Rex Rogue And The League Of Teenage Supervillains

by C. H. Aalberry

  CHAPTER EIGHT: THE LEAGUE

  Friends are important. Who else is going to break you out of prison?

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  The League of Teenage Supervillains held their weekly meetings in the halls of a hidden library in a valley below Mount Everest. The halls of the library had been cold and abandoned for centuries, making it the perfect place for secret gatherings. The League had set up a table and a couple of camping chairs beside a large fireplace in one of the halls. A cheerful fire was already burning when Rex arrived with pizza, and a small group of teenagers were waiting beside the flames. A spherical drone hovered beside them in the air. They all turned around eagerly when they heard Rex appear, even the drone. Rex was carrying a pile of pizza boxes and handed them out one by one.

  “A meatballs pizza with extra meatballs and lots of pineapple. Disgusting,” he said as he handed Riot Master a box.

  “The meatballs look like tiny brains. Yum!” said Geoffrey.

  “And a dessert pizza made topped with chocolate, caramel and a triple shot of coffee syrup for you, Flux,” he said, handing a box to a thin girl with blue hair who fidgeted restlessly.

  “Call me Fluxeristic… or Speedtastic…. or Lightning,” she said, because she was always changing her villain name. Her real name was Alice, but only her mother called her that.

  “Sure thing, Flux. And a gluten–free vegetarian pizza for RoboRodent. Here you go, Ralph.”

  Ralph, more commonly known as RoboRodent, was a thin, nervous kid who had got his start building robot rats in his parents’ scrapyard. He wasn’t particularly villainous by nature, but building robots was an expensive hobby and he couldn’t find many legitimate means of paying for it. He had a robotic rat sitting on one shoulder which wrinkled its nose eagerly as he opened his pizza. Rex stepped up to the next supervillain and smiled.

  “And a collection of totally random toppings on a misshapen pizza for you, Chaotica. And I see you have been cutting you hair yourself again. I like it,” said Rex with a smile.

  Chaotica was a tall girl in mismatching clothes of all colors and styles. She also had the messiest haircut in the whole world: a forest of purple spikes that moved slightly of their own accord. Chaotica claimed to have Obsessive Chaotic Disorder and spent most of her days disorganizing whatever she could get her hands on. Rex wasn’t sure whether Obsessive Chaotic Disorder was a real syndrome or not, but he did know that Chaotica had once cut down a thousand trees in a forest plantation just because they were growing in straight lines.

  “Thanks,” said Chaotica.

  No–one knew if Chaotica had a real name, or if Chaotica was her real name. She didn’t answer those sorts of questions.

  “I had your mushroom pizza sent to your house, Code Cutter,” Rex said to the drone.

  “Thanks,” said the drone quietly.

  Code Cutter – or Maddison Jones to her strict parents – was the greatest hacker in the world, but she never left her room. Rex had only managed to convinced her to join the League by promising her that she could attend the meetings through her drones. The drones’ presence had been a little odd at first, but not nearly as odd as some of the other things that happened at the meetings, so the group had quickly gotten used to Code Cutter’s odd ways.

  “And a calzone for me,” said Rex.

  His pizza had been folded neatly in half, concealing its toppings.

  He wasn’t wearing a mask, nor were any of the others in disguise or costume. The League were the most dangerous group of A-grade teenage supervillains the universe had ever known, but even they needed somewhere they could go to just relax and hang out. They settled down at a table beside the fire and started eating and joking around.

  “Master SCREAM is dead, so I’m working on a new persona,” Rex said.

  The group nodded.

  “That was a good death, really convincing. We knew you would survive, though,” said RoboRodent.

  “But they shouldn’t have been able to find you. Even we only learnt where your castle base was last week,” said Flux as she passed a piece of pizza from her left hand to her right hand and back again.

  “There was a spy in your midst,” agreed Chaotica casually.

  “Yeah, we are working on it. Inevitable betrayal is–” said Rex.

  “– is the curse of being a supervillain,” chorused the rest of the League in unison.

  They had all experienced it before.

