plant a smiley face.

  “Good. Now, did you have something to show me?” asked Rex.

  The Professor looked blank for a few seconds, and then smiled as he remembered why he had called Rex to the lab.

  “Yes, yes, yes. Look at what I have made for you, aren’t you happy?”

  He walked over to a workbench and picked up a red mask painted with an outrageously large set of teeth so that its mouth looked like it belonged to a far larger, far hungrier beast than and simple human. It also had a mess of silver spines as sharp as razors. It shared nothing in common with Master SCREAM’s mask other than being very scary.

  “Cool,” said Rex, and slipped it on
.

  “Cold? No, no, no it has a warming unit built in for you. And night vision, yes, and a radio. Do you like it?”

  “I do. Good work. I think we also need to talk about –”

  Rex’s phone started ringing. He rolled his eyes and flicked it open.

  “What?” he said.

  A soft voice on the phone spoke for a few seconds while Rex waited impatiently.

  “Yes, we had to move. It was a necessary setback. Don’t worry about it, it's under control.”

  The soft voice kept talking but Rex interrupted.

  “I said it's under control. If you want to help, help Slade find me suitable minions. Is that the only reason you called me?”

  The voice whispered something urgently and Rex almost dropped the phone.

  “What? WHAT? Send that through immediately!”

  He turned the phoned off and picked up his new mask.

  “I have to go, Professor, an unscheduled rocket has just been reported flying up to Icarus.”

  “Yes, no, no but who–”

  Rex waved goodbye to the Professor and ran back to the hangar where Skyre was waiting for him.

  “Start talking,” he demanded.

  “Even the mighty shall meet their downfall, for time is callous and cares nothing for our endeavors. Some of the mighty will be falling sooner than others, though, because I have reports coming in that Riot Master is on the Icarus,” Skyre said, consulting her data pad.

  “Why would Riot Master be so stupid? Don’t answer that, just send me his location.”

  “Can your teleport belt even take you that far?” asked Slade.

  “It can take me anywhere in the Soalr system. I’d better get going.”

  “The memory of your fallen alter ego fades as all things must fade, leaving you naked in a world of cannibals. You can’t go out dressed like that,” protested Skyre.

  “She’s right, you need a new identity,” said Slade.

  “I’ll just be quick, no–one will recognize me,” muttered Rex as he played with the settings on his teleport belt.

  His two assistants exchanged a glance and then grabbed his arms and dragged him to a big box of clothes and disguises of all kinds.

  “I know you are worried, but there is such a thing as style, boss,” said Slade reproachfully.

  Rex sighed and opened the box.

  “You are right, of course. Look, the Professor made me a new mask for the occasion.”

  “This visage mirrors the abyss itself!” said Skyre, stepping back.

  “Yikes,” agreed Slade.

  Rex pulled a white shirt and a grey business suit out of the box and looked at them. His greyholo-jacket shimmered, and a second later Rex looked like he was wearing the shirt and suit. He put them away and slipped on a pair of grey leather shoes to complete the costume. Rex pulled his mask on and turned to look at himself in a full length mirror.

  “You look like an accountant that got possessed by a demon,” said Slade in admiration.

  “Perfect,” said Rex.

  He touched his belt and disappeared in a flash.

  CHAPTER SEVEN: THE ICARUS

  Stay away from the Icarus. A lot of aspiring supervillains ignore this advice and end up in the prisons of Venus.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Rex appeared with a violent flash.

  His teleport belt was the most powerful ever made, but even it wasn’t very accurate over long distances. Instead of landing on his feet as he normally did, he was thrown sideways into a wall. Luckily he had teleported into a clothes shop and a pile of clothes broke his fall. He staggered into a mannequin draped with expensive scarves, knocking it over. A few of the scarves got tangled around his arms and made it difficult for him to stand, but he pulled them off and threw them at the terrified store assistant.

  “These aren’t even real silk! What kind of scam are you trying to pull here?”

  Rex wrapped a red scarf around his neck and strode out of the store without paying as an alarm started ringing behind him. Petty theft was beneath him, really, but he liked red. The street outside the shop was paved with stones and lined with elegant trees. It looked like the best parts of old Earth, but the sky above was also lined with houses and roads. The city of Icarus was built on the inside of a giant sphere with a single thin column that passed through the center. The air was full of birdsong, but Rex’s sharp ears could also hear the distant hum of fusion reactors beneath his feet.

  Rex looked around with interest; he had never been on the Icarus before.

  His red phone began to ring and he pulled it out.