  “And I never even found out where your base was,” complained Riot Master. “You never tell me anything.”

  “I’m sure we mentioned it, you probably just weren’t listening,” Chaotica replied, flicking a piece of pizza at Riot Master.

  Rex had invited all his friends to his castle, even Riot Master. He wasn’t sure why Geoffrey was feigning ignorance, but certainly didn’t believe him.

  “Well, then at least I know it wasn’t you, Riot Master” lied Rex easily. “Anyway, to our second piece of business: Geoffrey made a move on the Icarus this morning.”

  The group fell silent and turned to stare at Geoffrey. He shrugged.

  “That’s breaking Rule Two, dude!” said Chaotica, pointing a pizza slice at him accusingly.

  Rule One was No Doomsday Devices… that rule caused a lot of arguing when the League had formed, but Rex had insisted. Doomsday Devices were far too dangerous and far too dumb: either the superheroes would get organized enough to stop them in time, which was bad, or they would destroy a piece or even all of the Earth, which in many ways was no good either.

  “And we only have four rules,” added RoboRodent with a weak glare.

  “Yeah… but this wasn’t my fault. I don’t know why I went to Icarus, or why I was able to control a whole pack of superheroes at once. You guys all know I can’t normally do things like that. I think I was being mind–controlled,” said Riot Master defensively.

  The League considered this point carefully. Psychics with enough power to control a superhuman were rare, but not unheard of. Riot Master himself was one. It was possible – but unlikely – that Riot Master was telling the truth.

  “I hate mind controllers. Present company excluded,” said Code Cutter’s drone.

  “Yeah. It’s like, do your own dirty work,” said Flux, bouncing on her seat.

  Rex nodded.

  “Okay. Looks like you are off the hook this time, Geoffrey, but don’t do it again. And the rest of us should be careful in the future to make sure it doesn’t happen to us. So, what’s everyone got planned for this week?”

  “Flux and I are robbing the National Bank of Old Europa,” said Chaotica gleefully.

  “And it’s my mom’s birthday on Wednesday, so I suppose I’ll have to steal her something nice this weekend. Maybe a crown, or a piano. Maybe a jet. Yeah, a jet,” added Flux.

  “Me and Code Cutter are working on some A.I. upgrades… really cool stuff. And I have a date,” said RoboRodent shyly.

  “So what? I have dates all the time,” said Flux.

  She had yet to find anyone who could keep up with her frantic pace, however, and she abandoned most of her dates within minutes.

  “Shush, Flux! Who is the lucky girl, Ralph?” asked Rex.

  “The Musical Menace… you know, the girl who broke into the Museum of Expensive Old Things and stole the flute that was their prize exhibit.”

  The group considered this news; they were not generally in favor of outsiders, but at least Ralph had chosen someone with style. Supervillains like style.

  “Yeah… I guess that was okay,” conceded Chaotica reluctantly.

  “Ask her if she has any single friends. All I have to do this week is get rid of a set of superhero detectives in my territory, and that won’t take me very long,” said Geoffrey.

  “What about you, Rex?” asked Code Cutter.

  “I have a few heists I want to pull off… I’m thinking of putting a team together. A team of superheroes to do my bidding.”

  The oth
ers laughed, but stopped when they realized Rex was serious.

  “How on Earth are you planning to do that?” asked Chaotica.

  “You will see,” said Rex with a wink.

  He didn’t want to tell his friends too much too soon in case they wanted to get involved or steal his plan for their own. Rule Three of the League was 'no interfering with each other’s plans', but most of the members considered this to be more of a loose guideline that a rule. They would find out what Rex was planning, but not before he wanted them to.

  “Trade time!” suggested RoboRodent.

  Trade time was his favorite part of the meetings. The villains started comparing their inventories of stolen goods, each hoping to out–bargain each other in some way. Trade time was one of the League’s great strengths, as each member had amassed collections of odd weapons, rare artifacts and dangerous technology that they didn’t need anymore.

  “I have a bag of blue diamonds and other random gems, if anyone is interested?” said Rex. Diamonds were pretty boring by the League’s standards, but Rex knew Chaotica had a soft spot for them.

  “Cut or uncut?” asked Chaotica.

  “Some of both, and different colors as well. It’s a real mixed bag of quality,” said Rex smoothly, knowing that would get her attention. Chaotica liked to decorate her villainous lair with gem stones, although sometimes she preferred backing them into pies and throwing them at school kids. She was weird like that.

  “What do you want for them? I’m in the mood for a bit of pie–throwing.”

  “Do you still have that krypton rod about a meter long you stole from Captain Peace?”

  “That lame thing? I’ve been using it as a towel rack. I’ll have my butler get it for you.”

  “Excellent.”

  They didn’t shake hands – villains don’t trust each other enough for that sort of thing – but they gave each other the tiny nods that villains used to mark a deal. The trading continued for an hour or so, and then Rex teleported away. Rule Four of the League was whoever bought the pizza didn’t have to clean up afterwards. The rule was a bit unnecessary: Rex always bought the pizza and cleaning up only involved throwing the pizza boxes in the fire and scraping cheese off the table, but Rule Four was the one rule that the League never broke.

  Jenny had watched the meeting from high in the rafters, hidden both by her own powers of invisibility and by deep shadows.

  “And you say that these are some of the most dangerous people in the world?” she said in disbelief.

  The supervillains were arguing about whose turn it was to scrape melted cheese off the table. Eventually RoboRodent did it, but he wasn’t pleased.

  “Yes they are,” said Voice.

  “And you want me to find out more about them?”

  “Yes.”

  “And I’m getting paid for this, right?”

  “Yes!”

  “Well, okay then. Who shall I start with?”

  She disappeared, re–appeared a second later because she had left her jacket behind, and teleported away again.

  CHAPTER NINE: ROBBING A BANK IS A WALK IN THE PARK

  Everybody has their own unique weirdness, and you will never be truly happy until you embrace yours.

  –Rex Rogue’s guide for aspiring supervillains, unpublished.

  Flux was first on Jenny’s list, and she was not easy to find.

  Flux lived in a dimension–bending airship shaped like an arrow that was constantly on the move. Flux called it her Hyper Speeder, but she never talked about whether she had made it herself or stolen it. It was capable of travelling twenty times faster than the speed of sound, and only Flux had reflexes fast enough to pilot it. It took Voice three days before he found it surfing the edges of a cyclone. Jenny teleported above it and managed to cling on as it flew past. The walls of the interior were covered in a matrix of glass tubes that lit up with bright flashes as light bounced down corridors and between engines. Flux’s minions rushed from place to place readying the Hyper Speeder for flight, and the walls began to hum with energy.

  “Wow! Being a villain is amazing!” Jenny said, because she had never heard of a superhero with such a cool base.

  “Don’t get any ideas,” muttered Voice darkly.

  “Ready for launch on the count of three! Three! Launch!” announced Flux over the loudspeaker.

  Jenny held onto a doorway and Flux’s minions leapt for their harnesses as the whole Hyper Speeder shook violently. The boom of engines filled the air and Jenny felt incredibly heavy from the acceleration. The engines suddenly cut out without any warning and Jenny went from feeling heavy to being weightless. She floated over to a window and was amazed to see the Earth below her.

  Flux had taken the whole building into orbit in a matter of minutes.

  “Voice, are you seeing this?” she asked.

  Her ear piece gave a burst of white noise and then fell silent. Jenny was alone.

  “Well, I guess I’ll just have a look around,” she said without concern.

  She found Flux and Chaotica floating in a command room. Flux was wearing a blue mask with clocks on it, but Chaotica was unmasked. The room had huge windows overlooking the world below and was filled with complex computer displays and controls. Flux sat at a flashing hologram display in the middle of the room, and Chaotica was staring at it with some interest.

  It was clear to Jenny that they were plotting a nefarious crime.

  Supervillains have many options when it comes to crime, but Flux and Chaotic had chosen a classic bank robbery, partly because Flux’s Hyper Speeder was expensive to run and partly because Chaotica despised the organized nature of bank finance.