  “Slade? Good, I’m glad you can get through to me all the way out here. Our emergency gold supply? It’s in that cave–in the Bahamas where the giant scorpion lives. But I can’t help now, I’m busy.”

  A distant scream from a nearby park caught Rex’s attention, and he started running towards it. He dived behind a tree and peered around its trunk. A fight had broken out in the park between two groups of superheroes. About half of them had eyes that were totally black, and they moved very clumsily. A group of these zombie heroes managed to wrestle a blue–eyed superhero to the ground, and when he stood up he also had black eyes. He moaned, spat fire, and lurched towards a fleeing superhero to drag him back for assimilation. The fight was a disordered mess of friends turned into foes, and the park was being ruined by stray fireballs and super powered kicks gone wrong.

  “Classic Riot Master tactics,” said Rex approvingly.

  He watched for a few minutes but couldn’t see Riot Master himself,

  The ranks of zombie–like superheroes were swelling as Riot Master recruited more to his mob. A couple took off into the air, but their flying was awkward and clumsy.

  “I know Riot Master can take over normal people and mutants, but hasn’t ever been able to use his powers to control superheroes before… so something has changed. What could he be planning?” Rex wondered.

  Then he saw who he was looking for: Riot Master, wearing a ragged black cloak, was standing in a group of superheroes who were all at least two feet taller than him.

  “Hey! Riot Master!” Rex shouted out.

  Then Rex saw something that made him freeze: a new group of superheroes in the golden capes of the Icarus Police were gathering in the streets around the park, and they were led by none other than Mister Wonderful himself. There was no chance that Riot Master could stand against such powerful superheroes.

  “At least I have a way out,” Rex muttered, touching the controls of his teleport belt

  Mister Wonderful and the Icarus Police rushed at the mind–controlled heroes, and after a few seconds it became clear that Riot Master’s army were losing to the more coordinated Icarus Police. Riot Master was still yelling at his people, but it was only a matter of time before he lost. Rex slipped a small stun rod out of his holo-jacket and dived into the crowed of zombified–superheroes. He ducked under their clumsy arms and hit Riot Master with the stun stick, knocking him off his feet. Rex struggled to pull him out of the crowd and dragged him down a quiet side street as an out–and–out brawl broke out in the park behind them.

  He propped Riot Master up against a wall and slapped him, hard. Riot Master opened his eyes, screamed, and tried to push Rex away.

  “It’s me, idiot,” hissed Rex, pulling his mask aside for a second.

  “Rex? Thank goodness, you scared the life out of me!”

  “What’s the second rule of the League Of Teenage Supervillains?” demanded Rex.

  “What? What do you mean?”

  “What’s Rule Two, idiot?”

  “Don’t mess with Icarus,” said Riot Master nervously.

  “And what were you doing today, Geoffrey?”

  “Messing with Icarus… but I had everything under control!” protested Geoffrey, who very much preferred his supervillain name of Riot Master.

  “Really? It looked to me like you were about to get steam rolled by Miste
r Wonderful and his pet heroes. Do you really think you would have survived that? They would have thrown you out of the nearest airlock for the trouble you caused today.”

  “I could have handled them,” Riot Master said sullenly.

  “Do you really think so? Fine, I’ll leave you here to follow your plan.”

  A zombified superhero under Riot Master’s control flew past and crashed into a shop window, shattering the glass. A member of the Icarus Police soon followed, grabbing the superhero and throwing him right out of the store and back into the street. Mister Wonderful had already knocked out most of Riot Master’s zombified superheroes, and when they woke up again they would be keen for revenge. Rex stood up to leave, but Riot Master grabbed his arm.

  “No, don’t leave me! I don’t even know how I got here. All I can remember is hearing that Icarus had a dozen hypertime stasis projectors… and I really want one.”

  “Hypertime stasis projectors? Those are very rare. What color is it?” said Rex with sudden interest, all danger forgotten.

  “Red? Or blue, maybe. Does it matter?”

  Rex pulled out the list that Professor Engelmanthing had given him.

  “As long as it isn’t black or green. Did you get it?”

  “No! The superheroes are too strong around here. Can we just go, please?”

  The crowd of mind–controlled superheroes was already starting to return to normal, and alarms were ringing out all over the Icarus. Rex hesitated for a second. The Icarus Police weren’t very observant, but soon even they would work out that Riot Master was behind the attack, and it wouldn’t take them long to find him. It was time for prudent supervillains to make their getaway while they still could.

  “Come on, then, we have a League meeting to get to,” said Rex, tapping his belt.

  They disappeared in a flash, leaving their trademark chaos behind them.