  “So we agree that I will get the gold, and you will get whatever is in the safety deposit boxes?” said Flux.

  “Yup, that works for me,” said Chaotica as she tried to drink out of a bottle of milk, accidently sending tiny globules floating everywhere in zero g.

  Flux sighed, grabbed a cloth and tidied the droplets up in the blink of an eye.

  “And you can de–activate the bank security and vault locks from here?” asked Flux.

  “Sure… they are using simple semi–random enigma codes, so I can beat them with my eyes closed.”

  “Okay then. Zip!”

  Zip, Flux’s chief henchwoman, appeared in a second. She was wearing a blue uniform and carried a large speeder pack on her back that allowed her to move incredibly fast for short periods of time.

  “Yes, Mistress Flux?” she asked.

  “We move on the bank in three minutes. Brief the team and get ready.”

  Jenny was impressed at the speed things were going. Flux believed in making plans and carrying them out as quickly as possible; Chaotica didn’t believe in making plans at all if she could help it. They worked fast and with little fuss or discussion, and were a far better team than the Newtopian heroes Jenny had trained with.

  Zip sped off to get her people ready and Flux floated over to the cockpit built into the corner of the command room. Chaotica strapped into a chair, and Jenny flew over to a wall and braced herself. Less than a minute had passed since Zip had left the room, but Flux was already impatient to leave. She fired up the engines and started playing with the controls.

  “You said three minutes, but it’s been less than two,” Chaotica reminded her.

  “So?” said Flux, revving the engines until the whole ship shook eagerly.

  “I’m sure they are all strapped in by now, let’s get going!”

  The Hyper Speeder swooped downwards to the Earth at a reckless pace. Jenny closed her eyes as the ground grew huge in the main screens. Flux pulled up just before the Hyper Speeder hit the ground, flew low over the city in Europa and came to an abrupt stop right over the Central Bank of Europa. Jenny flew across the cockpit and hit a wall so hard that she dented it, but no–one noticed her in the chaos of the robbery.

  “Off you go, minions!” Flux yelled eagerly over the radio.

  Her team of superfast thieve
s and soldiers dropped out of the Hyper Speeder and dashed towards the bank, moving so quickly that Jenny struggled to follow them.

  “Actually… I think I’ll join them after all,” said Chaotica.

  “Why can’t you ever stick to the plan?” said Flux, rolling her eyes.

  Jenny followed Chaotica out of the fortress and down to the ground. Flux’s minions had chased all the civilians out of the bank and were fighting with the bank’s security team. Zip and her team all moved with quicksilver speed and had pushed the security team back with ease. A superhuman in a green cloak burst out of a bank vault and knocked Zip over, but Chaotica roundhouse kicked him in the head and sent him flying through a window. She stopped to admire the fragments of broken glass on the ground as Zip bounced to her feet.

  “Jenny?” said Voice unexpectedly.

  “Yep.”

  “We lost you for a moment… we will have to start boosting the power of our receivers in the future. What’s going on?”

  “Flux and Chaotica are robbing a bank,” Jenny whispered, pointing her phone camera at the bank for Voice to see.

  “What? Aren’t you going to get involved?” asked Voice.

  “Nah, I don’t think Flux and Chaotica need my help,” said Jenny as something exploded nearby.

  “I mean by preventing the robbery!” snapped Voice.

  “Oh. Should I? It’s not even a Newtopian bank, but I guess that’s what superheroes do, right? Do you think I should help?”

  It occurred to Jenny that a real superhero would already have intervened to stop the crime, so she wasn’t very good superhero material. Voice was probably thinking a similar thing. Chaotica threw a bomb into an office and kicked over a rubbish bin with glee. She was laughing and smashing things without any real interest in the money she was meant to be stealing.

  “I am receiving advice now… Don’t interfere, just watch. I need to know what they are using the money for,” said Voice.

  “And…?” asked Jenny.

  “And what?”

  “And how much am I getting paid for this?”

  “Just… just try and keep an eye open for problems,” said Voice in exasperation.